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I just got a message from OH that it has been 6 months since my surgery.  I now weigh 135 pounds, down 87 pounds.  I would like to drop another 7 pounds and be at 128.  That would put me at normal weight on the charts.  Not that it's that important, but I so want to be normal.  I have gone from women's sizes to a size 4.  It's so nice to be able to go to the store and be able to shop and put on clothes and feel like you look good.  Now my problem is more that there aren't enough small sizes.  Isn't that weird?  I don't have lots of hangy down skin.  Seems like everything is tightening up pretty normal.  I do have a little bat wing going on with my arms, thighs just a little sloppy and my tummy--well, you couldn't bounce a quarter off of it BUT for the most part, I don't have to tuck in extra skin when I get dressed.  It's funny how people react to me now.  It's weird too that although I look pretty good, it hasn't brought me social happiness.  I am still very alone.  Not that you have to have a man in your life, but it sure would be nice to have someone to share times with.  It's kind of like I have this cute little package now, but no one to share it with.  

Work is going well.  I have more self confidence now.  One of the ladies that I work with told me that there was nothing wrong with me before.  She said I was still the same person inside and people cared about me.  She said that now I am more outgoing, but still the same sweet person.  I told her that I don't mind having people look at me now.  I don't feel like they're thinking, she has a pretty face but oh the rest of her!  Strange how your concept of self is determined by size.

I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 142 pounds.  That makes a grand total of an 80 pound loss.  It is just absolutely amazing to me.  Thinking back, it really hasn't been much of an effort.  I believe that I have changed my eating habits.  If I have a taste of something I'm satisfied instead of before when I had to eat the whole thing!  My energy level continues to go up.  I'm no longer satisfied with just sitting around on the couch.  

I went back to the doctor last month and they did a complete blood test again.  Everything was well within normal settings so I don't have to take any prescription vitamins or anything else.  She said they would get in touch with me in a year and make another appointment.  I told the doctor that I didn't seem to have trouble with a pretty steady weight loss.  She said that will change and if I want to lose more I'll need to exercise.  I do walk lots.  It feels so good to walk now.  My legs don't bump in to each other and I can wear shorts and look nice (as nice as a 52 year old woman looks in shorts)!!

My size 10 slacks are getting baggy on me.  Even the size 8 that I bought is sort of lose.  Who would have ever thought that a single digit would fit on this body.  I've noticed that boys are noticing me a little more lately too.  That's sure a curious feeling.  I did meet one man that I went out with a couple times and we had we had great fun.  Then he told me he was seeing someone else but still wanted to see me as a friend.  Guess even a big weight loss doesn't take creeps out of your life.  I was very disappointed but life moves on.  I just don't know where to meet a nice gentleman friend--maybe there aren't any out there.

I think my ultimate wild crazy goal is to weigh 128 pounds.  That means only 14 pounds to go.  At that weight, I would be within the guidelines to be normal.  I kind of wonder if that will make me too thin.  My bones are starting to show now.  I do have some belly chub.  I don't have a great deal of droopy skin either.  I think most of my droop comes from my age.  A friend suggested that I take a vitamin with cologen in.  I might try that.  I was invited to a wedding and I borrowed a size 6 little black dress from my daughter and it fits NICE!!!  The wedding is Sept 14, I'm making it a celebration of my new me.  

This has to be absolutely without question the best surgery and thing I could have done for myself. 

I stepped on my bathroom scale this weekend and my new weight is 165 pounds.  Only 7 more pounds to go before i'm just considered overweight instead of obese but more importantly 57 pounds down from my starting weight.  It's incredible how much better I feel.  I know I look different but I don't feel like I look really great.  When I look at some of the before and after photos on this web site I'm astonished.  I'm hoping that I too will be one of those WOW pictures.  I'm enjoying working in my yard so much more this year than ever before.  I can actually bend over, pull weeds, plant flowers, comfortably and don't feel out of breath or uncomfortable.  

I have really kicked up my fluid intake.  I just love those little packets that you can add to your water bottle.  I buy a big bottle of water and put the little packet in, I like it diluted more than what the packet calls for.  I saw an infomerical on TV this weekend for a red stool contraption that you sit on and twist.  The concept is that it tones your abdomen and sides.  If it works, I would be in heaven.  I ran out to one of those "As Seen on TV" stores and bought one.  Tonight I'm going to put it together and watch the DVD.  My torso is my biggest hurdle to firm up and tone.  I've tried doing sit ups but what a joke.  I just am not sure if I join a gym I would use it often enough to justify the expense.  I've joined them twice before and paid every month to not use them.  Time is just a concern, I work two jobs and there just isn't hardly enough time to get the laundry done so how can I go to a gym?  This little machine is a start for me.  I'll see where it goes from there.

