Elpitha

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7 September 2006
Well, I am back in the swing of things now that school is back in session.  I find I forget to eat.  Fine with me because that means I am forgetting to snack.  I eat when other people do and that is in the morning with my step-daughter in my classroom and at lunch with some other teachers.  I am still very lucky in that I have been able to eat what ever I want.  (I haven't tried anything with sugar.)  But Wednesdays are chicken fried steak day...it's baked, not fried so I tried it.  I eat about 1/4 of it and a few bites of mashed potatoes.  I can't do the corn at school...too painful.  I think it's over cooked.  I've thrown up twice at school (after lunch) but only when I think I ate too quickly. 

I'm averaging 3 pounds a week.  That's not bad and I am very pleased with that.  The school nurses have started a wellness program for the whole school where we weigh in every week, report on our physical activities (exercise) and they keep track of measurements.  I went in to weigh the other morning and I was at 208.  I protested!  I know exactly what I weigh because I weigh myself every morning and my scale is matched with my surgeon's scale.  I was then told that the scale is about 6 pounds too heavy.  I was okay with that.  As long as the scale measures a loss, it's cool.

I find I CRAVE fruit.  That is what I want to eat when I eat.  I don't crave pasta and breads anymore.  They're too much trouble.  I think I crave the fruit because I don't take my vitamins like I should.  I don't get the protein I should; and I don't drink my water like I should.  The only one I am worried about is the water.  I feel (when I go potty) the effects of too little water...but I've ALWAYS had a problem drinking water.  My surgeon and his nurse practitioner say not to worry about the others.  So, I try to eat a well balanced diet and go from there.  I never eat until I am full...I always stop before and I think I am doing just fine.  No hair loss.  I feel tired lately, but I think that's from the antihistimines I have been taking for all the stupid mold that grows in this southern swamp in southern Texas.  Blech.

I am so happy I did this surgery.  It has been the best decision I have ever made. I'm almost under 200 pounds and I KNOW I'm going to be sucessful and that has given me more cofidence than anything else.

PS-- I've gone back to karate.  I'm going to be a black belt before the end of the year.

9/22/06
I went to a church meeting this evening and saw a number of people I haven't seen in a few months.  I got a number of compliments.  They made me feel very good.  So good in fact that my husband made me take a picture.

24 July 2006
Well, I am down 25 pounds today.  I am very pleased since the week before I hadn't lost anything.  However, I wasn't drinking all my water.  My ankles were incredibly swollen.  I went to girls' camp for a week where some of the girls taught me how to do the breast stroke and freestyle swimming correctly.  WHAT A WORKOUT!  And, it's a workout I enjoy.  I really dig reading Harry Potter on the treadmill, but swimming works my whole body and I really dig it.  There is a gym in town that has two lanes for lap swimming and I joined it yesterday.  I don't really feel a difference in the weight yet, but my clothes are fitting better.

I ate a piece of thin crust pizza last night with veggies. No problems as long as I chew, chew, chew, chew.  Food at girls' camp was pretty easy, too.  The only meal I couldn't eat something from the line was the morning we had pancakes.  There is just nothing in there I could have yet.  I miss bacon.  I have been rather fortunate with the foods I have tried.  I have followed what my doctor's instructions have been almost to the letter.  I am really enjoying eating fruit again.  I have eaten quite a bit of water melon since being allowed fresh fruit.  I figure that soft fruits are okay on the pouch.  If I try an apple I will definately peel it.

I am so pleased so far.  This has been the right decision.  I rarely get sick, and I am not cheating.  I'm going to make it!

5 May 2006
I started walking today just to get into the habit.  I know one day isn't a habit, but you have to begin somewhere, right?  I did two miles in 45 minutes and my goal is to either get the time down or distance up.  I can do it, I just have to keep up with it.  I haven't had a soda since my counsultation and I'm darn proud of myself for that.  I'm trying to get my water in, but it is just so hard.  I've had almost a quart and a half today.  A little more than a month and I'll have a fraction of the stomach I used to!!  YEA!

