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Well, it has been 6 months since my operation and almost that long since I posted.  I am sorry now that I haven't posted more of my journey; I just read back over my other posts and it is so interesting to remember how I was feeling, etc.  I am down to 217 now.  I can't believe at this point that I was ever over 300 pounds!  I can't even imagine that person anymore.  It's funny because I have been so blessed by this surgery so far, and yet I do tend to still be too hard on myself.  Still thinking about the 30-40 pounds that I need to lose, and feeling fat occasionally.  Then I think to myself how fat I must have been at 315, and I am so happy, and sad too.  My arms and lower tummy are still very jiggly; I think they will always be unless I have surgery.  I need to try to remember to be thankful and not critical that I still feel like I can't wear tank tops.  I have been doing great.  I still have my gallbladder, so I think I am out of the woods for that.  I can eat anything I want (except the 2 times I tried to have Chinese food I feel sick, so I will stay away from that for awhile).  My periods seem to be regulating a bit (for the first few months they were so irregular, and terribly painful).  I bought my first dress the other day and I love it so much.  It is so nice to be able to wear something simple like a sundress with a bolero during the summer and not feel so HOT!  I am looking forward to seeing how I feel during the extreme heat of the NC summers and see if I tolerate them and not sweat like I used to.  Praying that I can lose the last 40 pounds even if it may take a few more months than I would like.

Well, I had another check up today.  Everything is looking good.  I lost another 8lbs from my last appt, for a grand total of 22 lbs since my preop appt.  Is that good?  I was really hoping for more like 12lbs this appt.  I need to not obsess over this.  I am always afraid that this will not work for me. On an up note, I have had no problems since my surgery.   I still need to work on my protein intake, and also eating more slowly, but I have had no dumping, no nausea, no problems!  I can even eat chicken, etc.  That is great because I was afraid I would not be able to eat anything.

Yea, I went to the doctor yesterday for my first post op appointment, and everything is looking good.  I have lost an additional 6lbs (down to 293).  I was a little disappointed that it was just 6lbs, but really?  6lbs in 6 days is nothing to sniff at.  I keep looking for any improvements, and nothing yet.  Sometimes I think my face is a bit slimmer, but I am not sure.  I was upgraded to full liquids, and I was told that this weekend I could do puree, and next week soft foods!  I can't tell you how excited I am to have an egg and maybe a slice of cheese!  I also started my vitamins and protein yesterday.   The vitamins are good, and not as many to take as I thought.  I already feel stronger after having some yogurt yesterday and a protein shake, and this morning I was able to walk a mile again.  Not too shabby considering yesterday before my appointment my knees were shaking from feeling weak.

I meant to post after my Oct 24 preop appointment, but I forgot.  My preop went pretty well.  I had an EKG and a lot of bloodwork done.  I had my weight checked and was told to start a modified liquid diet (clear liquids, full liquids like milk, yogurt, and pudding, and 1 cup of steamed veggies a day).  How brutal!  The first few days I was starving, but I think your body gets used to not having anything and you are not quite as shaky.  I was pretty good; I did cheat on Halloween and had a hot dog and chips with cheese at a church fair, and the night before I had a piece of Tombstone pizza, but otherwise, I really did OK.  The morning of the surgery I was down 8 lbs from my preop appt.  (307 down to 299).  My all time highest weight was 324 during my 6 month waiting period and finally going down to 315 during the waiting period.  I am pretty irritated though, losing 25 pounds in the 6months, I really can't tell.  Maybe it is because I have so much to lose.  

Surgery- Nov 2nd.  I was so nervous.  I sat in the preop holding area literally shaking with my teeth chattering.  I stripped down to a gown, and they started an IV.  I went to the bathroom one more time.  The surgeon came in to talk to me and asked me if I had anymore questions.  I just asked him to reassure me that I was going to be OK.  I went back to the OR, and they put a gas mask on me and that was the last thing I remembered.  No counting back, nothing.  I don't know if we did that and I just don't remember, or if that was really it, but I was so relieved when I woke up that I couldn't remember more.  In PACU, I had my vitals checked every few minutes; other than that I don't remember much except being amused that I kept trying to open my eyes and focus on what was going on around me, but not being able to stay awake for very long or focus on anything.  They sent me up to my room to settle in, and of course, more vitals.  My temp was slightly elevated which is so normal after surgery, but since I work in health care, I freaked out when it wouldn't go down right away.  I settled in and after a few hours, some family came to visit.  I was completely out of it (I thought I was great), and my sister took  a picutre of me to make fun of me for my drugged haze.  I remember thinking "this is easy, I barely hurt at all".  However, then the next day came.

Day 1 post op-   I had to go  and have a barium in the morning before I was allowed to drink anything.  The barium wasn't too bad, we only have to drink a very small amount of this special bariatric drink, but of my goodness, it was so terrible!!!  Definitely not the first thing I looked forward to drinking.  Everything looked good, so they ordered a clear liquid tray for me when I got back to my room.  Shortly after lunch, the gas pain settled in.  It was pretty uncomforable.  I walked the hallways, but every time I passed a little gas, more would start up after I sat down.  I also had this terrible pain under my breastbone, that I couldn't reconcile.  I could not take a deep breath, nor could I stand up straight.  I found out upon discharge that it was not gas, it was the dreaded JP drain that hurt so badly.  As soon as they took it out, I instantly felt better.  I hate that drain!!!!  I pray I never have one again!  I was discharged the 2nd day and I was so glad to go home.  Since then, I have been tired, and have taken it easy.  I have been on clear liquids, which is fine, because I have zero interest in food.  Sometimes I will see something and wish I could have it, but as soon as I visualize putting it in my mouth and actually eating it, if feel nausea.  It has been harder to get down my fluids then I imagined.  On  Saturday, I was only able to get down 20 oz and a popsicle.  Each day is getting better and I am able to drink a little more and a little faster (not too fast though).  It is Sunday now and I am sipping my Sobe, and I can already tell I am going to be able to drink more today.  I have had slight discomfort (my middle back hurts and I am all around crampy), and I do get sick to my belly when I drink, or start to move around a lot, but it is getting better.  More to come....

Finally, I have approval from Cigna.  I have been looking at surgery since February, and now in early October, I am finally on my way.  In a way, I am glad for the wait.  I initially wanted to have the LapBand, but over the last few months, I changed my mind and decided that the RNY is a better choice for me.  The more invasive surgery scares the you know what out of me, but I want to make sure that the weight comes off!  Some people I know have had great results with the Band, and others have trouble swallowing, losing weight, gaining weight, etc.  I go in for my preoperative appointment on October 24th, and then my surgery will be on November 2nd.  Will it work?  I can't picture myself any other way.  I hope to update after my preop, throughout the hospital stay, and of course, afterwards.