ctsmith3
I think I can honestly say I have never in my life been healthy. I have been thin (smallest size 4), but never healthy. When I was in middle school, I was "chunky". I didn't learn proper habits from my parents, and didn't know how to limit things. I had a growth spurt in 5th grade that took me from the chunky to slim version of me. I was able to do more, I was active in cheerleading, and I got very fit all through 10th grade. But I never ate like I was supposed to. I never ate breakfast or lunch, I'd have a WHOLE oven pizza (the totino's variety). Then I'd eat whatever my parents cooked for dinner, and that would be it. I really honestly believe parents that don't keep snack foods in the house are dooming their children. My mom was a diet NUT. She was constantly living in a diet, and it just wasn't good for me. No one can live in a constant diet, I've tried myself and it just made me miserable. So I'd see her chowing not on good food, live veggies or fruit, but she'd eat chicken for dinner and chow on honey buns later. So to I supposed eliminate any of this, we NEVER had junk food of any kind at the house. I moved out at 16 to go to school and I just went NUTS. It was very intensive academically so I didn't have time for extra curricular activities like in my previous high school. There was also access to all kinds of things. Of course cheetos taste good! But I didn't know how to limit myself and make healthy choices, so on came the weight. I had gone from a size four to a size 14 in 2 years. I was extremely depressed about it. To make matters worse, all my mom could talk about was putting me on a diet. I tried weight watchers (which my surgeon now refers to as "the most evil diet alive"), and went back down to a size 10. But as soon as I went back to school from the summer, I lost focus on the diet and gained it back.
I'm currently a size 20 (really probably a 22, those jeans are TIGHT). I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Every diet I've tried I lose, but then gain more back. I have a lot of friends that are active and healthy and I just didn't understand how they did it. I always felt hungry when I tried to eat the same amounts they did. So I eventually gave up on myself and just ate what I wanted when I wanted. Since I had never learned good habits...I was on a downward spiral. I looked in the mirror one day and my jaw just dropped. I had stretch marks all over my stomach, I could no longer fit into any of my clothes. My favorite designer is Lilly Pulitzer and now all I can really wear are shoes and pocketbooks....thats it.
It was just the last straw. I knew that at 22 the problem wasn't going to fix itself. Thats when I decided to begin my journey to better health with the help of the Lap Band. It wasn't easy, I had mixed reactions from people. Some friends were very supportive, some think of the surgery as "plastic surgery" and that its the "easy way out". I really think that someone that has never had to struggle with being overweight might never fully understand my decision. But I'm comfortable in my own skin and I'm ready to get back into shape and finally be a healthy person so I can live a long, full life......in Lilly Pulitzer clothes... :D
