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I could have sworn I wrote something at my 10 year mark but apparently not.  But at least here I am now :-)

 

Since it's been four years since I've written I guess I have a bit to update.  As with just about everyone who has gastric bypass I started struggling with regain about three years ago.  I was mostly maintaining but VERY slowly creeping up.  The only way I was able to maintain at all was to work out like a fiend and basically starve myself.  I was constantly hungry and so disappointed with myself that I couldn't seem to control it.  

For years I had tried to find information regarding gastric bypass and it's long-term affect on metabolism.  I could never find a thing.  In fact it's very difficult to find anything about gastric bypass patients past about 3 years post-op.  I did a hard core work out/nutrition program as a last ditch effort to try and restart my metabolism.  For six weeks I followed a strict macro diet and a heavy workout routine.  It was the strongest and fittest I'd ever been but my body weight and even my body fat dropped very little.  So off I went searching again for answer...because obviously calories in and calories out was NOT the answer.  Trust me I was methodical in tracking that!  I would routinely be 500-800 calories in deficit each day and nothing changed...in fact I kept gaining small amounts.  I did keto, I did low-calorie, I did low fat, all organic/clean eating the only thing I didn't try was full on vegan.  None of it worked.  and I'm not talking about I tried it for a week and gave up.  I'd go for at least two months hard core, no cheating.   So back to that search.  I FINALLY found something promising.  Seattle Performance Health and Dr Emily Cooper and her book The Metabolic Storm.  I read the book, scoured her website and discovered that she firmly believes that most obesity is NOT caused by poor habits (perhaps exacerbated by but not the root cause) but is because our metabolic system has broken in one or more places.  It is this incredibly delicate system balanced by numerous hormones created by multiple systems in our bodies.  I immediately called to get an appointment.  It took almost a year to actually get one because she's so busy and the only one of her kind anywhere in the US.  

My first appointment they took a gallon (it felt like) of blood including an insulin/glucose test where the first one is drawn when you're fasting then you eat a balanced meal then they draw again at 30, 60 and 90 minutes.  Then she spent well over an hour with me talking about my history, including deep family history and even questions that I thought were odd at the time.  Like, how often do you feel hungry?  This was a hard question to answer because quite literally for me the answer was, "all the time".  And she said, even right after you eat?  And she said it in such a way that she expected my answer to be yes, which is was.  At that point she wasn't willing to make any guesses so she just said she felt very sure she could help me.  I came back two weeks later once the blood test results were back.  It was mind boggling.  First and foremost the hungry all the time thing...turns out although my stomach wasn't hungry my BRAIN was.  So when one eats your glucose level is supposed to spike up which sends a message to your brain that the body is being nurished which then prompts it to send out the signal of satiety and nutrition.  Mine was doing the exact opposite.  My glucose would take a deep dive which was basically telling my brain that I not only wasn't eating but that I needed to eat immediately, literally while I was putting food in my mouth.  Let me tell you, when I found out that's why I was always "hungry" I burst into tears.  

There were multiple other areas that my hormone chain wasn't working, many in part because I had been starving myself for years.   Any Dr looking simply at my bloodwork would say I was anorexic and I guess I actually kinda was, I just didn't look it because of the way my body stores and uses fat.  

So now came a lot of retraining.  I had to EAT, eat and eat more.  And it needed to be carb heavy.  She warned me I would gain weight before I started losing but to be patient.  I did gain and it completely freaked me out of course but I trusted her because the first tiny little pill she put me on (called Acarbose) to take just before I ate anything changed everything.  I suddenly could go hours without even thinking about food...something that was a complete anomoly for me.  Eventually I did start losing weight and although I'm still not down to my lowest weight it's a steadily falling line.  But NOW...I get to eat.  Whatever I want whenever I want.  I still only eat to normal fullness and my stomach is still quite small so I never eat large portions I just eat much more often.  I'm not hungry all the time, I don't think about food constantly and I feel better and have more energy than ever.  Oh and my female hormones have straightened out as well.

I have no idea if anyone ever reads my blog since I'm on it so irregularly but for those of you who do come across it I have this message.  WLS in all it's many forms is NOT the be all end all for most people.  Regain is real, just read the forum on OH to see how many people do.  It's disheartening but the good news is that it doesn't have to be a foregone failure.  I hope more Drs pick up Dr Cooper's research and start treating obesity as systemic not psychologic.  If you can convince your Dr to look at her research or have a conversation with her do it.  She does still recommend WLS for some of her patients but she also fixes the root cause which means keeping the weight off will be much easier and you'll be more successful.  

