chillyjilly
Hi! Last year I attended the free info meeting and at that time, decided it wasn't for me. I didn't like the idea of taking supplements forever & I just thought how gross it would be to chew your food to the consistency of applesauce. Well, up until last month, I was adamant about NOT getting the surgery. Then I watched "Kathy's story" on the Discovery Health Channel. A week after seeing that story my best friend asked if I was still considering Gastric Bypass. For some reason, her asking that question got me to start thinking about it for myself again. Surprisingly to me, I changed my mind. I think it's the kind of discipline I need. I love food so much & it has become the center of my life. I want to be healthier and I want myself & my family to be more important than food. I want to get to the point that I use it only for energy/nutrition. So, I called Dr. Baker's office and was told I would have to attend another info meeting. That's fine, I will be attending on 4/27. I can't wait! I'm excited to get this ball rolling. So, while I wait to attend this meeting, I've been reading testimonials. Last night, I even dreamt that I had this surgery. When I first made this decision, I wasn't quite sure I was making the right decision. After more research, I can say that every fiber in me believes that this surgery is for me. I know it won't be easy, but with the help of this surgery, I know I can become a healthier me!
4/22/04
I decided that I should take a look at the memorials on this site. Wow, that really sobered me up! What's with all these people dying due to blood clots? Isn't that something that's supposed to be checked prior to surgery? I'm still going to the info meeting on the 27th, and will ask the surgeon what precautions he will take to prevent me from developing a pulmonary embolism. I guess all I can do is pray that I'm making the right decision and have hope that God won't take me away from my 2 little girls. At age 3 1/2 and 19 mos., they still need their mommy!
4/23/04
So, last night I went to bed & cried before going to sleep after seeing the memorials, but I'm ok now. I learned about ketosis today & the fact that I will stink after surgery. That wouldn't be great if I were single & looking for a man. But, I'm married & that makes it all different. I will finally get my husband back for the bad gas he's aimed my way all these years!!! I guess my girls will have to smell me too, but I've had to smell their nasty diapers
4/28/04
I attended the info session yesterday & although I already knew every bit of info they went over, just hearing it caused me to have an internal dialogue with myself. Kind of like the devil & angel on your shoulder, but it was a person rooting me on & a person trying to put on the brakes! It was an internal debate. I could argue both sides quite well. The little person on my shoulder rooting me on was winning the debate, but I didn't feel much peace about it until I woke up this morning. When I woke up this morning, I knew what I had to do. I called the bariatric center & made my first appointment which will be meeting with the nurse clinician to go over my health history. My appointment is on May 12, so I won't have long to wait.
5/6/04
As the 12th comes closer, I'm getting more anxious for this journey to really start. I guess I've started by going to the info meeting, but I think I'll feel like I started once I see the bariatric nurse. I've 100% decided/accepted this is what I want to do & now that I've done that, I'm afraid I won't get approved. What I'm really afraid of is the insurance issue. My insurance covers if medically necessary. I guess what I'm really afraid of is that my past attempts to lose weight won't be enough. For example, I've done WW 4 different times, but didn't last very long there....I think 2 months was the longest. And then I did Phen-Fen & a high protein, low carb diet through a diet center, but that only lasted 5 months due to Phen-Fen being taken off the market & I stopped going to the diet center, but did the diet on my own for an additional month. And then I counted calories on my own using "diet power" computer software for 3 months. I hope that's enough. UGH!
Now, on to a different subject, this website is GREAT!! I was so worried about missing my fave foods. I have such a relationship with food & I'm going to have to cut the ties. I'm not sure I was quite ready for that, but then I visited the recipe message boards. Wow...some foods I won't have to give up, just do substitutions. In fact, it may become a new hobby of mine to find and cook healthy, tasty, low-carb recipes! Woohoo!!!! I'm also excited for exercise to become an important part in my life. As for right now, I don't care for it (except for using weights --bodypump class-- and water aerobics) but I bet that with a lighter body, exercise will become more fun. BTW, I decided that I was going to the YMCA to exercise this week but then sickness came in and sabotaged my idea! My kids were sick, therefore, I couldn't put them in the childcare while I was there & now I'm sick! ARGH!!! How frustrating that this would happen when I'm trying to do something good for myself!!!!!
5/19/04
My appointment with the bariatric nurse went just fine. I have to lose approx. 15 pounds before surgery. I've called and made my psych appointments which will be the beginning of June. I was told that I would also need 3 months of a structured weight loss or one monitored by my doctor, so I decided that I would see my dietician once a month for 3 months. That should be all that I need. I've also called my insurance company and found out that they cover 100% of the surgery....WOO-HOO!!! Now all I gotta do is pass the psych exam. I'm really excited to get this surgery and can't wait until I'm on the losing side. I talked to my dad about this last night and he said, "It will be so nice to have a healthy daughter!" I'm glad that he's supporting me in my decision.
6/3/04
I had my psych eval yesterday & it was tedious. A necessary evil, most definitely, but really, it wasn't too bad if you have at least 2 hrs. to kill!!! So, tomorrow is my 2nd psych appointment and we get to see what the good ol' doc thinks of my answers. I have confidence that he'll feel I am mentally stable. Actually, I'm kind of curious to see what John McAlpine says the test says about me. Anyway things are rolling right along and I'm excited. I no longer am mourning the foods I'll possibly miss. I feel like I'm a foodaholic. I have to be able to go without certain foods or with the help of this surgery, be able to have only VERY LITTLE in order to succeed at losing weight and keeping it off. I wouldn't be able to diet long enough to get all that extra weight off. It's my opinion that this surgery is a NECESSITY! I just wish I hadn't had this problem to begin with, but hey, what can ya do?
