gtayl006

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I made a promise to myself that I would blog throughout this experience, and that is what I intend to do. It was very hard in the beginning because I felt so terrible. However, tomorrow makes 2 weeks and although I don't feel great, I feel so much better than I did. I am still not getting in the required liquid or protein (not even close), but I hold out hope that with work I will be able to. Emotionally I am getting stronger also. I down 36 pounds since starting July 6th which is the date I started my pre-op diet. July 16th was my surgery. I am not exactly sure what my actual surgery weight was because the scales at home and the scales at the hospital were different, so I am just going with my weight on the date of my 10 day per-op diet which was 350 and now I am 314. Wow, I can't believe it. My feet used to be swollen all of the time and now, my shoes are too big. What a great feeling.

I have set a goal weight of 150 lbs! And for the first time in my life I believe I can get there.

My surgery was on 7/16 and it has been way harder than I anticipated. I have been fine with the full liquid diet, and haven't cheated at all. The discomfort and emotional toll has been something else entirely. Today I left the house for the first time and went to my friends just to hang out with her while she went through her moms stuff (she recently passed away). Another friend had brought sandwich stuff for lunch and she described everything she brought and then made the comment "there is water in the tap for you". I was so hurt, it was eveything I could do not to cry.  Then all I could do was focus on what they were eating...so it was hard to just sip my vitamin water.
I just keep telling myself it will get better. old habits die hard!!!!!

So I woke up this morning with really swollen feet and I am not sure why. Today I wasn't feeling well so I haven't had anything to eat or drink all day. I used to do this and then at the end of the night gorge on really yummy high fat, high calorie food. I am SUPER proud of myself today because I am not doing that. I am going to have some soup and try to get some fluids in me, as I do think I am a bit dehydrated. My blood pressure was way up today too 154/106 and my pre-op is tomorrow. Hopefully it won't have a negative impact.

Monday is the big day and I am getting excited!!! Though I am worried about my FMLA paperwork being approved before I go. There is some termoil at work right now with re-organization and I really want to have a job when I get back!!!

So today has been a weird food/liquid day. I ate yogurt for breakfast, then about 1/4 cup soup this afternoon (waaaayyy too salty), then because I was told to eat some protein yesterday and today I gorged tonight on scrambled eggs and ate 4 of them. Ironically I still only ate 630 Calories today and 39g of Protein, yet my feet are SUPER SWOLLEN!!! I didn't drink anything all day until I got home after 8pm so maybe that is why.

I think protein and fluid intake will be my biggest struggle as I was never a big drinker before. Tommorrow I am back to my liquids......I finally told my staff today that I am having gastric bypass, it was hard but they were actually very supportive. I threatned to terminate them if they told anyone..LOL we work in a hospital so they total get HIPAA violations..

I have become obssessed with the scale...I know BIG SHOCKER. I am down 14 lbs in 6 days....feeling pretty good about that!!!

So, today started off rough....vomitted my protein drink and felt like poo all day. I reached out to the nutritionist who suggested that I eat some lean meat tonight just to get some calories and protein and to help me feel better. I ate a chicken breast and it was FANTASTIC, made all the different in all the world. I am down 12lbs in 5 days so I am feeling successful. Tomorrow I will get back on the liquid wagon but minus the protein shakes. Although I may not get 60g in, at least I will get something. Greek Yogurt has 14g per serving so that mixed with some milk for a smoothy will give me a good amount of protein, and do that times 2 or 3 per day and I should be all set.

I am so surprised at how difficult this has been. I am also surprised by the attitudes of some people on this support site who are condecending and rude. This site should be for support and help to get through the rough patches not judgements. We all go through rough times, just because you are at your goal you need to remember where you came from. This isn't easy, but we are all working towards the same goals.

I can't get over how hard today is...I am finding myself really tearful and a little grumpy. I am having a lot of trouble getting enough fluid in. I am barely drinking 8oz per day....though I am eating a lot of sugar free popsicles so maybe that helps some. I am beginning to wonder if having the surgery is worth all of this.....I know that after the surgery I will still struggle with my intake but at least I won't have the feeling of being hungry. I just keep telling myself this will all be worth it in the end. Off to look for some comfy pajamas...

Well the title of this blog is probably a bit misleading, as the journey has been a long time in the making. However, today began day 1 of liquids in preparation for surgery on 7/16/12. My journey began in July 2000 when I underwent a VBG. I did well for the first few months, but did not stick to it...and ultimately had a staple line disruption and gained all my weight back and then some. I have wanted a revision for some time now, but am terrified I will be unsuccessful. I see a nutritionist and a psychologist weekly in hopes that with support will acheive success. As of 6/20/12 I weighed 349.8lbs and am hoping to get down to 150lbs. I guess we shall see where I end up. I hope to blog a few times a week, to highlight my struggles and successes.