Maggie M.
The first time I applied for Gastric bypass I was denied by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas. Now I'm fighting with Social Security trying to get approved because my health is suffering from my weight. You would think they would understand that being Fat your WHOLE life is going to takes it's toll on your body. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo. It's ok screw them I'm doing this on my own!!
3/5/04 Today I called 3 offices about getting more information on how much everything is going to cost and 2 of the offices were so GREAT to me!! One of the offices I called, the lady who answered was so mean to me. I hung up after talking to her for a minute, and realized even though I'm trying to do something about my weight I still get treated like a second class citizen. What's wrong with this picture I was calling to try to get information and she made me feel like I was nothing. Why do people do that:oS oh well tomorrow is another day and I did find 2 doctor's offices that were more than willing to help me through this long process. I thank the 2 ladies that were so nice to talk to me!! I know both of them were extremely busy. One of them even had to call me back, but they were great.
4/5/04 Well I couldn't sleep so I decided to do a little updating. I have picked a surgeon and I have my first appt. April 14 with Dr. Oakley. Although I'm still not sure how I'm going to pay for the surgery I'm going to follow through with this and hope that God will take care of me. It seems that he always has in the past so I'm going to try and put my trust in him. I don't know what more I can do. I hope everyone is well and good luck to all who are having surgery soon. Until next time........
4/13/04 It's been a few days since I last updated and I wanted to write a few things in here...Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr. Oakley and I'm still going to go, although I think I have changed my mind. I'm having this OVERWHELMING feeling that I should go to Mexico and see Dr. Aguirre. I can't explain it. I have been emailing him and he is so nice and everything I have read about him is EXCELLENT!! My whole family is having a COW, but I have decided that I need to take some control back and do what I need to do rather than let everyone decide for me. My Mom is the only person that is supporting this decision. Which is strange because she is usually the hardest sale. My boyfriend is trying to be supportive, but he has said that he doesn't want me to go to Mexico either. I informed my Mom that my goal is to go to Mexico in June even though it's going to be hotter than hades, and I still have to figure out how I'm going to pay for it. I just like the fact that Dr.Aguirre is willing to communicate with me even though it's only through emails. I'll write some more later. I wish I knew how to make this pretty like everyone else has done with theirs, but I'm not that smart so it just has to be boring black and white. Good Luck and many blessings to all of you having surgeries soon.Until next time.....
4/15/04 Well yesterday I had my appointment with Dr. Oakley and he is VERY nice and exactly what I expected. He talked with me for probably an hour. My concern is that he feels that I should have DS instead of RnY. I have researched having RnY for 2 years and I need this surgery to take care of my Reflux and also for the dumping. I know that sounds crazy to want it for the dumping, but my problem isn't over eating it's what I eat that is the problem. I have scheduled another appointment with another doctor for a second opinion as my father is still having a very difficult time accepting the fact that I want to go to Mexico for surgery. So I have promised him that I will go to this other doctor and see what he says. I still can't explain wanting to go to Mexico, other than to say that the doctors staff has been very informative and extremely nice to me thus far. And my goal is to somehow have this all done and taken care of by June. Anyways I have to get ready to go so I hope everyone is doing well and good luck and many blessings to those about to have surgery...Have a great day!
4/28/04 So Monday I had an appointment with another surgeon about my surgery and he was very nice! I really liked him. Although something is still pulling me towards Mexico. When I got home from Boise I emailed Dr. Aguirre and made sure that he still had a surgery date open for June and he emailed back saying that he did. Today I talked it over with my Mom and I'm still not sure how I'm going to pay for it all, but somehow God has always taken care of me and I'm hoping this time won't be any different. I emailed Rosella and asked if I could still have the June 30th date and she said I can. So the date is set. I'm almost in shock. I can't believe this is actually going to happen. I've waited sooooo long and I want this so bad!! I've just finished reading Barbra Thompson's book and it sounds strange, but I think reading it gave me the courage to push through all the trials and tribulations and get this stuff rolling instead of just talking about it. Marc (my boyfriend) is going to hate me for the next 2 months cause it's all I can talk about now, and I'm sure it's all I'll be able to talk about until I come home. I'm so excited and scared and anxious. Like one big ball of nerves. I'll be so surprised if any of this makes any sense when I reread it! LOL. Oh well. I think I'm done for this update or I'm just going to ramble on and on and on. Much love for all and God bless those having surgery soon or who have had surgery. Until next time.....
