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9/2/03
I finally did it!!! After all of the years of researching WLS, I have finally made a move to improve myself. I am so tired of not being able to do everything I want to do in life. So, after reading a few profiles on local members from my area, I discovered a surgeon just a few miles from my home. His name is Dr. Gerald Cahill out of Little COmpany of Mary Hospital. He performs the Lap Band surgery which is what I want to have. I called today and I am scheduled for a consultation on 9/22. I was told to bring a letter from my Primaty Care Physician recommending me to have the surgery. They say it will be easier to gain approval from my insurance. I am just hoping that my Dr. will do this for me. I have spoke with her about the surgery before and she doesn't seem against it. Although, she did want me to try Weight Watchers first. Well, I feel that as obese as I am now it is a waste. Every diet or program I try and lose weight on I lose and gain double back. I will update my profile once I attend my consultation.

9/22/03

I met with Dr. Cahill today and I really liked him. He was very straight forward and honest. He told me right from the beginning that he didn't think that my insurance (Plumbers Local 130-BCBS) would cover the Lap Band surgery. So, I decided to talk about Lap Rny. That is what I had decided on originally anyway. He would not talk about it with me, because he said that he wanted me to have the Lap Band since that is what I came in to talk about. He said he didn't want to feel like he changed my mind. He said that we should submit it to the insurance first and see what happened. If the insurance doesn't cover it I can be a self pay, but I'm very sorry I can not afford $14,000.. If it comes down to it I am having the Lap Rny. I can not stand to be obese anymore. I want to be able to do more with my 3 children (6, 2 and 2 months) I have so many things wrong with such as,heavy periods, low back pain, feet pain, sleep apnea, acid reflux and leaky bladder to name a few. My husband told me today that my breathing and snoring are so bad at night that he can't sleep. He is afraid I am going to stop breathing. He said I sounded like a ping pong ball last night. Whatever that is supposed to mean. So, please keep your fingers crossed for me to get approved.

10/03/03
I am so upset! I just got a letter from the Local 130 Plumbers Welfare Fund denying me for the Lap Band surgery. They say they feel it is not medically necessary. I am 30 years old with a BMI over 50 and have all of the above co-morbidities, so how can it not be medically necessary???? I talked to a girl today that has the same insurance and was approved for the Lap Rny, so maybe they just don't pay for the Lap Band procedure. I am going to call the Union Hall on Monday and speak to Mr. Scruggs the Fund Administrator and see what the problem is. Dr. Cahill's nurse Donna said that they would call and see exactly what I needed to get approved, but I would rather find out for myself. I also made an appt. with my PCP for Monday to try and get a real good letter or recommendation from her. I think that will help. My friend also recommended me to get a letter from my gyne. So, this is where I stand as of right now.

10/15/03
It came today!! My letter of approval from my insurance came today! Oh my goodness, I am so nervous. I talked to Donna at Dr. Cahill's office and they wanted to schedule me for surgery on October, 29th already. I can't though, because I want to be home for my kids to go Trick-or-Treating. So, my husband and I have been thinking and since we have so much going on through the end of the year it might be best to schedule for the first of the year. Then he will be able to take a week off of work, because he will have a paid vacation coming. I do need him at home to help me take care of the kids, because I know I won't be able to lift the baby. I don't want to wait that long, but I know it's best.I am so excited!!! Not too much longer and I will be able to regain control of my life. My daughter is so excited to! She asked me if I would be able to go down waterslides after the surgery, so I know she wishes I could do more fun things with her. Until next time, Good Luck to all you lucky ones having surgery soon!

10/17/03
I called Donna at Dr. Cahill's office today and scheduled my surgery. My re-birthday is January 5, 2004. I am already nervous! I can't imagine what it will be like for me when the surgery gets closer. My husband wasn't very happy about me having surgery at first, but he sees how happy I am about it so he is changing. Plus, he sees my health starting to fail. He can't sleep anymore at night, because my snoring has got so bad from the Sleep Apnea. I told him I would sleep on the couch, but he is so sweet that he said he would deal with it until I have my surgery. He is such a great husband! My children are also the best! I am so lucky! My life will be perfect once I have my surgery. Good luck to all of you having surgery soon!

