bunnilypps
This is the best trip I have ever been on!!!
Aug 05, 2009
50 lbs in 2 months!!! No problems from the surgery to report. Some eating issues like I don't know how. Just following what my body wants and it only wants full protein I do know this. Sugar is the DEVIL!!! I have only had a few times in my life that I have felt that bad. Just a few M&M's and I was down for half of the day.
I would have to say that seeing my face change and transform into the person I know is just the best.
This is a great journey with no destination.
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I would have to say that seeing my face change and transform into the person I know is just the best.
This is a great journey with no destination.
I am awed!!!
Jun 29, 2009
My surgery was performed on June 1st of 09. I am less than an entire month out and I have already lost 36 lbs. From 250 to 214. I am awed and amazed at how fast this is coming off of me. The beginnings of this journey has been rough as I "crave" the old foods and my old ways of eating. I have tried to "eat" with ill effects. The pain isn't worth the effort. I will keep up with my program and continue to enjoy the results.
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I don't want to hate me anymore
Dec 22, 2008
The beginning of November was the end and the beginning.
I had attempted suicide on November 6th when the feeling of self loathing became just too much. I mean everyday from the minute I wake up until the moment I go to sleep and ALL DAY LONG...EVERYDAY. I can't stand it. Just can't. So I did what had been a thinkable for me for quite some time.
"Just loose the weight"
"Oh come on you've lost it before"
"Just learn to live with it"
"If you wouldn't eat, drink, set.....UGGGG>
"Exercise would help"
I used to work out quite frequently. Starved myself daily. Had sooo much trouble sleeping because of the pain in my head and stomach...but I was thin...ner! All of this crap way of life ended 5 years ago. The weight has come on and stayed and I hate myself so damn much because of it. It fills my every waking minute. I am obsessed with this disgust of myself. It doesn't matter what I do I have no pride in anything. How sad this sounds to me. How pathetic but it is such a truth.
I hadn't been ready to take this step because I believed I was at fault. Just a weak willed sad fat girl.. Now I really don't give a C%#$ why I am like this. If I don't make this attempt for wls I will be dead. I already feel like like I live in the world of the walking dead.
I went to a bar, didn't notice a man in there that I had not only lived with, but had such a great sex life with for 4 years. He had seen me. When I finally did see him I could tell he was ignoring me. I got his attention and he came to my table. The look in his eyes when I asked if he was just ignoring me or what. The look was of embarrassment. HE WAS EMBARRASSED TO SEE ME. I wanted to crawl away.
Ok I have self-pitied myself enough tonight. I at least let myself cry about it.
0 comments
I had attempted suicide on November 6th when the feeling of self loathing became just too much. I mean everyday from the minute I wake up until the moment I go to sleep and ALL DAY LONG...EVERYDAY. I can't stand it. Just can't. So I did what had been a thinkable for me for quite some time.
"Just loose the weight"
"Oh come on you've lost it before"
"Just learn to live with it"
"If you wouldn't eat, drink, set.....UGGGG>
"Exercise would help"
I used to work out quite frequently. Starved myself daily. Had sooo much trouble sleeping because of the pain in my head and stomach...but I was thin...ner! All of this crap way of life ended 5 years ago. The weight has come on and stayed and I hate myself so damn much because of it. It fills my every waking minute. I am obsessed with this disgust of myself. It doesn't matter what I do I have no pride in anything. How sad this sounds to me. How pathetic but it is such a truth.
I hadn't been ready to take this step because I believed I was at fault. Just a weak willed sad fat girl.. Now I really don't give a C%#$ why I am like this. If I don't make this attempt for wls I will be dead. I already feel like like I live in the world of the walking dead.
I went to a bar, didn't notice a man in there that I had not only lived with, but had such a great sex life with for 4 years. He had seen me. When I finally did see him I could tell he was ignoring me. I got his attention and he came to my table. The look in his eyes when I asked if he was just ignoring me or what. The look was of embarrassment. HE WAS EMBARRASSED TO SEE ME. I wanted to crawl away.
Ok I have self-pitied myself enough tonight. I at least let myself cry about it.