I tried on a pair of size 10 blue jean shorts I had bought a couple weeks ago.  They were snug around my waist, I had a little tire thing going on but I could zip them without laying on the bed.  That felt good.  After I wore them a time, they felt better in the waist but I still need to work on that section.  I went to JC Penney and they had a huge sale on dress slacks.  I bought 2 pair for $8.99 each.  I thought that was a great deal.  I bought size 10.  It has been YEARS since I even had a smidge of a dream to fit in to a size like that.

I am having a little trouble with hair loss.  Not huge but there does seem to be a few more strands in the shower than I was used to seeing.  Maybe I'm just more conscious of that now that I know you possibly can have hair loss.  My hair has always been fine and I do have it dyed to hide all that premature grey (premature--who am I kidding!) but I would still have had the surgery even if all my hair would fall out.  I'm sure many people who have WLS have problems but I sure have not.  The few things that were sort of a struggle are working out, those I feel were minor adjustments.  Things like eating beef and not chewing it really really well before swallowing.  Bread doesn't go down all that well either.  It almost seems like the things that probably aren't the best for you are the things that you have trouble eating.  Vegetables taste and sit great in my stomach.  Sometimes I forget that I am only 3 1/2 months out from surgery.  Feels like I have been like this all my life. 

Today is the first day of summer.  The weather is not incredibly hot or anything, maybe it feels better outside because I don't have all that extra weight hanging on me.  I'm concerned that my belly fat won't go away or if I do lose weight I'll have lots of extra skin just hanging.  I have lost 54 pounds as of today.  I think I should probably stop weighing myself daily.  I get discouraged when the scale doesn't go down at a faster rate.  Someone came to my office that hasn't seen me for awhile.  She asked if I lost weight becasue I looked so different.  I had a pink oxford blouse on and a pair of grey slacks with the shirt tucked in and a belt on.  Can't remember the last time I wore a belt and it looked nice on me.  

I drove my motorcycle to work today--67 miles one way.  I was going to leave early today but the bike wouldn't start so here I am still at work waiting on the shop to come pick me up and bring me and the bike home.  I can't tell you how much I looked forward to riding back home in the fresh air.  Normally, before WLS, I would have immediately gone to the snack machines and filled that frustration up with food.  Instead, I'm writing here waiting as patiently as I think I can.  Old habits die hard but stress eating is what put me in those size 22's and coping in other ways will keep me healthy and in the misses section of the clothing store.  Maybe I'll just go sit outside and soak up some sunshine while I wait.  Sometimes life just tests you to see how resiliant we are.

This is day 2 of my temporary assignment and is there lots to do!  It's difficult when no one has followed rules and then they are expected to do what the company requires.  Not all that different from all the diets I have done and things I have done to my body prior to WLS.  Now I'm working on following the rules and doing what is best for my body and mind.  I walked my dogs last night just before we got a huge rain.  I decided to dust off my treadmill in the basement that I have dragged to the last 3 places I have lived and almost never used.  It sort of doesn't work anymore.  It used to be able to elevate to give you a better workout and also had some digital displays for miles walked, time and calories used.  The poor little guy is pretty much a flat belt that works--which is the most important part anyway I guess.  I walked for an hour.  I'm going to try to increas the time either every day or every week.  This morning when I weighed myself I was down to 169.  I haven't seen the 160's for many, many years.  Just 11 more pounds to go before I'm 'overweight' instead of 'obese'.  

After I got done walking, I went in to a closet with clothes that I haven't worn for many years also.  I started trying on blouses and to my amazement, they fit!!  Did I say I went out and bought a couple new bras?  Not only have I lost weight on my entire body, but it never dawned on me that my bra size would change also.  Amazing what a good bra does for clothes!  I was getting worried that I wouldn't have any tops and I found about 6 new blouses that fit nicely.  I think I better start wearing them now before I'm not able to fit in them for a better reason than weight gain!  

I still feel kind of round.  My belly isn't going down very fast.  Although I have noticed that I don't have that hanging down belly.  It is more just round there now instead of droopy.  I tried doing some sit ups but that was a fiasco.  I did two and thought I was going to die.  I need to figure out some better exercise to tighten up my tummy than a sit up.  I considered buying that 'bean' thing that I see in infomercials but just haven't gotten to the point of feeling good about spending $70 on an inflatable thing.  Maybe I'll change my mind at a later date.  I still have the 6 month membership to the gym at the hospital where I had the surgery but it isn't incredibly convenient for me to get there.  

