getsemani

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It's been a month since I had my surgery, and I'm so pleased at what I'm seeing! My clothes are fitting looser, my face is slimmer, and I feel lighter on my feet. Although I still see the same fat woman in the mirror no matter what position I'm in in front of it, I know I'm losing weight because the scale doesn't tell tales. 

Due to the backlash I received when I shared my plans with everyone about my Lap-Band surgery back in 2008, especially from my now ex-husband and from my younger sister, I decided to share my revision surgery with just a couple of people. I shared my plans with my youngest daughter, who wholeheartedly supported me and traveled with me to Mexico for the surgery. I couldn't keep it away from her even if I wanted to because she lives with me. She, in turn, told her best friend, which was fine with me because I had told her to ask her if she wanted to go with us to Tijuana so my daughter had someone to go out with while I recovered. I also told my current husband, and it was needless to say that he was shocked, but he supported me. He didn't like the idea that I was traveling to Mexico without him, but due to his serious ongoing health issues, he wasn't able to go, and that's why I asked my daughter to go with me. You see, when I had considered doing this surgery in Mexico, I was considering doing it a couple of years ago, and he was completely onboard, and we were going to go together, but I chickened out and didn't go through with it.

I told my oldest sister, and I think she in turn told her daughter, but I was fine with it. I wasn't going to tell my two oldest children who live in Florida, but it happened that my oldest daughter broke her ankle and needed help. I desperately wanted to go, but I already had my surgery scheduled, so I had to explain to her why I wasn't able to go to her aid. She was happy I was going to do the surgery and supported me. Finally, I had to tell one of my sisters-in-law because I had asked her if she could stay at our place and look after my husband while I was in Tijuana for my surgery. She was mortified that I was going "so far away" for a surgery, but I defused all negative comments before they left her lips. I politely shut her down because, truth be told, I didn't care what anyone had to say about my decision. I only shared my plans with five family members and with a couple of people at work once I returned. I haven't even told my church pastor and his wife.

I had to be on a two-week pre-op diet, and I was 253. On the day of the surgery, I had gone down to 246, and as of today, I'm weighing 220. Altogether, I've already lost 33 pounds in a month and a half because I'm including how much I weighed when I started my pre-op diet. When I had the Lap-Band, I only lost 37 pounds in three months, but I was also weighing less. I was weighing 235 and went down to 198, stalled, and was never able to reach my goal weight of 160. 

I had my moment of victory when my son and I FaceTimed the other day. He's one of the ones I haven't told about my surgery. He has no idea that I went to Mexico and had it done, and I don't plan to tell him anytime soon. He doesn't like video chatting, and it's very rare when he does. Well, I almost jumped with joy when the first words out of his mouth were, "Mother, your face looks skinnier." I played it off and told him that it's all the stress I'm going through. He said, "You no longer have chubby cheeks." 

I've been following my nutritionist's directions almost to a tee. I tried one Wheat Thin, and on another occasion, I popped three cheese puffs and let them melt in my mouth because I was craving something salty. I don't deviate from the foods I'm allowed to eat. I've been strictly sticking to proteins, proteins, proteins. My stomach fills up with 3 oz of food, sometimes four if it's very soft and watery. Do I have cravings for junk food? Of course I do! Am I tempted to put something in my mouth that could make me sick? Not really. My stomach is still healing, and I know that I'll be able to eat "normal" again, just in smaller amounts. What I find challenging at this stage is that I can't eat anything on a menu when my husband and I go out. We've been to Denny's three times since my surgery, and he's felt uncomfortable with him eating, and I'm across from him not eating anything, but I'm not about to pay over $3 for one scrambled egg and another $3 for a couple of ounces of coffee. 

On Wednesday, we went to the beach where we first met as teens in the 80s. I packed up a light lunch for him and a couple of snacks. The weather was perfect, and we just enjoyed being together. He sat in his beach chair; I sat on the grass. We took beautiful pictures, and he ate everything I had packed up for him. We then went to Shakey's, where we ordered our favorite dish, with the difference being that I wasn't joining him. He told me that if he had known I wasn't able to eat with him, he wouldn't have asked me to go. I picked at a piece of chicken thigh so he wouldn't feel bad, but I didn't really eat. I pretended just to not make him feel bad. After we were done at Shakey's, I made a beeline back to the car and ate 2 oz of cottage cheese with pineapple, and I was full before I was able to eat the whole thing. 

I'm just getting started, and 60 pounds remaining before I reach my weight goal seems so far away, but I'm sticking to my guns. No medical insurance paid for this surgery. It was out of pocket, and I'm making sure I take care of my investment, and that's why I'm diligently watching what I eat and drink. I only drink decaf coffee, decaf green tea, skim or 1% milk, and Zero Gatorade. I'm actually sick of those protein shakes, so I hardly have any now. I'm still taking my blood pressure and cholesterol medication, plus multivitamins with iron, and I'm taking calcium chewables, which are yummy because they taste like a piece of caramel candy, and biotin gummies. I'm doing 100% better than I was when I had the Lap-Band. I was seeing a nutritionist after the Lap-Band, and it was out of pocket, but all she did was push for the HMR meal program, which I used throughout.

I took the leap of faith and had my surgery in Tijuana, Mexico. I was 253 pounds when I started my pre-op liquid diet on May 11. I was 246 on the day of surgery, and now I'm down to 234. I must admit that this revision was much smoother than when I had the lapband. I had very little pain in the hospital,but then again, they were giving me pain medication. Even so, I haven't had any issues at home, either. 

