Donna R.
Two months out from TT
Jun 11, 2007
I had yet another f/u with my PS last Friday; I have this persistent little tiny, and I do mean small, like half the size of a pencil eraser, right where my verticval and horizontal incisions meet, that refuses to heal. It is from my body's odd reaction to those darn disolvable stiches. I had the same problem with my shoulder surgery and with my hysterectomy. But it is finally almost closed now. What does this mean; it means a BATH people! A real, honest to goodness bath. Fully submerged! And it means swimming! I really can't wait :>)
I also can't even tell you how pleased I am with Dr Hing's work; my tummy is smooth adn flat, and my upper abdomen is absolutely gorgeous! I am a size 8! And that includes a tiny bit of swelling that still remains! I couldn'tbe happeir about it and would recommend him to anyone. I intend to have my breast lift done sometime in the next year and expect that he will use the same amazing attention to detail for that procedure that he did for my TT.
All in all, life after ps is good :>) The down side, if you can call it that, is buying new clothes is expensive! Wow, what a problem huh? In AA we call those high class problems :>) I am extremely grateful for all I have and all that dr Hing has done. I am also grateful that my insuranc ecovered this procedure and for the support of my partner and physicians, family and gyn.
I also can't even tell you how pleased I am with Dr Hing's work; my tummy is smooth adn flat, and my upper abdomen is absolutely gorgeous! I am a size 8! And that includes a tiny bit of swelling that still remains! I couldn'tbe happeir about it and would recommend him to anyone. I intend to have my breast lift done sometime in the next year and expect that he will use the same amazing attention to detail for that procedure that he did for my TT.
All in all, life after ps is good :>) The down side, if you can call it that, is buying new clothes is expensive! Wow, what a problem huh? In AA we call those high class problems :>) I am extremely grateful for all I have and all that dr Hing has done. I am also grateful that my insuranc ecovered this procedure and for the support of my partner and physicians, family and gyn.
A little bit whiney...
Apr 09, 2007
but not too much :>) I ended up staying in the hospital until Sat., 4-7-07, and was very grateful that I could stay. The pain wasn't all that bad, but the part that was scary was that my ps tightened me so much that I could hardly get a breathe the first couple of days. Even now, it's still pretty painful to take a deep breath. I can't even believe that this is my stomach! It's so tiny and flat! It actually makes me look like I have a waist!
I have 3 drains, and while I can tell there's some swelling, it's not too bad. My first post-op is Wednesday, 4-11-07 and I hope they will take at least one of them out.
I can't stand up straight yet, and don't think I'll be able to for a while, that is a bit scary for me too. But I have to trust that things will heal and change in the next few weeks.
Glad to be home, grateful to have an amazing caring partner who is taking very good care of me, and waiting to see what the new and improved, flatter me, will look like.
OH! And I almost forgot...I got a new belly button too!
I have 3 drains, and while I can tell there's some swelling, it's not too bad. My first post-op is Wednesday, 4-11-07 and I hope they will take at least one of them out.
I can't stand up straight yet, and don't think I'll be able to for a while, that is a bit scary for me too. But I have to trust that things will heal and change in the next few weeks.
Glad to be home, grateful to have an amazing caring partner who is taking very good care of me, and waiting to see what the new and improved, flatter me, will look like.
OH! And I almost forgot...I got a new belly button too!
Shame about ps and WL???
Mar 22, 2007
Okay, on top of everything else, what I cut from the original post about this topic completely disappeared. That is maddening.
So let me see if I can cut thru the crap and re-write this:
Kidhood, not so good; incest survivor, crazy family, both parents alcoholic and drug addicts, although extremely high functioning so for the most part, ignored. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager, and alternated between those methods and the numbing approach of drugs and alcohol. Moved out at 15 and really never lived with either parent again. Started college at 16, got clean, married at 17, son at 18. Fast forward to today - I'll mention the highlights so there is some perspective at least; me- alcoholic and addict, clean 26 years and 16 years in 12 step, deeply spiritual, MSW in chem dep and mental illness, and as my buddy Bernie would say, a million years in therapy. I have a son who is happy, healthy and a great guy. I have an ex-husband who's a decent man and I have a wonderful partner of three 1/2 years. My life is blessed and I am very fortunate. Along the way to this life, I gained some weight and then gained some more.
