Michele P.

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I know it has been a long time since I have posted, but a lot has gone on in my life one very good and a lot very bad. Separation, divorce, bankruptcy, meeting the man of my dreams, death of my 22 year old cousin to colon cancer, death of my dad while we were all on a cruise together, my aunt is now suffering from brain cancer and my mom is having all kinds of health problems. So you see.... I have had lots on my mind, not to mention I am dealing with a lot of health issues of my own, as I suffer from Systemic Lupus and now Fibromyalgia. I had gained some weight through all of it as I am a big time stress eater, got myself up to 163 lbs, but finally I am back on the saddle and back on the road to my low weight of 135 lbs. I have lost 16 lbs so far in 7 weeks and intend to lose another 12 lbs before my trip to Punta Cana in September. I am now again recording all my food, weighing my food, measuring my food, weighing myself and keeping myself in check; it is the only way I know how to keep myself on the straight and narrow....it works for me. I have realized I have to stop using food for comfort, I have to stop using food as an excuse or I will end up where I started and I never want to go back there....ever!!!!  I will be a success story, this will be the one thing in my life that I can truly be proud of in my life, that I can truly say I was true success. I know there are a lot of people who had this surgery that gained all the weight back, I know some of them....I won't be one of those people. I was given a great gift and I will not waste that gift, I will not throw it away!!!!! I will be 135 lbs again and I will be a success!!!!! :)

Well alot has happened since I have posted last; my divorce was finalized, had to file bankruptcy because of the divorce and because of all the stress I gained 10lbs. I am living alone for the first time in my life as I went from mom's to marriage. It is different, but am enjoying the freedom. I had a few boyfriends since the divorce most good, one that turned out to be verbally abusive...so needless to say, he is history now. I am happy to say that I have met a wonderful guy now, who is 11 years my junior. He is tall, dark and hansome and a sweetie too! Regardless of our age difference, we get along great and have a really good time together. Hoping he is around for a long time.

 Well back to my diet and weight gain; I will say that I do still measure my food, weigh my food and record my food. I still do not drink carbonated beverages at all. I have always been a stress eater, so I blame all I have recently gone through causing part of the gain. In the last six months I have also had to be put on chemo med's and prendisone for my Lupus; I blame the steroids and birth control pills for the rest of the 10lbs gain. I do know that I am also doing some things wrong, during the divorce I got lazy about recording my foods, but I am actively and religiously doing it again and trying to get the 10lbs off before my annual appointment on September 10th. I know I need to up my protein, that is one problem right there, but I am so damn tired all the time from the Lupus and chemo meds that I get lazy and just make quick processed crap a lot of the time. I still fit in all my clothes and feel like 5 of the lbs took shelter in my chest alone. lol. I feel so much more comfortable at the 135lbs and maintained that for well over 3 years and will get back there again. This 10lbs, to me, feels life 100lbs.

Well that is all that is new with me, so for now, I will end this post. Hope to have better news next time I post. Hope I can say the 10lbs is gone bye, bye. lol.

Well it has been a while since I have posted anything, but a lot has happened since I last did. Let see, I am now getting divorced; the marriage was heading downhill before the surgery and only continued to get worse afterwards. My husband began to get increasingly jealous and possessive of me and the more he acted that way, the more I felt like I needed to break free. The one thing I didn't know was that my husband was not being jealous and possessive over me because of the weightloss as I thought, but because he didn't want me acting in the same manner that he had been acting; I discovered my husband with another woman and not only that, but I found out he had been cheating on me for 10 of the 12 years we had been together. Yeah so the divorce should be final soon, if he signs the divorce papers when he is served with them. (fingers crossed). I am now looking forward to starting my life over and hopefully being a much happier person.

On to the subject of weightloss, I have gained like 5 lbs, but I am sure stress is the culprit...not that it is an excuse, cause I need to get it off once again.  I am a big stress eater and I don't think I have ever had this much stress in my life. I am trying to get myself back on track and stop grazing on foods and start cooking actual meals for myself again. I need to start recording everything in my PDA once again and be more consistent on weighing/measuring all my food. I do still walk to work, almost 2 miles everyday, weather permitting....so that does help keep me in check.