May 29-June 7
I went to Europe with 13 of my students and 8 other adults.  We had such a good time.



We had such a good time and the kids were so good that I will not hesitate to do another in two years.  Here are some things I am looking forward to on the next trip:
1. Sitting in an airplane/train seat withOUT my hips touching the arm rests.
2. More energy for the walking
3. SHOPPING and finding clothes in Europe that fit. (esp Italy!)
4. More energy
5. Being in pictures (I avoided the camera this time)

This trip did kill some time before my surgery, but I'll admit, I'm more excited about my surgery. (I had already been to London, Paris, and Rome.)

9 June 2006
I just bought a big cannister of whey protein with no sugar.  I plan on mixing it with everything I eat for a while.  I am so scared of losing my hair.  I just returned from Europe where I was able to share new experiences with some of my students and I said farewell to many different foods.  I may or may not miss them, but losing weight is so much more important to me.  My feet swelled to bad and I have never had this problem before.  Also, I noticed how uncomfortable the plane seats were.  There were so many cute clothes I wanted to buy and I couldn't because of my size.  Well, when I take more kids back there in 2 years I will be set.  I am so excited.

Surgury is in 4 days.  Sometimes I wish life had a fast forward button.  Though I am so scared that I'm going to get a call telling me something went wrong and I can't have it.  I might just die if something like that happens.  I am not scared at all, just excited.

4 DAYS!

18 June 2006
Well, surgery was about as I expected and all went well.  I wasn't too prepared for the gas, and that made things very uncomfortable the day after surgery.  However, the next day was much easier and I went home without event.

I am five days out and apart from the gas in the hospital, today has been the hardest.  I know I have to drink and I know I have to eat protien, but today everything made me feel nausiated.  Anything we have in the house that was okay for me to eat simply made me want to gag. 

I lay around for a few hours and skipped church because I felt light-headed.  Finally, this afternoon I decided that walking made me feel better in the hospital, I'll try it now.  Hey!  It worked.  Not only that it got my intestines in gear and doing their job.

I sat back down again and I knew it was time to eat something.  I don't get hungry yet and my head-hungar, SO FAR, is easily controlled.  Again, the protein shake, broth, and soup just didn't appeal to me.  So, I made my husband take me to the grocery store where we stood in the dairy section for a long time looking at yogurt.  I can have it if it is free of fruit and nuts.  We finally settled on Dannon Light 'n Fit and when I got home and dug in...it had little chucks of fruit.  So, I decided to take little bites and suck the yogurt off the fruit and spit the fruit out (there isn't too much.  This is the first thing all day that has tasted good and gone down rather easy. (I did force down a protein drink earlier today.)

How long does it take to figure out if a food makes you dump?  I finished my yogurt 5 minutes ago...will it be immediate or will it wait a little while?  How do I know if I am safe?

4/27/2006
I got my date today!  I was so happy I cried and then I ran down the hallway at school to tell the secretary and a parent volunteer, then I called my husband, and then my mother.  The date is June 13, 2006.  Less than a week after I get home from Europe and 5 weeks before girls camp.  I can do this.  I went to group tonight and two men there had had the surgury in the past week and they said it barely hurts at all.  I've had gallbladder surgury and so had one of these men, and he said it was a lot easier than the gall bladder.  Good.

I am so excited.  I'm sure the fear will set in soon, but I have yet met a person who regrets their decision.

3/2/06
I heard from the sugeon's office yesterday and Dr. Marvin won't accept me as a patient because by BMI is not high enough.  I'm 38.4 and I need to be a 40.0!  So, the surgeon who is out of network accepted me and the surgeon who is in network didn't.  Figures.  I have an appointment next week with a different surgeon and I have the names of two other surgeons in Victoria I may check out.  There would be considerably less traffic going to Victoria versus Houston.  I may consider that. 

