Heide A.
Here I sit at age 40 unhappy as I have been most of my life because of weight. I have always been a "BIG" girl. I remember having to shop for clothes in the husky dept, as a young girl, even though I was an active kid. If I wasn't playing soccer with my friends, we were on our bikes, or just out running around. I did all that and was still fat. Kids are so cruel I remember this one time in 6Th grade, my mom had bought me a really cool outfit, it was light purple, I felt special and pretty in it, but sitting at lunch, one of the girls at the table made the comment "I've never seen a purple cow before." I was crushed! Life didn't any easier and the comments didn't stop as I got older. At age 16 my world was blown away, my mom had cancer and had be dealing with it for 3 yrs, we knew she was terminal, and I had adjusted to that fact. We finally had to put mom in the hospital for the last time they told us that she had 10 days to a month to live. I went numb. That was Dec 8, 1984, on Dec 18, 1984 my dad died of a massive heart attack. then on Jan 4, 1985 my mom passed away. I sank into a depression. In this dark place the only thing that I did was to eat, cry and eat. I never had to explain to food why I was crying and how lost I felt. Then at age 19 I met and married, I thought I was happy, I wasn't I was just grabbing on to a lifeline. I said yes to him because I didn't think anyone would ever want me. I married in Dec, got pregnant shortly after, my son was born in Oct'88. He was 9lbs 1 oz and 24 inches long, but I gained 50 lbs with him, I felt like if I looked at food I gained 3 pounds. I divorced when my son was 18 months old. I tried everything out there that claimed to make you lose weight, I lost alright but always gained it back. I told myself no more crazy diets, but that was short lived until the next fad or craze came along, but it seemed that I would always get back to where I was right after I had my son I stay with in 5 or so pounds of that until I was 34/35. Then I got pregnant, I didn't really gain all that much this time around, that due to the fact that my child father kicked me out of the house when I found out I was pregnant, I bounced around and at one point was on the street for 3 days, so I didn't have much access to food. I delivered a healthy baby girl 7lbs 12 oz and 22 inches long. Since her birth I have gained so much weight, with no clue as to why, because I don't eat that much I try to be healthy but the pounds just keep coming. So I said enough is enough, plus my body said HEY, this is too much, all my joints hurt from the weight, my back hurt and I have severe apnea. So to the Internet I went., found a doctor that is in plan for me with my insurance, called him and was told that I had to do the seminar before I could make an appointment with him. I signed up for the seminar a few times and had to cancel, but last night I went. When I went in I thought lap band is for me....I left going I have no clue as what one to do, but it looks like lap band is not the one for me. Called my surgeon today and got an appointment for Jan 14, that's the first he had, so I wait. My story is far from over so this is where I say "To Be Continued"
