donnasowa
I GUESS I WAS MEANT TO DO THIS ALONE
Dec 21, 2006
What the heck is a blog anyhow???
NOUN: A weblog. intr.v.
blogged , blog·ging , blogs
To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a weblog.
I NEVER THOUGHT THROUGH THE YEARS THAT I WOULD BE THIS AGE, RAISING KIDS ALONE, WITHOUT A PARTNER. IT NEVER ONCE DAWNED ON ME THAT CHARLIE WOULD ABANDON HIS KIDS. I TRUELY BELIEVED THAT HE WOULD STICK BY THEM FOREVER. BE A DAILY PART OF THEIR LIVES AND BE AT LEAST A CO-PARENT, TO HELP GUIDE THEM THROUGH LIFES TOUGH LESSONS. HELP THEM THROUGH BULLIES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS IN THEIR LIVES. PUBERTY, BROKEN HEARTED TIMES, 1ST BOYFRIENDS FOR SAM AND GIRLFRIENDS FOR CHARLIE. I THOUGHT HE WOULD TEACH HIS SON TO BE A MAN. I AM NOT A MAN, HOW DO I TEACH MY SON TO BE A MAN?
I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE THERE FOR THE HAPPY TIMES AS WELL. THE BAND CONCERTS, CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYS. HE HAS NOT ATTEMPTED TO BE A PART OF ANY OF THESE OCCASSIONS.
I GUESS THE RED FLAG SHOULD HAVE BEEN SEEN WHEN HE CHANGED AS FAR AS HOW HE TREATED MELISSA AFTER THE KIDS WERE BORN. I HATED HIM FOR THAT. I DON'T THINK MELISSA EVEN REMEMBERS MOST OF IT BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO FORGET ANY OF IT. HE WAS A GOOD STEP-FATHER TO HER UNTIL HIS OWN KIDS WERE BORN. THEN HE SEEMED TO RESENT HER BEING AROUND. HE ACTED AS IF SHE WAS IN THE WAY. I BATTLED WITH HIM ABOUT HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS HER, WITH NO AVAIL. I COULD SEE THE HURT IN HER EYES WHEN HE WOULD SAY THINGS TO HER. EVERYTIME HE DID-IT WAS LIKE STABBING ME IN THE HEART. TIME AND TIME AGAIN. MAYBE THAT IS WHY I DO NOT TRUST MEN AND WON'T LET ANYONE GET CLOSE TO ME. I TRUSTED CHARLIE AND HE HURT THE MOST PRECIOUS THING TO ME, MY CHILD.
NOW, HE CONTINUES TO HURT MY OTHER CHILDREN, HIS CHILDREN. HE DOES NOT BUY THEM CLOTHES OR FOOD. HE DOES NOT PROVIDE SHELTER FOR THEM. HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING.
AGAIN....... I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD BE HERE, AT MY AGE, FEELING LIKE I HAVE BEEN DECEIVED BY ONE THAT I ONCE WAS SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH AND TRUSTED WITH ALL OF MY BEING.
NOUN: A weblog. intr.v.
blogged , blog·ging , blogs
To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a weblog.
I NEVER THOUGHT THROUGH THE YEARS THAT I WOULD BE THIS AGE, RAISING KIDS ALONE, WITHOUT A PARTNER. IT NEVER ONCE DAWNED ON ME THAT CHARLIE WOULD ABANDON HIS KIDS. I TRUELY BELIEVED THAT HE WOULD STICK BY THEM FOREVER. BE A DAILY PART OF THEIR LIVES AND BE AT LEAST A CO-PARENT, TO HELP GUIDE THEM THROUGH LIFES TOUGH LESSONS. HELP THEM THROUGH BULLIES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS IN THEIR LIVES. PUBERTY, BROKEN HEARTED TIMES, 1ST BOYFRIENDS FOR SAM AND GIRLFRIENDS FOR CHARLIE. I THOUGHT HE WOULD TEACH HIS SON TO BE A MAN. I AM NOT A MAN, HOW DO I TEACH MY SON TO BE A MAN?
I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE THERE FOR THE HAPPY TIMES AS WELL. THE BAND CONCERTS, CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYS. HE HAS NOT ATTEMPTED TO BE A PART OF ANY OF THESE OCCASSIONS.
I GUESS THE RED FLAG SHOULD HAVE BEEN SEEN WHEN HE CHANGED AS FAR AS HOW HE TREATED MELISSA AFTER THE KIDS WERE BORN. I HATED HIM FOR THAT. I DON'T THINK MELISSA EVEN REMEMBERS MOST OF IT BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO FORGET ANY OF IT. HE WAS A GOOD STEP-FATHER TO HER UNTIL HIS OWN KIDS WERE BORN. THEN HE SEEMED TO RESENT HER BEING AROUND. HE ACTED AS IF SHE WAS IN THE WAY. I BATTLED WITH HIM ABOUT HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS HER, WITH NO AVAIL. I COULD SEE THE HURT IN HER EYES WHEN HE WOULD SAY THINGS TO HER. EVERYTIME HE DID-IT WAS LIKE STABBING ME IN THE HEART. TIME AND TIME AGAIN. MAYBE THAT IS WHY I DO NOT TRUST MEN AND WON'T LET ANYONE GET CLOSE TO ME. I TRUSTED CHARLIE AND HE HURT THE MOST PRECIOUS THING TO ME, MY CHILD.
NOW, HE CONTINUES TO HURT MY OTHER CHILDREN, HIS CHILDREN. HE DOES NOT BUY THEM CLOTHES OR FOOD. HE DOES NOT PROVIDE SHELTER FOR THEM. HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING.
AGAIN....... I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD BE HERE, AT MY AGE, FEELING LIKE I HAVE BEEN DECEIVED BY ONE THAT I ONCE WAS SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH AND TRUSTED WITH ALL OF MY BEING.