5/5/04 Well as everyone knows I have scheduled my surgery date for June 30th. And I am still one big ball of nerves but I am also soooooo excited. Tonight I emailed with Rosella and told her that we wish to stay in Dr. Aguirre's apartment because it has a full kitchen and internet and a sofa. We are going to be staying for around 9 days I think. Thats the plan right now. My Mom and I talked about driving down or having Bambii pick us up in San Deigo and we aren't sure what we are doing yet. I guess as the time gets closer we will figure it out. The only draw back to driving is we have to find Mexican car insurance but I don't think that will be to much of a problem either. I knew God would take care of me and I totally believe in the power of prayer. So while everyone is praying for me maybe you could include a friend of mine who is having problems finding the money needed to go to Mexico. I know how hard the struggle is and I am very blessed to have the support system that I do have. If it wasn't for my Mom and Dad I don't know where I would be. They are the best and have always been there for me no matter what it was that I needed. I do have a great boyfriend too even though I'm not totally sure he understands why I'm having this surgery. I just think he worries that something will happen. Anyway I better get to bed I have been staying up way to late lately. Much love to everyone and God bless those that have had surgery or having surgery soon. Until next time...
5/14/04 Well it's 1:30am and I should be in bed as I have to work in the morning, but my Anxiety is running on high and I can't seem to get my tummy to calm down. I have officially been smoke free for 4 longgggggg days and I'm glad I quit, but it is very hard. Whoever said it would be easy is a Liar!!! Oh well I promised myself that I would be smoke free for more than a month before surgery and I'm very stubborn so I don't plan on smoking at all. Today I got the tickets to my party so hopefully I can sale enough of them to pay for surgery. Also Alpine Jewelers was Awesome and donated some earrings for my raffle. Now I have to write a letter for donations and I'm having a REALLY hard time as I have NEVER asked anyone but my family for help and support. It's already hard enough that my friends are planning this party and they are giving me the money for my surgery. I'm blessed to have these people in my life I just wish that I was healthy and didn't need their help. I guess you could say that I'm way to proud. On the other hand I'm praying to God that I make enough to pay for the surgery. It's a scary feeling when everything is up in the air and you are depending on other people for help. I don't like NOT being in control of my own stuff, but my family and friends think I need this surgery and their help so I need to be a big person and accept. Thanks for letting me get that out!! LOL Hopefully I will be able to sleep now. God bless all those who have had surgery or are about to have surgery. Until next time...
5/18/04 WOW things are moving right along except I am completely neurotic. I'm not sleeping and I'm tired all the time and I can't seem to read enough about the things I want to know about after care. Oh my lord the list goes on and on. I have not smoked in 8 days...I think this is part of my problem. I did manage to do some house work today (which has suffered since I found out my date for surgery). My life is consumed by my thoughts of surgery. I'm not scared of surgery, I'm scared I won't have the money or that something will happen to me after surgery!! I know I have said this before but I'm going to say it again...I am so lucky for the support I have, everyone has been great about helping with my surgery fundraising. Talk about STRESS I have NEVER asked anyone outside my family for help and to actually ask strangers for help is VERY humbling. I'm not doing so well asking...I wrote out a letter and my sister has been great about asking people to support our Raffle. My friends have been great about organizing the party. I probably would have never asked if they hadn't volunteered if that makes any sense. They were already planning stuff with my Mother before I was told about anything. I love them all so much, they are trying to help give me a life. I don't think any of them understand how important this is to me. I don't want to be the fat clown of the group anymore, I don't want people to stare at me when we go out to eat anymore, and I don't want my family or my friends to have to do things especially for me because I'm heavy!! I want to be able to work full time again and not be breathing heavy when I have to wash someone's hair. I probably have a whole list of things I want to do and I need to get them all written down. Oh yeah and GREAT news my Dad found a job closer to home...so while they are still in Houston for the next couple of weeks I have my Mom running missions to find stuff that I think I will need for surgery. It's all stuff that I can't find here. WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO and it's only about a Month and a week and I will be in Ensenada. How exciting!! Anyway is it 1:20am (go figure) and I really need to get to sleep. Thank you for all the words of encouragement that I have received from everyone. Many blessings to those having surgery or have had surgery!! Until next time....