10/24/03
I went to see Dr. Bednarz for my Psychiatric Evaluation last night. I think it went well. I had to take a paper test first and then Dr. Bednarz spoke with me personally for over an hour. He really gave me alot of helpful info on the psycholigal part of the surgery. He stressed to me how important the Protein Shakes are for your body to function. So, he suggested me to try them out now and if I can't handle them he doesn't recommend me to have the surgery. I will down them even if it kills me, because I have to have this surgery. I found the experience to be very comforting. I have never seen a psychiatrist before, but I will not ever hesitate to now if I feel depressed or anything. I walked out of his office feeling very good. My next step is the Pulmonary test and that is scheduled for October 29th. I am very nervous about this test. I will let you know how it goes with my next update. Good luck to all those having surgery soon!

11/19/03
Well less than 2 months before my surgery now!! I am getting pretty nervous! I had to cancel my Pulmonary Test due to having no babysitter. I also called for my Psych Evaluation results, but they weren't in yet. They told me to call back in a week and it has been well over that. My neighbor's friend that is only 18 had her surgery on November 6th and she is doing great. She has lost about 20 lbs. already. I am so happy for her! I know every teenager wants to be skinny, because kids can be cruel! I am so happy I have a great husband! He is so supportive of me! I don't know what I would do without him. I just wish my parents would support me a little more about the surgery. I understand they are worried about me not making it through, but aren't they worried about my health, because I am so obese?? They make me feel down about the whole thing and that is not what I need right now. Well at least my 6 year old and my husband are excited! Good luck to all of you having surgery soon!

12/11/03
My surgery date is coming so quick now and I am so nervous. The Admitting Nurse just called from the hospital to schedule all my Pre-Op tests. I have to have a Gallbladder Ultrasound, meet with the Pre-Admitting Nurse, get Lab Work Done and have an EKG all in the same day. That seems like so much! At least I don't have to keep running back I guess. I have an appt. tommorrow to meet with the Pulmonary Dr. I hope everything goes well. Then on the 22nd I have to have a Pulmonary Test. If anything I am feeling like if anything is wrong with me they will definetely find it with all this testing. I've been feeling a little down latelt, because I feel like I don't have any family support. My husband is the only one and he is fantastic! I know my parents only know what they hear from the media, but I wish they would support me more. I could die just as easily driving in my car as I can from this surgery. I know they are just afraid of losing me. My mom seemed to listen to me a little more today when I was talking about it. I guess she just figures that I'm doing it no matter how much she is against it. So, she might as well support me. I am going to on-line today about ordering VistaVitamins. I hear they are great Vitamins. Well I better stop rambling on for now. Good luck to all the Pre-Ops having surgery soon!

12/20/03
I went for my Pre-Op class yesterday. I finally got to meet Tony Romero. He made me feel a whole lot better about having the surgery. I walked out of there felling 100% better than I did when I walked in. He was able to answer alot of questions that I had for him. We also got to meet a very nice lady by the name of Tiffany that had the surgery 1 year ago. She looks fantastic! She was also able to answer alot of questions for me. I met a gentleman that is also having surgery the same day as me. So, that was exciting. I really don't know what I am going to do as far as vitamins yet. I thought I had decided on Vistavitamins, but Tony introduced us to a vitamin called Bariatric Vitamins or something. I am going to research it a little more and decide which is best for me. I also wasn't too happy when I found out I have to give myself blood thinner shots for 12 days after the surgery. I hope I can con my husband into doing it for me. I just don't think I can handle it. Yes, I am a big baby! I only have 16 more days to go to begin my new thinner life! I am so excited!! Good luck to all of those having surgery soon!

12/28/03
1 more week and I will be on my way to a new healthier life! I am getting so excited! It all started hitting me when I was at the hospital on Saturday having all my Pre-Op Testing. I had a Pulmonary Function Test, a Chest X-ray, Ultrasound of the Gallbladder, Venous Doppler, Urine Test, Blood Work and Medical History. I think everything went well except for my Gallbladder Ultrasound. The technician said I have Gallstones. Which probably means I will have to have the Open Procedure instead of Laparoscopic. I would rather have it removed now then have to have another surgery in the next couple of months anyway. I have never had any pain or problems from my Gallbladder until I had the Ultrasound. Now it is hurting so bad. It might just be from the technician pushing on it so much. My mom seems to be supporting me a little more these days. I guess she realizes that I am having this surgery no matter what. She has always been there with me during everything major in my life, including the birth of my 3 children. This will be the first time she won't. She wants to be, but she has to care for my children for me. So, I am going to be a basket case without her. My husband will be there with me though, so everything will be fine. Thanks to everyone that has left messages for me on my surgery support page. It really means alot to me! I will probably post again before surgery. Good luck to all of those having surgery soon!