6-26-04
10 lbs. of pre-op weight lost
275 lbs.
7/8/04
BCBS now has a new guideline in some of their policies that you have to have 1 yr. of structured diets before having surgery. I checked with my bariatric center and they checked into insurance and this indeed is a new guideline. Now I'm hearing that not all BCBS policies is adopting this guideline. So, I called my bariatric center to see if they checked into my policy or BCBS in general and unfortunately, the lady I need to talk to is out of the office until Monday. I guess I'll have to wait. I'm not holding my breath though. I'm just going to keep thinking that I need a year of structured weight loss so I don't get my hopes up. My 1 yr. of structured diet will be done mid-February so hopefully I'll be having surgery not too long after that. Wow, it seems so far away. I guess I'll just have to try to keep busy!
7/16/04
I talked to Mary, the insurance lady at the bariatric center. Apparently BCBS as a whole is adopting this guideline as a whole. There are exceptions, for example, state employees. It's not as strict for them. My nurse from the bariatric center called me yesterday. She said that they've got everything and they're ready to put together the report to send to insurance. I told her about the new guideline and that Mary suggested they send my info to insurance anyways since they haven't seen a denial for BCBS yet. So, I really do hope that I'm approved at this time, BUT I'm not holding my breath. My hopes have crashed down once already during this journey & I don't want to go through it again. I'll accept whatever is meant to be. I suppose whatever happens will be for the best, but I still really want to get approved NOW!!! You can bet I'll pray about this EVERY night and I'll try to have a little faith.
8/9/04
I don't really have anything new to report, but it's been a little while since I updated. On 8/3, my stuff was sent to insurance. Now I just WAIT. My insurance says that it could take anywhere from 2weeks to a month for an answer. I really do hope it's closer to the 2 weeks.
I've been working out more in the past couple weeks. I lost about 5 more pounds, but within days, I've gained it back. I noticed that during my 5 day break away from the gym, I was losing. Now since this weekend when I've been going to bodypump, I've gained it. It kinda baffles me because I KNOW that I MUST be burning more than I'm consuming. It's not that time of the month either. I guess I'll just keep on trying to be HEALTHY & try to not focus on the number that shows up on my scale. One thing I could do is focus on getting more liquids in. I'm kinda behind on that. Maybe getting in more liquids would make a difference?
POOL PARTY!! 8-14-04
I'm in the back row, trying to hide!!!
8/19/04
Today is a happy day for me! Insurance approved me for surgery! It took them exactly a week! It turns out that the surgeons office didn't send the preauth. to insurance when they said they would, they waited until the 12th. I'm not sure why they were unable to do it right away, but it doesn't matter now. I'm still kinda baffled that I was approved. With BCBS's new policy of 1 year of structured diet within 3 yrs. time, I thought I'd be denied. Maybe it makes a difference that my husband works for the union? Who knows! I guess it really doesn't matter why!
I have my teaching appointment on September 10th. Apparently the nurse I'm meeting with has vacation at the end of August. That's ok, though. Before getting surgery, I have to get a sleep study done to see whether or not I have sleep apnea. I see a doctor about getting a referral for the sleep study tomorrow. I don't know why I have to go through the BS of getting a referral. I should just be able to call the sleep center & make an appointment. It makes no sense to me. Whatever....I'll jump through the hoops. I've jumped through so many already, what's one more?!
So, I'm really EXCITED! I think I'm more excited just because I didn't expect this! Wow, a year from now, I'll be a totally different person! Well, I'll look totally different, anyway, but no matter what I look like, I'll always be me.
9/8/04
Hello again! The bariatric nurse from Dr. Johnson's office called today. I got a date of Sept. 15th to see the surgeon! That's just one week from today & then I'll have my surgery date! I'm really excited and scared. I'm afraid that I'll fail. I keep hearing that it's just as hard to maintain your goal weight post-op as it is to lose weight as a pre-op. That has me a little worried. Don't get me wrong....I'm still going to do this. And I will try my damdest to make this tool work for me! I'd just hate to get down to my goal weight & hear all the comments..."You're so pretty now!" or "You had a pretty face then, but now you're absolutely beautiful!" You get the picture, I'm sure. And I know how my family is. There will be specific people that say stuff like that. So, I can imagine hearing those comments and then what if I gained all my weight back? Then I can go back and remember the comments people made....about not being beautiful at this weight, etc. ARGH!! Oh, I've got to try, don't I? I am risking my life, such as it is, by having this surgery, but what is life without risks? YES! What IS life without risks? I may fail, but I may kick ass! I've gotta take this risk & hope that I will prevail!