About 3 years ago, after some very serious health scares, I decided to get off my ass and try and find my hip bones again. I weighed just over 200 pounds. I joined WW and it took me until this last fall to lose the weight. I made lifetime in December and have maintained my weight for about 6 months now. I've lost a little more, but basically have stayed about 153-155.
Along my WL journey I had the opportunity to sort thru all the ways that food and fat worked for me emotionally, socially and sexually. I looked at how it felt protective to me and what it would be like as I lost weight.
But recently I have been having these miserable waves of shame come over me. This is something I haven't felt in a very long time. There were some amazing ways that food and sex and eating and shame and body stuff all got rolled together that for many years felt really uncomfortable. That hasn't been the case for quite some time.
So what happened? As near as I can figure, because despite being a therapist by trade and having a wonderful process that works in my life (12 step) I think I'm just to close to my own crap to get clear right now...hitting lifetime meant I get to eat more now that I'm not so focused on losing. After almost 3 years of pretty controlled eating, that feels a little out of control. I know that can trigger some shame . I am finally just 2 weeks away from my tt, something I have wanted for SO long; and I find myself lying about why I'm going off for surgery and feeling really hinky about food. SO what the hell am I feeling bad about myself for? Is this more crappy deservability stuff coming up? I.e.; I don't deserve this good thing? Or more body stuff about being attractive or desirable? arrgghhh... my gut says a lot of it is the deservability issue.
help please
So let me see if I can cut thru the crap and re-write this:
Kidhood, not so good; incest survivor, crazy family, both parents alcoholic and drug addicts, although extremely high functioning so for the most part, ignored. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager, and alternated between those methods and the numbing approach of drugs and alcohol. Moved out at 15 and really never lived with either parent again. Started college at 16, got clean, married at 17, son at 18. Fast forward to today - I'll mention the highlights so there is some perspective at least; me- alcoholic and addict, clean 26 years and 16 years in 12 step, deeply spiritual, MSW in chem dep and mental illness, and as my buddy Bernie would say, a million years in therapy. I have a son who is happy, healthy and a great guy. I have an ex-husband who's a decent man and I have a wonderful partner of three 1/2 years. My life is blessed and I am very fortunate. Along the way to this life, I gained some weight and then gained some more.
About 3 years ago, after some very serious health scares, I decided to get off my ass and try and find my hip bones again. I weighed just over 200 pounds. I joined WW and it took me until this last fall to lose the weight. I made lifetime in December and have maintained my weight for about 6 months now. I've lost a little more, but basically have stayed about 153-155.
Along my WL journey I had the opportunity to sort thru all the ways that food and fat worked for me emotionally, socially and sexually. I looked at how it felt protective to me and what it would be like as I lost weight.
But recently I have been having these miserable waves of shame come over me. This is something I haven't felt in a very long time. There were some amazing ways that food and sex and eating and shame and body stuff all got rolled together that for many years felt really uncomfortable. That hasn't been the case for quite some time.
So what happened? As near as I can figure, because despite being a therapist by trade and having a wonderful process that works in my life (12 step) I think I'm just to close to my own crap to get clear right now...hitting lifetime meant I get to eat more now that I'm not so focused on losing. After almost 3 years of pretty controlled eating, that feels a little out of control. I know that can trigger some shame . I am finally just 2 weeks away from my tt, something I have wanted for SO long; and I find myself lying about why I'm going off for surgery and feeling really hinky about food. SO what the hell am I feeling bad about myself for? Is this more crappy deservability stuff coming up? I.e.; I don't deserve this good thing? Or more body stuff about being attractive or desirable? arrgghhh... my gut says a lot of it is the deservability issue.
help please