3/12/06
Well, I went to Dr. Nowzaradan last Thursday and he talked to me and told me a bunch of stuff I already know because I went to the seminar somewhere else.  I filled out a bunch of papers they had borrowed from the group I have already gone to and I wondered why I didn't just make copies.  I asked him if April was too optimistic and he said no, as long as the insurence comes through.  Great.  We've had so many problems with them with my husband's accident...I'm still very hopeful, but also a little discouraged.  I have to call them in about a week and check with them.  Can I wait a week?  Yeah, I'm going to have to.  Meanwhile, I'll fill out the paperwork for the other surgeon in Victoria and fax that in just to see what happens.  Hey, at Dr. Nowazardan's they measured me at 5'5" and I didn't slump. I think that affected my BMI and their scale weighed me heavier (though my home scale weighs me the same; I've been checking) so maybe I'm closer to 40.  It's sad that I'm so close that only a few pounds matter.  I'm still praying all will go the way I want...God doesn't always agree with me, though.

3/29/06
I am going to see a different surgeon tomorrow.  I have appointments all day with psychologists, group meetings, the surgeon, and a nutrition class.  I haven't met with the surgeon yet, but I feel much more comfortable with this clinic since it specializes in bariatrics.  I like the fact that I have to take a nutrition class.  I WANT this to be successful.  I am so ready for a change.  I just hope I can fit it into my schedule when I want it.  I'm so impatient.  It has to be 2 weeks from now or not until August.  We'll see I guess. 

3/31/06
I LOVE DR. MC DANIEL!!  I had a slew of appointments yesterday beginning with a nutrician class.  I was glad for this because they answered many questions I had about what I should eat, how, and when.  Then, I met with Dr. McDaniel and his staff. I was so impressed.  His Nurse Practicioner is wonderful and very warm and friendly.  He made me feel very comfortable and like he knew what I was going through and that this is a scary process but something I want more than almost anything.  Then Mary, a woman who worked, in his office came in and shared her story as she was a patient of his.  She, too, was very understanding and supportive.  When I saw Dr. McDaniel the first question he asked me was, "Do you think you are too healthy to have this surgury?"  I scoffed and he said, "Have you been told that before?"  I smiled and nodded my head.  He assured me that if I were ready emotionally that I would be the best candidate and a low surgury risk.  I was so happy.  Especially when the therapist told me that she thought I was a good candidate for the surgury.  YYYYEEEEEEAAAAA!

I am so excited.  I have come to terms with the fact that I will have to wait until after school is out tho have the surgury instead of in a few weeks.  I don't mind because I am really happy with Dr. McDaniel and his staff.  It is also a much easier drive to Victoria than all the way into Houston in all that traffic.  I ended the day with a group therapy session which was quite interesting.  I will try to go to that once a month at least.  I am so excited.  Now I just have to wait to get approved.

2/21/06
Well, I found out that Dr. Thomas is not and in-network doctor so I'll have to go with Dr. Marvin after all...if he accepts me as a patient.  OSS told me that if all goes well with the insurance and April surgery date is perfectly doable.  YEA!  So, all I have to do now is wait for Dr. Marvin to review my file and hope that he accepts me as a patient and then pray that the insurance company won't be a bunch of butt-heads. :)

2/26/06
I still haven't heard from the surgeon.  I called them at 4:30 on Friday, but I'm sure they wanted to go home.  So, I'll call them Monday after I get home from work.  I'm getting very anxious.  Blah.

2/19/06
Well, I've been keeping up with my water and doing pretty well. I have almost quit drinking soda; only one glass on a special occasion. I'm trying to control my snacking and I've got myself on a pretty good schedule at school. 2nd period I eat an apple, 3rd period I eat some oatmeal and then I bring and eat a pretty good lunch. From what I learned at the seminar, I'm doing OK.

I went to the seminar yesterday, but not with Dr. Marvin. He had to go out of town unexpectedly. So, I met with Dr. Thomas. A few thoughts on the seminar:

I liked it. Many of the people who work in the office have had the surgery and that is encouraging. I liked Dr. Thomas, though it seemed at times he underplayed some things that are a real concern for some people such as after-surgery maintenance. He also ignored his cell phone after announcing that he knew it was the hospital about a patient release. He should have answered his phone the first time; not the fourth.  It would have made me feel like he was really concerned about is post-op patients…even during a seminar.