5/27/03 Well in exactly one month I will be almost to Ensenada since I have to be there on the 29th. I'm so excited, but in all the excitement my best friends boyfriend has convinced her that I'm not going to come home from Mexico. WHAT IS THE DEAL?!?!?! I don't need any bad karma. I tried to explain to her that I will be fine. I'm not scared. I would have surgery tomorrow if I could. Anyways, I went to my regular doctor yesterday for a blood work up so that Dr. Aguirre has something to compare to, and I told her that my Paxil is giving me strange side effects. We talked about all the side effects and she told me to wean myself off of them before I have to have surgery that way I don't have to worry about the side effects and surgery. I have clonzepam if I have anxiety so I'm sure I'll be fine. Why is that when you are doing fund raisers everything that can go wrong does? My friends are hosting a partying and the people who donated the club are trying to back out now a week before the party. I'm so nervous. I just pray that it will all work out. The raffle is going well. I've received all kinds of donations everything from a Brand new Gun LOL(I know nothing about guns) to gift certificates for everything you can imagine. I should be working on my paper today. I need to edit my own article for this month and finish typing two other people's articles. I guess I should go so I can do that. Many blessings to those who are having surgery soon or who have had surgery. Until next time...
6/1/04 OMG it's the month my surgery is in. I'm excited but I can't say that my anxiety is any better. I had some blood work done to make sure all my levels were good. What levels I have no idea. But the nurse said everything looked great. Even though one of the tubes clotted and she had to redraw that one. Anyways I thought I would reprint the article that I wrote this month for my Paper. It makes me feel better to read it knowing that it will have a happy ending.
*** So I have decided not to reprint My article in here because it is sooooo long. So instead I'm putting them on my new webpage. The address is at the top and you just click on my picture on the left and it will take you to "My Journey".
There's my article hopefully other's can read it and find some strength knowing that I have struggled just as much as someone else and keep fighting for the surgery they want!!!
***While in Chat this evening I decided I was going to start the Pink Power Super Weight Loss Hero, and anyone who was having surgery I would send them Pink Power!! What a great idea. I make myself laugh, but I'm going to do that so don't be surprised if the Pink Power Super Weight Loss Hero pays you a visit in your messages!!!;o )~
6/8/04 I am sooooo tired. I wish I knew why. Anyway as a writer for the paper I have to go to some awards ceremony on Friday night because we got nominated for trying to make a difference...could and should be interesting since I will be the only straight girl at a table full of gay men LOL. Then we have a parade in Boise on Saturday and then a parade on Sunday in Salt Lake City, Utah. Time is rushing by but still going extremely slow if that makes any sense. I can't wait to just leave on the 25th I'm excited. 22 days until Sugery
6/20/04 I have 10 days 10 days before surgery HOLY S***. I can't believe it is so close. My Anxiety is off the charts, I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I'm trying to figure out what I still need to buy and what I already have. I wonder if the Apartment has a microwave?? I have a small one that I could pack if it doesn't. We have decided to stay until the doctor can take out my staples and Jackson pratt because my Mom thinks it would be better for him to look me over and see how everything is doing. Did anyone feel like their fat was suffocating them?? I think maybe it's my anxiety. I think I'm going to try to eat alot of salad and drink alot of apple juice in the next week and flush my system. It's been a while since I last posted WOW. Things really have been hectic. Saturday was the drawing for my Raffle and it was great!! I have about a third of the money that I need and will be taking out a loan for the rest. Which is ok. I don't have 10k laying around. I wish my fund raisers would have done better but I can't be MORE THANKFUL that we raised what we did. I have the best friends a girl could ask for. Everyone has been so great and without the love and support of those people this surgery would be possible for me. I love them all sooooo much. Today is Father's Day and my Dad is all alone because my Mom is trying to help me get ready to go. I know he understands but I feel guilty and sad because I wish he were here instead of having to work. But he has said he would do anything for me to have surgery and working is what he has to do. I love them soooo much. Words will never be able to explain how much that is. Oh god why am I so emotional too. Geez it's like a roller coaster. I need to get out of here. ***PINK POWER*** to all those having surgery soon and many blessings. Always ~Maggie