1/1/04
Well, I have decided to have the Open Procedure and have my Gallbladder removed. I just don't want to chance another surgery in the future. I got a call from the hospital yesterday and I have to go and retake some bloodwork, because the anestiologist said something came up abnormal in the last one. So, I have to go tommorrow since the Lab is closed today for the holiday. I hope this doesn't postpone my surgery. My husband is scheduled for vacation and it would really mess things up. I am getting so anxious! I can't beleive only 4 more days!!! I wish it would hurry up and get here to save me some anxiety! Good luck to all of those having surgery soon!

1/4/04
Tommorrow is my big Day!!!! I am a little nervous, but not too bad. I spent two days making sure all the laundry is done and the house is clean. I keep having those moments where I tell my husband where stuff is and how to do things just in case something happens to me. I know I will be fine, but the thought is still in the back of my mind. I drank my magnesium citrate a short time ago, so I'm waiting for it to take affect! So, I plan to spend a little time in the bathroom! I am on clear liquids today, so I ask my husband (Paul) to take the kids out to eat, so I don't have to see them eat. I will be ok about them eating I'm sure after surgery. I went and picked up some samples of some vitamins yesterday. The owner of Pass Health Food (Joanne) didn't want to sell me any yet, because she said my taste buds would change so try them after my surgery. She also gave me some samples of protein drinks. If you live in the area I highly recommend you go to Pass Health Foods in Palos Heights, IL. The owner had Gastric Bypass about 13 weeks ago and she really is a big help! Email me if you would like the info. THANKS to everyone that has left me such kind words of support!!! They really mean so much to me. I have been so prepared for this surgery thanks to all of the great members of Obesityhelp.com. Without all your postings and profiles for me to research I would not be on my way to a new healthier life. Hopefully, the next time I update my profile I will be on the losing side. Please keep me in your prayers! Good Luck to all my fellow surgery brothers and sisters!!

1/10/04
I just home from hospital. Surgery went smooth. Unfortunately I developed pneaumonia and my lung collapsed, so I had to stay a couple extra days. Other than that I am ok. I will write more when I can sit here longer! Thanks for all the prayers and get well wishes! Best wishes to all having surgery soon!

1/15/04
First, I want to start off by telling you about my surgery experience, since I have not been able to do that. Monday Jan. 5th I arrived at the hospital at approximately 5:30 am and they got me started on blood thinners. I layed patiently waiting for 7:30 am to come, which was my scheduled surgery time. Dr. C came in to see me and said that he was going to do the Laparoscopic and not Open. I was kind of releived. Then, Dr. Roth the anestiologist came in to see me and away we went down that long hall. I stopped and gave my husband hugs and kisses and cried my eyes out. I told him to please tell the kids I loved them and that was my last words. I then was pushed into the very icy cold operating room. I was moved to the table and strapped down. That is the last thing I remember before waking up in the recovery room in extreme pain! I was awake, but I could not focus on anything, which was freaking me out! It seemed like I was in Recovery forever. Finally, a very nice gentleman by the name of Dave and his co-worker came and transported me to my room. I was still very much under anestesia, but I remember them making me laugh so hard. So, then I arrive to my room and my hubby was waiting for me. I then began crying to him so bad that I hurt and couldn't stand it. I was in way more pain than I ever expected. I have had a C-section and that was bad, but this was a whole lot more pain!!! I felt as if a semi truck hit me in my left side. I was on a Morphine pump, but it didn't help much, but it did make me sleep. That evening I got up for the first time and sat in a chair and got very naseous. I am almost positive it was from the morphine, so I tried not using it so much. The next day I woke up and things were not any better. I was in as much if not more pain. The 2nd day was a very bad day for me!! Thank goodness for a wonderful lady by the name of Tiffany. She is a Program Director I beleive for the Midwest Bariatric Center. I am so sorry Tiffany if I have your title wrong. She was such a great support to me! I am so glad I met her. She came and seen me twice a day if not more. The third day was much better, although the pain was still there, but not as bad. I was told that my white blood cell count was up and I would not be able to go home until they got it down. So, they did some tests and chest x-ray and put me on some strong antibiotics. I was supposed to home on Thurs., but I had to stay until my white blood cell count went down. Dr. McCleod came in to tell me that they found pneaumonia on my left lung and it had collapsed. So, that was causing my infection. The good thing they found out what was wrong, the bad thing I couldn't go home until Sat. At least they figured out my shoulder and back pain. Fri. I got to start clear liquids and everything went well. I blew out my 6th IV and threw a crying fit and had them call Dr. C to see if I could start liquid meds and he agreed. So, I found out Sat. morning the my white blood cell count went down and that I could go home!!!!! YEAH!!!!!


