Laura C.
I had been thin my entire childhood and adolescences. Really thin. So when I went away to college and gained 60 lbs in 6 months I didnt know what the hell was happening.
My mom was concerned too. We went to see my family doctor. He did an exam and said "you have Stein-Leventhal Syndrome. (Now called PCOS). You will struggle with your weight your whole life and if you get pg it will be just by luck and sent me out the door. I was 19 yrs old and devastated. At the time of course, it was more about my weight than future children.
In 1991 I was 170 lbs on my 5'1" frame and decided if Oprah can do Optifast so can I. I did it and lost 35 lbs in a month. But I also got sick. As in sick in the head. I was obsessed with food. Not what I was eating but what everyone else was eating. I would make these huge elaborate meals for my XH and then just sit there and watch him eat. I would ask him what he had for lunch and I wanted every detail as if I was getting satisfaction of eating through him. Then I started not even eating the Optifast supplements. I worked in the lab and would have my blood draw prior to any medical appointments and run the tests myself. If something was low, like uric acid or potassium, I would drink a couple of shakes to get my numbers up so no one would know I was basically starving myself.
Luckily, I finally realized what I was doing. I had gone from being obsessed with food to obsessed with my weight. I stopped the Optifast. And of course I gained it back plus some. I was then 180.
My XH told me that the problems in our marriage were because I had gained weight. SO I was a compulsive fad dieter. Jenny Craig check, have a lifetime membership, Richard Simmons deal a meal check, Susan Powter Stop the Insanity check, Weight Watchers check, Atkins check, Nutrisystem check, Trimspa check. You name it I have probably done it.
Slowly my weight climbed to 200 lbs. I didnt care. I was divorced and making alot of money in my career what did it matter. Then I met the love of my life. He didnt care that I was overweight and we stayed fat and happy together.
In 2003 after almost 14 yrs of trying to conceive, 4 IVF's, I got pg. It was miserable. I threw up the whole time. But while pg with twins I lost 30 lbs! The day after they were born I weighed 170lbs. I thought this was great and would be my motivation to keep it off and keep losing. It didnt work that way.
In 2005 I was up to 213 and my doctor agreed to lap band. But I had an HMO at the time that required I lose 10% of my body weight and keep it off for 6 months. But the trick to that was as soon as I lost 10% of my weight I was no longer over a 35 BMI and wouldnt qualify for surgery.
So fast forward to 2007. I am at 230 lbs. One of my twin girls has a genetic disease that causes tumors to grow in all the major organs of her body. We have spent the last 2 yrs fighting daily seizures and my health was not the priority. In October 2007 she had 2 brain surgeries to stop seizures and remove some tumors in her brain. It was at that time I decided I had to get better for her. She is going to need me for a long time.
So here we are talking about RNY. I am excited and scared to death. My husband and my mom are very supportive.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/cassidyconway
