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I just read this pretty funny quote: To those who didn't support my decision to do WLS: You are a SLINKY! Pretty much useless, unless I push you down the stairs to laugh at you.

Anyways..I just thought that was pretty funny. Everything has been going pretty decent lately. I'm on my way to the losers bench..finally! This weekend was the holiday party for my work, it was pretty fun, but a friend of mine got a little out of hand drunk and made me want to leave..so I did. I get so tired of her most of the time.  She is just plain embarassing! It's one thing to lose control and just be stumbling drunk..but puking on the bar?! C'mon...seriously!? She's also the "best friend" that has been less than supportive of my getting the surgery.. She would probably qualify for RNY too, but I think she just wants to complain about being the only "fat friend" now.  So I left shortly after the mess..lol

I've been trying to do a lot of things that would be expected of me after the surgery. Getting my protein, taking small bites, chewing thouroughly, exercising, drinking water seperate from meals, and taking my vitamins. It's tough!! If anyone says this is the EASY way, I am going to call them a slinky and push them down the stairs...grrr..

Now that is out of my system...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! =)

~Jess

Hey! Today was an exciting day! I had my psych eval today. I wasn't nervous much this morning, but now I am. I sure hope I get the go ahead from him. It was kinda nerve wracking sitting there going over all the different probs you had growing up. I learned something interesting though. He believes that my weight is partly to do with my mom always putting me on diets and pills.

It was kinda weird, he had mentioned that spousal jealousy is always an issue when someone gets the surgery done. When I mentioned it to Cory he said I don't have anything to worry about..but of course I worry. Then he got even more mad when I pressed him about it.  He said that the neuropsychologist  doesn't know him and shouldn't make accusations like that...which makes me think he is actually worried about it and is getting defensive.

He believes since I have never had a big surgery like this that I will need some emotional support along the way. I agree, I definately need to find a WLS support group to attend. I've said it before, and I will say it again, I need all the help and support I can get..this is a life-altering surgery.

Kassy is having surgery today to repair her pelvis..good news she will prolly only need crutches..not a whole body cast or anything. I am thinking of going to visit her this weekend..it will give me an excuse to avoid my dad's side of the family's christmas party (boring...) 

Anywho, I got my whey protein isolate and some vitamins for after the surgery...it's a start at least! I also purchased some small dishes with lids and baby spoons, sippy cups. I am looking for a reliable digital scale..I found one at walmart that I will probably get. I'm also looking into some other dishes options. Ok, well have a great weekend!! =)

~Jessica! 

So, while I was a work yesterday I got a call from Cory's stepmom, Lucy. I didn't answer but on my break checked the voicemail. She said that Cory's sister, Kassy, was in a really bad car accident. She is in an ambulance on the way to St. Mary's hospital in DL.. So I called Lucy back and she said that her back hurts and her leg is "all messed up". That was all I could get out of her because she got another call. She wasn't able to tell me if Kassy's son, Javi (4 months) was in the car or not...so I kinda freaked out. I called Cory and told him the news and went back to work to wait until I hear more.

While on my lunch, Cory's mom called me to tell me what had happened. It was a head on collision, Kassy lost control of the car on some ice and ran into another car on the highway. At the time all they knew was, she has a broken pelvis and a broken hip. At this point I called cory and told him to try to get off work early so we can drive up and see her. Cory told me he could be off at five, so I told my work I was leaving then too.

Five o'clock rolled around and I left work to pick up Cory. We started the long ride to DL.. We were so nervous.. On the way, we realized that we didn't know how to get to the hospital, just how to get to DL. We called Cory's dad and he explained that she has a broken hip, pelvis, 3 broken ribs, a broken nose, a bruised kidney and spleen. She is being sent to the ICU and tomorrow they will find out if they need to transport her to the cities to do surgery.

I was so happy we were allowed to see her. The nurses said only family members could come in, so everyone said I was Cory's wife and we were able to see her. She was a mess.. She had cuts all over her hands and legs and her eye was all puffy. Anything she did hurt her.. She wasn't at all concerned with the pain, she was more concerned for her baby, Javi. She was able to see him earlier on, but now he was at home with her brother and grandparents. It was just heartbreaking to see her cry over this..

So, please, keep her in your prayers...she can use all the help she can get!

