Cassandra Blake

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my labs come back perfect.  the weight gain is just me eating more than i burn.  lack of personal accountability.  no more no less.  reviewed what worked in 2005:1000 cals a day and working out 4 days a week minimum. 

Well, I had a protein shake for breakfast and lunch. Supper was boiled skinless chicken, sauteed squash, green beans. Dessert was a frozen banana. Drank coffee, water, and diet soda today, took 2 vitamins. Pretty good me thinks. Oh and I talked to Kelly about my carb and sugar cravings. I found out Danny has sugar addiction too.

I did pretty good today. I kept a log of what I ate, had healthier meals, and went to the Ythis evening. Overall I am proud of myself. :)

I quit smoking at the end of August. I have gained a lot of weight. I haven't been to the YMCA in 2 months. I haven't been holding myself accountable or being responsible. I am proud that I quit smoking, and I am trying hard to find positive addiction to replace my negative addiction. My boyfriend is awesome, my job is doing great. I am so blessed. I guess I just need to get back on the wagon. I am thinking about seeing a therapist cause I don't understandmy grazing, I'm not hungry, I'm just eating it cause it taste good.

 

Dec, 29, 2003: Well hello again, I made it thru Christmas. I have now lost 106 pounds. I am still wearing 18's even though they are loose. My shoulder blades are actually pronounced now :D LOL I made it through Christmas without any sugar... until the day before yesterday, I had one half a teaspoon of a chocolate peanut butter fudge thingy... it was soooooo sweet. It wasn't as good as I had remembered either, and I did not dump on it. I don't think that is a good thing. I do not want to be able to eat sweets! Sweets was one of the major reasons why I was morbidly obese. I gave into a craving and then I felt so guilty after. It wasn't even good either. I know sugar is sugar, and I drink 4 oz of orange juice or half and half of apple juice(half water half juice), heck I even drink a wine cooler time to time, and that is sugar too, but they don't seem to bother me. I am finding myself snacking here lately on cheetos and sour cream and onion potatoe chips. I don't have them everyday, but sometimes on the weekend I do. I can eat more different stuff now. Like I can eat half a slice of pizza, or half a sandwich. (minus the bottom slice of bread). I got a chicken teriaki sandwich from subway the other day, and taken off the bottom slice, and given 3 hours to eat it, I was able to eat the whole 6 inch sub. and it was good LOL. (We were traveling so had to have something to go). I still have not eaten a steak or a pork chop or anything like that, still too scared. I realize now that if I am not working, I can eat more. I actually can get around 1000 calories a day if I am not working.( ahh Christmas vacation) But during the week I put in about 10 to 11 hours a day and make good money but I am so busy I do not have time to eat. (I have a production-type job).. That is why I was only getting in 500 calories a day during the week. I know I should exercise more, that is my big downfall and biggest weakness, everyone is exercising all the time except me because I work so much during the week, but on the weekend I walk like crazy. I walk all over the mall, on the beach, around wal mart, the park, anywhere. Anyways, I guess I am doing good still. I have lost 106 pounds in 6 months. Thats around 17 pounds a month so not too bad. I can pretty much eat anything now, as long as it don't have a tough consistancy, or it hard to chew up. I have even eaten a little bit of rice and pasta, although I cannot eat much of it because it fills me so quickly. I mean like 2 bites of pasta and thats it. I still favor my water , and sugar free kool aid the best. I love homeade chili with cornbread mixed together, I like grits now, thin crust pizza, love tuna fish, baked fish of any kind, steamed shrimp, salads, bean burritos with sour cream,. these are some of the things I can eat now, that I couldnt eat 3 months ago. I have pretty much the same thing my hubby eats, only small portions of it. and he knows when I have had enough because I get this "look" on my face LOL. and he just takes my plate and says don't push it baby LOL. Well I hope you had a blessed Christmas, talk to you later!