As always I'm happy to chat with anyone who has questions!

I didn't realize I hadn't posted anything last year.  And even this year my anniversary slipped by and I didn't realize it until the next day.  While it still is one of the biggest and best decisions I ever made it has become less and less important in my every day life.  I am still maintain my full weight loss.  And it is still and every day battle.  I imagine that will never change and am at peace with it.  My original "before" picture (way down at the beginning of "my story" post) is from a production of Verdi's Aida I did in Bulgaria about 6 months before surgery.  I just finished a production of Aida here in Seattle and the pictures do not make me want to cry.  Well, maybe they do, but certainly not for the same reasons.  Happy tears.  I tell my story to anyone who is interested and am happy to share the ups and downs of this choice. 

Once again I remember searching in vain through profile after profile to find folks who were further than a year or two out.  I never found more than a handful.  So I am determined to continue posting a yearly update here for those who are at the beginning of their journey.

I am still at my goal weight.  I maintain between 150-155 pounds which is 98% of my excess body weight lost.  Yes, technically I'm still overweight but at a size 4/6 I'm pretty darn happy with where I am. 

Is it a challenge?  Do I have to work at it everyday?  Absolutely!!!!!  Every bite of food I put in my mouth comes with an internal conversation about whether I'm making a good choice or not.  I still have to ask my husband about half the time to take my plate away from me because I'm full but keep eating.  There are days I want to eat everything in sight and none of it good for me.  There are days I give into that desire.  It's a tightrope walk most of the time and I have to always keep in mind that my surgery is only a tool and I can use it or not.  I do not always succeed.  But in the end it's worth it for me to keep fighting.  I never want to be who I was when I weighed 292 pounds again so that means I fight and work at it every single day!!!  I just want folks to know that although this surgery can be incredibly successful it still comes down to your personal determination and hard work to make it stick.  

One thing I did not realize until recently how rare I am to have maintained my level of weight loss this far out from surgery.  The statistics are not pretty!!!  So talk to your surgeon and get  real answers about their maintenance statistics at three years, five years and on.  Those are the stats that matter.  Not the one year mark where unless some thing goes terribly wrong (or you are completely self-destructive) the surgery does all the work.  Be realistic about what doing this surgery means long-term.  It is NOT a magic pill.  I always feel a little guilty when I tell people I lost the weight because I did gastric bypass surgery.  I feel like I somehow "cheated" because I didn't do it on my own.  But if I look at it now and the work I put into maintaining it I'm VERY proud of myself and what I've accomplished and will continue to accomplish.

Now for the good news (besides maintaining my weight)...I am officially a managed opera singer as of this September.  Basically it means that I now am at a level where I can be considered competitive at big opera houses.  I have access to auditions that would NEVER have been a possibility a year ago because they won't even consider hearing an unmanaged singer.  So big kudos to me :-) 

I hope my words are useful to those out there at every level of their weight loss journey and I'm always happy to respond to questions or well anything.

Best to all!

Once again I've hit another year mark.  And I am STILL at my goal weight!!!  Yay me!!!  It is still a daily process and I know it always will be but it's worth every bit of work I put into it. 

Every once in awhile I go do the Five Day Pouch Test as a nice little reset.  I highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling.  It's only five days and can make a world of difference in your mindset and your weight.  Although five or ten pounds doesn't seem like much...especially when I was so heavy 5 pounds was nothing....but at this weight 5 pounds is the difference between fitting comfortably in my clothes and having them feel tight.   Anyway, the five day pouch test typically helps me shed several of those pounds and just puts me back in the the right head space of being aware of what I'm putting in my mouth ALL THE TIME!!

I did get into a little trouble with my iron because I quit taking my supplements thinking that by now I should be fine.  Pretty quickly (about three months) I was very badly anemic and almost had to go on iron infusions.  Thankfully the hemotologist I went to see preferred to drastically raise the amout of supplements and change my diet first so we're getting it under control.  But it was a good reminder that no matter how far out you are supplements can't ever go away. 

