Eric S.

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Well, I just began yet another new job. I guess the best things happen when you least expect them. I got a call from a recruiter, and long story short, I am working for IBM making DOUBLE what I was making before :P And it's still close to home!


I uploaded a new face pic and also made it my avatar. I will look through the camera and see if I have any decent full body pics, or maybe I will have my wife take some new ones of me. The weight loss has slowed, but it's mostly due to the madness that is my life now. I am grabbing the bull back by the horns and taking charge. I am joining a softball team, and the wife and I are getting new bikes with the tax refund coming next month. Life is looking up.

Eric

I haven't been here in a while. I got a new job and I just have not had the time to visit this site at all.

Yesterday was 6 months for me. I am not sure exactly how far I am down. I will weight myself at the tomorrow, as I have made that my official scale. At my best guess, I am down about 115 pounds. My last weight in was at 309, which was 113 pounds down from my start weight. I am really excited about getting under the 300 pound mark for the first time since high school.

I will log on again this weekend and hopefully post some pictures and have an official weigh in.

Eric

Well, today is my 3 month mark from surgery. I am down 76 pounds (my best estimate). I have probably had the easiest first 3 months anyone could have from this surgery. I have had no adverse reactions. I am eating everything, just in smaller quantities. I met my buddies last night and ate pizza right along with them, just at a much slower rate and much less of it.

I love going to the gym. I have gone 3-4 times a week (mostly 3) since being cleared to go about a month out. I go with my neighbor on the weekends, he is my lifting buddy. He is a former Division I football player, so he knows what he's doing. I feel much stronger, especially in my upper body, and I am just getting to the point where I can jog a bit during my cardio workouts.

Everyone has been telling me that I look great. It has taken me a while to get used to it, and it still makes me uncomfortable. Now, though, I am able to smile and thank them for their kind words instead of fidgeting around and getting embarrassed.  My new goal is to lose over 100 pounds by my 5 month mark. That is about 25 more pounds in 2 months, and I think I can do it.

Eric

I don't really have another place to vent this. My best friend is also very good friends with my wife, so I don't really feel comfortable talking about this to him, so this will be my forum to get things off my chest.

My wife and I had a serious "discussion" last night, if you want to call it that. It started with her laying in to me about my career, and our family's fiscal security (which is fine). We don't have any debt other than a car payment and a mortgage. It all started with me taking this new job, which is a slight pay cut. She berated me about how everyone else our age is moving up and making more money, and I am content with making less money. That is true, but commuting over 100 miles a day has really taken its toll on me over the last 8 years.

Then, she branched off and started telling me everything that is wrong with me. One of the things that I am guilty of lately is have a quick temper. Something about this surgery has taken part of the nice guy out of me, and I realize that and am working on it. The discussion then gets to the point where she says that I am selfish and she isn't sure if I can make her happy anymore. That was a shocker right there. I admit to being selfish lately, but I have to be. This surgery is my last chance to get my health in order, and I can't waste it. She thinks that is just an excuse.

Point blank, at the end of the conversation, I told her that deep down I know we can get through this. I said that I still love her and that I want to work on our marriage. I think we both take each other for granted, and we need to stop. She said that she isn't sure that she was willing to work on our relationship. I have already forgiven a few major (in my book) discretions I have caught her in, and now I don't know if it's worth it.

What's a guy to do...

Eric
 

***UPDATE**

We have worked out our differences, and we are both making an effort to change some of our bad habits. It's going ok so far, could be better, could be worse.

The day that I went in to negotiate with the people a few weeks ago, a recruiter called me. He asked if it was ok to submit me for another position in that same town. I said ok.

Fast forward 2 weeks. I turned down the 1st job. They were jerks. I get a call from the recruiter saying that the other place wanted to interview me. I go in on a Friday morning, have lunch with the owner and senior System Engineer (my position) on Saturday, and I get an offer on Tuesday. The pay and benefits were better than the job I turned down, and the company seems like a great place to work.

I turned in my 2 weeks notice this morning, and that was hard. My boss is a great guy... heck, everyone here is great. The proposition of cutting my drive down from 100 miles a day to less than 20 was just too appealing.