The first thing they told me after determining my BMI was that I don't qualify because I don't have other morbid conditions. I assured the nice lady that I had a note from my primary care doctor and my insurance requires no conditions. Then I went into the meeting where another woman who has gone through the process was having everyone introduce themselves. She gave us more background information on herself and thanked those who were there to support the rest of us because she went through it alone.

Here's where I brag on my husband. He is completely supportive, but also a cautious voice of reason. He was there, by my side, giving me support and advice.

Then, Dr. Thomas came in and described the surgeries to us. Well, he talked me out of the LapBand. I will have more success with the bypass. Dr. Thomas mentioned that many of his patients become very fertile after the surgery and have healthy babies. I would just need to wait until my weight loss is complete. I can do that. Most people were there seeking the LapBand but I've changed my mind. I've actually been thinking about that the past few weeks but I'm so scared of such a major, permanent change. But, if I'm going to do something so drastic it better work. There's just too great a chance of failure with the LapBand.

Jimmie, my husband, began talking about how he would have to change his cooking in order to help me and stated it could help him live the lifestyle and lose weight himself. I've already made some of the changes that are necessary and the others aren't that important to me. I don't care if I can never eat a steak again; I've already given up soda; I've been eating three meals a day; and, I don't eat food that makes me ill. The Lapband offers too much freedom. I can make the changes, but the bypass will force me to continue to live them.

I am excited and scared and full of hope. I hope the insurance covers me and it isn't a long and drawn out process. I am ready to be healthful in my lifestyle and heathy as a person. Do I need to wait until I have diabetes and high blood pressure? Should I wait until I have sleep apnea? I'm only 238 pounds and my BMI is only 38.4 which is comparitivly small to the others who were there. But I've tried for ever so long and I want to catch it before I am completely out of control.

I went to the OB/GYN last Monday. I told him that I was thinking about the LapBand and asked him if he thought that it would hurt my chances of having a healthy baby. He said the LapBand would be okay because it doesn't inhibit absorption of food. "But," he said, "have you tried Xenical?" He said I may want to try a less intrusive method so I filled the prescription and I'm trying it.

Along with the Xenical I've really tried to increase my water consumption; I even bought a cool new water bottle hoping it would inspire me to drink. It has and I have done very well this week. I also have tried to cut out eating so much junk. I've lost 5 pounds so far. I know that most of that is water weight but I am encouraged. I'm going to have to follow an eating program if I get the surgery so I should start now, right?

The Xenical is doing some interesting things to my body. I suggest reading the side effects and preparing for them. I had some accidents this week; the oily stuff is hard to control.

So, I'll go to the Seminar this coming weekend and see what Dr. Marvin has to say. I may decide against it and continue with the Xenical for a while. The nurse at my OB/GYN told me about her experience with the LanBand back in 1999 and it wasn't good. But my friend's mom had the procedure done in Mexico and she has very few complications. I'm going to wait an see.

 I was very down yesterday. I just feel so bad about myself. I know I am capable of so many things but I feel so inhibited physically. I have signed up for Dr. Marvin's seminar scheduled 2/18 and I don't feel like it can come too soon. I know it is too optimistic to get the surgery during spring break, and probably even Easter break, but I still have a hope. I have so much to do in the summer...

I've been reading other people's blogs and some of them are VERY helpful. Jennya B's blog is so honest and it really made me think about what I was thinking about doing to myself. I'm thinking about MAJOR surgery and will cure the mental and emotional reasons why I am overweight. Jennya talked about being completely full and wanting so badly to eat the food she was preparing for her family. I want this procedure because I think if I feel full I won't overeat anymore. Is that unrealistic? I know I can follow the post-op program...I have lived a healthful lifestyle before. I just think it would stick if there were a physical necessity to continue.

So, I'll just keep reading information, praying, and attend this seminar and see what happens.