hazelbwneyes
I was never really a skinny kid but I was never considered big either. I am 5'10 and big boned with a history of big women in my family. To me I was on the wrong side of the genes from the start (I blame my family genes). When I graduated high school I weighed 200lbs and thought I was the BOOM! Then I had my first child and jumped to 265lbs yes I did. I lost 40lbs and then went through a horrible break-up and it was then that I realized that food was my best friend and I confided in it on a regular basis. When I woke up and realized that not talking about my issues and eating the pain away did me no good I weighed 295lbs. I was like what have I done in two years I had gained another person. Then I began to lose weight again and feel happy about myself and ended up pregnant with another child. When I delivered my son I weighed 340lbs. I felt like a whale that walked the earth and I wanted the old me back I was lost inside my fat somewhere dying to come out. I know that sounds strange but that is how I felt on the inside I felt small but it did not match what was on the outside. I got sick when my son was about 4 years old and had to go on steroids and my weight shot up to 365lbs and I was stuck there for 4 years. I could lose down to 350lbs but never could go any lower. Then I would always gain more back than what I had lost.
In October of 2006 I decided that I need to do something about my weight. I had to lose weight to let the real me out so I started looking at WLS options that was out there. I tried diet pills, low carb, low calorie, and 3 day diets but nothing worked. Then I heard about Lap Band. I researched and searched out people who had the surgery and what their results were. By December 2006 I had went to the Lap Band workshop, had a psych evaluation and set a date for January 2008. When I went for my pre-op appointment I was crushed my psych said he was worried about me and that that I was hearing voices and thought I was skitzo. I was like WHAT!!! are you kidding me I don't hear nothing. I was blessed with a Dr. that I had worked around before and he know me because he was like I don't believe that for one moment and then there was that BUT we have to see this through and you have to get reevaluated. I was like what I got to go through all that again I was thinking all those bubbles and questions when this is over I really am going to have issues LoL. Well that process took a whole year because between school, my children, and providing I did not have any spare time for anything. A whole year past and in January 2008 I restarted the process. I took the whole test over and was cleared. I scheduled my surgery for June 24, 2008 and was ready to start my journey to the real me.
