Gianj
A little too much about myself, I am 34 and are 5'6 and 243 pounds. Last fall, I had some traveling to do with my daughter's cheerleading squad and noticed that other Moms were leaving me out of activities. I asked my daughter a few times about why weren't we invited on outting. My daughter finally told me that the other moms are afraid I can not keep up with them. Well, that really hurt.
So last year, I began seeing Dr. JB when he was with St. Francis. I was doing good seeing all the doctors for the pre-op. Then, i lost my job and of course fell further behind with getting my weight under control. I then dropped out of the program. Which was really hard for me to do.
It hit me again in late Sepember of how over weight I am. I went to Six Flags with my daughter and her friends. I love Six Flags and roller coasters. I was asked to get off a roller coaster because I had too much fat and the seat belt would not close. Then, I had to commute to NYC for a week for Training. I noticed that no one on the bus would sit next to me, because I flowed over into the other seat. I felt very uncomfortable applying for jobs not even being able to button my suit jacket.
Finally, I got a new job and started getting my bills back on track. I know this is gross, but 2 weeks ago I finally went to the mall and bought new clothes for work. I knew I was extremely over weight, but the last time I bought clothes for myself I was a size 10/12, now a 20/22. The gross thing was I was still wearing the old stretched out clothing with all the fat rolls hanging over the pants and so tight shirts.
Yes, I was in denial. I get scared off easily when it come to surgery. But, now I have to brain wash myself and remind myself that I need to have this surgery for me. To have better confidence in my marriage and to be a better mom for my daughter. I do not want to say I have poor health, but again that would be denial. I weeze just to tie my sneakers.
When I look in the mirror, I do not see a person over weight, I see the way I looked 6 years ago at 137 pounds. Then, I see other people who are over weight and think to myself they need help and I have no right going to this extreme. I exercise by walking and volunteer doing gardening projects. I tell myself to work harder, but I just can't get the weight off at all. Doctors have found nothing wrong with me. So, I have followed Dr. JB back up to North Jersey. I am going to see him Dec 8th and this time I am going to try not to chicken out, since that is what I think I am doing.