January 5th, 2004
Happy New Year My Friends! Hope you all had a fun and safe NYE. I went to a party and got all kinds of compliments that made me feel really weird! LOL I need to share with you ONE THING THAT WILL GET YOU INTO THE ER REALLY FAST. DRINK WITH YOUR MEAL. This past Saturday night I went to the ER at 10pm and did not get done till 7am Sunday morning. I ate 7 small shrimps, and 3 bites of chicken and yes, drank my sugar free tea right with my dinner. Immediately sharp pains, I had to leave right then. That was at 7pm Sat evening. By 9pm I thought I was going to die. The pain was so intense I just cannot explain. After an hour and 15 minute wait, they took me back, started an iv, and gave me morphine (thank you God). I had to drink a nasty drink, and they took x rays. No blockage. Get off the x ray table, throw up, back to ER. The doc comes in and does a rectal exam (oh joy). Everything fine. Here comes nurse with more morphine (oh I love you) The back off the bed, into the wheelchair, throw up again. Off to the cat scan room. Throw up on the way there (am now carrying my own bucket). Cat scan shows everything normal. No diverticulitis, pollups, or kinks. Got two cyst on the left ovary but I knew that already. (I've had pcos for a long time) Now the dr wants to do a pelvic exam to check ovary. Back off the table (throw up again) and go into yet another room. I get the good ol pap smear (oh joy) and everythings normal. Now all this time I was throwing up, it was clear like water but frothy. So I knew my food was already in my small intestine and each time the intestine was trying to make it move on down, I was crying in agony, because it was flushed thru my pouch too fast. Well finally the pain is gone, combo of 6 hours past and the morphine. We ruled out alot of other stuff, but he never said what was the cause of my pain. But I think I knew what it was. And yes, he did call Dr. Harris after the cat scan and told him I had no blockage or kinks, so Harris did not come up there. I was released around 7 am in the morning, after being pricked and prodded and stuck and xrayed and scanned and prodded again, I was wore slap out. Anyway, please know that just when you think you can cheat, and say, oh I can drink with my meals,.. guess what... it will come back and bite you in the butt one day. I am still at 184, no change since last update weight wise, but I am losing inches. Clothes are fallling off LOL. Take care!


January 21, 2004: Hello again friends, I hope this finds you well. I have been on a 3 week plateau. I don't know what is wrong. I have only been eating about 600 calories a day. Common sense tells me that if you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. I guess I am just frustrated. I really hate plateaus. But I do have some good news. I can now wear a size 14 in jeans. I can wear a regular size large in t shirts. and I actually bought my clothes in the regular size clothes (not the plus size section). I even purchased a size medium in a pair of dress slacks last weekend. I was so shocked. I have not wore 14's since like the 8th grade. LOL I am still not exercising like I should. I even called around and got the prices of a few gyms. That is probably the root of my problem (not enough exercise).. anyhow, the scale hasn't moved in 3 weeks but my waist is shrinking. go figure. I still pretty much eat anything I want. I just eat small portions. Like this morning, I had like 2 or 3 small bites of scrambled egg, and a piece of bacon that was like 4 inches long, and I was full. I think our pouches must shrink overnite, because it seems I can eat more at suppertime, but in the morning I cannot eat but a few bites. Then for lunch I had 1/2 cup of vegtable soup, and 1/2 cup lite yogurt. For supper I had about a cup of pintos and cornbread mixed together. I have been very good about NOT DRINKING WITH MY MEALS. Oh man, I do not ever want to go thru what I went thru at the ER ever again. I am taking my vitamins everyday. I took my b 12 this week. Here is a surprise for you, you know I have pcos and have to take birth control to make me have a monthly, well this month I started it all on my own, because I was just curious to see if I would. I have read that sometimes when you lose over 100 pounds you will start having your period own your own. Now if this happens 4 months in a row that would be ultra kewl. But I am afraid of getting prego before losing it all, so I will probably take them again next month anyway. I am more active on the weekends now then ever before, and shopping for clothes is actually enjoyable now. Its weird how all of a sudden, you can choose what your style is, instead of buying just what you can find in your size and hope it looks good. Funny thing is, I am not really sure what my style is. I have always wore clothes that hid my body. Primary jeans or leggings and a huge t shirt and covered my tummy and my huge butt. I had to have comfortable tennis shoes, because my feet hurt so bad from carrying all that weight around, god forbid I wear a pair of dress shoes, that didnt have 3 or 4 inches of padding in the soles.. So now shopping is kinda weird for me, because I have to actually choose outfits and matching shoes lol My husband took me dancing last weekend and I had to tell him, you know it felt good to NOT stand out as the fattest chick on the dance floor.. I just looked normal, you know. just like everyone else, and that in itself was just.. nice. I had a nice outfit on, very modern and it fit me good, and I didn't feel like everyone was judging me.. even if they were, I didn't see any snide looks or snickering behind my back like I used to when I was 300 pounds. I don't know how to explain it, the whole thing was just... new. A good feeling, but everything is just so not what I am used to. I am feeling pretty good, still get wore out sometimes, but its good to be able to sleep better at night without all that weight on my chest and belly and neck. Take Care!

