Grapplette
People Always Tell On Themselves Sooner Or Later
Aug 29, 2009
Hmmm...I am starting to suspect that some people want me to stay fat. They don't come right out and say it but their actions say A LOT. See, after getting my EGD results, the doctor told me that my stomach and esophagus were inflammed. I told him that it felt like I had thick mucous stuck in the back of my throat and no matter how many times I attempted to clear my throat, the mass was still there. He said it sounded like reflux and gave me a Rx for Nexium. Fast forward to this morning and I'm trying to fill the order at the pharmacy. I'm running late and this person-that-shall-not-be-named was waiting for me; I call letting them know the delay and the tell me to get the medication. I'm not sure how much of the cost my insurance will cover, so I ask the pharmacy tech for the total. She tells me Nexium is $190 and my insurance will cover $130 of the cost; I'm left paying 60 bucks. Well, there's apparently no generic available and I'd need to go to the bank to complete the payment. I call this person I'm supposed to meet to tell them the latest development and that I will be later than previously expected and they tell me to just come meet them and forget the medication. What they say next floors me: If I don't get the medication, I should just go ahead and die.
*silence*
I just rush off the phone because I know that I will snap and things won't end well. Their response was beyond irrational and I was hurt that someone could make such a comment. It seems like this could be a one-off statement (but who tells someone to go and die?) but this person has been...strange, to say the least since I decided to get WLS. I told them about the surgery and their response was lukewarm at best. They keep telling me that I'll never be able to commit to the lifestyle change needed for this surgery to be a success. Just horrid, horrid things and they think they're being helpful. I truly believe they want me overweight and miserable. That's not even close to love; it's borderline hate and just unacceptable but at the end of the day, I will be making a positive change to my life and ignoring those that don't have good intentions at play. Life is far too short to worry about whether others want you to succeed; I want it for myself and that's all that matters at the end of the day. I pray that they find peace because I refuse to accept that their issue(s) have an external source.
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*silence*
I just rush off the phone because I know that I will snap and things won't end well. Their response was beyond irrational and I was hurt that someone could make such a comment. It seems like this could be a one-off statement (but who tells someone to go and die?) but this person has been...strange, to say the least since I decided to get WLS. I told them about the surgery and their response was lukewarm at best. They keep telling me that I'll never be able to commit to the lifestyle change needed for this surgery to be a success. Just horrid, horrid things and they think they're being helpful. I truly believe they want me overweight and miserable. That's not even close to love; it's borderline hate and just unacceptable but at the end of the day, I will be making a positive change to my life and ignoring those that don't have good intentions at play. Life is far too short to worry about whether others want you to succeed; I want it for myself and that's all that matters at the end of the day. I pray that they find peace because I refuse to accept that their issue(s) have an external source.
Alone Time...Finally
Aug 28, 2009
Ok, so I'm sitting at home after spending the day with Mommie and Eric and it feels so good to just relax and have time alone with my thoughts. I was actually looking forward to spending time with Eric but am glad that he went out; so much has happened in the past 72 hours that I really need a moment assess it all.
*deep breath*
I had my EGD on the 21st of August and the procedure itself put fear in me but after meeting with the awesome staff at First Street Hospital, I was at ease in a way I never thought possible in a hospital setting. (Sidebar: My first time being admitted to the hospital was the end of April 2009 and I experienced my first IV drip; not to blame anyone but I was mortified at the experience because they came to draw blood and ended up drenching me, the hospital gown, the bedsheets and floor with my blood. I'd have overlooked it if the actually came to clean the blood off the floor but I had to stare at it overnight. Thanks, Hospital-That-Shall-Remain-Nameless!) I met the anaesthesiologist (sweet guy), the nurses, and the doctor performing the EGD and I was shocked at how quickly it was over. This was my first surgical procedure, so I was prepared for the worst but the Dr. was a consumate professional and I couldn't have asked for a better first time "going under".
Well, I went to a picnic the next day with family friends and two of them are a couple. The wife was pregnant with their first child and she was an absolute trooper! We were in that park for HOURS in Texan heat and humidity and she was rolling with the punches. Everyone was nervous that she would give birth at any moment but she held on and actually helped us clean until almost 9:30 at night. We go home marveling at how our friend was laughing, eating and just being merry on her due date; the next day, Eric and I have plans to meet her and her husband after early morning Mass. We come out and can't find them. Turns out the wife began experiencing severe pain late the previous night (we now know she was in labor...yikes!) and was told to come into the hospital the next morning to be admitted. Really long story short, a beautiful baby girl was born on Tuesday afternoon. Yay for P, L, Baby M!
