Diane W.
My story is no different than anyone elses. I'm obese. I have an eating disorder and it's called Glutney. They want to put a lable on it called something norvosa but unless I hit it head on with the truth, I'd be fibbing to only myself. I don't know really how I let myself get to this stage. I always wanted to do something in Jr High and HS..and that was track. I told the teacher I wanted to run the 50 yard dash. She laughed in my face and told me I couldn't because I was too fat for that. Growing up around cousins and trying to fit in when they played was aweful! I was always told, "You are to big, you can't play" for piggy back rides or wrestling on the floor or whatever. My Grandmother wouldn't even let me sit on her couch. She would always tell me, "Sit on the floor and let your feet hang over"...
Grade school I remember them calling me out of class to go to the nurses office. They told me to stand on the scale. I was told I was fat and I needed a shower (uh I showered every day). So they loaded me up in the car, took me home and as my Mom sat in the chair, me standing by her ( can still see the look on her face ) they told my Mother they were taking me away from my family. She was an unfit mother allowing her daughter to be as obese as she was. They set up an appointment with their doctor and I went. It was cold that day so I had on a heavy coat. He didn't even let me take it off. He looked at me with a look of disgust on his face. He listened to my breathing (through the heavy coat) and told my Mom, "She's just fat, but the good news is, she doesn't smoke) We went home. Guess that was enough to satisfy the nurse at the school. So all my life, I've been told, "your fat"...so needless to say I've kept up with the image of what and who they said I was.
I started researching a "quick fix" to end this wild roller coaster of diets and junk I was on all the time. Dexatrim, slimfast,cabbage soup diet, fasting, weight watchers, shacklee, whatever. Whatever weight I did lose it was back within a week.
About 8 years ago I looked into Surgery for weightloss. I had a good job, my husband had a good job and we had awesome insurance. I had a consult with Dr Vollenger (spell) in Charlotte. It went really well. The ball started rolling and I only needed $1000.00 in all to get the RNY Lap...I was so excited...I could save that much in a short time. One day I went to the mailbox and there was a letter from my Mom and Dad. To my surprise there was a check for exactly $1000.00. I didn't tell anyone what I needed. It took me a couple of hours to call her because I couldn't stop crying. The memo at the bottom of the check said, "To a new life" and the letter stated that it's not all the time a mother can give life to a child twice. I didn't know what to do...Here my Mom was in the fight of her life with ovarian cancer and she's thinking of me and my health. Then the bombshell, I got laid off my job so there went my insurance. My husband then the next week got laid off his job. So no insurance, no surgery. My Mom passed away 8/29/04 and I used the money to go stay with her for 3 months. Up until she passed away. So it's been 5 years now and I might get my miracle yet. We have temp custody of my great niece and nephew and we had to get medicade for them. They allowed one of us to be put on with them so I chose my husband. Only because he's on ladders and roofs and other high places all day long..lol He's done using it and we have the kids longer now so I am going to put myself on it and see if I can't get this surgery. Wish me luck, say a prayer, but I want to be beautiful and I want to be the right kind of loser.