Eric

So I went to a couple doctor's appointments today. When I saw the M.D. associated with my wellness center, he said I was doing great. When I told him I wasn't feeling hungry or full, he said that it was normal to not feel hunger, but that my full feeling must be more subtle than I'm used to. He said, "Well it's working, and you didn't have the willpower to stop eating prior to surgery , so I'm sure you are getting the full feeling." So yeah, he pretty much said I was lying cause if I had willpower I wouldn't have gotten fat...

As the appointment went on, he asked more questions about my eating. I told him that I have to portion out my food in order to stop eating, but that when there is an endless supply of food, it's hard for me to stop. I will keep eating mindlessly until I force myself to stop. I think by the end of the appointment, he realized that I really don't get full, and that all this time I have just been making myself stop eating, which is really hard for me, and kind of the reason I had surgery...

He told me that it wasn't normal to not get full. I kind of figured that. Now what happens when the hunger comes back, but the full feeling doesn't?

I am at 359. I have been working out 3-4 times a week. I ramped up my cardio on Saturday to 25 minutes, although on Sunday I only did 15. I have also been sticking to my lifting routine. I am actually thinking about jogging now, so I need to find a good route and drive it to see how far I want to go.

I won't lie, I really thought that the weight would be coming off faster than it is. I am eating well for the most part, although the weekends are a bit higher in fat and carbs than the weekdays, but nowhere near what I was eating before. I was a bit low on protein on Saturday, and noticed that I was feeling really grumpy and run down. I drank a protein shake and felt better.

I went to my Goddaughter's birthday party yesterday, and some people said some nice things to me about how I looked. I still don't know how to take it. Every time I get complemented I feel very insecure and not sure how to respond. I guess with the weight coming off, I have to get used to it.

Eric

My current weight is 361. 360 was the lowest weight I have been since I can't remember when. I got down to 360 doing the Atkins diet, and it worked well for me for a while. I maintained it for about a year, before life slapped me in the face and told me that I can't avoid carbs for the rest of my life.

I am very curious to see how I change as I drop under 360. I am guessing that I was somewhere around 320 or so when I graduated high school. My first goal weight where I think that I would really be happy is 250. I have always been a stocky, athletic guy, and I don't think 250 would look bad on me at all. My ultimate goal is 220, but as long as I end up somewhere between 220-250 I will be a happy guy. I can't wait til the day arrives that I break the 300 mark.

Eric

I went and spoke with the office manager about what concessions they could make. She got back to me the next day. Not only did they not budge on the salary, they stuck to the 1 week of vacation they offered as well. So, all in all, they didn't budge one bit. And on top of it all, here is an excerpt of her reply to me in the e-mail that said they were not going to concede anything:


I spoke with the Manager of the Department and he is pretty firm with the offer.  He also said that when someone starts a new job/career they expect to lose vacation time.


Now that pissed me off. I replied to her stating that I think my counter was more than fair, and that what I wanted was still a 20% cut in pay for me and is about 30-35% below the going rate with someone of my skill set. On top of that, I was not starting a new career, and if the position I was being hired for was a position that needed previous work experience, such as this one, that I should not lose vacation time.

Oh yeah, obviously I turned down the position.

Eric

So first, the good news. I got offered that job I interviewed for a week ago. Now the bad news, it's a 30% pay cut.

I spoke with my wife briefly, and she made it seem like we couldn't do it, financially. I don't know about that. I am putting a lot of money right now into my 401k and savings that I could cut back on. Plus, the biggest thing is the commute. Right now I am spending over 2 hours a day commuting over 100 miles each day for work. This job is only 15min away, and the little driving I would be doing for the job is reimbursed.

I calculated out how much time I would save, and it came out to 21 days each year. 3 weeks of my life I could get back that wouldn't be spend in a car. I called them back and asked to come in and speak with some people there to get more information on advancement / raises / benefits. We'll see how that goes. I don't think my wife realizes that spending 2-3 hours per day in my car is not how I want to spend my life.

Eric