cocoa
This is the beginning of another journey for me. I can't say Im unhappy with my weight, I know it is certainly unhealthy for me. I don't get frustrated when I step on the scale, I just jump off the scale kick my heels off and try again, doens't help much. Ive been concered about my weight for some time now, and did all the things other individuals have done. I dont believe in dieting, Im southern, I cook, I eat and I enjoy it. I do however know portion control and my limits.
I recently got a new PCM, and on my first visit she asked hows the weight loss going, I replied, "the weight isn't going anywhere" and moved on. Not feeling she would truly address any of my concerns I went on with my diabetes rant. So yea my bmi was 42, which for my 5-foot frame was pushing it, I could cut back some more. When she said, I am referring you for gastric bypass, I almost fell out my chair. For the first time in over 8 years someone actually listened.
She didn't give me the 3rd degree about my eating habits or working out, which I actually do. I explained to her, my son was recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and it changed my entire life. I can now count carbs, know sugar substitutes, do portions control, and even count grapes before I eat them. Since Im a military spouse the naval hospital here has a program, no sweat!! I have my first appoint on 5/11/07, and they aren't ready for me,lol.
I learned a long time ago that you have to love yourself, and what your made of and if thats a few extra pounds, love that too. I have been blessed with a man that loves me thick or thin, and paws after me like we were young teens. I still walk by mirrors and kiss myself cause im SEXY!!! I won't lie it got frustrating, and I soon got over that also. I dont mind shopping plus size, and I dont feel embarassed at a buffet.
It brings tears to my eyes when my boys hug me and say, "mom your so soft," or the way my hubby fluffs his "pillows" at night. I earned this and I flaunt it. I just have to make plans to be healthy. I dont want this procedure for cosmetic reasons, I use make-up for that. I look forward to this journey, and want to rejoice in every step of it.......so until the next time stay posted!! Kisses