I have had some problems with my bloodwork, mostly my parathyroid levels; I have made an appointment with an endocrinologist to see what he can tell me. My lupus is out of remission and I am in the mist of a flare up, that too I am sure was caused by the stress of the divorce.

Other than that there isn't much news to report, but I will report back soon.

Well it has been awhile since I posted anything so I thought I would catch everyone up on my life. I am continuing to maintain my 135 lbs. weight, but still would like to lose a few more pounds; I don't let it consume me, but if it happens I will be very happy. I do want to get a tummy tuck; I don't have much skin, but I can't get my stomach and abs hard like I want them. Plus where they cut into my upper ab muscle for the surgery, I have a small pooch that I can't get rid of and all the ab exercises isn't going to help it. I know I probably won't lose much weight from it, when I do have the surgery, maybe 2-3 lbs at the most, but anything is a help. I have to wait till I have some money, but I do intend to get it as soon as I can finance it. Any plastic surgery doctors out there reading this that want to do the surgery in exchange for publicity,  let me know. Ha Ha. I couldn't be so lucky.

My marriage is another story; the weight I have lost has taken it's toll on it. I read when I was doing all my research for the surgery that if your marriage had problems to begin with, that the problems would only get worse after the surgery and boy was that true. My husband has become a very possessive and jealous man; he thinks that I am more like a china doll or a caged animal than his wife. I feel like I have a leash on me all the time and the more he pulls on it the more I want to break free. Financially, I can't afford to do anything right now, but I truly don't see our marriage lasting too much longer; if you ask him everything is wonderful, but he's in denial.

Well nothing more to report, I am pretty busy with my sister's wedding approaching; I am the matron of honor. Boy I hate that word -  matron; why don't you just 'old lady of honor'? Till next time.... Goodbye....

Well I am back and had my 2.5 year appointment and I actually lost 1.5 lbs since last year. Apparently, at my previous appointment I weighed 136.5 lbs and I weighed 135 lbs on the dot this time around. I am so glad to have those extra couple of pounds from the holidays off again, but still would like to lose another 7 lbs before my sisters wedding in June 2008. My blood work is still a bit off; my parathyroid levels are very high and my WLS doc suggested that I go to an endocrinologist and see if they can help lower the levels. My vitamin D levels which were at a very low level of >4 are now back up again, but my rheumatolgist will be checking that out with my next round of blood work. Unfortunately, I don't have much else to report so I guess I will just end here until next time.

Well it has been a few months since I posted last, but I finally have made some progress with losing those holiday pounds and I am now once again floating between 133 lbs and 136 lbs. by just cutting a couple hundred calories a day by just eating a little better than I had been. I feel like I am getting back on track now and am on my way to my 128 lbs. goal for my sister wedding next year. 

Only one medical issue to report and that was discovered through some blood word ordered by my rheumatologist. I found out that my vitamin D levels were severely low - less than 4; I guess normal is above 25-60. I am now taking 50,000 IU twice a week in addition to the 250 IU in each my 4 calcium pills and 200 IU in each of my 2 multi-vitamins.  I am glad my doctor investigated further as it could have wreaked havoc on my bones if let go. I kept attributing the symptoms I was having to my lupus (falling asleep constantly, lack of energy and joint pain), but my rheumatologist suspected Vitamin D deficiency instantly. I am feeling somewhat better, but my levels need to be checked again.

Well not too much else to report, I have my 2.5 + year Dr's appointment on August 8th, so I guess I will report again following that. Have a great summer.