6/25/04 Well we are actually leaving tomorrow HOLY LORD I can't believe it is finally this close. I am off all my anxiety medicine except the Clonzepam and that is just because I haven't been able to calm down the last couple of days. My nerves are going crazy, my Anxiety is running on high as is my blood pressure. I was really worried about my blood pressure but my PCP doesn't think it's anything to worry about since surgery is so soon and I'm leaving the country. Basically she said it could be a number of factors. I'm sure Dr. Aguirre will check it when he get to Mexico. We are just going to take it easy getting down there, Tomorrow we will drive to Las Vegas wooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo I love Vegas. Stay the night there and then continue on our journey Sunday and drive to San Diego and stay with my Great Auntie. I just love her so we'll have a nice visit and then Monday when we wake up we'll continue to Ensenada. I was hoping that our cell phones would work there but Sprint doesn't even roam there. So basically we have cell service through California and then after that we will be calling out on our phone card. So if you need me I will probably be checking email tonight and then again on Monday when we get to Mexico. Wednesday is Surgery so if you wish you can email my Mom at [email protected] and she will let everyone know I'm ok. ****PINK POWER**** to all having surgery soon. Many blessings to those who have had surgery. See you on the Loser's side. Always ~Maggie
6/28/04 HELLO ALL from beautiful Ensenada. I arrived today with my Mom. It´s been an adventure to say the least. EVERYONE here has been sooo nice. I met Dr. A and Rosella today (awesome people). I´m so thrilled that I came here. Tomorrow Bambi is taking us to the Blow Hole and then I will come back and have my appointment with Dr. A. And then surgery on Wednesday. I know now that I´m here that I wouldn´t want to be anywhere else for surgery!! I hope I get to see Canéla before she leaves. I did get to meet Peggy. She is a wonderful person and she and her husband explained lots of stuff to me. I hope she feels better soon. I´m sending her my ***Pink Power*** in hopes that she recovers quickly. Tomorrow hopefully I will get to see Lisa as well. I can´t say enough about the people here. They have been wonderful. I will explain more when I get home. I will say that we met a nice Hispanic Construction worker named Ramón and he helped us sooo much. ADVENTURE is what he set out in search of and boy did we get it HOLY Hannah. Anyway Many blessings to all those about to have surgery and may my ***Pink Power*** bring you an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. Always -Maggie
July 4th, 2004 Today I am post op on my most favorite holiday, and I am very happy about that, but I miss my family a lot. I only have 4 more days here and I love it here but I wish I was at my house with my family for the BBQ´s and then the fire works tonight, but thats ok next year. Today is the first day I can eat anything and man was I sooooooooo hungry. I woke up took a shower and did the cleaning of my nasty vile bile bag and got my guaze put back on and then I decided to try some of the sugar free jello my mom had made for me. OUCH it didn´t sit to well in my little tummy I don´t think. I mean I didn´t get sick but my tummy was just a little upset. Geez I guess it couldn´t be cause it hasn´t had any food in 4 days either. Just thought of that. Right now I´m trying some Vanilla yogurt and I´m just basically licking the spoon so I don´t eat to much and I´m eating with a baby spoon. My mom and I are going to walk to the park today and see what´s going on if anything and I want to take some more pictures. I think my Mom is just as home sick as I am, my sister emailed and said her Dog just whines for her and my niece said I have been gone too long. So hopefully the 4 days will fly by without a hitch and we will be home in two shakes of a stick. Oh yeah did I mention that I love the Doctor and Rosella. Awesome I don´t have enough space on this page to tell you how much I just adore them. I had a great experience here in Ensenada. I mean there was some communication problems and I did take a sleeping pill lol, but for me this was the best place for me and I believe that with all my heart. Thank you for all my friends and family who have stood by me in this process. It´s been a process but everything in life is. Much love and all my ****PINK POWER**** to anyone who needs it. Many blessings. Always Mag
