eufaulaM

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Here I am again 2 babies later and 23lbs heavier from the 2 pregnancies. I guess thats actually not too bad considering I had back to back pregnancies. One of my 3 boys is 19 months and the 3rd and final boy is 1 month and not to leave out my 12 yr old you can say life can be stressful and I have been keeping my emotional eating in check. You know I don't give myself enough credit. I've truly made significant progress in the area of managing my thoughts and emotions when it comes to eating and refilling my emotional and spiritual tank. In place of eating I go to the Lord in prayer. Meaning I confess to Him my true feelings about a person, my situation, or problem and tell Him that I release my thoughts, opinions and any perceived solutions about a thing or situation in exchange for His peace and solution. When applicable I forgive - vengeance is mine says the Lord I will repay. So, in this case this revelation implies there is no need for me to keep record of the wrong or try to figure out the situation. I am only to take the issue(s) to Him and rest in Him for the solution or the answer. I know thats tough for the go getter or the doer or even the worrier, as I am one of those people. But, its better the other way because helps me manage my stress levels and those swirling thoughts.

Well anyway I am ready to began my weightloss journey. Lets Go!

WOW!! It has been a very long time since I've last posted. Well, since I've last posted I had a baby and gained 16lbs back. So, I am getting a personal trainer to get back on track. I hope to do that in the next 2 wks. Also, I will keep a food journal until that time comes so that I can will have a better picture of my eating habits (this should be interesting).  Stay tuned....

The process of weight-loss is just as much emotional and spiritual as it is physical and physiological. I am learning that lesson as I am moving forward in the process. When I get emotionally drained I looked to food to fill me back up. But, the thing is how much food will it take to fill my emotional tank. When I get that way I can not eat enough to fill that tank, so I end up eating and eating and eating. But now I catch myself and and I leave the kitchen and separate my emotional hunger/thirst  from  physical hunger or thirst. I meet the emotional need and then I meet the physical need (maybe not in that particular order) but the idea is that both needs are being addressed. With that said I went to the first support group that my surgeon has created and I learned so much. It was really good to be around people who are making that journey and learn from them - what works and what doesn't.  But, what I learned was many people at the meeting was really frustrated with their process and their band. It was truly a reminder that the band is only a tool and if you do not follow the guidelines you will NOT be successful. Do you hear me.....IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THE RULES YOU WILL NOT GET THE RESULTS THAT YOU'D HOPED FOR!!!!!

Since my last post I did manage to get back on track. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me with my eating and to help me get back in control. As a result, one of the biggest adjustments that I've made in my journey is logging my food. It is true this is the single most powerful thing that you can do - log your food. It may seem like a hassle to do, but the benefits are well worth it! From this I was able to lose 4lbs in one week. Furthermore, this accountibility tool/method certainly made me think about my meals and contemplate whether or not that extra serving or choice of meal would push me over my daily food/caloric allowance. I started logging my food at this free website called fatsecret.com. There I am able to track calories,fat intake,exercise,protein,and carbs. I've also kept my daily calorie intake to 1200-1400 calories per day, but burn about 3000-4000 calories from daily activities and exercise.  I am really happy I started back doing the this. I've also, ramped up my exercise to about 45mins to 1hr daily and off on the weekends for recovery. I do circuit training 1-2 times per week and I attend group exercise classes (Zumba,Martial Arts inspired exercises,pilates,etc) just to break away from the hum-drum of treadmills and eliptical machines.

Here's to another successful week!

I realized something as I pulled into my drive way. I need to recommit to my process of weightloss. The weightloss has slowed and I am not experiencing those big losses and partly because I forgotten some of the lapband fundamentals. Many of these distractions have come through alot of emotional eating and stress brought on by family issues and daily stressors. I realized that I must press through these trying moments and respond with a greater resolve that my physical and mental health are very important and should be top priority...I mean up there with God, then my mental and physical health and I've certainly never looked at it that way. I am my most important asset and responsibilty and I must take the time to honor God with my body and my mind.

Over the last month my mother's mental illness, my husband's emotional neediness/demands, and my own personal battles have weighed heavy on me. I can not use food to support or comfort me. Food is not a reliable friend nor is it a foe. it is how I fuel my body, my temple. I must ask myself what materials will I use to build my temple, how will I choose to fuel my life. Will I fuel it with oreo cookies, hamburgers, french fries, cookies n cream ice cream or salmon, chicken breast, veggies, red potatoes, tuna, egg beaters, tomatoes, lettuce, mushrooms, talapia, apples, peaches, grapes, avacados?

God has put treasure in my earthen vessel and it is up to me to dig it out, not with a spoon, but with my thoughts and choices. I chose life when I had this surgery and choose life right now as I go and have a healthy lunch. I recommit to the process.
I am still grateful for this extraordinary opportunity that this WLS has provided me. I have still lost more weight than I ever thought possible going at it alone. Thanks again God for leading me in this direction and making it possible and to Dr. Eldridge for having the knowledge, experience, and descipline to perform this surgery.

Until next time,

Eufaula

It's been awhile since I've posted to my blog and I really need to get back to posting more regularly. It is really important that I take the time to journal and identified my own pit-falls so that I can stay connected to my own process of weightloss, I've enjoyed much success through out my weight-loss journey. I refuse to just go into auto-pilot. Auto-pilot with leave you ship-wrecked and out of control of even your own process. I beleive that "living on purpose" is the road less traveled. Because it is tough and it doesn't let you off the hook and it is the way of no excuses. This is the path of  "own it". It seems that this has been my journey/lesson for the Month of April. The significance of this journey is simply you take resonsibility for your own life and the outcome and allow others to take responsibility for their life and their outcome. No longer will I shoulder the burden for things and situations that they should take responsibitly for.

I got my second fill 3/24 up to 5ccs with good striction. I know that next one may be the "sweet spot". Hmmm...we'll see. Anyway, my Dr was really pleased with my progress and asked how I was doing it. I said that I err on the side of compliance to the rules. Practice, practice, practice the rules until it becomes apart of you and in no time you'll have that inner guide/boundary that will always challenge you to stick to the plan. When you get to this point of your journey  you would achieve consistent sucess - not a journey with out error, but striving to doing the right things - eat the approved foods in the correct quantities/volume and increase daily activity and not to mention I joined Weight Watchers -  90% of the time the other 10% is called a free day. I plan to post some updated pictures really soon!

Until next time I press on.

As of 3/13/2011 I mis-carried the baby and discovered that I was further along more like 6wks pregnant. I was really depressed and gained 3lbs that week. As I laid in the emergency room Sunday morning I knew that God was with me and there to comfort me. I was confident then,  as I am now, that HE loves me and cares about the things that I care and hurt about.  I was really up and down emotionally and my son was off for Spring Break last week, so I had to really power through and grieve as I had opportunity. We did a lot of activities away from the home to distract the both of us. With that said I re-lost those 3lbs gained, which was good. I am feeling better these days emotionally and physically. Once again God has shown HIMSELF faithful to me not just in the best of times, but even in the worst.

I am shocked to say the least. But, I am just as excited! Pregnant after 10 years of infertility.....

Ok I can handle this. I can do all things through Christ: I can bear all things, I can over come all things and I can withstand all things through Jesus who will strengthen me. That's my stand.

I plan to continue to be active and eat well. Thats my plan. The weighloss is slow and steady, but I have enjoyed every minute of the journey and the less I've stressed about it the weight loss becomes more steady and consistent.

I have lost another 1lb since yesterday - I am now down to 213lbs!