Tonya E.

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I wasn't fully nervous until this week. Four months ago I was told WLS was my only hope of living. My doctor was very concerned with my organs and decided this was the best decision for me. So On January 7th 2013 at 7am I go under the knife. To be honest, I've been pretty excited and pumped for this whole thing to start. I've read everything I could get my hands on and feel very happy with the decision I've made. The last few days though, things have changed.

I have three daughters, ages 14, 12, and 11. They are my husbands from his previous marriage. I have adopted them due to major issues with their bio-mom... long story short they are my whole world and own my hear! I was asked by my youngest if I was going to die and if she was going to loose her only real mommy. Talk about a knife in the heart moment. Then my mom calls and asks if I have a living will and if not she's paying for me to get one. It made everything seem real, like before I was living in this, "I'm going to be skinny for once in my life" moment... Now, I've never been more nervous for anything ever.

I believe in God, and I fully believe He has my best interest at heart... I am not in any way scared of dying. What bothers me is the fact my girls are dealing with this too. I guess up until this moment I didn't understand this process. In 6 wake-ups it's not just my life that will forever change, but theirs as well. God I pray your strength and guidance through this, cause I am not prepared for everyone else's emotions when it came to tall of this. 

So I had originally posted that I was approved... and that is correct I have been approved, however not in the way I thought I was. My insurance will allow me to have the surgery, however it looks like it might take a little while to get everything the way they want it. I'm praying things move quickly. 

I guess it's time things change. I have stated working out a lot more. More than I have in all my life. I'm also allowing hurt full words roll off my back. I have an amazing husband who is walking this out with me, and an amazing God how continually holds me close. I'm not sure what tomorrow brings, but I am so ready to be skinny, and no longer in pain.