Deborah L.

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I have exactly one week until I am on the plane heading off to Phoenix, Arizona where I will meet with my surgeon and clinic for my pre-op. My husband will accompany me. Part of me wishes it were the actual surgery but that will come in time. Right now, we are pretty certain that the surgery will be in early September (maybe the 10th?) I can live with that.

Why am I going to the US for surgery? Getting a surgery here in Canada is far too hard and too lengthy a process. I want change now - not 3 to 5 years from now. Do you know what I mean? It was 2004 when the idea of a gastric bypass was first suggested to me. At the time, I was shocked and appalled at the suggestion. I could do it on my own - I just needed some time. Ya right! Time to gain another 30 pounds or more. Yikes!

Since bottoming out with major burnout and severe depression 5 years ago, my weight has been on a steady uphill climb. It's atrocious! I mean, I was never exactly thin before. My BMI was a 30 I think. Not great but not too bad. Now I am at a size that I cannot live with anymore. Everything makes me tired and out of breath. I sweat like a lumberjack - it's totally gross. Honestly, I hate going out in public because of my sweat. And I totally avoid any situation that will leave me sweaty AND fatigued and out of breath. I am looking forward to being able to do ANYTHING I want when I lose the weight.

So, like I said before, I'm excited at the prospect of change... REAL change. Not just 20 or 30 pounds. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about what I will look like when I lose the weight. I wonder what weight my body will settle on when it is all said and done. If I could be just below 140 pounds for the rest of my life, I'd be so happy! I guess we shall see what happens.