FEBUARY 10, 2004: I am now 175 pounds. I have lost 115 pounds in 7 months. I am 25 pounds from my goal weight of 150. I will definately need a tummy tuck, upper arms, and inner thighs done. I need a breast lift badly, and probably implants. I consume about 500 calories a day during the week. about 800 a day on the weekends. I eat whatever I want only small amounts. I watch the sugar though. I eat protein first. I take my vitamins. I am goingto start taking calcium. Ostioporisis is not curable. I need to drink more water. I struggle to keep from getting constipated. I drink milk of magnesia at night time, that helps. I have started my stationary bike and weight lifting. I am still lazy when it comes to exercise. I had a period last month without birth control pills. I still stay tired alot, and want to sleep alot, but I work all the time though. My skin looks like a sharpei dog. Overall I feel better than before surgery. I wear a misses size 14 jeans and med to large shirts.

February 26, 2004. Hi again, hope you are well. I am still holding at 175. Nothing much has changed, except my butt is getting smaller, which is a good thing lol. When I bought my size 14's they were nice and snug, well now they are all baggy in the butt. Maybe I am going to need butt implants LOL. I think I am in a plateau again cause I am losing inches but the scale is staying the same. I been exercising on my bike. I do at least 30 minutes in the evening at least 3 times a week. My bras are getting loose too. I think I will flip out when I am able to fit into a size 12 jean. That is going to be soo awesome. Guess what I have been able to drink flat diet dr pepper. omg it is so good to have it after having water for so long. yeah i know it has sodium in it but the taste is wonderful ha ha ha. I actually think I am drinking more now that I can have something besides water and crystal lite lol. My pouch is still in good shape, I tried to eat a piece of quesidilla the other day it had cheese and chicken in it. all I could eat was a small piece and I was so full. also if I eat rice or pasta I can only eat a little bit of it like 4 bites and I cannot eat anymore. but if i eat a baked potatoe I can almost eat a 4-5 oz baked potatoe cause it is kinda mushy like. Or if I have creamed soup I can eat almost a whole cup with 2 or 3 crackers. I can eat chicken pot pie without the crust. I can eat just about anything now, but depending on the texture of food decides how much of something I can hold. I crave salty foods and very sour foods (like granny smith apples). I have to hold myself back from the hershey minitures cause I know if I just have one.... (its kinda like a cocaine addict or cigarette smoker) once you quit dont start back! I acutally bought me some sour starburst candy, and I will have like 3 or 4 small pieces and that helps with the sugar cravings alot. Omg I bought some of the low sugar low carb bryers ice cream and it was god awful. but my husband thinks its good! I think its terrible. I think I will stick with my sugar free popcicles and guilt free chocolate pops. Today I had half an egg, half a sausage pattie, a protein shake, one slice of cheese, one slice of turkey meat, 1 slice of bread, half teaspoon mayo, 5 tostitoes chips, 5 starburst chews, and for dinner I am having a 4 oz baked potatoe with butter. and later on tonight I will probably have 3 peach slices and a pineapple ring for snack. I dont really count calories but just sharing with you what I can eat now. (yeah I know I could be eating more protein and less carbs).. well thats all for now, I will update again soon.

