A Victory in Target

Jan 18, 2013

Once upon a time, I had a dream to wear knee high black leather boots because they were sexy as all hell. I found a pair in my fat girl catalog, and I was so happy to find that they sold them in WW width with extra wide calf. I was horrified when they arrived at my doorstep, and, try as I might, I couldn't zip them up. My legs were too fat.

Two months after surgery, and I tried them on again. I had to torque my leg a bit, but with some extra elbow grease, I managed to zip them up. They were very tight, but they looked good. Four months later, and they zipped up easily, but my feet would get tired when I walked in them. They were a size too big. I've worn them recently, but they are at least one whole size too big for me. I promised myself that when money was a little more plentiful, I'd buy a new pair that would actually fit. 

So today I went to Target with some money, and I tried on every tall black boot in the store. Every single one of them zipped up just fine. I got to pick based on how tall of a heel I wanted. 

Since I had time (and no kids with me), I decided I might as well try on some new jeans finally. For months I've been wearing ill-fitting handmedowns that were mostly too baggy or too tight and not very attractive. I grabbed some size 8s off the rack and shelf. A stretchy skinny pair fit well, but I wanted a second pair in a different style. I went back to try three different fits in size 8, but nothing looked right. There was always this gap around the waist. So I finally tried the size 6s... zipped up just fine, and no awkward gaps. SERIOUSLY. A SIZE 6. 

Very nice. I did a little happy dance. And now I'm wearing them. So freakin' awesome. 

I'm planning on attending a special support group at the hospital in a couple weeks that is especially for post-ops over a year out. Part of me just wants to show off. -- But I've been praying a lot for the surgical nursing staff at the hospital lately. I remember fondly how well they took care of me. I thought, at the time, how odd it must be for them... to be with all these people at the end of an old life and start of a new one. I wonder if they wonder if we'll succeed... if our lives will really be changed. I imagine they would probably be skeptical. I wish I could go and hug them and thank them for their support of me at that fledgling time... and to show them that I didn't screw it up, and that it worked. 

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