I still see my surgeon every six months to a year and definitely feel that is an important part of this journey.  Just those few moments of reconnection again helps keep my head in the game.

Best of luck to everyone having surgery this year.  Congrats on making the decision.  And to everyone in whatever stage you are in keep up the great work!!

I can't quite believe it's been four years since I had my surgery.  I know I have said it over and over again but it was the best decision I have ever made.  Don't get me wrong...it hasn't been easy and quite honestly I don't think it ever will be...but my life is so much better now!  So here I am to do my yearly update so those folks who are looking for answer still can see someone who is further out than six months or a year.

Now the important information...still holding steady at 150 pounds.  :-)  YAY!  Health wise I'm in pretty good shape.  I did have to have a surgery in January to repair some internal hernias - which is a common consequence of having WLS laproscopically.  But other than that I'm doing quite well.  I still have to watch how much sugar I eat as I still dump fairly easily...totally not complaining.   Otherwise I definitely watch what I eat...have to keep calorie levels down in the 1000 per day range to maintain weight.  Much higher than that on a consistent basis and I start gaining. 

Well I'm going to change up some photos on here with recent stuff but other than that I think that's my update for this year :-)

It's been ages since I've been on here but I just saw my WLS surgeon today for my yearly follow up and thought I should post.   I know one of my big concerns when reading other folks posts was that everyone seemed to stop posting their story after about a year so I never knew if they ended up gaining weight back or lost it all or what.  So I said I wouldn't do that :-)

I am almost three years out and have maintain a 90% loss of excess body weight.  I weigh 152 pounds.  I will definitely say that I struggle almost every day with maintaining it!  If I start eating whatever i want I definitely gain weight.   Although I still can't eat a large amount at any one sitting I do find it easy to graze all day and if I track it when I do it I"m sure I'm getting close to 2000-2500 calories!  Bad, bad, bad!  So I watch what I eat very carefully, sometimes I have to be super strict with myself for awhile to get back within 155 pounds (my upper limit).   I work out 5 days a week 40-60 minutes.  I've realized that I can no longer follow standard diets.  If I did I'd gain weight.  Most standard diets have a person eating 1500 calories a day to LOSE weight.  If I want to lose weight I have to stick closer to 1000, to maintain I can go up to 1200.

I'm thrilled with the results of my lower body lift and breast augmentation.  I am a year out from those.  Although the complications were scary and will effect me for the rest of my life I can finally say it was worth it!

I wear a size 4 jeans and a small top.  Never thought it would be possible.  I just got married two weeks ago to the most amazing man ever.  We spent a week and the beach and as we did a three hour bike ride and went boogie boarding for hours I realized that I would never have been able to do those things if I hadn't lost the weight.  It is never far from my mind where I came from and I am careful to keep it close to me so I am never tempted to start the slippery slide back there.

Well, I've passed my year anniversary back in November and I'm still as happy as can be!  I have not ever reached 142 and in fact have been stalled at around 155 for months and months.  It's a little frustrating but at the same time I'm a size 6 so I guess I can't complain that much :-)

I finally started working out 6 days a week and have been doing that since the beginning of March.  Which may account for the stall as I know I'm adding a lot of the muscle I had lost.  I feel even better and much stronger than I was.  It had gotten to the point that I couldn't lift my small suitcase up into the overhead bins on the plane...I had lost that much muscle.  So if that is my overwhelming point right now to anyone just going into this...make working out a big part of your plan right from the beginning or you'll have to make up a lot of time.  It's great to be thin but you can still be a fat thin...in otherwords still have high body fat percentage.

I've also made some huge changes in my life.  New man, new job, new living situation.  All for the MUCH better now that it's all done.  But I went through about 6 months of hellishness and was very grateful to have this tool to remind me not to stuff myself with "comfort".  

Next step...start thinking about a tummy tuck.  I know I've been very lucky and don't have a ton of saggy skin.  The working out has toned up my arms and legs enough that I don't feel like I need to have them worked on but the belly is another matter.  The idea of such a major surgery though is still a little scary to me and I'm just not sure I'm ready to go through with it.  I have an appt with my surgeon this week so I'll chat with him about it.  Maybe I'll go make some consultation appointments and just see what it's all about.