Monday March 15th, 2004: Hi again, hope you are well. Well I was on almost a month long plateau. The scales finally moved this past weekend down to 171. SO that is only 3 pounds in a month, however, I did go down from a junior miss plus size 14 to just a regular junior size 13. I also bought new bras in size 36 D. The last ones I wore was 38 D. My breast cup size has gotten smaller, but it still fills up a D cup. I wear a size 8 panty now. My face is really looking slim now. And my legs are looking slim too (except in the upper thighs the skin hangs badly). I went and bought new glasses because now my head is actually smaller, my old glasses looked huge on my face! I bought some new sandals and I got a size 9 and half.(regular width) Before surgery I had to have size 11 wide
sandals. I can eat anything I want now pretty much. But I tried a napolean (just a bite) from the german cafe the other day and it was so sweet and rich I could only stand enough of it on the tips on my fingers and that was all. however I can eat almost a quarter cup of lemon flavored jelly belly jelly beans.. which i know is bad but sooooo much better than eating a king size hershey bar or a king size mr goodbar that i would have easily consumed prior to surgery. sometimes i think i will treat myself to a fun size mini hershey and then i think to myself i am a recovering chocoholic and that is a totally bad idea. I still fight the urge everyday to not smoke. even before surgery i would smoke when i was bored, or upset, or nervous, and now i dont have food or cigarettes, and sometimes it can be overwelming. i have to remind myself of my lungs are trying to heal after smoking for so long, and breathing better and not stinking (breath and clothes and house). my car used to stink so bad of cigarettes and now if i go into a bar and there is heavy cigarette smoke it makes me nauseous. (I still like to play pool every now and again.) I have found that I can tolerate a certain amount of sugar which is a total bummer, but I cannot tolerate too much of it. It gives me a rush of insulin, which in turn gives me a real bad headache, and when the insulin surge is over it leaves me feeling weak and tired, and craving more sugar to recooperate, which means it is a vicious cycle, (sounding familar to anyone?) Therefore I have tried to be more aware of putting my protein first, and even cutting out more carbs. I just feel better in general when I have consumed at least 50 grams of protein in a day. Right now my biggest issue is drinking with my meals. I really need to work on that because I could be consuming less calories and feeling fuller longer if I could just stop drinking with my meals. I dont know why it is so hard, just 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after, but I will still try to do better with it. This months plateau reeally had me bummed out bad, but then I remembered that my doctor said you cannot consider it a plateau unless you go at least 3 weeks without any change on the scales. and my scales finally moved in the 4th week. i was thinking maybe my monthly cycle was causing me to hold extra water weight, but I now think it was I needed to increase my protein and decrease my carbs. I am trying to track it better on fitday.com. when i use fitday i can see better where i need to watch the carbs and increase the protein. and even cut out more fats where i can, or at least use less fatty alternatives in my diet. I know in order to lose these last 40 pounds it will take alot of effort on my part to get there, the pouch is doing it job but i need to work it to its full potential. I really realise that now, the first 100 pounds seem to come off easily without much effort on my part, but now i really have to watch it, and i think it will be something i will forever have to be aware of. (calories consumed is less than calories burned.) I look better in my clothes, but somedays I still feel very weak and tired. I know now that I have borderline low sugar and definately have low blood pressure, and those two combined with working hard 9 hours a day and consuming less than 900 calories a day can really take a toll on you. I will be having more blood work done at the end of the month by my regular doctor, she is anxious to do it because last time i went to see her she said I was looking haggard. (worn-out). she told my husband she planned on checking everything in my blood cause she is somewhat concerned about the way i am looking. (and i thought i was looking good lol). I will let you know how it turns out. I still have a huge panni on my abdomen. If I did not have that panni I bet you I could be wearing a size 10 jeans easily. However I am a tall girl and I have wide hips, so I dont think I will ever be in the proverbial size 6 but if I can have a flat stomach someday and just be in good health I will be so happy. (but that day will only be after I have had my children : no point in doing two tummy tucks.) Guess thats all for now, oh my hubby is now down to 230 down from 285. and he didnt even have surgery, I just keep sweets and fats outta the house! LOL