I was thinking back today on my drive to work, I now drive an hour each way, of all the things I was so concerned with prior to the surgery.  I have found that not many foods disagree with me.  Mostly have trouble eating beef and sometimes chicken, depending on how the chicken is cooked.  I am able to drink water easily.  Not big gulps but norman drinking.  Water actually tastes really good.  My favorite desert is a popsicle, not a blizzard from Dairy Queen.  My life is really very normal and I don't think anyone would know I had WLS, even if we go out to a restaurant.  I take more time to play with my food when eating with others.  I haven't eaten bread since WLS and I don't really miss it.  I have also not had a soda for two months prior to surgery and I really don't miss it.  Funny how we think we can't live without something and then once we free ouselves from it, it's no big deal.  The incisions are pretty dark but I think that over time, that too will change.  Today is my 3 month anniversary for the surgery.  I have lost about 18 pounds a month.  The really wonderful thing about that is I don't believe those pounds will come back.  I'm working to change eating habits and staying busy.  The more busy I stay, the less I frett about food.  Even in stressful times when I want to reach for food, I distract myself with another task and pretty soon the urge has passed and I've conquered that mind hunger.  What a blessing this has been for me.  I feel so much more confident and better about myself.  I would still like to lose another 40 pounds, but if I don't, the world won't come to an end.  It is so good to feel healthy!!

I stepped on my bathroom scale today and it said 172.8.  I have gotten to a point that the scale doesn't move very fast.  I always remind myself that my knees don't hurt anymore and I haven't taken one aspirin since the surgery.  The doctor told me that exercise would become my best friend in the weight loss game.  I still haven't gotten to the point that I am exercising enough.  I'm stuck in the rut of walking my dogs 1.5 miles a day.  I did go out and buy a DVD player for my basement TV thinking that one of these days I will pop in a movie and walk on the treadmill while it is playing.  Haven't quite gotten there either.  I have started working at my assignment and I see that I am going to have to start planning better.  I went out on my lunch today and bought some grapes.  They were good but I'm sure in another couple hours my body will be in need of protein.  I got a bill from the insurance company yesterday saying I owed the cosurgeon from the surgery $8500.  WOW!!  I phoned them today and the finance person at the doctor's office said don't worry about it, she will be sending in her documentation of why the cosurgeon was necessary and it will be taken care of.  I'm so happy;  I just started remodeling my downstairs bathroom and a new bill would certainly put the end to that project.  I'm going to put in a jacuzzi tub.  I think that will feel ever so nice in the months ahead.  I'm going to pamper myself with things other than food.  Tonight it's back to yard work, the lawn needs mowing again.  I need to pick up some mulch too.  It's still amazing to me that I am enjoying being out in the yard and doing things.  My flowers are really starting to look nice.  New spring, new me. 

It was a rainy dreary weekend here.  The good thing was that I didn't have to water all the plants and the little garden I put in.  I decided to stay busy in my house.  I packed up a bunch of my clothes a few weeks ago and gave them to a friend of mine.  I got another bag full of clothes this weekend.  The lady that I gave the clothes to came to see me and she was wearing one of my old outfits.  Even at my heaviest, I didn't think I looked all that bad.  Of course, you would never catch me looking in a mirror either!  Although I haven't been on the losing side for all that long, I was surprised to see her in the outfit that used to fit me and think that I was actually that size.  She is a good friend and I would never hurt her feelings, but I know that her health is suffering from carrying all that weight around.  Our bodies must change before the scale does because this weekend I went out and bought a few pairs of size 12 petite pants and they fit nice but the scale has not dropped significantly.  I also did not have a bathroom scale at home so I went to a department store that was having this huge sale and bought one.  I was sort of glum after I opened it up and found the height, weight and BMI chart.  I will have to lose another 18 pounds before I am categorized as overweight instead of obese.  Isn't that funny???  I went in my basement last night and dusted off the cobwebs from my treadmill.  I'm not sure if it will still run but tonight I'm going to give it a try.  With the weather as rainy as it is, I would still like to be able to walk but not feel drowned when I'm doing that.  
Starting next week, I will be doing a job at another city for about 3 months.  Not real far away from where I live, about an hour each way.  I'm getting excited for the new challenge and looking forward to seeing what changes happen with me while I am gone.  The people I see every day hae noticed that I'm losing weight but I think when I am gone from sight for that time frame, when I return they should really notice.  Most of them don't know that I had WLS.  I remember how freaked out I used to be when anyone told me they were going to have that done.  Maybe some day I'll fess up but not right now.  For me, the key to being successful with this surgery and new life is staying busy and keeping a positive outlook.  I still have some trouble getting in all the water that I should in a day.  Wonder if I make myself drink more, if I will eat even less?  Maybe one of these days when I feel really bold, I will try out one of those on line dating things just to meet someone to talk to besides my dogs.  I believe that I will still have to feel better about myself before I take that dramatic step.  I am planning a trip to see my daughter and new little grandson in July.  Bet she'll be surprised how I look.  I took a bold step last week and had my hair highlighted.  Not sure how that's working out for me yet.  At least my hair didn't fall out like some of the problems that you could have with the surgery. 