So, as far as a surgery date....before I knew that insurance would approve me, my dh set up his 5 days of vacation to be the week of Oct. 4th. Now, it is likely I could get a date during his vacation, but it's just as likely that I won't. So, I told him not to take himself off the calendar for those days yet, just in case. Well, I kinda figured that he would be able to schedule himself for vacation for anytime, but he's not so sure. Lots of people have already requested their vacation time & some people go hunting....that's coming up in November. People might have time off around the holidays, etc. So, he says he'll probably have to get the FMLA forms just in case. Truthfully, he's kinda bummed about it. If he asks for those forms, his boss might want to know why. Then he'll have to admit that his wife is morbidly obese. He works in a warehouse & a lot of guys there give eachother crap all the time & don't have a lot of tact. Nobody there knows what I look like...fat or thin, beautiful or average or homely....they have no clue. My dh wants to keep it that way. He just doesn't want them giving him crap. But, he's going to get the forms anyway. He says that if anyone finds out and gives him crap, he'll stick up for me & not be ashamed & tell them all to go to hell! To tell you the truth, I could care less what his co-workers think. I hope he does tell them to go to hell! Well, I may update again on Friday after my one on one teaching appointment or I might wait until next Wednesday when I have my date. TTFN!
Not a great pic, but I'm only 16 days pre-op! 
9/15/04
Hey!! I saw Dr. Johnson today & I have a date!! Monday, September 27th, Unity hospital at 9:45 am!!! That's not even 2 weeks away! I have a lot to do between now & my date. I want to make sure the house is in tip-top shape because I won't be doing much housework for awhile, post-op! I want to start exercising a little more often...everyday if I can, between now & surgery because I want to be in the best shape possible on surgery day. I gotta get into the habit of exercise anyway!! I've gotta make sure I have some Carnation Instant Breakfast in the house & some liquids. I have to write letters, one to my kids & one to my hubby. No, I don't think I'll die, BUT if it were to happen, I'd like for them to have that letter. I think it would mean a lot to them. So, that'll be sad to do, but I gotta get that done. I'm sure there's other things I've gotta do as well, but my mind has drawn a blank! It's been a long day. I'll update again before surgery!
9/16/04
Ok...I woke up this morning kinda phlegmy....I'm really hoping that it's allergies & not a cold coming on. It would figure, though, huh? I took an allergy pill....I'm hoping that takes care of it & if it doesn't, it's a cold! Perhaps I should go out & get something to nip it in the bud right now, just in case?
****Thank you Laura & Sarah for being my angels****
9/24/04
So, tomorrow is my last day on this lite diet. It was pretty easy. I admit, there were a couple times I wish I wasn't on the diet, like during those Betty Crocker commercials for new cake mixes they have now with filling. Truthfully, I wouldn't have gone out & bought them anyway because I KNOW I would NOT be able to stop at just 1 piece!!! After tomorrow, I have my 1 day of ONLY liquids & then it's surgery day!!! I will be able to survive on Sunday, but I must make sure I'm busy so I'll think about food less! It will be hard, but so worth it!!
Oh, I forgot to update when I had my pre-op physical! Everything went GREAT!! My cold is gone, so, nothing to worry about there!
Hey, have I wrote about how scared I am? I probably have, but I'm really feeling it now, with the mixture of excitement! I'm trying really hard to be positive, though. I just think, the more positive I am, the better I'll do on surgery day! I still can't believe that I'm doing this! I also keep wondering if I'm CRAZY?! I am WILLINGLY taking the small risk of death/complications, getting my innards rearranged, putting myself through what I KNOW will be hell, all for the sake of being healthy. This definitely is NOT the easy way out. Thank goodness for my husband, my family, my friends & this site because without any of them, there's no way I could do this. Or at least, I don't think I could.
Have I talked about how pissed off I am? I truly am pissed that I have to do this to myself. Why ME? My dad's side of the family has a weight problem....quite a few of them are obese & my mom's side....well, mom's thin, my aunt is average, & my uncle can't gain weight if he tried!! So, why did I have to take after my dad's side? Why is it that when I was a teenager & had a crap load of problems, nobody was really there for me except food? And so now, when I'm stressed over the kids or just plain bored, the refrigerator & cupboards call to me & out of habit, I answer their call! It just SUCKS that I have to go to this extreme in order to be healthy. It SUCKS that I can't just be me & still be healthy! It SUCKS that society is prejudice of people like myself even though most of America is at the very least, overweight!
But, I'm also happy. I'm happy this surgery exists. I'm happy that this surgery has gotten better & there's more successes. I'm happy that I'm going to have a second chance at life. I'm happy that I'll have more energy to play more with my children. I'm happy that I'll now have the energy to accompany my husband for hikes. I'm happy that I can now be a positive role model for my children, as far as being healthy. I'm happy that I'll have a chance to be the person that I was truly meant to be. And with that, my novel for today ends. I will try to update again before my surgery on Monday.
10/1/04
Well, my day of liquid diet, before surgery went ok. I was hungry, but did all right. Actually, I'm not sure how I did it. But I did. I was able to keep fairly full. I sipped on Crystal lite all day. I kept myself busy. My surgery on Monday was uneventful. I woke up in tremendous pain, but that was taken care of soon enough. I remember they wanted me to get up & walk but there was NO way that was going to happen until I got pain meds!! It was too cold in my hospital room. My sleeping got screwed up due to the surgery day. It was weird because when I wanted to sleep I couldn't YET I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. It didn't help that my room was COLD!!! So, even when I'd want to be up, I'd sit in bed because of the covers but then I'd doze. UGH!
Now I'm home. My sleeping is still screwed up! I can't seem to sleep for more than a few hours at a time! I have numbness in my hips & back of the thighs. I'm so tired right now but when I lay down to sleep, I can't sleep. I can't wait until I'm 100%!! Right now, I'm not glad yet about having the surgery, but I know that as I get better & the weight comes off, I'll feel more positive about it. I'm mildly optimistic.