I am 10 days Post-Op today. I am doing really good. So far, not bragging knock on wood, but I have had no major problems. I got my staples out and my drainage tube taken out on Monday. Boy, was that an experience. It was very uncomfortable to have the drain taken out, but it felt so good afterwards!!! I was no longer hunched over and felt so good. I lost 14 lbs at my 1 week check-up. I have developed a raging yeast infection from the antibiotics, but Dr. C. just had me stop taking the antibiotics and use Monistat 7 injection. I guess all the antibiotics caused it. I went to my nutrtion class today and was very excited that I can start eating real food on Monday (Pureed). I am so bored with popsicles and Crystal Lite. Well, I will update more soon! Good luck to all those having surgery soon!

1/25/04

I am getting better everyday. I think maybe because I just had a C-section 6 months ago my healing is taking a little longer. My incisions look great and you can hardly see them, but I am still so sore inside. I am starting to wonder if I have hernia, because I am having a pulling pain to the left of my belly button.I am so scared to call the Dr., because I am afraid I will have to go back in the hospital and I think my family is tired of helping me out. I know my mom is tired, because she comes and stays everyday from 7am-5pm when my hubby gets home. So, I am praying maybe it is just an adhesion or something. My weight loss has slowed down. I don't think I have lost anything in 3 days. I have such a messed up scale though that it is hard to tell. I'm hearing it is normal to plateau anywhere from 3-5 weeks out. So, I am not getting discouraged. I have not found a protein drink that I can handle yet. I am trying to get alot of protein out of my food, but I know it is not enough. I know I need it though, because I still have no energy. I'm hoping to start getting it back soon. Until next time, Good Luck to all of those having surgery soon!

2/6/04

I was 1 month Post-Op as of yesterday. I have lost 36 lbs.now and I am feeling great! I have went down from a size 28 in pants to a 24 already. I was so shocked! I must be losing alot of inches. The weight is starting to come off very slow. I get to start exercizing next week, so hopefully that will help. I am now able to get all my water in thanks to Crystal Lite. I haven't found a protein drink that I can handle yet though. I just can't get past the smell. I am eating some good stuff now. I have only dumped once and that was because I swallowed without chewing good enough. I will never do that again. It made my heart hurt! I thought I was having a heart attack. My husband and I took my oldest daughter to Disney on Ice on Wednesday and we had such a great time! I actually fit better in the seat! The only thing that was hard was smelling all the junk food (nachos, pizza, hot dogs, popcorn). It just about killed me! I wanted a hot dog so bad! I just drank my bottle of water and dealt with it. I can't wait til Spring so I can walk more. I will update more soon! Good luck to all thos having surgery soon!

3/14/04

I am now 2 months and 1 week post-op. I am doing fantastic! I am so happy I had this surgery. It was the best thing I could have ever done to improve my quality of life. I went from being a couch potato to never wanting to stay home! The only problem with that is I do alot more shopping, so I am spending alot more money! Doesn't make my husband very happy. Oh well! I am down to 280 lbs now. It's been years since I've been this weight. My parents have came around now. They are my biggest supporters, besides my husband of course. I was so depressed before surgery, because they didn't want me to have this surgery. I understand it was because they were afraid of losing me. Now that I made it through and I am doing great they are so happy for me! It makes me feel good when my mom tells me that my dad tells everybody about it. He is always bragging. I really need to hear that kind of stuff. I have always felt like a big disappointment to my parents, because I have always been a fat cow. Although, they NEVER made me feel that way. I finally feel like I am making them proud and that means alot to me. I am also very proud of myself! My birthay was March 11 and we went to the casino and I actually felt like guys were looking at me. Don't get me wrong, I am happily married, but it feels great to get checked out. Well I will update more another day. TIFFANY if you read this I hope you are recovering well from your TT. Let me hear from you girl! Good luck to all those having surgery soon!