SUNDAY MARCH 21,2004: Hi again, I soo need to vent LOL I joined "the spa healthclub" this week. I got weighed and measured ""arrrrg"" first of all, I weigh 5 more pounds on thier scale, (this is with shoes tshirt and shorts) so thier scales say i weigh 179. arggggg!! but if i was naked on thier scale it would prolly be 175, and my home scales say 170. anyway just seeing the 179 on thier scales made me like want to smack it! lol then they measure me, and write it all down, they measure you thru your clothes and she wasnt even holding the tape measure that tightly (arrrgg). then I hold onto this steering wheel looking device for a second that reads my body fat percentage. it was 34 % (double arrrggg!) She told me it should be closer to 24%. So then I do 15 minutes on the ski machine. not too bad. then do about 10 different natilus machines, omg my body is so weak. it was pitiful, for a girl as tall as me to be so weak. I was straining so bad just with the 8 pound weights to lift up and down. it was embarasssing. the 5 foot nothin, 100 pound nothin, girls in there i am sure could whip my butt so easy and here i am almost 5 foot 10. well the next morning omg my calves was so sore i could hardly walk. that evening they made me do the exact same workout, the next morning i was moving like a ninety year old. so that day i said i am getting in the hot tub and the pool and thats all! lol (that was yesterday) and it felt great. now its sunday and feeling guilty lol i should pack my stuff and go on up there and at least bicycle some. maybe walk laps in the pool even. you just dont realise how out of shape you are until you join a gym and get your actual body fat percent and see what you can do cardio wise and weight lifting wise. I was telling myself oh you are looking good girl, but in actuality, even though I am alot thinner, I am still very much out of shape. (no strength). I did 30 abdominal crunches on the crunch machine, and my abs screamed at me (what the H*** was that! LOL) I havent done ANY ab exercises since way before I was 300 pounds! anyways, I absolutely hate exercise. but I will try to make efforts to get up there at least 3 times a week. my trainer told me I will learn to like it, I was like YEAH RIGHT! but I will try to turn it into a habit whether I like it or not. guess I am just kinda bummed to find out how outta shape I am, and I hate this huge panni hanging on me. I wish I could have it removed now, but I have not had my children yet. The panni hurts my back and puts alot of pressure on my bladder, I have to always go pee these days. My average daily menu these days: 1-2 oz 2% cracker barrel cheese with 10 reduced fat wheat thin crackers, or 1/2 scrambled egg, or slim fast shake. with a cup of coffee with non dairy creamer and splenda. for lunch I will have the fried fish square off a filet of fish sandwich minus the bread and mayo and cheese., or a slim fast shake, or 2 cups of salad with 2 tablespoons of blue cheese dressing, or 1/2 cup brunwich stew, or a yogurt, or a cup of beef vegtable soup, I really cant stand beef or deli meats these days! for dinner I may have steamed snow crab legs,(about 3 clusters or boiled shrimp with old bay seasoning (about 8 shrimps large size). I am really on the seafood kick these days , but none of it fried! only baked, saulteed, or boiled! it is a fabulous way of getting in that protein and it digest soo easily! no getting stuck! and you feel like you ate a normal , meal! I am getting to where I cant stand baked potatoes anymore! but I will allow myself a little creamed corn now and then because it is in the middle of the glycemic index charts. I have one of those posted on my fridge! You should too! Its amazing! I had two treats yesterday, and I dont know how to feel about it. I had 5 of the cadbury mini eggs (solid milk chocolate eggs with crisp sugar coating. that was like 110 calories for 5 small pieces! high fat, high sugar! then i treated myself later in the day with 1/4 cup of regular cheesecake ice cream! again, high fat, and high sugar! now I will say yesterday was the first time I had had regular chocolate since before wls. it was a nice treat. I remember a time when I would get the big bag of them and sit there and eat the whole bag in a sitting. you know there were like 50 eggs in a bag, and at 110 calories per every 5, that would be like 1,100 calories! as a snack before wls! :0O
and with the ice cream I just couldnt stand the sugar free anymore, I would rather have 1/8 a cup of regular and not dump then to have 1 cup of no sugar and not dump. the taste is just so different! AM I NUTS OR WHAT! I read so much on moderation moderation moderation! everything in moderation! I will not beat myself up over 5 little chocolate eggs, or few bites of ice cream once in a while. No I will not make it a habit, but when I do have it, I will try to enjoy it and not beat myself up about it. and yes I am trying to convince myself of it while I am typing this! LOL I still put everything on fitday.com. it keeps me honest. lol My average calorie consumtion is about 800-900 sometimes 1000 calories a day. and my daily calories burned is around 3400. so if I lose 1-2 pounds a week that is grand! I tell you that 30 minutes to 1 hour exercise will give you 400-500 calories burned up! it makes a huge difference! (not preaching, just be aware). see you later! :D