You Are Italian Food
Comforting yet overwhelming.
People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.
10/11/04
Today I am 2 wks. post-op. I'm tolerating liquids well & am getting in ALL of my fluids daily, but it is hard. I lost 12 lbs. in the 1st wk. & this past week, it seems by body is catching up. I haven't loss anything on the scale, but I have gone down a size in pants the past week, so that's great! I guess I'm glad I've had this surgery, but I'm not yet at the point where I'd say that I'd do it again. I'm still having the numbness in my leg that I talked about before, but have learned it's nothing to be concerned with. I am sleeping GREAT now! Thank goodness because the lack of sleep topped with being a stay at home mom was driving me batty!! Last week I started strained cream soups & I was SO excited & that cream of chicken tasted SO good, but now I'm sick of it!! I'm sick of trying to get my liquids in....it's so tedious...but necessary! I can't wait until I'm able to lift my daughter & lift weights & do all the things I can't do now! On top of it all, I got a nasty cold! My daughter is to thank for that! She brought it home from ECSE to share with us all! It turned into a chest cold & now my tummy area hurts from all the coughing I've been doing! I'm sure next week will be better!!!
You Should Weigh 150
If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!
10/18/04
Hey everyone! Well, today is 3 weeks post-op!! I am now on pureed foods! Yeah, I know, pureeds aren't the greatest, but I'm SO happy to be able to have more varieties of food to taste now!! I had a bit of Cream of Wheat for breakfast, some leftover potato soup for lunch....later through out the rest because it didn't sit right with me. I didn't dump but it was just too fatty! I don't know how much fat is in it, it came from Tony Roma's! For dinner I had some mashed potatoes w/gravy & some pureed blackberries with a tad of whipped cream!! Of course I took my multi-vites, B12 & calcium supplements. It was a good day. Everything is looking up. I'm finally starting to feel really positive about this surgery....the first couple weeks are just REALLY hard! Now, I just gotta get out & exercise again. My icky chest cold set me back & now that I'm feeling good, I have NO excuse!!! I really wish I belonged to a health club. I seem to do better with getting my exercise when I belong to one....it's just more fun!! We just can't afford it right now. I'd just LOVE it if a health club would waive the fees. I know they don't do that, but that would be neat! Then I could be their poster girl, in their commercials....well, that'll never happen!!
Today's weight, 244 lbs.
Day of surgery weight, 262 lbs.
Beginning of journey, mid-May, 285 lbs.
10/28/04
Well, my 1 month anniversary has come and gone! I feel so much better than my first few days post-op!!! Now I can hardly tell that I had surgery! My scar reminds me. I guess I'm not used to this yet. I sat down to eat scrambled eggs today & for the first bite, I forgot that I had to chew the heck out of it!! Sure enough, it clogged, BUT I must've chewed fairly well because it was only stuck for about 5 minutes without me having to grab for a coke. I still have to work on portion control....I need to stop when I feel SATISFIED! I haven't eaten too much to the point of puking, BUT I find myself, at times, eating as much as what a 3 month post-op would probably eat. I also have to work on getting in my exercise. I did fine with getting out & walking UNTIL I got my horrible chest cold & exercise went downhill from there. It's hard to start up again, but I'm not giving up!!
I saw the bariatric nurse the other day.....
Since the start of my journey in May, I've lost....
44 lbs.
1" off arms
4 1/2" off waist
5" off hips
I can't wait until more melts off!!!
My 1 mo. post-op pic!!
11/9/04
Well, for those who like statistics, I have now lost 48 lbs. since May, 25 lbs. since surgery. I feel like my weight loss is going SLOW....I'm on a little mini plateau right now. But on the flip side, I'm really happy about the weight I have lost. I'm feeling good. I think I'm looking great. During this time that my weight is standing still, hopefully inches are trying to melt off! I TRY not to compare myself to others, but sometimes you just can't help yourself!
Today my DH hugged me & said, "WOW! You're getting thinner!!" That made me feel good. He hasn't really been able to tell by looking at me, but he can tell by feeling me. Ok, maybe he's not that visual? Yeah, I know, it's probably because he sees me everyday. Anyways, I was happy by his comment. But, it almost seems like there's a part of me trying to sabotage my happiness. After he said that, my first thought was that I shouldn't be so happy that he's SO excited because he's supposed to like me the same, no matter what I weigh. Isn't that crazy, though? When I get honest with myself, I admit that if he started lifting weights everyday & got buff, I would like that body better than the body he has now. Well, today, that negative voice did not drown out the excitement I felt that DH was starting to notice the weight loss & liking it. But why do these negative thoughts have to try to crowd out my happiness in the first place? And then, I know that at anytime, my hormones are supposed to be haywire & all over the place (they're not yet), so is it just a matter of time before I start believing these negative thoughts? I hope not. Right now, I'm in a happy place!! Oh, and yes, I'd have this surgery again & I'm definitely glad I had it!!!
You Are 56% Open Minded
You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.
11/27/04
Happy 2 mo. anniversary to me!! Thanksgiving went great. Nothing got stuck & I was able to enjoy some pie! As of today, I've lost 36 lbs. since surgery...59 since my first visit with the bariatric nurse in May. I was feeling down about the weight I've lost thus far, BUT felt better this morning when the scale went down 3 1/2 lbs. since yesterday morning! I've been thinking that I'm one of the slowest losers & that my metabolism must barely work, but I found out that I'm probably just being overdramatic & by summer, I should be very happy with weight lost! But seriously, I really have to watch my chocolate intake. Of course I don't take in near as much as I used to but I'm feeling like a pig! Oh, I really need to get my butt in gear with the exercise. It's SO hard when you have to work out at home....it's just BORING!! How I wish I still belonged to the YMCA & could do bodypump classes!