July 11th, 2004 I feel almost as if I've had a rebirth sounds strange but I can't think of any other way to explain it. I suppose I should talk about my adventures in Ensenada. Not that they were so different from anyone elses. Although my mom and I chose to drive and we did pay for that!! LOL. We got to the out skirts of Ensenada and our car totally gave up and died right at a stop light in front of construction sight. Can you say Embarrassing. A VERY good looking man that spoke English came over to us and asked if we needed some help and we told him about the car and that we didn't know how to call a tow truck. We found out from the guy he sent out to help us (Ramon) that the other man was the Architect building the house they were working on. Ramon helped me call Rosella and she was soooo funny. I told her I was there but that my car had broken down and we needed a tow truck and she said she would call one. We waited and waited and waited and Ramon would run out in traffic and try to get one of the tow trucks just driving to come help us but that didn't seem to work either. Finally after two hours we got towed to Dr. Aguirre's office and then to the apartment. It was so funny, at the moment I'm sure that I didn't think it was that funny but it was either a laugh or cry moment and I just chose to laugh. We got all settled in at the apartment and Bambi stopped by later in the evening to tell us that Rosella had called him and thought we might want his assistance. We did. I wanted to go to La Bufurdora. So early the next morning my Mom and I got up and got ready and waited for Bambi to come and he was right on time. He is sooooo awesome. He took us and helped carry all my bags (as I was a shopping fool). We took pictures and he then took us to his Mother's beach house where we got to meet her. She is beautiful and funny. I took more pictures of the beach from her back yard while she and my Mother talked. It was a great day. We were going to go see the sea lions but my Mom and I were soooo tired that we decided to have Bambi take us back to our Apartment so we could rest before we had to meet with Dr.Aguirre. We got up and walked to the office (Ensenada has the HUGEST curbs) I know I almost tripped. I am a klutz. Anyways we got to the Doctors office early and sat and waited for just a few minutes. Rosella came out and we laughed about some stuff and then she took me to CardioMed so I could have my blood drawn and they could take a urine sample. The bathroom is so small. LOL. I did it fine though I guess. My mom and I went up and saw Lisa and she wasn't feeling to good that night but we talked to her and told her we would see her in the morning. We then went and saw Dr. Aguirre and he joked with me and told me all the stuff he tells everyone else about the risks and the pictures and stuff. I promised that I wouldn't have stanky feet in the morning for surgery LOL. It was so funny. My mom and I took a taxi back to the apartment because I was a little tired from the walking all day. The next morning the taxi was there and I went in and the nurses wrapped my legs and I got to see Canela,then Dr. Gomez came in and shot me up. He asked if I was ready and we walked and laughed to the Operating room. I laid down on the table and he asked if I was ready for the party and that was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in my room. I think I asked my Mom if I was still alive and of course I am. The hospital stay was pretty uneventful other than one of the nurses did come in with a sleeping pill and I took it!! My Mom FREAKED out because I took it, she said Dr. Gomez I took the pill. Well I shouldn't have taken the pill lol. Dr. Aguirre was there the next morning BRIGHT AND EARLY lol. He told me I shouldn't have taken the pill. But I'm fine. It all worked out and it was actually very funny to look back on. The hospital for me was very boring, the first day they wouldn't let me get out of bed because of my size. I was suppose to rest but I would much rather have been up walking around. The next day Gilberto (I think that's his name)my favorite nurse anyway came in and helped me get up to take a shower and I got cleaned up and went for some walks around the 2nd floor. You can't go to far so basically I just walked in a little circle. Everyone came to visit me and I was so happy to see people I wanted to go home I was ready but they wouldn't let me. I had to stay that night and then the 3rd day they finally let me go home that morning and I was ready. I guess it wasn't really morning more like early afternoon. Dr. Aguirre informed me that I had a big liver Not to be confused with a fatty liver because I thought that's what he was talking about but it turns out that since I'm so tall