Cheri M.
The long Journey
Jul 10, 2007
June 1, 2007
I am so worried about this whole medicaid thing. i can't wait to find out if i'm approved or not, if not then i'll obviously have to move on with my life and try another route but if i am approved then omg!!! i will be so excited and i just won't know what to do with myself....i want this surgery so bad....it will change my whole world. i mean nothing will really change except for inside of me, the way i look at myself and the whole world around me...i mean my weight had always been a thorn in my side, whenever something good would happen i could never be totally happy because i would still worry about what i look like or if people won't like me or want to talk to me because i'm fat. i worry about drivers on the road lookin at me and thinking i'm fat...i worry about everyone thinking bad thoughts about me because i'm fat. i hate being like this and if i'm not fat then i won't think about it anymore. i just want this surgery so bad...please God let this happen for me...please!!!!!
Update....
Tuesday June 19....the day I got the news, the day I've been waiting for!!! I am so excited, I finally got approved and my surgery is set for July 13, which just so happens to be on a fucking friday but oh well....i'm not superstitious.....well, not really, just a little cautious on those days, but I'm sure it will be fine.....I just can't wait for the day to get here.....TWO weeks and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 2, 2007
I met my surgeon today. It sucked cuz I had to drive to Durham, which took 2 1/2 hrs to have a 15 minute conversation with him. But it was a step that had to be taken and puts me one step closer in the process. I felt really comfortable with the doc and he is a nice and friendly person, so that is cool. We joked about how the surgery is going to be on Friday the 13th and he said they would have to play the Fri 13 movie in the background during. I am not superstitious but it still sticks in the back of my mind, seeing as this is such a scary procedure. I go next Monday for my preop appt and to meet with a group of other patients who are going through this at the same time as me. We have a group therapy session to talk about all the issues of preparing for the upcoming surgery. I am so excited, not because it will be fun, but because it is yet another step closer to my big day, the most important day of my LIFE!!!!!
July 6, 2007
The day is getting closer and closer and I can NOT wait!! I'm not scared really or nervous about the actual surgery...but I do have these fears of dying and I just think about my precious baby boy spending his life without his mama and that scares the shit outta me!! I am trying to stay positive though and just keep my head clear of worries. I can't believe it's only a week away! Wish me luck :0)
July 7, 2007
I asked Eddie to take some PreOp pics for me tonite. It was the most depressing thing I've seen in a long time! Ugghh...Thank God I got approved and God forbid anything happen to make me unable to go through with the surgery. I think I might seriously lose my mind if something like that happened. I am glad thought that we took the pics, they will be invaluable later on in a few months....Only 5 days to go!!!!L8r Sk8r
July 9, 2007
I went to Durham for my preop appt today. It was long and tiring, but very informative. It felt good to talk to the other people in the group therapy session. Eddie went with me and I was very glad he did. I've done the whole ten month process all on my own and I'm fine by myself, but it feels good to have someone who cares by your side. Especially as it gets closer and closer. I felt the first bit of nervousness today while at the hospital. I know Friday is going to be really hard, but I am looking forward to the "happy medicine" as the docs call it:0) I hope everything goes well and I just can't wait for the next three days to be over with. The next time I post will be after surgery, so wish me luck!!
I am so worried about this whole medicaid thing. i can't wait to find out if i'm approved or not, if not then i'll obviously have to move on with my life and try another route but if i am approved then omg!!! i will be so excited and i just won't know what to do with myself....i want this surgery so bad....it will change my whole world. i mean nothing will really change except for inside of me, the way i look at myself and the whole world around me...i mean my weight had always been a thorn in my side, whenever something good would happen i could never be totally happy because i would still worry about what i look like or if people won't like me or want to talk to me because i'm fat. i worry about drivers on the road lookin at me and thinking i'm fat...i worry about everyone thinking bad thoughts about me because i'm fat. i hate being like this and if i'm not fat then i won't think about it anymore. i just want this surgery so bad...please God let this happen for me...please!!!!!
Update....
Tuesday June 19....the day I got the news, the day I've been waiting for!!! I am so excited, I finally got approved and my surgery is set for July 13, which just so happens to be on a fucking friday but oh well....i'm not superstitious.....well, not really, just a little cautious on those days, but I'm sure it will be fine.....I just can't wait for the day to get here.....TWO weeks and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 2, 2007
I met my surgeon today. It sucked cuz I had to drive to Durham, which took 2 1/2 hrs to have a 15 minute conversation with him. But it was a step that had to be taken and puts me one step closer in the process. I felt really comfortable with the doc and he is a nice and friendly person, so that is cool. We joked about how the surgery is going to be on Friday the 13th and he said they would have to play the Fri 13 movie in the background during. I am not superstitious but it still sticks in the back of my mind, seeing as this is such a scary procedure. I go next Monday for my preop appt and to meet with a group of other patients who are going through this at the same time as me. We have a group therapy session to talk about all the issues of preparing for the upcoming surgery. I am so excited, not because it will be fun, but because it is yet another step closer to my big day, the most important day of my LIFE!!!!!
July 6, 2007
The day is getting closer and closer and I can NOT wait!! I'm not scared really or nervous about the actual surgery...but I do have these fears of dying and I just think about my precious baby boy spending his life without his mama and that scares the shit outta me!! I am trying to stay positive though and just keep my head clear of worries. I can't believe it's only a week away! Wish me luck :0)
July 7, 2007
I asked Eddie to take some PreOp pics for me tonite. It was the most depressing thing I've seen in a long time! Ugghh...Thank God I got approved and God forbid anything happen to make me unable to go through with the surgery. I think I might seriously lose my mind if something like that happened. I am glad thought that we took the pics, they will be invaluable later on in a few months....Only 5 days to go!!!!L8r Sk8r
July 9, 2007
I went to Durham for my preop appt today. It was long and tiring, but very informative. It felt good to talk to the other people in the group therapy session. Eddie went with me and I was very glad he did. I've done the whole ten month process all on my own and I'm fine by myself, but it feels good to have someone who cares by your side. Especially as it gets closer and closer. I felt the first bit of nervousness today while at the hospital. I know Friday is going to be really hard, but I am looking forward to the "happy medicine" as the docs call it:0) I hope everything goes well and I just can't wait for the next three days to be over with. The next time I post will be after surgery, so wish me luck!!