Ok, back to WLS: I got a call from NeWeigh on August 25st, 2009 at 10:09 am! I was shocked at how fast everything had gone as I only went on my initial consultation on the 22nd of July. There was so much going through my mind and I truly felt blessed; I have a spring in my step and can't stop grinning for the life of me. Two days later, we scheduled my surgery for the 15th of September and I am just waiting for that new chapter of my life to begin. Ah! I just can't believe this! G-d truly is love.
I've got about an hour before they get back and I'm going to tinker around with OH and get a weight tracker and truly enjoy the time I have left before I become a "looser". It's funny: for years, I avoided the camera like the plague but now I'm ready to face it head on; the old me will be gone forever but I don't want to bury this part of my life. I want a reminder of how far I will have gone to achieve a healthier Grapplette; though this period of my life has been terribly painful (at times physically and definitely emotionally) I want to look back on this time with fondness and not regret. No, I'm not planning on reminiscing about the good ol' days when it hurt to walk short distances; I just need to remember that no matter what, I overcame an adversity through perserverance and a willingness to invest in myself for ME alone and not others. If the only thing I take from being overweight is this, then this time will be a cherished part of the journey to becoming the real me.
0 comments
*deep breath*
I had my EGD on the 21st of August and the procedure itself put fear in me but after meeting with the awesome staff at First Street Hospital, I was at ease in a way I never thought possible in a hospital setting. (Sidebar: My first time being admitted to the hospital was the end of April 2009 and I experienced my first IV drip; not to blame anyone but I was mortified at the experience because they came to draw blood and ended up drenching me, the hospital gown, the bedsheets and floor with my blood. I'd have overlooked it if the actually came to clean the blood off the floor but I had to stare at it overnight. Thanks, Hospital-That-Shall-Remain-Nameless!) I met the anaesthesiologist (sweet guy), the nurses, and the doctor performing the EGD and I was shocked at how quickly it was over. This was my first surgical procedure, so I was prepared for the worst but the Dr. was a consumate professional and I couldn't have asked for a better first time "going under".
Well, I went to a picnic the next day with family friends and two of them are a couple. The wife was pregnant with their first child and she was an absolute trooper! We were in that park for HOURS in Texan heat and humidity and she was rolling with the punches. Everyone was nervous that she would give birth at any moment but she held on and actually helped us clean until almost 9:30 at night. We go home marveling at how our friend was laughing, eating and just being merry on her due date; the next day, Eric and I have plans to meet her and her husband after early morning Mass. We come out and can't find them. Turns out the wife began experiencing severe pain late the previous night (we now know she was in labor...yikes!) and was told to come into the hospital the next morning to be admitted. Really long story short, a beautiful baby girl was born on Tuesday afternoon. Yay for P, L, Baby M!
Ok, back to WLS: I got a call from NeWeigh on August 25st, 2009 at 10:09 am! I was shocked at how fast everything had gone as I only went on my initial consultation on the 22nd of July. There was so much going through my mind and I truly felt blessed; I have a spring in my step and can't stop grinning for the life of me. Two days later, we scheduled my surgery for the 15th of September and I am just waiting for that new chapter of my life to begin. Ah! I just can't believe this! G-d truly is love.
I've got about an hour before they get back and I'm going to tinker around with OH and get a weight tracker and truly enjoy the time I have left before I become a "looser". It's funny: for years, I avoided the camera like the plague but now I'm ready to face it head on; the old me will be gone forever but I don't want to bury this part of my life. I want a reminder of how far I will have gone to achieve a healthier Grapplette; though this period of my life has been terribly painful (at times physically and definitely emotionally) I want to look back on this time with fondness and not regret. No, I'm not planning on reminiscing about the good ol' days when it hurt to walk short distances; I just need to remember that no matter what, I overcame an adversity through perserverance and a willingness to invest in myself for ME alone and not others. If the only thing I take from being overweight is this, then this time will be a cherished part of the journey to becoming the real me.