my liver has grown to accommodate my size. I went back to the apartment and rested and walked up and down the porch thing. I was so thirsty, I wasn't but I just really wanted to take a drink. Anyways I waited until the next day for water and then the next day for any food. And I kept walking every so often up and down the porch. Ensenada weather is AWESOME and it was about 70 degree's the whole time so like 2 days after I got out of the hospital I walked down to the park and checked out what a Sunday is like and the people are so amazing. It was great. Going back to the apartment is a little more difficult because even though the hill doesn't look uphill it is. And you can feel it. Monday we just rested and Rosella came again to visit me. She is so awesome everytime she would come over we would just laugh and laugh. Tuesday we went walking again and went to the little market across from the park it was interesting how something so small could have so many business' in it. That evening we met Dicey she is so funny. We told her of our journey and that she would be EXCELLENT and that we would see her in the morning at the hospital. I also told her that we would leave some food for her because we just didn't need all that we had brought. She left with Bambi and I got in bed excited that my staples were going to be coming out the next morning. Oh well that was a great dream that all my staples would be out before I got home. Corina and Dr. Estrella came in and took out the first half of my staples and Dr. Estrella told me that I would have to keep the other half until I got home because they just weren't ready to come out. I said that would be alright with me. And then Dr.Gomez came in and saw me one last time before I left and he told me that I had to recognize him because soon he wouldn't be able to recognize me. I went in and saw Dicey before she went into surgery and she was feelin fine. (I knew she would do great)!! Anyway my Mom and I went back to the apartment and finished packing and we were both so homesick we couldn't wait to see Bambi in the morning. Thursday came early and Bambi was there again right on time and we had a great drive back to San Diego with him. We exchanged address' and maybe someday he will come to Idaho to hunt with my family. We rented a car and drove to Las Vegas and stayed the night at Sam's Town it was so funny there was a BBW convention there. And a woman asked us if we were there for the convention and my Mom told her NO we had just come from me having Gastric Bypass surgery. They invited me to stay for the weekend but I was already home sick and decided to come home the next day as planned. Friday was a very long day in the car but I have never been so excited to see home in all my life. Everyone came to see me when we got home that evening and I had to break open my shirt and show them my belly lol. I'm proud of that scar. Saturday I pretty much just laid around trying to recover from drive and when my Dad got here Saturday evening he took me to the races. We had a great night. That's where I'm at now. I'm home, I'm recovering nicely and I wouldn't trade my experiences in Ensenada for ANYTHING!! I had a great time and a great trip with people who couldn't have taken any better care of me than they did. Would I go again??? In a Minute!!! I loved Ensenda and the people. I can't wait to go back!
August 19th, 2004
OMG it has been so long since I updated my profile!! As of today I'm down to 423 which means I've lost 68lbs. since I had surgery. I can't hardly believe it. I want to be down 80lbs. by the end of the month. This has really been the only week that I haven't felt really well. I have issues with food this week and nothing is going down. It's alright because I've lost 68lbs. I did go to the doctor (before anyone freaks out) they did blood work, X-Ray's, and omg they poked me and did all kinds of mean stuff to me. They basically decided that my pouch is "irritated" and well there isn't much they can do but give me medicine for the nausea. Which is what they did. I have had this strange heart beat thing going on but they did check my heart too and they said it's fine so I'm wondering if it's my anxiety on the rise. I'm looking for a job that I can do with my Salon, because my boyfriend is moving out (which is for the best). I'm not happy with him anymore and I don't want to live like this. But I'm really ok with this. I want to be out and about in my new body and he doesn't understand how it feels to be new and feeling good!! I'm turning back into myself!!! It feels so great to be able to go to the gym and be out on the town. Anyways enough about me. Let me know how y'all are!! ****PINK POWER**** for everyone who needs it!! Take it. It worked for me and I hope that it will work for you.