I had my surgery a week ago today, and I'm starting my creamy soup week, and I can't wait. I'm tired of just broth, protein shakes, and jell-o. 

So, my surgery was initially scheduled for June 20, but I forgot about a prior engagement for that same day, so we pushed it up for May 23. I'm starting my liquid diet today, and boy, is it going to be challenging! I'm tipping the scale at 253.

I finally decided to have a revision done in Tijuana, Mexico. My surgery is scheduled for June 20, but I wish it were tomorrow. I can't have it done any sooner because of my job. I work at a school, and we'll be on vacation from June to August, which gives me ample time to recover before returning to work. I'm undergoing the gastric sleeve procedure, which is significantly more affordable than undergoing it in the United States. I'm paying for the procedure myself, and I'm eagerly anticipating it. I conducted thorough research and have complete confidence in the facilities and the doctor I selected. 

The lap band wasn't it for me.

I weigh 260, have diabetes, and high blood pressure. I ended up being hospitalized from September 11 through the 15th because of chest pains and extremely high blood pressure. I weigh 260, and I have to lose the weight. I requested my medical records from when I had the lap band put in because I'm considering a revision here in California, rather than in Mexico, as I had considered a while back. Let's see what happens.

Last year, I decided to try the gastro bypass, but I'm still weighing the pros and cons and sitting on the fence. In the meantime, I'm back at the gym doing water aerobics and trying to eat as healthy as possible while I count calories. Perhaps I'll find a surgeon where I live and try filling my lap band . . . I just don't know what to do.

My weight went up to 260 but I'm down to 249. 

So, after much consideration, and research I've decided to go ahead with a revision in Tijuana. I looked at different places and one really stood out from the rest. I chose ALO Bariatrics and although I'm still a bit worried, only because I've never done anything like this, Sandra, the nutritionist and patient coordinator took an hour to talk to me over the phone and give me all the information I needed and wanted with no pressure on her part for me to commit.

I took two days to let everything sink in and think things through, but after much thought and weighing the pros and the cons, I went on ahead and paid the $500 deposit to confirm my surgery date. I'm scheduled in for surgery on July 11 for either a revision to sleeve or the gastric bypass. I'm still sitting on the fence with the bypass, but I'm seriously considering it. I don't like the fact that I might lose hair, which I've been losing for a while now as it is and do have a bald spot, and that I need to be on multivitamins for the rest of my life. I still have five months to decide whether to do the sleeve or bypass. 

I do hope and pray that with the revision I'll be able to reach my goal. I'm not asking for much! I just want to weigh 160 pounds which is what I was weighing when I married the first time. After I married in '91, I've never been anywhere near that weight, and even though I was a tad chunky, I would love to be a tad chunky and not obese.

In the meantime, I've already lost 20 pounds and down to 242 (as of this morning when I weighed myself) but it's so damn hard. I haven't been back to the gym because of very personal reasons, and I feel that the month that I'm paying for has been money down the drain. I haven't been able to go to the gym nor have I started going to my aerobics classes which I truly enjoy.

I keep to my healthy eating throughout the week, but on weekends I let myself cheat a little by eating "normal" food, you know, food that I really enjoy eating like perhaps, some fries from a fast food restaurant, or half of a cheeseburger and a sip or two of soda. However, I'm pretty damned proud of myself because I haven't gone overboard in the least, and I've learned how to "cheat" without feeling guilty or going over my calorie intake for the day.

I'm seriously considering a lapband revision to gastric sleeve, and I've been looking into having the procedure done in Mexico, just across the border from California. I looked into doing it here, but the out of pocket cost is astronomically high for me, running into roughly $15k, whereas in Tijuana it'll cost me approximate $5500. My mother is advising me against doing the procedure in Mexico because of all the horror stories she's heard about people having all types of surgeries done abroad. My husband is very supportive of my weight lost journey, and although he too has his reservations about me having the surgery done in Mexico, is supporting my decision. My only trepidation is the possibility of something going medically wrong. I'm still debating. Meanwhile...

I joined the gym and it's very hard to keep myself motivated. I love the water aerobics, but the class starts at 6 p.m. and I'm off from work at 3 p.m. If I drive home after fighting traffic on the freeway and spending a whole hour looking at the red lights of the cars in front of me, I don't feel like driving to the gym. I did go straight to the gym on Wednesday and walked on the treadmill for 44 minutes, walked almost 2 miles and burned 240 calories. Yay, me!!! I've also started eating healthy, again, and I'm thrilled to see that I've lost 12 pounds since January 1st. I'm down to 250 pounds. 

This is a neverending journey for me.

Now I'm weighing 262! I don't even know what else to say, but that I'm starting all over again.

Spring break came and went, and I was able to visit my sisters in New Jersey and my son In Florida. My mom and my youngest daughter were absolutely sure that I was going to break my diet and gain weight. Yes, I strayed from my usual diet, packing in more calories than was healthy, but man, didn't that food taste heavenly!?

But, you know what? I've been doing so good that I took that week to bask in food heaven for a bit, but in the back of my mind I knew that I had to step back in line, and not over do it. I only gained one pound, and I'm happy to say that it's completely off now. I'm now down to 250 pounds, 19 pounds lost.

I am the little engine that could, lol