4/19/04

I am now down 67 lbs. I finally broke down and bought some new clothes. I am down from a 30/32 top to a 22/24 and down from 28 pants to a 22/24. How exciting is that!? It really helped me to realize how much weight I have lost by going and trying on clothes. I came home from my shopping spree on cloud nine. I am very happy about the weight loss, but depressed about my sagging everything! I really didn't want to have plasctic surgery, but I am starting to come to the reality that it is going to be necessary. After the pain from the RNY I just don't want anymore surgery. As far as health, I am doing fantastic! I have had no problems! I definetely have alot more energy. I was chasing my son the other day and my neighbor said "oh my god I have never seen you run before". he,he So even other people are noticing. Well until next time Good Luck to all of you having surgery soon!

5/10/04

I haven't weighed myself in a week, but last time I weighed I was down 80 lbs.. WOO HOO! I absolutely LOVE to go clothes shopping now. I am down to a size 20 now. That is so exciting! I can stand in the mirror for hours now and look at myself. I am feeling great! The only thing I am kind of down about is my hair. I am losing it SOOOO bad! It is coming out in hand fulls now. I am trying everything to get it to stop. I am taking Biotin, Prental Vitamins, Come Back shampoo and I try to eat lots of protein. I hope it stops soon!! A few friends that I met through weight loss surgery and myself met for Dinner a couple weeks ago. It was so nice to talk with them on a social level. We are planning to do this once a month. If anyone is interested in meeting with us, just email me and I will give you the info. Well until next time, Good Luck to everyone having surgery soon.

6/8/04

Almost 100 pounds Down!! WOO HOO! I am trying to become a Century Club Member by July 5, 2004 which will be my 6 month Anniversary. The weight is coming off so slow now though that I just don't know if I can do it. I have battling beteewn 245 and 243 for a few weeks now. I am not exercizing yet though, so I am sure that would help. My hair loss has slowed a little, but I'm still losing it. I am in an 18/20 pants and tops now. I went shopping with my 7 year old daughter the other day and she made me feel so good. I tried on a pair of jeans and she begged me to get them. She said mom I am going to tell everyone you are my sister when you wear those pants!! I laughed so hard and I bought them of course. I also got over one of my biggest fears with my weightloss. I have always liked to go to the Stock Car races, but I hated climbing up the bleachers. I was scared they would break and I felt everyone would look at me like they expected them to break. Well, I went to the races Saturday and I climbed right up them like everyone else. I felt so damn good! My life is getting better everyday! Until next time, good luck to all of those having surgery soon!

6/30/04

I just have to say that I love the new Support Group on Tuesday nights at Little Company of MAry. Yes, it does cost $10., but it is well worth it. I have been dealing with some issues since surgery and meeting with Tracey (I'm not sure, but I think he is a psychologist) has really been helping me deal with some of them. I highly recommend everyone to at least try one of these meetings. I get so much out of them! SOme of my WLS surgery friends got together on Saturday. I played horseshoes for the first time ever! I loved it! When I was a big fat ass I never had the guts to do it. Good luck to all of you having surgery soon! The new picture below is me on the right. It was taken on Saturday.

8/12/04

Wow! It's been a long time since I updated! I have had alot going on in my life. Nobody ever told me how hard life was going to be psychologically after surgery. Don't get me wrong I am very happy with my weight loss I just have alot of other issues. Hubby and I have been having some problems, but we are trying to work through them. Problem is we were both very overweight before my surgery and let ourselves go. Well I took action on my end and had the surgery, but it hasn't been easy on my husband since he didn't have surgery. So, he has been slacking with doing his part in our relationship. He acts like he is 70 years old and never wants to do anything. He doesn't take care of himself anymore. Never wants to do anything as a family. So, we had a huge blow-out and let each other know how we feel. We want to save our marriage, so we have really been working on things. We have been doing so much more as a family. He actually took my son and they both got haircuts. He has been cleaning up more and caring more about his appearance. For the first time ever since we have been married we are going on a family vacation! So, things seemed to be headed in the right direction. Enough about my personal life. I am doing great with my weightloss. I am down to 226 pounds. I lose about one week out of a month now. My problem is that I never work out. I really need to start pushing myself. I have a treadmill now, so that is going to help. My hairloss has just about stopped, thank goodness! Until next time, good luck to all of you having surgery soon!