April 29th, 2004: Hi there, just wanted to say that I am still here and doing fine. I saw my surgeon today. I got weighed at his office. (tennis shoes and baggy blue jeans and t shirt) I weighed 175. So I figure if I am naked on his scale it would prolly be like 168. And the scales at the gym say I weigh 167 (without my tennis shoes on) t-shirt, shorts, socks and underwear. SO I have lost 123 pounds in 10 months. My goal is 150 pounds. Dr. Harris said I would prolly start to plateau before too long. ( the weight your body is happy at and wants to stay there). Hey if I plateau at 150 I will be tickled pink. I am tall (5"10) so that is a good weight for me they say. My DH tells me I should stick with one scale and hold to that. ha ha I tell him I will go with the one that gives me the best weight! :P I still dont drink enough water every day. And some days I could stand to eat some more calories. I usually keep it around 800-1200 a day. I can actually drink sprite now without dumping. I wonder if not having the carmel coloring in it makes any difference, I know the sugar is the same. And I still have a handful of sour cream and onion chips once in a while. I like no sugar added Edys butter pecan ice cream, I can eat 1/2 cup of it no problem and it actually tastes like good ice cream. I still have no desire for meats. I can tolerate small pieces of chicken sometimes, but I cant tolerate things like steak, hamburger, pork chops.. its like having a rock in my stomach. I would much rather have a good vegetable soup. Or maybe some green bean casserole. I should try harder to drink more protein shakes but goodness they taste so awful. I can tolerate the 100% whey protein from gnc but that dont mean they are good. ha ha. I will be putting up the proverbial "after" picture at my one year mark which will be June 25th 2004. I really hope to meet or be very close to my goal of 150. I still love sauteed shrimp with old bay seasoning. and snow crab legs with drawn butter is awesome. I like bushes baked beans, sweet peas, creamed corn, green beans, lima beans, sauteed mushrooms, sweet potatoes, blackeyed peas, all kinds of veggies for salads, I can even eat a regular taco with sour cream from taco bell. ( it takes me about 15 minutes to eat it though). I have learned to stop when I start to feel full. I used to eat until I was real full, and then it would make me feel sickly, so now I just take my time and as soon as I start to feel the fullness I quit eating, I wont eat another mouthful because it is that mouthful that will make you sick instead of satisfied. I love my soups, my favorite is still the classic alphabet soup. Now I know that soups dont last in the pouch long, but sometimes it just nice to curl up on the sofa and have a nice steamy cup of good soup. (maybe even an ounce or two of extra sharp cheddar cheese on the side, yummy!) and I still love my sugar free popcicles. I try to go to the gym at least 4 -5 times a week. I think my arms and legs are getting stronger, or at least more conditioned cause I am not as sore as I used to be. The hanging skin on my inner thighs, outer hips, under my butt and abdomen is pretty bad. But will deal with all that skin at the plastic surgeons office in a few years lol. Take Care!

