Michelle M.

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I am here at my computer at 3 am and I can't sleep. My mind is racing. I am having a difficult time losing the 20 lbs. I need in order to have the surgery. So, many things happening all at once. It is so fustrating when something is happening to you and you have no control over it. But, despite everything I will not give up. The old Michelle would have just taken off and hid from the world. NO MORE!
I will continue with my journey. I knew this journey came with bumps and curves and maybe a few detours but, there are also, smooth paved roads. And I know that with my journey will come great rewards.

I hope everyone is doing great and I wish good blessing to all.

I have checked off a few more of the items on my "to do list". I had my EGD and barium swallow on Friday. I saw the dietitian and the appt. with PT. I had the sleep study done last night and I didn't even get 5 mins. of sleep the whole night. I will see my heart doctor next week and I will have the Psych. Eval.  tomorrow. I am still exercising or dancing that is twice a week and today I actually walked 1& 3/10 of  a mile. I did it in 2 ten mins. and one 25 min intervals. 45 minutes total. AWESOME!

I am sorry I am going to cut it short.

YOU KNOW THAT LACK OF SLEEP THING IS GETTING TO ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW.


Goodnight

Had a little trouble seeing the Cardiologist on friday, due to a referral problem. I will see my PCP on wednesday and get all of the referrals squared away with. I will see the Nutritionalist on thurs. (05/21) and I will also go to the support group on friday (05/22). On June 2, 2009, I will have my Pysh. Evaluation.

I will also go dancing again this week on wed. and thurs. and I am hoping to add another day, friday. Dancing is my exercise. I love learning new dancing steps.

I am working hard on getting everything do on time. My goal is to have the surgery by October 2009.

Yesterday was my birthday, 38 years old. This was the first time that I told everyone about my birthday before the day. I recieved a lot of birthday wishes, hugs and cards. A friend took me out for lunch. I also went to a latin dance class. I never thouht that my birthday could make me feel so loved. I had a wonderful day .
A friends mother made me fudge forr my birthday. I only had one piece. It was gooooood. Because I need to lose weight before the surgery I handed out the rest of the fudge. Although I know that eating healthy is apart of my new lifestyle, I think that cutting down is better than cutting out. If I cut out the things that I like or love, it may back fire and I may binge eat. In the past I would not have handed out the fudge, I would have just munched on the whole thing the whole day. I ate a small piece , no binge eating.

I have been more active in the past few weeks. I have been learning to Latin dance. It is so much fun. It really gets my heart pumping. Tonight I am going line dancing.

This is my first blog ever. I believe that other people will be reading this so, I need to be aware about what I write. I feel very panicky right now. I just started the process on my wls journey. April 29, 2009 was my first appt. with the surgeon. I have a list of things to accomplish before the surgery. I signed up for the yahoo support group and Obesity Help.com,  had an EKG,  some bloodwork and watched the EMMI presentation. I still need to visit with the Nutritionist, Physical Therapist and Psychologist, I need a Sleep study, EGD, and Barium swallow. Whew!

I weigh 299 now. I was told that at my height my ideal weight is between 85-105 lbs. (HA HA HA!) I will be happy at 150 lbs., when I will be able to walk better without stopping to catch my breath. When my blood pressure is normal and decrease my risk of a stroke or heart attack. I no longer need to worry about diabetes and diabetes complications. The sleep apnea is resolved. I will be happy when my health is Excellent or Good instead of Poor.

I think I have said a lot for today. I hope to write on my blog every week or as often as possible. Maybe, I will write tomorrow since it is my birthday. I am having a little gathering with some of my friends and I plan on going to a dancing class.