HeidiMc

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I'm ashamed to admit it, but *sigh* I am now a lurker.  I pop in everyday to check the Q&A and see if there's anything to add my 2 cents to.  I LOVE HAVING MY INTERNET!!  LOL

Lets see.... 

Had another sleep test and found out yesterday that I have to spend two more nights and a day in the hospital.  *sucks*  

Had to buy a new fridge, old one crapped out.

Joined weight watchers. (lost 3 # last week!!)

Brothers kitten ran away.

Brother's a bum.

MY cat is peeing on the floor in the bathroom (again) (too fat for liter box???)

Quit Papa John's two months ago.

Started at Walmart almost a month ago.

Still underpaid.

House will be paid OFF in TWO monthes!!!!  YAY!!!!

My two year mark for my RNY was last week and my follow up is next.  I'm totally stressed about it.  I don't eat well, I forget my supplements a lot, my exercise is nonexistent, and I’m in pain.

     Eating...I behave and stick to good eating for a day or two and then have thin crust pizza.  I don't really know how to cook nor do I have time.  I live off smart ones frozen meals, lean pockets, protein bars, canned soup, slim fast, protein bars, coffee, and diet soda.  And I cut my diet soda almost completely out.  I try to journal to help me remember, but I have a tendency to forget.  I did almost double my water intake at work the last couple of weeks when my grazing started getting out of control.  I started this new thing last week that has REALLY helped… when I want something really bad for me I ask myself if it’s worth gaining more weight. But eventually it may cause some self-sabotage…

    I’ve actually been good with the supplements the last week, I just always forget my last calcium for the day, but I don’t sweat it since I drink milk.

     My knee has bugged the heck out of me since November and I was ditching the gym.  NOW I’m banned since I’m in physical therapy (knee).  By the end of the work day I too exhausted anyway to go.  I keep asking if I can do anything there, but no.  I hate it.  I did sneak in there to walk on the treadmill though.  I NEED to walk at least. 

      I’m getting very mad at myself.  I’ve come so far and I feel like crap now.  I lost 115 # initially.  I’ve gained 30 # since November when my knee starting bugging me.  I’ve let my work schedule determine my meals.  I’m up to working 60 + hours a week.  12-16 hours I’m at Papa John’s which sucks since I will eat the pizza.  I’m really considering leaving and trying to go back to Wal-Mart (yay!, discount on fresh fruits and veggies AND they have salad).  I keep thinking when my house is paid off in August – everything will change with my work (Yes, I need both jobs). I’m deluding myself with that.  If I want to have my breast reduction and tummy tuck I need to work my a$$ off to get my RNY (yes, still paying on it) and my credit cards paid off.  My insurance will only cover the reduction.  I want this all done be this time next year. 

  No wonder I feel half panicked and stressed out.  Any help or suggestions are welcome. ..

I had my consult today with Dr. Birely.  He’s the plastic surgeon my mom recommended.  He went over the surgery with me, mostly reiterating what I already knew.  We talked about what I wanted done and how to get there.  He also recommended having my tummy tuck at the same time.  My concern is financing.  My insurance will most likely cover my reduction, but not the tuck.  Since I want to wait until my house is paid off in July to have surgery I think I will do both at the same time.  It’s $3000 cheaper that way than having two different procedures. 

I was so looking foreword to not owing any one any money after the house is paid off.  That little dream flew out the window.  I still intend on returning to school in the fall though. Guess I won’t be getting that new car this year.  I’m cool with that.  I’m getting used to not having the things I want and getting by with just what I need.   

Two years after moving out of my parents house, I finally got internet today.  'bout time.