Healthyforme

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Ugh, I am beyond frustrated with things lately! I haven't budged in over a month and I can't figure out why! I am getting my protein in, my vitamins, eating right, and excersising, I know not as much as I should , we have gotten that horrible bug that is going around, and been feeling terrible, but am still being active, nothin, not a budge. I stopped weighing myself daily and am lucky to do it once a week now, but I just am at al oss as to why this is going on. I know that we have stalls, and am very happy that I lost 75pds so far, I guess I am just scared that this is it. I don't have that funny taste in my mouth anymore (ketosis) and that terrifies me! 
I am just venting, I am just scared that I am almost 4 months out. I just want to be successful at this. I know I can do this!

I am so happy to say that FINALLY.... I am having a good feeling about all of this, sure the weight loss has been amazing and i love it, but the eating part has been very hard. I am blessed that I have not been really hungry since surgery and am happy about that, but I have had the hardest time the last 2 months eating really anything, I think we finally have it solved, wasn't a stricture or fissure, THANK GOD! Seems to have been acid production in my pouch that made me throw up everytime I ate anythng.
Last night we went out to eat with friends at Red Lobster and I was able to eat like a "normal" person! I ordered the crab and ate almost all of it!!!! It was amazing, I didn't stand out and LOVE crab so it was a win win! Wish I could afford it for every meal! ;)
I now am in a size 14!!!!! OMG, I can't even remember when the last time that was, and I didn't fit in them this good then! My shirts are  XL and going from a 3X/4X that is huge! I still have big boobs so don't think that I will ever be able to wear much smaller shirts but I am happy! Feeling great. I can keep up with my 4 kids! 
I do miss my ass though, If anyone finds it I would LOVE to have it back! haha! 
Hair loss is starting to worry me a bit, thankfully I started with a very thick head of hair, hoping that this part won't last that long! 
My husband keeps giving me these really creepy perverted looks all the time, so I guess he is still "into" me! Yikes! I still feel fat and so vulnerable, I guess that will be a long time before I can get my head around that part.
I am just so glad to be feeling like myself again! I am so thankful for this second chance!
Thanks for all the support along the way an the road ahead!

Well, I am about 6 weeks out from surgery! YAY! 
I have lost around 40pds and am feeling so much better! I decided that I will be doing measurements every month on my date, so I still have to wait a couple weeks since last time but I did cheat this morning and found that I had lost 5 in off my waist!!! Even with my stall I was losing inches! My husband is really noticing my "shrinking" self! I am only 3 pds away from him! I secretly can't wait to be smaller than him, it has been so embaressing for me to be bigger than him! 
I am so happy that he is so supportive of me! I know he has some issues but hopefully I am making him realize that he has nothing to worry about! Marriage is for better or worse and why would I ever trade someone in who loved me at my worst??? He is also losing weight with me! I am proud of him! 
Last night, I am so freaking excited, we went out to eat and I was ACTUALLY able to eat!!!! And not throw up! I ate salmon, mashed potatoes with butter, and asparagus! Granted it wasn't much but I kept REAL food down!
That is huge for me! I guess I have a very sensitive pouch and it is healing slower than I would like, but patience is not my strong point! ;)
My husband just called and said we were invited to dinner with friends of his to a chinese rest so now I am nervous about what I will be able to tolerate! But his friend is aware that I had surgery so its hsouldn't be awkward!
This has been quite a struggle to adjust to this new life but I am so glad that it is getting easier as the days go by! I was really doubting things, as i am sure most of us has! 
I feel like I am getting back to the person that has been hidden inside of me for way too long! I feel like a butterfly, can't wait to bust out of this cacoon and spread my wings!

So, I am 5 days away from surgey and am nervous yet so excited to start on this new journey in my life and in my families lives! They all deserve so much more from me. I am now about a yr and a half from 40 and am now looking forward to it and being a whole new me! I am excited for so many things this year! I am having a very hard time on this liquid diet before the surgery but in a way it is making me very aware of the addiction that i have with food and am able to start work on that as well!
Wish me luck!

 So my surgery date is set for Jan. 18 2012!! I am excited yet very nervous as it is such a big step! Sad thing is since I set the date I have had dreams and most of them involve food!!! geesh! Great time of year to start first month and am sure will be the frist of many things to come! I can't wait to get started on this new journey and see what is in store for me and my family! I hope that I can be a role model to them! I also hope that they will come to understand my choice and accept it for what it is! 
Ready, set, GO!!!!!