I have met my 1st goal!!! I can now comfortably wear my Columbia winter jacket!! Now I have to work on figuring out what my next goal will be!!
2 mos. post-op
12/5/04
Tomorrow I am 10 wks. post-op. It seems surgery was so long ago, but not that long ago at the same time. Today my scale showed me weighing 223 lbs. That would be 62 lbs. lost since May or 39 lbs. lost in 10 weeks which averages out to be 3.9 lbs. lost a week. I guess those numbers aren't bad, huh? Yeah, I was bummed about the weight not coming off faster but when I look at it as 3.9 lbs. lost a week in 10 wks, it makes me feel better.
Today I feel so weak, but I am emotionally drained. My best friend of 24 yrs. is having a hard time with my weight loss. She's got a weight problem as well, BUT, not overweight enough to qualify for surgery....she'd have to gain quite a bit in order to qualify. Well, I believe I still weigh more than her & slightly bigger than her, but barely. She told me she would no longer enjoy shopping with me because she wouldn't be able to shop at the clothing stores I could because of her size. And then I found out from a mutual friend that my weight loss is really bugging her & that it's hard for her to even look at me. I'm so sad. I've always been there for her & feel like I've given 110% towards our friendship. When I think back through the years and am honest with myself, I would say in our friendship, I probably get only 50% in return. So, maybe it's time for our friendship to die, as I'm now at a completely different place in my life then she is in hers. She's depressed right now & I'm sure that doesn't help matters any. It seems that she always has problems & I'm always trying to help her, but my hands are tied now. Only she can help herself at this point. As far as our friendship, the ball is in her court. Perhaps I should just give her time and space, yet at the same time, if she takes too long, I can't guarantee that I'll be there with open arms. I've got a lot on my plate & have to go forward with my life, with or without her. Time will tell what happens, I guess!
12/13/04
On Saturday, I went to Fuddruckers with people from the MN message board & had a great time. It really is nice to get together with people who know what you went through & what you're going through. Somebody posted that although you may meet someone from the board for the first time, it can seem as though you've been friends forever. That is so true. It's so nice to have a special bond with so many people. So, for any newbies/lurkers reading this, I strongly recommend getting involved with people from your state message board!!
Well, it looks like my weight loss is stalling at the moment, but this is normal for me. I usually go every other week not losing any & sometimes I don't lose for 2 weeks at a time!! But, I'll keep on getting in my liquids, eating the required amount & trying to exercise to make sure my metabolism is running high!! Today, I'm at 219 lbs. & I'm VERY anxious to make it to 215!! So, why 215?? Well, it's simple. For the first time, I will be as close to 200 as I was to 300 last May!!! That I see as an accomplishment!!!
Your Hair Should Be Purple
Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional.
You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.
12/28/04
I'm 3 mos. & 1 day post-op! I had my 3 mo. post-op nurse visit today & that went really well!!! Here are my stats:
BP: 98/60!!! (It was 146/90 at the start of my journey)
Weight: 216 -- was 212 first thing this morning, in the nude!! (Using this morning's weight, that's 73 lbs. lost since May, 50 lbs. lost since surgery day)
Mid arm: 13 3/4" (2 1/4" lost since May)
Waist: 41 1/2" (8" lost since May)
Hips: 51" (9" lost since May)
I have to start taking Iron now.....I hope that goes ok. The nurse tells me not to worry about getting a balanced diet yet as long as I get my protein in. I was going to start a balanced diet because I'm starting to have constipation problems & don't want to take Milk of Magnesia. Iron will just make things worse in that department....perhaps I'll have to get some benefiber or something like that.....maybe just start eating a high fiber cereal for breakfast.
I'm sort of bummed about the weight loss, but only because I'm trying to see into the future. I know that in the next 3 months, I'll lose a lot less than I have in the past 3 & I guess I'm afraid that I won't weigh much less by the time I'm 6 months post-op. I know I'm worrying about nothing. Weight loss will happen....it's inevitable. Well, basically, I want to be less than 200 lbs. by the 6 month mark....the farther away from it, the better, but I'd like to be in the mid 180's at the very least. Perhaps I should just take what I can get? I just know that weight loss is a little harder to achieve after the 6 month mark & in case I were to stop losing, I'd like to be around a weight I could live with.....yeah, I'm probably worrying about nothing!
Anyway, I love to see the stats but what I'm most excited about is the blood pressure. I've NEVER had blood pressure that low--at least to my knowledge!!! It's proof that I'm healthier & that makes me really happy. It's how I should be for being only 30 yrs. old!!!
Oh....I gotta tell you all about Christmas!!! It was great!! I got so many compliments & these family members that complimented me just saw me a month before at Thanksgiving but said that I've changed a lot, even since then!! WOW, I guess a month can make a big difference! I didn't know that I've changed that much in 1 month, but if everyone else thinks so, I'll believe them!!! Oh, and as far as food....ham goes down REALLY well!!! It was so yummy & pouch friendly....at least friendly to MY pouch!!!