June 21, 2004: Hi again, just wanted to give a quick update: I am now 163 pounds. Am still losing but oh so slowly. I wear size 10-11 pants. how awesome is that. I even wore my first two piece suit to the beach last weekend (not a bikini bottom). I do know my limitations ha ha ha. I have major hanging skin issues. But I am getting stronger by working out 3 times a week. I am 4 days away from my 1 year anniversary from wls. I wont make it to 150 like I hoped, but I came real close. I hope after plastic surgery I may even wear a size 6? I saw how carnie wilson is gaining her weight back. I am sad about that cause she was such an inspiration for me. I hope she will get back on the bandwagon. It just goes to show you that you can gain the weight back if you dont eat right and exercise and have some kind of support! See ya!

July 17, 2004: Hi all hope this finds you well. I am now down to 148 pounds. I am doing pretty good. I had a dumping episode the other night, I basically overate and threw up. Too much too soon, but glad to know the pouch is still working. I can eat half a ham and cheese sandwich comfortably now. I can eat a little bit of sweets but not much or it makes me ill. I have lots of hanging skin on my thighs, butt, underarms, but the stomach is the worst. I know I will have plasic surgery someday so I try not to sweat it too much. I bought some new jeans the other day in size 6. I could not believe it. Makes me wonder what size I will be after plastic surgery ha ha. See you later, take care.

http://www.geocities.com/cassandra_nc_is_here/mybeforeandafterpics.html?1090074422078


August 5, 2004: Hi again, I went to see Dr. Harris on July 28 and his scales read 158 pounds. I think there is a 10 pound difference in his scales and mine. He thinks I should be balancing out pretty soon. I am eating pretty much whatever just small portions. The only way I eat meat is in pencil eraser size bites. Finding myself eating alot more carbs than protein. Need to work on that. Still tired alot. I sleep at least 9 hours a night or I pay for it the next day. Need to be drinking more water. Trying to work harder on the natilus machines and less cardio. I think I am loosing musclemass because I am looking boney these days. Take Care!

Friday, Feb. 18, 2005: Just wanted to do a quick update. Got a call from my obgyn just now and got some great news. My cholesterol was perfect, my insulin is perfect, I did ovulate last month, and I DO NOT HAVE PCOS. She told me previously that she did not think I had PCOS that I just had some cysts on my ovaries, that was not PCOS related. and I went and had lab work to see if I had it, and I don't! SO she told us it would be safe to try and have a baby, and I had a 90 percent chance of getting pregnant whenever we decide to do so. SO that makes me a very happy camper. My wieght has stayed the same for the last month around 137 pounds. So thats pretty cool. I kinda hope I will gain back around 20 pounds and stay that weight from here on out. Anyways I still pretty much eat whatever I like, just small portions. I still have a little bit of dumping if I eat too fast, or if I have something that has a little too much sugar in it. I do treat myself to a few m and ms now and again. ha ha. well thats all for now, take care!