2/28/04
WOW Since my last update alot has changed I suppose. I've rid myself of a boyfriend, had some complications, dated, had a few more complications (although nothing as serious as the ones in late August), been to Las Vegas to the reunion, and now I have a Great boyfriend and I'm still having minor complications. Geez where does a girl start. As of 2/14/05 I have lost a total of 219lbs. I'm not sure how I've lost so much but I'm so glad that I found Dr. Aguirre and Rosella!! Anyways I did and am still having some issues related to surgery! I suppose being young and having all my female parts is kind of the problem. Anyways I have had issues with bleeding and for about 5 months I've had 2 doctors trying to figure out how to regulate things because eventually I would like to have a baby and if they have to take all my parts out that wouldn't be possible. So again I go to the doctor tomorrow because I'm light headed and pretty damn tired. Hopefully it will have slowed down. It's insane I can't take much more I feel like I'm losing it. Losing this much blood makes you a little emotional and my poor boyfriend has had to deal with all of that. Sam has been great about trying to understand everything but it has to be hard when one minute I'm fine and dandy and then the next minute I'm crying. I keep apologizing but sooner or later that isn't going to be enough. He does worry about my health and thinks that I should start thinking about maintaining. I'm not really sure if I'm ready to maintain since I've never been this small or been skinny. But he isn't the only person that thinks that I'm getting a little small. I think I would like to lose maybe another 30 or 40lbs and then have my skin removed. Everyone thinks that I should just have my skin removed and I would be fine. I don't know. That would make me feel better because I hate to look at myself naked because of all the nasty skin. It's gross. Anyways I'm tough and I'll make it through this just like I've made it through everything else!! I hope everyone is well and I'm going to try to make it to the South of the border Chat tonight. ***PINK POWER*** to all those getting ready for surgery and those that just need a pep me up!!
6/26/05 This is the date a year ago when I left for Ensenada and the day my life would forever change!! I can't stress that my WHOLE life has changed EVERYTHING. In 4 days it will be one year since I had surgery with Dr. Aguirre and I owe him so much. He changed me. It's like a rebirth on that day or something, I'm not exactly sure how to even word it. I thank god everyday for the life I lead, and most of that is because I had the greatest doctor.
I have officially lost 270lbs as of 2 weeks ago. I should go weigh in again, but I always fear that the scale will stop going down. My family feels like I should be done losing, but it has become a bit of an obsession for me. I'm not sure if anyone else gets like this or not. Maybe part of it is because I'm getting married in a week. One week exactly from today, July 3rd. Wow reflecting back on the last year is crazy. When I went to Ensenada I had been dating the same guy for 2 years and never wanted to get married. When I got home from Ensenada I told that guy that I couldn't be with him anymore. I met Sam just before Christmas because he was one of my hair clients. He asked me out and 7 months later we are getting married. We just bought a house and I'm trying to get us moved in before his family gets here Friday. I must admit I have bitten off a little to much to chew, but hey what are you going to do. I'm so excited I can't stand myself. It's like the feelings you have right before you are getting ready for surgery the anticipation is killing me. I can't wait. I'm going back to Mexico for our Honeymoon, but this time we are actually going to Cabo San Lucas...I tried to talk him into Ensenada but he wanted somewhere a bit more tropical. That's alright with me. I hope everyone is doing well and if you have any questions please feel free to email me. *****PINK POWER***** was one of the best things that happened to me. And always remember that where there is a will there is a way!! I've learned that a few times this year!! ****PINK POWER****to those who need it. God bless.