3 MOS. POST-OP...Me & my sister
2/2/05
Last week was my 4 mo. anniversary. I weighed in at 204. I wish I weighed less, but it'll do.
So, I'm doing pretty good. I'm liking the way my body is changing & I'm also NOT liking the way my body is changing!! I guess you gotta take the bad with the good. Due to the way my body is changing, I'm having a hard time finding a bra that fits! Oh, & I have to go out & shop for a sports bra too....it's just not cool when the "girls" fall out of your bra in the middle of bodyflow (combo of tai chi, pilates & yoga) class!!!
Nowadays I'm having a lot of trouble with eating ONLY when I'm supposed to. I'm snacking way too much. Truthfully it kind of has me scared. I know that if I stop now, damage hasn't really been done & I'll continue to lose & be successful. BUT, if I don't stop now, it will be so much harder for me down the road. I know why I'm eating....it's out of boredom. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I'm always at home...in these 4 walls. Sure, there's things I can do around the house to keep busy BUT....ok, I admit...I'm lazy. I'm a HORRIBLE stay-at-home type of person. Good mother, lousy housekeeper!!! I HATE cleaning! It's just one of those mundane tasks that sometimes can be overwhelming! For one thing, it's hard to clean when a 2 & 4 yr. old are around. I swear, as soon as I pick something up, it's right back on the floor! Anyway....even with housekeeping, you have down time. I can be playing with my kids or doing just about anything, but am still constantly thinking about eating. I wasn't this obsessed at first. In fact, it was fairly easy for me to stay away from food. But, you introduce the carbs and/or sugar back little by little until one day, BAM! it hits ya & you're addicted yet AGAIN! Yeah...it's true....surgery on the stomach, not on the brain. BUT...I'm pretty lucky. I know/realize what's happening & I have the chance to change it NOW before any real damage is done! So, wish me good luck everyone!! Everyday from here on out will be a challenge. But with this tool, I can do it.
So, I'll be updating soon. In a little over a week (Feb. 13th) I will be seeing Dr. Dan Carey. I will be underwater weighed. I'll find out how much lean muscle mass I have & from there a reasonable goal weight will be decided. I will also have my basal metabolic rate tested, so I'll know how many calories I burn at rest. Anyway, all good info to have & I recommend EVERYONE to get this done!! I'll let you all know what I find out & I'll let you know how I'm doing on getting the snacking under control!!!
4 mos. post-op
2/27/05
Today I'm 5 months post-op! I'm doing fairly well. I'm feeling great & that's the most important!! I'm still snacking, unfortunately, but I'm doing better with it!! I'm not snacking quite as much!
I saw Dr. Dan Carey on the 13th. I have 128 lbs. of lean muscle mass. Taking that into account, he gave me 3 different goal weights...160, 150 & 140. He says I can definitely get to 160, but that I could probably do a little better (160 gives me a BMI in the overweight range). He thinks 150 is probably the number for me & it's probably the one I'll go with. He says that I could possibly get to 140, but it maybe unlikely. It's estimated that my body fat percent would be 18% & although I could get there, I'd probably have to be in athletic tip-top shape! Oh, & I got my BMR (basal metabolic rate) & I burn between 1600-1700 calories at rest (I forgot the exact number), which means my metabolism is NORMAL!!
Ok, now for my 5 month update!! Today my weight was 192 lbs. That's 93 lbs. lost since the beginning of my journey in May, 70 lbs. of that lost since my surgery in September. I'm feeling really good about how I look & just feeling good in general!!
I haven't got any food stuck for almost 3 months!! I know some don't have problem with that, but I did for a little while! Unfortunately, my iron pills (vitron-c) get stuck almost everytime I take them!!! When the nurse told me to start taking them, she said they were small enough that they would not get stuck....yeah right!!! Those pills are fairly small but I guess just a tiny bit too large for me!!
So, even though I'm doing fairly well, I am human & I still struggle with things. My husband brings chocolate into the house & it's hard to stay away from it. Some days, it's hard for me to get in all my liquids. Lately it seems that I've had to work extra hard at that!!! Sometimes exercising is really easy for me, as far as getting to the gym, but somedays I really gotta kick my butt out the door & it can be really hard to do so!!! I really had hoped that exercise would become a new obsession of mine....unfortunately NOT!!!
One thing I'm doing a lot better with is portion control!!! I guess when I was newly post-op & first started eating solids, I was so excited & wanted to try EVERYTHING!!! The problem with that is I'm to have ONLY 3 meals a day & to figure out what to eat when....that was hard. I often would eat too much so I could try everything I wanted to. It's weird, but I probably eat a little less now than I did 2 months ago. I'm really listening to my body now & stopping when I'm satisfied. And for some reason, it's easier for me to stop now. I'm still afraid that I will fail at this. I know it can happen & since I've failed at every other diet....I guess I just have to take this day by day & if I mess up one day or at one meal instead of sabotaging myself & eating my emotions, I've gotta pick myself up & do better at the next meal. I guess there is comfort in the fact that if I do mess up, I have a great tool that will help me!!
5 mos. post-op
6 mos. post-op
4/27/05
Well, today is my 7 month anniversary.....sorry I skipped last month! Well, for my 6 month, I got down to 186 lbs. As of last week, I got down to 174 & then I've gained 3 lbs. within the last few days. I'm kind of bummed about it, but not too worried. A couple days ago, I really had a pigout day but have done well since. My 6 month post-op appointment went well. The bariatric nurse seemed really happy with my progress thus far.