DR HARRIS SCALES:
MAY 3 2003:290
JULY 8TH 2003:276
JULY 21 2003:269
AUGUST 11 2003:260
SEPT 6 2003: 243
FEB 28 2004:181
APRIL 29 2004:175
JULY 28 2004:158
------------------
WEIGHT LOSS IN 13 MONTHS: 132 POUNDS

November 20, 2004: Hi there, been a while since my last update. I am down to 143 pounds. I wear a size 9 junior jeans. I dont think my hip bones will get any smaller ha ha.
I still have a bad overhang (belly skin) and my butt seems like it hangs down the back of my thighs. I guess you could say I have pretty much stablized. I been bouncing around the same 7-10 pound mark the last six months. I eat whatever I want only small portions. Havent had any dumping for a long time now. I can tolerate small portions of sugar. But not too much. I am still happy I had the surgery, I feel at lot better. My bloodwork is perfect. My periods are just like clockwork now. (I have pcos). I really dont want to lose any more because my bones are sticking out. I have to hace a cushioned toliet seat and avoid hard benches like the plague. Its great to wear fashionable clothes and have men checking me out wherever I go.. a few nice fringe benefits. Well I guess thats all for now.. take care!



Monday April 10, 2006 :: Hi again, just wanted to do a quick update. Still at the 145 mark. I can still eat about anything I like. I can actually eat alot more these days. I am not really having any problems from my surgery. I forget to take my vitamins sometimes and I can really feel the difference. I feel so run down when I forget. I still don't drink enough water. And I stopped going to the gym too. I know I know. I should exercise more. My bloodwork is still perfect. I think I have Dr pepper addiction. and m & M's are my weaknesses. Bad sugar. I think sometimes I am getting back to my old eating habits. Thats not good at all. I am worrying that I will regain weight. But then there are times I can go all day and just "forget" to eat. and still other days I feel I can eat everything in the pantry. Weird huh. I can't wait to have plastic surgery. I am a 34 yr old woman is a 90 yr old looking body. ha ha

almost 10 years later, it is time to start looking for a plastic surgeon. :) 

almost to the day, 4 years later.  I'm still 170 pounds.  

I looked at my pictures from 2005, in the garden, I was 145.

so thats 25 pounds more than my lowest weight from roux-n-y surgery.

Now I'm seriously thinking about plastic surgery.  I'm tired of the overhanging skin.  

weight this morning 168.5
drinking more water.
had a yogurt,- breakfast
had nutrigrain bar-ok (detour is better for protien)
had half a detour bar
a cup of hot chocolate no sugar added-60 cal
had spegettti with butter and parm cheese- bad bad
vitamins-2 centrum
calcium-3 minis citrate
exercise- very little

note to self: on jan 20 I was 177.
                      on feb 20 I am   168.5
                      lost 8.5 pounds in a month.  yeah baby!

I'm having a hard time taking my new vitamins. they are hard to swallow. I need to make it routine, like brushing my teeth in the morning. 
same way with the calcium.
I think I see now how much I need the support of this website.
It reminds me of my responsibilities to myself.
Will eat lean protein first.
then lots of veggies,
then few carbs,
at least 4 bottles of water.
vitamins and calcium.
there is a bowl of chocolates in the house from valentines day.
its like temptation is watching me, waiting for me to cave in.
I will resist.
I am doing so much better overall.
eating healthier, back to water, moving my body more,
I felt best overall when I was drinking lots of water. I hate to drink it.
but I didn't seem to feel as tired..maybe it was just mentally I knew I
was doing better with everything.
I didn't go to sleep until 2 this morning.  too restless.
pouch is still working.  had liquid for breakfast and lunch and then at supper
i could only eat about a half cup of lean meat when i got my signal to stop.
that was pretty neat.  i have missed that feeling.

lets just suffice to say that I blew my diet during the super bowl.
recalls: 2 cookies, 1 reece cup, 3 wings, cup of lasangna, a pepsi.
ok . MONDAY BACK ON TRACK!