cremationlady
Ok so all I can start with is that I am like everyone else on here and have been morbidly obese since well forever. In high school I was overweight. I was a size sixteen, I thought that I looked good, but I guess that others thought it was not right to be big.
So then I graduated and got married. I've been married for 20 yrs this May 28th. And I have two very handsome young men for sons. Jack and Joshua. Jack is my Hippie and Josh is my Marine. Gotta love the differance. There is no end to the political wars that goes on in this house hold. LOL But we all love each other. That is what family is right?
Well that is what I make of my family. Growing up it did not happen that way. My mother came from a very abusive family where her father molested everyone of his children. Needless to say my mother was not the best of moms because she did not know how to be one. There was a time when she even left my sister with that monster. My sister was taken to live with someone else for a while but I was left for a time. Needless to say you can probally guess what had happen. But GF is dead and I cann't confront him with this. My mother will never admit to any wrong doing in leaving my sister and me so what is the piont right...
Because of a rough time growing up I have learned not so show any type of emotion or affection for anyone or anything. It can cause you pain in the long run.
This has been so hard for me because of my boys, I love them to death and would die for them but it is so hard for me to show them how much I really do care and love them. This has also made to were I hate to be touched unless I give the permission for ya to touch me. And then you will not get the chance fof it to be a very long time. I will start to feel trapped and it bothers me to no end.
So now that I think about all of this I guess this is part of the reason that I am a fat woman. A rotten childhood and not loosing after the kids and eating because I had a stressedout life. So now I want to get a new tool to help me loose and get healthy. To get a new me and a new lease on life.
I guess that what I need to do is get a PHYSCO to help me with the problems form childhood and keep asking God to help me not esent my mother for putting me in the sittuation that she left me in.
So that is all for now. ME
