Coryny
A little about myself....in case anyone is interested and to help me come clean with everyone including myself.......
I am currently at 312 lbs. I get teary eyed in admitting that. Mainly because I'm ashamed I let myself get this bad. This is the first time I have ever passed 250 lbs much less 300. Unfortunately I was always average to thick depending on what was going on in my life. Food was always my comfort. I am a control freak so I used it whenever I felt anything in my life was uncontrollable. I knew I could get and eat and do whatever I wanted when it came to food. So basically gaining weight was not hard to do.
Finally when I was about 32 I hit a high of 250 and freaked out. I joined a research clinic that monitored me left and right but to be honest that wasn't what did the trick. 2 events happened at the exact same moment that totally propelled me to serious weight loss. One was I got in touch with a long lost friend who I had known to be severely obese (339 lbs) and when I saw her this time she was down to 168 lbs in less than a year. She not only gave me her regimen, she actually set up my meal plan, helped me package food and sometimes even cooked for me. I was on my way. The other event was a vacation I took a little later with my mom and found out that with some effort and fine tuning I could be a flight attendant. OMG! I love to travel and was in a dead end job so that was just what I needed to hear. Now I had a goal. I was losing weight. I was getting responses from airline recruiters and I was cleaning up my credit (yes my credit was pretty bad). It was awesome. The diet my friend designed turned out to kick my metabolism into high gear and I was losing easily an average of 3 lbs a week. Sometimes even more!. I ended up losing about 80+ lbs. I don't have the exact total because I was already IN TRAINING! YES! 
I was hired and training to be a flight attendant. What a rush! I did make it and was based in NYC. Anyone that knew me, knew that was my dream city. I loved it for a while but I still felt an emptiness inside.
That's when I entered into the worst relationship ever. Completely toxic. Destroyed my career, my family, my health. I struggled and saw the darkest days of my life. Eventually I ended up pregnant and lost the baby at 9 months. At that point I had lost it all and came back to Miami with no car, no job, no money and weighing in at 270 lbs. I was severely depressed after that and ended up gaining even more weight but I just didn't care. I could have died and I didn't care. I have been a shell of a person for the past 4 years. The fact is it's easier to eat whatever and say I don't care, than to care, look the way I do and fight to lose weight. Still I am nothing like the real me. I no longer travel, go out, keep up with fashion. Basically I have been just alive and waiting to die.
Then a guardian angel came around and offered to pay for my surgery....I was shocked and apprehensive (this is ALOT of money we're talking about!) but they were serious and on 6/23/08 my life is about to change forever.....So if you're reading this wish me luck and don't be a stranger. I can use all the friends and support I can get!
