cjsolis
I finally had reached my limit when I was approaching 300 lbs. I could not deny my own obesity any longer. I hadn't externally for a long time. I mean, who can when you look in the mirror and have a reflection that makes you disgusted and sad. But internally I hadn't lost hope that something would change, turn it around.
I continued to try every diet known to mankind. I would have done Oprah's hot dog and ice cream diet if it had been offered to me. I was desperate. But, there were signs of hypertension. A blood pressure that was erratic and headed higher. My joints hurt from time to time, especially after doing something as I did daily - climb stairs, etc. My hope was dwindling and I feared that I would hit the 300 lb. mark and then what?
I mean I remember this fear distinctly when I approached 200! I thought wow, 200. And now I was approaching 300 and knew that once I blew past that milestone it would be on to 400 or death.
Let me just say. I love my life. LOVE my life. I have a wonderful marriage, a boat-load of friends who love me. I stay active in my social life and am always busy. My friends sometimes admonish me that I'm too busy. Between volunteer work, friends, family, my career and my interests of cooking, cars, coffee, and cards - I'm rarely home or asleep. I guess my biggest fear was that some event related to my health would occur and I wouldn't be able to continue at the pace I've become accustomed to. I mean, how much time do we have on earth anyway? I wanted to keep up with the pace of life! And, it was becoming harder and harder.
I'd been campaigning with the insurance company to have the lap band surgery ever since I'd bumped into a friend in Sacramento. He walked into the office one day and I was amazed. We had just seen him 3 months earlier and he had looked completely different! He had lost an incredible amount of weight in a short amount of time. He told me had had lap band surgery.
I didn't know such a thing existed. I researched and determined I had to have this procedure. Unfortunately, the insurance company and I weren't on the same wave length. Long story short - just as I was getting ready to book my vacation surgery in Mexico to have the procedure done and pay for it out of pocket (I told you I was determined to have this surgery) Blue Cross Blue Shield finally came to their senses. I honestly believe the cost of this surgery is far less expensive than all the by products of living an extended period with obesity.
I have to say, my primary concern was my health. Many of my misunderstanding friends think that this was a cosmetic or ego-based decision. I just smile. While hypertension, pain, and other things are merely a by product of obesity - looking good is just a by product of losing weight. The real benefit is I get to live. I have bought myself more time with my family, my friends and all the things I've yet to do or accomplish.
How can you put a price on that anyway? I couldn't. I hope to provide someone a glimmer of encouragement that they can do it too. By virture of our struggles, whether exactly the same or not - we're related. You are my brothers and sisters through struggle and I have the highest hopes for you too.