Well nothing much to report, still struggling with the few pounds I gained over the Christmas and New Year Holiday. I am very disappointed in myself and am determined to get them off; now that Spring is finally here I will be able to walk on more regular basis, though this Winter was fairly mild and I did walk most days to work. I guess the thing I have come to realize the most in recent months and I guess I knew all along is that we had our stomachs operated on, not our brains;  I will always have the compulsive eating tendencies,  I just have to learn to control it and always remember to keep fresh in my mind the foods that trigger this behavior (i.e. chocolate & sugar) or the emotions that led me to those foods in the first place. It is a struggle, but being a success is important to me and I will not fail - I can't. These few extra pounds have me feeling awful, it's hard to imagine how I carried 115-120 extra pounds before this surgery. Well wish me luck, hopefully I will have much better news to report next time.

Well here I am again and it is now almost the end of February and I am still fighting to lose the 2-3 pounds I gained over the holidays. I find it is a constant struggle these days, as I doing a lot of mindless eating. I still record everything, so I am kept in check by this, but I know I need to get myself back on track. My sister is getting married in June of 2008 and I want to not only lose those 3 pounds, but also finally lose that additonal 10 lbs. that I have wanted to lose all along; I want to be 125 lbs. even if it isn't permanent, it is just a personal goal. As I have said in the past, I am comfortable at 135, but have this other goal in my head. I feel so fat and though I know 2-3 lbs. is not bad, I feel like it is 20 pounds. I need to get my head on straight and get back on track; I won't go back, I will win this battle. If there is one thing I want to be a success at, it is this; I will not fail, I can't. Till later......

Well the holiday's have come and gone, but the apparently my extra picking finally caught up with me. I was maintaining at 135-136 lbs. for probably a good 6 months or so and now I am hovering around 138 and it really has me down. I know the blame is on myself, because even though I still record and weigh every thing put into my mouth, I know over the holiday's it was too much; in fact I know better than most people because I do record everything, so I know I was above my high end of calories for weeks. My low end calories is about 1580 calories and my maintaining calories according to Katch-McArdle and Benedict-Harris calculations is about 2028 calories to maintain the 135 lbs weight at the my activity level, though I find that high I have to sadfully admit that I had exceeded even that over the holiday many times; damn kielbasi, mini quiche and cookies. I am back on track now and trying very hard to keep my calories between 1580-1800; I know after about a week of sticking to this not only will I be back in the groove of things, but also my weight will go back down. I will keep you all posted; wish me luck. I refuse to go above 135 lbs and in fact I want to be 125 lbs with my sisters wedding coming up in June of 2008.

...and my two year anniversary is fast approaching. I am still maintaining my 135 lbs., give or take a pound. I still want to lose 10 more pounds, but if I don't - I am still okay with it. I walk everyday to work, weather permitting, which is approximately 2 miles. My lupus has been acting up again, so my energy level is down and really have to force myself to stay active. I am able to consume appx. 1800 calories a day and maintain my weight, sometime more than that. I still only drink water; no carbonation. I do drink wine when I go out; which is only once a week. I do give in to sugar at times, especially with the holidays, but I still record everything I put in my mouth so I stay aware of my calories, protein, carbs and fat. I usually eat 80-100+ gram of protein a day. I drink 100 oz of water a day. I do probably eat more carbs than I should, but so far it has not caused weight gain. I still like my rice, though I rarely eat pasta or bread. Bread is hard for me; I don't enjoy it unless it is crispy (toasted etc...) Pasta if I have it, I can only have around 3 oz cooked - which is not much for those of you who weigh their food. I do still weigh all my food and use measuring cups for everything else; this also help me keep aware of my consumption. I swear by journaling and weights/measurements. I still weigh myself everyday; neurotic I know. I have a portable food scale even at work; my co-workers think I am nuts. I feel there are much worse things I could be called or worse things I could do; such as gain the weight back. I am very happy with my results; I am at goal and have been maintaining my weight now for appx. 6 months. I thank God everyday for this surgery and the gift Dr. Peter's has given me; without him and his wife I don't know where I would be now - probably even heavier. Happy Holiday Dr. Peters and Robbie. Happy Holiday to all who have taken time to read my updates and I wish everyone the best of luck and hope my updates have inspired someone, somewhere.