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Well...went to the hospital this morning got in the pre-op room with a bp of 174/104....I have never had such a greater feeling of this is something I should not do.  Something inside of  told me not to do this....so I cried....talked to my husband and niece....cried some more....talked to Dr. Diaz and I still had that feeling!!!! So we left!!!
Here is my plan...I am going to give myself 6 months of truly trying to lose weight and if I can't then I know the surgery is for me, and if I can then I will become healthier!!

So what did we do today...went to the Y and walked on the treadmill and eliptical and did some circuit training and I started a food log and I am going to go and see a dietician!!!!

My biggest fear was that I would disappoint people...so sorry if I did...but I did what I thought it was the best for me and my family!!!!

Tomorrow is my surgery!!!!.....and I am scared to death!!!!
Dropped the kids off....cried, and cried some more!!!
I really want this done, but I just am really scared about the unknown of what the future holds for me!!!!
I just really want to be healthy and be there for my kids and my husband!!!!
I know I am rambling.....I do that when I am nervous!!!!!!!
Well I will see you all on the other side....the losers bench!!!!!

Had my pre-op testing yesterday!!!  Barrium is YUK!!!!
Getting really excited and really more nervous not just about the surgery but the rest of my life!!!!

Spent all day at Brittany's swim meet, sorta kept my mind off the surgery for a while.  I go for pre-op tests tomorrow.
Not much to say today...ready to get this done so I can start the rest of my new life!!!!

1/10/09
Well it is 9 days until my surgery, and  I am still not losing any weight!!!  I guess that is why I am having RNY!!!!  I am excited but really nervous.  I am a nurse, so I know a little too much for my own good!!!  If anyone has any words of wisdom...please let me know.  I can't wait to get my new life started!!!!!

And any prayers will be greatly appreciated at 12 noon on 1/19/09