happy22
I have had weight issues all my life. I never felt worthy or good enough to be thin. I always felt different. I hated being the one to get made fun of. I always hated myself because I could never keep my weight off. Everything was about weight. The way people treat you, your worth, how you look in clothes, if you have friends, boyfriends, everything. My worth or lack of it was based on my weight. I never felt WORTHY. I got tired that of this and realized that my worth had to come from within. I have done so much work to feel good about myself and accept myself for who I am. I got there finally and four years ago I started contemplating lap band surgery. Something stopped me, I wasn't emotionally ready but did a lot of research. I got a message from the man upstairs and I finally got ready in October 2008. I went to a information group and knew it was my time. All the appointments and tests went by fine. The only thing that I had some difficulty was the insurance company. I was sooo upset because they put me through hell to get that approval. I prayed to God for acceptance of whatever the answer would be I would be able to deal with. The day after I surrendered I got my approval. I am awaiting my surgery next Wednesday, January 28, 2009.