So, life is good. It almost doesn't seem like I had surgery. I guess what I mean is that WLS hasn't consumed my life. My life now is the same as it was pre-op except that I'm a little more active....or shall we say, a lot more active? I'm still me except my self-esteem is a lot better. Some people would say that I'm more outgoing, which I probably am, but I still feel so shy at times.
Well, I am technically out of plus size clothing!! I am now a size 14 bottoms. I'm still a L/XL (depending on brand) on top. I'm finally able to purchase a bra at Victoria's Secret (which I did a few weeks ago)!!! I do still purchase items at Lane Bryant, though. Money isn't plentiful nowadays & I know I shouldn't BUT I have a Lane Bryant credit card, so I still go there now & then for bottoms or bras (they carry 36 around now!!!).
So, now that I'm only overweight, I'm starting to focus on other things about me right now. For example, I have these HUGE, BULGING varicose veins on my legs. They are so UGLY!!! Anyway, I have to see the doctor soon for my yearly "girly" exam...maybe I'll ask about them then. I know I'll have to get them stripped. I wonder how long I'd have to be off my feet. It's really important that I get in my exercise right now. I wonder when the best time would be for me to get it done?
Another thing I'm starting to think about is whether or not to get plastic surgery. Yeah, I have awhile yet before I can do anything, but the excess skin is plentiful!! It's embarrassing to be taking a cycling class & seeing my inner thighs jiggle so much during class!!! So, of course, I'm thinking about it. Trying to figure out what would be important to me. Plastic surgery is expensive & I'd be surprised if insurance covered it. I bet more than likely, it would come out of pocket! So, what's more important....my thighs or my tummy...or maybe get them both done? Oh and then I desperately need a butt lift, as well. We can't forget about the "girls" either!!! And if I decide to get them lifted, the surgeon might as well add implants while he's in there!! Soon I maybe able to fly away with my batwing arms....but truthfully, I'm ok with my batwings & am willing to keep them. More than likely, surgery will not be performed there. Thank goodness I have lots of time to think this over & hopefully by the time I'm able to really look into this, maybe skin in one or more of my areas will start to tighten up....maybe in the end I won't need plastic surgery! That would be great!!! Although, I'm sure that the "girls" would still need to be done!!!
Well...this has gotten to be long enough! I'll try to update again soon!
7 1/2 mos. post-op
5/29/05
Well, a couple days ago was my 8 month anniversary. I'm doing well. Unfortunately, my weight is pretty much the same as it was last month. I'm sure a big reason is because I haven't been eating real well. The past couple weeks, I haven't really been eating breakfast.....unless you count the few pieces of chocolate that I have when I get up. And then, I may wait until between 4 to 6 pm before eating "lunch". After that, I may or may not eat dinner. I try to because I know I need the protein, but yet, I don't want to because it's so late. I'm still exercising & if it weren't for that, who knows, maybe I would've gained? Well, I promised myself that I would get back on track after this weekend. I really want this to work & I'm not ready to stop losing yet. I still have 20 lbs. that I want to lose. Now is the time to get my shit together. Wish me luck. I know I can do it!!! Oh, I also have to start taking my vitamins on a more regular basis!!! Well, this morning I weighed in at 171 AGAIN!!! My goal is to be somewhere in the 160's a month from now when I go in for my 9 month check-up at the bariatric office. I'm going to try really hard!!!
Well, tonight I hung out with my best friend & we decided to be silly & do a "photo shoot"!! I'm putting a few on here as my 8 month post-op photos!! I'll update again next month, or sooner if something major happens!!!
8 month post-op pics!!!
6/19/05--Me & my bestfriend, Jen
7/6/05
Well, I'm a little late for posting on my 9 month anniversary, but close enough! First of all, unfortunately, I have not taken a 9 month post-op pic yet, but will get on that this week!!
My 9 month post-op appointment with the bariatric nurse went great! She seemed pleased with my progress & we talked some about my demons (SNACKING). I'm going to try hard to kick myself in the ass to keep up the exercise & to refrain from chocolate as much as possible. I feel like my weight loss window is closing & want to see just how low I can go....within reason, of course!! Oh, I got measured at this appointment & am pleased with my stats! 4 1/2" lost off my arm, 14 1/4" lost off my waist & 17 1/2" lost off my hips!! I'm 9 lbs. away from my personal goal weight, which means I've lost 126 lbs.!!!
Life is good. My excess skin is starting to bug me a little. I keep wondering what my tummy would look like without the skin apron. I can't complain, though. I'd take my body, sagging parts & excess skin, anyday over the body I had prior to surgery. I LOVE looking in the mirror, now! Yeah...perhaps I'm a bit stuck on myself, but I can't help it!! I look at myself in awe because I still remember the reflection that looked back at me 9 months prior!! Well, it's been a loooong day, so it's off to bed! I'll update again in about another month, if not sooner!
Your Lucky Underwear is Blue
You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them.
You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist.
Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry.
If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.
4/9/2006
I know....it's been SOOO long since I updated. Throughout time, this site has become less & less important to me. I still lurk all the time & sometimes post on the MN message board, but truthfully, I kind of forgot about updating my profile. Yeah....I feel a little bad, afterall, that's one thing that peeved me as a pre-op.....post-ops that stopped updating their profiles! Sorry everyone!!!
