CharTake2
When I was 9, I was 100 lbs. At 14, 140 lbs. I went to 116 lbs at age 16 because I ate nothing and exercised all the time. My menses started at 9 years old. Stress from parents breaking up. Feeling loss and unloved. i didn't feel secure. My mother was not an affectionate person - I think I turned to food as a comfort. My dad would ask me if I wanted a dessert only to tell me that I would get ugly legs like my aunt. I've struggled with weight all my life. I have lost weight a zillion times only to gain it all back and more. I have done weight watchers, physician's weight loss, eDiet, etc. I always turned back to food as a comfort. In 2009, was the worse of my life. My beloved father passed away from stroke in February, my grandson was born stillborn April (36 weeks gestation), and then my mother died in November. I remember going for my annual physical in September 10, and discovered I had gained 27 lbs. in one year due to depression. I was really out of it in 2009-2010. I started to come out of the "fog" late 2010, and decided to start getting my life back in control. I started to walk, eat less, eating healthier and aware of what I was eating. Still it was a slow, slow process. I was in a size 24 pants and being short - I looked like a tire was around me front to back. My top weight was 237 lbs. I lost 7 lbs. from September 2010 up until I decided to get to an informational seminar at the Cleveland Clinic late 2010. After getting the go ahead from my manager for all the time committment for appointments, meetings, etc., I started the program. Met with the nutritionist, attended the Get Set programs, psycholigists, all those appointments. My highest BMI was 42 - severe obesity.
My surgery for the Sleeve is Monday, January 16. I'm afraid of all the changes and challenges. I know I have to be committed to eating correctly the rest of my life. On the other hand, I've been on this journey since late 2010 and I believe I have the determination to change my life.
Why did I want this surgery and not another diet? I am 56 years old and with people living longer than ever, I felt that I had many more productive years ahead of me. My father had complications from sleep apnea, irregular heart beat, stroke. My mother died of throat cancer (too many years of smoking). I wanted to live the rest of my life the best I can be and healthy. I am fortunate that I do not have diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, etc. I do have mild sleep apnea, acid indegestion, arthritis, tiredness, urinary stress incontinence (had surgery already for that), skin infections from extra belly fat and under the breast, and hygiene issues.
I had an ex husband who was a mental case. He always put me down in so many ways (verbally, emotional, mental abusive) for so many years. When we divorced, I felt like a chain was lifted around my neck. I actually lost over 50 lbs. after the divorce. Eating better, working out, taking long walks.
I met my current husband (married 12 years now) who loves me for me. He makes me feel beautiful even when I don't feel that I am. He loves my "tire" and all the bulges. He is nervous about this surgery. His late wife was also obese, short, but had heart disease and diabetes and died young at 48 due to a heart condition. My husband loves to cook and to eat, but I have actually been good for him. At one time (with the ex wife) was a 44 waist. With me, he is now a health 34-36 and whenever he gains up to 4 lbs., he gets back on track. His doctor is very impressed and because he has diabetes, he controls his A1C test results pretty well. My husband is afraid that he won't have his "eating buddy" going out to restaurants, movies, etc. Food was a biggie. I am determined that we can still do the things he would like to do but I can eat the minimal bites that will sustain me instead of ruling me.
Wish me luck for my surgery on January 16 and after! I am nervous but hopeful this is God's plan for me.
Thanks everyone!