Today is my wedding anniversary. We have been married for 4 years now. Sure doesn't seem that long. I got bad news today. I found out I have to have my Gallbladder removed. I have been having alot of abdominal pain. Not just in my right side, but under my breasts right in the middle and in my back under my bra strap. I have been having attacks and I had a really bad one the other day and it freaked me out. It almost felt as bad as labor pains. I got real hot and nauseous to. So, I went to see Dr. Cahill and he sent me for an ultrasound. Where I am having my most pain is in my pancreas, the tech told me it was inflammed. So, Dr. Cahill's office called and said I have Gallstones and Dr. Cahill wants to do surgery first thing Monday morning. I ask if I could wait until Friday, so my hubby could take care of the kids. They said they would rather not, but it was up to me. So, I decided to wait until Friday the 24th. I just hope I don't have another real bad attack before then. They are no fun! So, until next time, good luck to all of those having surgery soon!

9/30/04

I am still alive!! My Gallbladder surgery went VERY smooth. It wasn't a bad surgery at all. I had surgery at 8am and was home by 3pm that same afternoon. I was terrified for nothing. I slept most of the day when I came home and when I woke up the 2nd day I was in quite a bit of pain. So, I just kept myself pretty doped up. I also had a bad time with being nauseous. I always seem to have this problem after surgery. I am not sure if it is the anestetic or the pain medicine. So, after day 3 I stopped taking the pain medicine and I started feeling alot better. Today is day 6 and I am going to see Dr. Cahill to have my staples removed. I can't wait, because they are really irritating me. I think they are over ready to come out. On a fun note, I am going to the Drag Racing Nationals at Route 66 Dragstrip tommorrow. I can't wait, because I know it will be so much more fun since I have lost weight. I won't be scared to climb the bleachers. I had this thing with bleachers when I was heavier. I am sure you understand. Well I must go and get ready. Good luck to all of those having surgery!

11/9/04

WOO HOO!!!! I finally broke this plateau I have been on. I have lost another 3 pounds. If I could just get under 200 pounds I would be so happy. I mean I am happy with my weightloss already, don't get me wrong. I am just aiming for under 200. Hubby and I went out for dinner the other night and we ran into some friends we haven't seen in over a year. They seen me and they just couldn't beleive it. They said "oh my god, where did you go??" They really couldn't beleive how much weight I lost. They didn't know I had the surgery and wanted to know how I lost the weight. So, they put me on a little high. I really felt good! My daughter competed in a Cheerleading Competition at St. Xavier college this weekend. She did so good! They actually placed 1st! I was so proud that I cried like a baby. I use to be so emberrassed to go to things like that with her, because I was so big. I felt bad for her that she had a fat mom! This time I was happy for her that she had a normal mom. Well until next time, Good Luck to all of those having surgery soon!

1/5/04

HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY to me!! Well it has been 1 year today since my surgery. Life is so great! I am down 133 pounds. I would like to lose at least 50 more pounds, but I am really going to have to work hard at it. The weight doesn't come off so easy anymore. I have decided to step up my work-out a little. I love running, so I am going to start running a little more. I am also lookign for a plastic surgeon, so I can start checking into a TT. Until next time, good luck to all of those with upcoming surgery dates.

2/21/05

Dr. Cahill had a dinner/dance for all his patients last Thurs. Feb 17th. It was really a good time. I wore a dress for the first time since my wedding almost 5 years ago. It didn't take a bunch of drinks for me to get on the dance floor either. A couple times me and a friend were the only ones on the dance floor and it didn't bother me a bit. It was very nice to see everyone looking so thin and dressed up. I met my Angelette VERA in person. She is such a beautiful Lady! I feel so blessed to have met her. I even got to see a couple of old friends that I haven't seen or talked to in a long time. They both looked REALLY good! I really missed them, so it was nice seeing them. One of them is my surgery sister. She and I had a falling out over something stupid. I wish it would have never happened, but it did and you can't change the past. I just hope maybe we can put it behind us one day. She has been having alot of complications and I would like to be there for her. I do care about her alot. So Lisa, if you're reading this "I love you like a sister!" Please call me if you ever need me!