Ok, so, I made it to my goal weight (150 lbs). My lowest is 147 lbs. Back in November, when I had strep, my weight dropped down to 140. I don't count that as my lowest because it happened due to sickness & as soon as I was well, it was back up. Currently, my weight is 151 lbs. I'm very happy with that, especially since my weight recently ballooned up to 159 lbs. It's way too easy to gain weight. It was all because of my choices, though. I let all my favorite carbs back in. You really can have a few of your favorites now & then without it negatively effecting you. My problem is, I'm a carbaholic. I have 1 & I just can't stop!! Before I know it, my weight is climbing!!! So, when I saw 159 on the scale, I started to panic. Yeah, I know that 159 is awesome, compared to where I once was. The only thing is, I know just how easy it would be to gain even more & more until I've got all the weight back on, again. It's better to be frantic & get back down now, then to think I'm ok & gaining all that weight back would never happen. That would be pretty naive of me.
I'm still exercising! I'm still a member at the YMCA. Bodypump ROCKS!! I've also discovered a new class....BOOTCAMP! That class kicks my butt, but it's SO good for me!!! I've also joined the Running club!! I never believed I would EVER like to run!!
My life as a whole, is great!! I feel really good about myself! My family life is great! My relationship with my husband is really good! I know my youngest probably doesn't remember me as being fat. I'm not sure about my oldest daughter. When I show her pictures of the old me, often she guesses that they're me, but once or twice, she guessed that the person in the picture was my sister. That's kind of weird, considering my sister is not & never has been, morbidly obese.
I definitely want plastic surgery, but I know I'm pretty lucky, compared to some. I have a little bit of excess skin on my arms, but not much, at all. I'm pretty pleased with them! My thighs are a different story, but I can live with them. I think I dislike the varicose veins more than I dislike the excess skin on them!! My butt isn't pretty, but I'll live with it! The "girls" need to get done!! First of all, where have they gone? No boob, all skin. It's pretty sad! A lift is definitely in my future. Now, after they're lifted, they'll be pretty small. I can live with that, yet at the same time, I figure, while they're in there, the doc might as well enhance them a bit! I don't wish to have a huge chest. I just want them to be in proportion & for them to be where they belong!! Now...on to the tummy! Unfortunately, I have upper abdomen flab, as well as lower abdomen flab. That bothers me. I know that after surgery, some are able to sport a bikini or at least a tankini. Not me! Even if I find generous bottoms, I need to have the upper abdomen covered. So, I hope to get a full tummy tuck! I'm not made out of money. We don't have a lot of it. Right now, surgery is out of the question. My dad has offered to help with the cost, but he just recently found a new job. He hadn't been working since the end of last summer, so he has to play catch-up on the bills & such. I think surgery is in my future, though. I don't know when, but I'll make it happen!!
The spring thaw is at the end of this month! I can't wait to go. It was pretty pricey....especially when you factor in the hotel cost. I hope it's worth it & lots of fun. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I am really excited to get away for a weekend!!!
Well, that's it for now. I'll TRY to update more often!!You Are Strawberry Ice Cream 
A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.
You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.
**WHAT I CAN DO NOW, THAT I COULDN'T DO PRE-OP**
1. Cross my legs
2. Sit with my legs together
3. Walk without thighs rubbing
4. Sex....more variety!
5. Shaving bikini area & being able to see where I'm shaving!
6. Easy time shaving legs
7. Easy time painting toenails
8. Doing the "spider" on the swing with my girls
9. I cut my hair, knowing that my face wasn't too fat!!
10. No problem fitting into the rides at Valleyfair!!
11. I can wear undergarments from Victoria Secret!!
12. I can purchase clothing from just about ANY store!
13. Panties are a lot less expensive!!
14. I DO have a collarbone!!
15. For the 1st time EVER, I weigh less than my husband!!!
16. Hubby's clothes are too big!!
17. Now that I'm not plus size, I can find clothes that I feel are stylish
18. No more worries about heart disease or diabetes!
19. I'm so much more active!!
20. I have so much more energy!!
21. I can take a shower with DH & not hog all the water!!
22. Clothes that I had that were too small are now way too big....they got given away & thrown out!!
23. No longer will I be afraid of being discriminated due to weight!24. DH can lift me!!
25. When I kick back in the tub, the water covers my stomach!!
26. I can tie my shoes AND breathe easily!
27. Wow....I can see MUSCLES!!!
28. It was so great to see the scale DROP!!
29. My weight begins with a 1!!!
30. Life does not revolve around food so much, anymore!!
31. It doesn't feel like I'm being pounded into the pavement when I run! In fact...I joined a running club!!!
32. I can jump rope!!
33. When I rollerblade, it's for longer than a few minutes!!
34. My XL Columbia jacket that was too small...well, I was able to wear it for awhile & now it's too big! I have a friend that was very happy to inherit it!!
35. My butt no longer hangs off restaurant chairs!!
Photos
275
9 mos. pre-op
Member Interests:
Click here to see interests of other ObesityHelp members.
Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: Frederick Johnson, M.D.
So far, I really like Dr. Johnson. He seemed personable and answered all of my questions. I feel good about having him as my surgeon. He really emphasized the aftercare program and how important it is. He also went over again the risks of having this surgery. He wasn't someone that was interested in only telling about the good things about surgery & rushing me to sign on the dotted line. He really wants to make sure you're prepared & that if you're not ready you wait a couple months. He didn't sugarcoat everything