I think that's it for now.  Oh, one more thing.  I know I was always interested in knowing what people could eat at this stage and few people mention it.  Since I've hit this stall I've started really monitoring my food intake and putting everything into fitday.com (which I still love an highly recommend) and I'm eating between 1200-1500 calories these days.  I still try to get my two protien shakes a day and have been trying to keep the carbs in the 30 gram/day range.  I also am still religious about taking my vitamins.  How much I can eat at any one time still varies greatly depending on the food I'm eating.  I can eat probably close to 2 cups of salad (no meat), most meat I can only eat at most 1/2 c usually more like 1/4 to 1/3, if it's ground meat I can eat a little more but not much.  I still can't eat any large amount of sweets or fat without becoming ill (thank goodness).  The biggest thing I have to do is be careful about nibbling all day. 

10 months have gone by.  I have 21 pounds to loose to have lost 100% of my excess body weight.  It will put me at 142 which will be exactly 150 pounds.  My surgeon seems to think I'll definitely be able to do that.  I'd like to do it before my 1 year anniversary.  It means I have to loose 1.8 pounds per week.  Since things have slowed down that might be a little hard but if I really get with the program and start drinking my water and up my protien again I should be able to do it.  

This has still been an amazing journey and I love every day!!  I'm wearing a size 10 pants and medium tops...I can't believe it every time I try on new clothes.  

The girls on my month forum are starting to talk about plastic surgery.  While I definitely will want to get a tummy tuck at some point I didn't think it would be this soon.  The idea of more surgery is pretty scary at this point.  I think I want to get down as low as I'm going to before doing it though...just in case I go even lower than the 142.  

I'm still getting blood work done every 3 months and it's all come back perfectly so that's great too.  Everyone says I look so healthy.

Well, I'm almost 6 months out now.  I'm down a total of 110 pounds and am officially just overweight now (not obese).  I'm 182 pounds wearing a size 14 almost 12.  It's been SO wonderful and I love this new life.  I can eat most things, except sugar for which I'm glad, and really oily/greasy stuff can make me sick too.  I've made myself really up my protien intake and am doing two shakes a day and one bar which puts me at 70 grams a day just from those.  Of course that means I'm usually full and only eat perhaps one more meal a day.  The think I'm the worst at is getting in my water.  I'm not as thirsty as I used to be so I don't drink nearly enough.  So that's my next focus.  I still really haven't started working out other than walking with my dog regularly.  I really do want to get into the gym and do some weights because I think it would help a lot with loose skin.  It's not terrible which is why I think just a little toning would help.  And I know I"ve lost muscle because my strength, especially in my arms, is pathetic.  Other than that I'm just taking it day by day.  I'd love to hit 150 but I'm even thinking I'll go below that now because I'm actually pretty close right now.   But again, just taking it day by day and I'll see where I end up.

So I'm trying to decide what my next big goal should be.  I'm now at 196 and the 200 mark was a huge one for me.  I thought perhaps getting to having lost 100 pounds but that is in 4 more pounds so while it will be cool to get there it won't have that same impact.  I think perhaps I need to make a goal that centers around working out.  I should go get my body fat tested and build some goals around building muscle.  For weight I guess my next big one will be 150 which is actually my goal weight.  I can't believe it's actually so close.  I need to go out and buy some more clothes...pants especially.  Need some 14's now...yippee.  I get to buy a formal gown for a performance in May and I'm SO excited to go shopping for it since I'll get to shop just about anywhere.
Most of all I just can't describe how my mental health has changed.  My attitude about food is completely different, I actually crave things like salad now.  I'm not saying it's all easy because it's not and I definitely have my sweet craving days where I just really want a big apple fritter or cake with lots of frosting.  But I've had my accidental experience with sugar and know that I'm one of the lucky ones that can't handle it.  Had a peanut sauce on a dish and didn't think about how much sugar might be in it...I didn't throw up but was pretty miserable for about 45 minutes.  And I often just want to sit down and eat without having to think about it.  But I still really have to concentrate on chewing completely and eating slowly.  Other than that I love my new eating life.  I very rarely feel deprived which for me is huge, it's why diets never worked for me...I always felt hungry and deprived which just made me jump off the wagon.  I have two friends who are now going to do this in small part because of me.  I love being able to share my experiences with them and know that they are going to be feeling this freedom soon too.  I know it isn't for everyone but it sure has been right for me!!!