I decided this weekend that my old blue jeans just were not cutting it any more.  I went to the store and bought a size that I didn't think would fit.  I bought a size 14 petite jean.  I couldn't try them on in the store, I was too embarassed.  I just knew they wouldn't fit and then I would be all depressed.  There was also a sale on light jackets and I bought a size petite large.  When I got home, I put on those slacks and to my sheer surprise, they not only zipped, but there was not tummy hanging over any part of the waist.  I put on the jacket and that fit.  I could even zip it up without any unsightly bulges anywhere.    I have begun packing up all my clothes that are certainly too big now.  I will give them to a friend of mine, who is considering this surgery, or take them to good will if she doesn't want them.  Hard to believe for me that even though I am losing now, I will never turn back to the size I was before.  I am beginning to understand all the others when they talk about their second birthday.  It's like you are reinventing yourself but you don't have to change inside, only on the outside.  This is certainly one of the best feelings I have had in a very long time.  Everyday I wonder if this will be the day that the weight stops coming off and I stay where I am.  Hope not though, my middle still needs some reductions.  The scale said 182 this morning when I weighed myself.  That's 40 pounds down from the date I stepped on the scale at the hospital.  I was so discouraged after the surgery when I left the hospital the same weight as when I came in.  I'm hoping that by next week I'll be in the 170's.  What a hoot that will be.  I thank God for the opportunity to do this, I know He is watching out for me. 

Hard to believe that tomorrow it will be two months since surgery.  It's amazing to me how great I feel.  I have lost 37 pounds.  I have read stories of others who have lost a greater amount than that, and wish I could be them, but I am glad I'm down the amount I am.  My mind seems to be playing tricks on me though.  I feel like this will be like all the other diets, I have lost a good amount but tomorrow the scale will start creeping back up and I'll gain it back.

My doctor is very pleased with my process.  She said I need to step up my exercise.  I have just been walking my dogs.  I'm still a little nervous about signing up for a gym.  Not sure if I'm the lifting weights type.  Also, I still feel puffy.  

My old clothes look pretty silly on me.  The pants are very big.  I don't feel like I am losing much weight around my middle but I know I must be.  I am able to tolerate most foods really well.  The only thing I truly miss is a good salad.  I've been scared to try to eat that.  My favorite thing to eat for a treat in the evening has become a sugar free popsicle.  They are wonderful!!  I'm considering digging out all my old vegitarian cook books.  I really enjoy the veggies more than the meat.  Fish is good, but even chicken doesn't sit very well at times.  I think I'm ready to start cooking and being more careful how much I eat.  

Not only has the scale gone down, but my knees have not hurt once.  I was on a steady diet of aspirin or alieve prior to the surgery.  Now when I get up and move around, it takes me a few seconds to realize, nothing hurts when I move.  What a treat!!

Next doctor appointment is in August.  Wonder what I'll look like then???

Drove myself to the hospital and the surgery is over and I'm home!

It was different than I expected.  Guess I wasn't sure what to really expect.  I feel tired and sort of burpy.  I'm so afraid of eating anything because I don't want to throw up.  

Had some really terrific nurses in the hospital--especially the last two days.  One nurse had this same surgery 7 years ago.  She was so sweet and said to expect to feel many different feelings over the next few weeks.  She said she would certainly have it done again and that most likely I will feel that same way too.  She said she has to be careful what she eats, there are some things that just don't agree with her but for the most part she's not restricted.  

I'm concerned that there is swelling on the top side of my stomach above the incisions.  The nurse said expect some because this was just major surgery.  The doctor wants to see me back in two weeks.  I only took pain medication the first two days.  Haven't used anything since.  Had I known what it felt like to have a drain removed, I would have had someone pump me up with something before that tug on the cord.

Time for another nap.  If anyone knows how long this tired thing lasts, please let me know.  Don't think I lost anything from my hospital checkin to checkout.  YUCK!!!