I am doing real well. I haven't lost anymore weight at all. I have been battling with 3 pounds. I go up 3 and down 3. I ran into a personal trainer that gave me her info. I think I will be going to see her. It is actually a really good deal. It is $120.00 for 5 weeks. She use to be a trainer at Lifetime Gym in Orland, but she is now working in a smaller Gym in Lansing. It is a little drive, but that's ok. I really, really need a trainer. Hopefully, that will help me to lose the last 40 pounds I want to get off. I went from a 30/32 into a 14/16. That is great, but I want to be a 10! I will do it! Well until next time, good luck to all those having surgery soon!!

5/11/05

WOW! It has been awhile since I updated. I guess because I haven't been doing so well with my weightloss and I am quite emberrassed. I haven't lost anything in a very long time, but the good thing is I haven't went up anymore than 3 pounds. I go up 3 and I come back down. I have realized that my honeymoon phase is over and I really need to use my tool now. I realize that I am very lucky for being fortunate enough to have this surgery. So, I have vowed to kick it in high gear. NO MORE CARBS!! I have increased my water intake and I am trying to get more protein in. Exercize is kind of a bad word to me, but I realize that without it I am not going to reach my goal. I am still having problems psychologically with my weightloss. I can now fit in clothes at Old Navy and other normal ladies stores, but when I go shopping there I still don't feel like I don't fit in. I feel like the salespeople are looking at me like keep dreaming fat lady. I know that is not the case, but I can't get over that feeling. I look in the mirror and I still see a big fatso. I just wish I could get over this feeling. I have had so much going on in my life that I haven't had much time to focus on me. My son was just diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. Although, I knew something was wrong it was still a big blow. He will be fine though, I know it. I want to send a BIG hello out to all my old surgery brothers and sisters. You know who you are!! I miss you very much!!!!! Until next time, good luck to those with upcoming surgeries.

6/22/05

Well, I did the dreaded and gained 6 pounds. So, instead of getting myself down about it and eating the pain away. I have decided to work harder at losing more. Afterall, eating is what got me into this mess in the first place. I have been looking into Plastic Surgery, so I want to be done losing most of my weight before I take the big step. I found out from my surgery Angel Kathy that our insurance will cover most of the Plastic Surgery. SO, that is pretty exciting. I am thinking about Arm Lift, Thigh Lift, Tummy Tuck and MAYBE a Boob Job. I have totally lost my boobs and I don't like it. My kids have been keeping me super busy. My oldest daughter is playing Softball. She is a pitcher and is really good. Since I never played sports growing up I have been learning alot about softball. My middle son is doing really good since he started school. We have seen alot of improvement in him. He loves school which makes things alot easier. He is going to start Physical Therapy in August since he has low muscle tone. It should help him alot with his clumsiness. I think my gaining weight had alot to do with being depressed after finding out about my sons disability. I have lifted myself out of it though. He is a perfect little angel and there is no reason to be depressed. My baby girl is going to be 2 years old already in 3 weeks. It just doesn't seem possible! She is SO smart! Talks like she is 5 and has her mom's attitude! I can't say that is a good thing. LOL Well until next time good luck to all of those with upcoming surgeries. Hello to all my old friends whom I miss dearly!!!!!

1/11/08
WOW!! It has been a super long time since I have updated. It has been 4 years since my surgery. I am doing great!!  I went through a low point last year and gained back between 20-25 pounds. It was very depressing. I started working about 9 months ago and have managed to lose 16 pounds without even trying. I still would like to lose at least 30 more pounds, so I am going to try and work harder at it since the weight has started falling off again. I am so happy I had the surgery. It turned my life around for the better. I am able to work an 8 1/2 hour shift with no problem. I keep up with my kiddies to!! My 10 year old daughter plays traveling Softball, so that keeps me very busy. Plus, my 6 year old son has Autism and I take him to Therapies 3x per week. Not to mention my 4 year old daughter. She is a handful!!! Well, until next time, good luck to all those with upcoming surgery dates. PLease feel free to contact me anytime if you need to talk or have any questions!!

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
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