~Jessica

So, when I called the hospital at first I said that I needed to make my first appt ever to discuss gastric bypass surgery...The next day I received a packet in the mail with all sorts of paperwork and a book. In one spot on the paperwork it says that a refferal from your primary Dr is helpful but not required...then in another spot it says that a referral is required for business purposes.. say what!? Well, I have an appt with my regular dr in 2 weeks before work, but I just hope it is necessary. I called my insurance company and they said since it is all done in the Innovis network that I don't need a referral...but apparently I do...hmm.. I think I'm gonna call Park Rapids and see if it is really necessary. I've also been calling like every 3 days to see if the Dr that does the psych eval has any earlier appts...kinda dumb that they only have 1 dr in the entire 10 hospital network that does these.. Doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyways, so I told kelsey about the surgery...didnt' go too well. She didn't say anything positive about it at all... No, glad you are deciding to change your life.. good luck...cool...nothing!! She only said, "Now I'm gonna be the fat friend!" grrrr....then give yourself the power to change it rather than just bitchin! Other friends were nice. Maybe they don't agree with me getting it, but they will support me regardless..so that is pretty cool.

I've been thinking about who will pick me up from the hospital. I thought about having Cory stay with me in the hospital while I'm there..but since I will be off work for a few weeks and we still need money, I don't think this is an option. Maybe my parents could help us out with the bills and stuff...they are always so helpful like that. If all else fails I could ask my brother or something to give me a ride to and from the hospital.

Well, I am gonna call Park Rapids and see if I'm not understanding something. Bye!

~Jessica!

::EDIT:: So..I called Loretta in Park Rapids. I asked her if I had all the appts i needed. She said that I don't need to visit a nutritionalist, but a referral from my MD will be nice, and it will give me a chance to talk to him about it. So that's awesome! Then I talked to her about Dr. Haugie (sp?). I told her I think its kinda dumb that they only have 1 psychiatrist that does these evals in the entire Innovis network.. She said she had an "in" with Dr. Haugie and will try to convince him to squeeze me in. An hour later I got a phone call from Dr. Haugie's nurse saying she has bumped me up to this Friday...WOW. Talk about customer service lol. Anyways, so by the 4th I will have all the appts finished to get approval for the surgery YAY!

So. I broke the news to a few coworkers/friends and I am pretty proud of their response. All of them said good luck and those who had the surgery gave me a few pointers. I still haven't told my bestie, Kelsey, I worry what her response would be...she usually tells me she is sick of hearing about people getting the surgery done and thinks its an easy way out... If you really think about it, a life changing experience like this one is no easy feat. I have been so excited the last few days, I received my first information packet from the Park Rapids hospital! I got a book and lots of other pretty cool info things.  I have read most of the book, and am more than ready to start my new life! As I mentioned in my last blog, I am extremely nervous about the possibility of something going terribly wrong before, during, or after the surgery, but after reading and researching a little I feel a lot better about it.

Cory, my boyfriend, has prolly gotten sick of hearing me talk about it..lol  I am just SUPER excited for everything to hopefully come into place. He was considering not sitting through the entire 8 hour meeting on the 4Th, but after thinking about it he decided it would probably be best to hear about it for himself. I was so relieved to hear that he had decided to put all prejudice aside and push through all this with me. Also, I have given up regular soda. I only drink water, milk, and sugar-free juices. I am so proud!! Now, just gotta stick to it... lol. I don't have a scale at home that allows me to go above 300 lbs...so my goal before surgery is to at least get below 300, hopefully 290 or so...depending when my surgery is and what my surgeon requires. Anyways, I am not as nervous as I was last time, so that's a start at least..

<3, Jessica!

I just scheduled my first appointment EVER to discuss gastric bypass... Turns out it is an 8 hour information meeting and I have to drive 2 hours to get there. I actually like that the appointment is more like an all day class to learn more, and start planning my future before the surgery. I am just a little disappointed that I have to drive so far for the meeting and then the surgery, but for all of the follow-up visits, psych evals, and so on I can go to my regular MD. I guess it is kinda nice because this is a branch of my hospital that specializes in gastric bypass. Now... I am pretty scared of two things. One, I don't know how my friends and some of my family member will react to my decision. Several of my coworkers have had great success with the surgery and have been giving me tons of advice, but I haven't really told many people close to me. Of course, my mom and boyfriend will approve..but what about the other people I've heard criticise the other women who have gotten gastric bypass? Also, the other thing that really freaks me out is the possibility of complications after the surgery. My aunt had this done 2 years ago...she ended up getting the flesh-eating disease and spent an entire year with most of her flesh cut off of her and in so much pain because she couldn't have any pain meds. I know the chances of something as catastrauphic as this happening are slim to none, and, seriously, what are the chances that it will happen to me too, because it already happened to someone close to me. Well, I guess those who don't support my decision aren't worth worrying about...and I am going to a GREAT center that specializes in the surgery so what are the odds of something extremely aweful happening to me? Not too much. All-in-all I am EXTREMELY excited to be getting this done and to start my new, more healthy life.