Breena B.

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so i'm doing better now since i've been home. still a bit of an emotional roller coaster,  but that seems to have calmed down for the most part.

i'm struggling now to get in protien--which i know will make me feel better, but i'm still on liquids and its driving me crazy. i'm probably going to move myself ahead to the pureed foods a couple days early, but i really can't afford anything sending me back to the hospital. when i get the protien and other real food intake, i'm sure my fatigue will improve and everything will seem easier.

please just send some good vibes my way....i'm feeling stuck

b

ok folks, i think all of you may be in at different parts of this story, since it started over a year and a half ago...but last week i finally got my weight loss surgery. the surgery is called the biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch (plus an appendectomy) all laproscopic and robot assisted---if you want to google it.   i know i've been kind of silent over the past week since i was going in to have weight loss surgery. some of you may have gotten brief texts from me while in the hospital while i was doped up on pain medication, and probably gave you just enough information to be confused and/or worried. sorry for that--i am very impressed by the persuasive effects of my iv pain med dilaudid--to make me not care a bit about that in the moment.   So--- I reported for surgery at 6am at Abington hospital on thurs, june 10th, got taken back for changing into gown, pregnancy test (negative!), and iv placement. i'm not in hospitals much, but this place felt pretty swanky--they had head lights that would turn on to keep you toasty, and paper gowns that hooked up to a hose connected to a thermostat you could control. They got the iv right away, my mom came back and hung out for a while, met with the surgeon--and then i was off to the OR! Not really nervous through any of this and expected everything will go smoothly, and my good friends the anesthesiologists put me to sleep...   Thurs/Fri Next think i remember i was being transferred somewhere, still with oxygen, and with horrible pain in my back...which was hard since i'd had surgery on my stomach so i had to lay on my back, but with all the monitors and tubes, i couldn't really moved anywhere--and then was asleep again. i woke up confused and my mom told me that after the surgeon had come out to talk to her any say everything was fine, the nurse called from recovery saying that they saw a big residual bubble of air behind my esophogus or heart and wanted to observe me in icu overnight to make sure it was reabsorbed. (they filled my belly with air in order to do the surgery laproscopically) after getting another chest xray that morning (friday) they said it was clear and they could take out my ng tube. another problem arose when this tube (despite determine pulling) was not coming free. This required a return to the OR and more anesthesia so they could go back in endoscopically and release the tube. it turns out that it had been accidentally sutured into the new junctor of esophagus and stomach. he was able to get it out without removing sutures, and without going 'back in' laproscopically. I stayed one more night in ICU after that--i think for poor urine output and low blood pressure? not sure exactly...   saturday/sunday moved out of icu and onto the main floor (after briefly sitting in a chair in icu) those nurses seemed very excited to get a patient to do that :) Because of the problems with the ng tube, my surgeon wanted to be extra cautious moving forward (which i'm grateful for). unfortunately, that meant that i could not swallow anything all day saturday and sunday, until we could get a swallow study done monday morning. luckly, the handy pain meds shot straight into my central line kept me comfy.   monday monday we did the swallow study and everything looked good, so i was allowed to start my trial of 1oz of fluid every hour! wooohoooo! that went well. the also removed my catheter and central line, which gave me more reasons to get out of bed. there were several reattempts and getting a new iv started, but they failed.   tuesday i woke up, got my drain out and my staples out, and was allowed unrestricted fluids!! and that means pretty much crystal light, jello, and chicken broth. Normally, i would have been sent home close to, if not at the pureed stage (which is much more exciting) but due to ng incident, this period has been extended another 10 days. i got sent home that afternoon, and after suffering through traffic on the schuykill, made it home around 4---sososososooooooooo happy to see my own bed.   for the most part now i'm feeling good, a bit wiped out, and trying to regain some mental health...after being off all pysch meds for 5 days. pain since i've been home has been easily controlled with adult liquid tylenol. i had my followup visit at the office today, and i've lost 11 pounds since my pre surgery weigh in on may 17th. yay! so all this crap will pass in the next week or so, and i'll be up and at 'em. and i'll be able to drive again next friday :)    i did mean to send t his email out much earlier, but lost internet connection and just got it back...feel free to ask any questions, since i may have left gaps unintentionally. oh, and depsite some complications abington hospital is an awesome place to be---and my mom even said she didn't have any complaints and that they did an excellent job keeping families of surgery patients informed. She is staying with me until this tuesday--all recovery plans i had have been pretty scrapped due to the delays, but all in all i think i'm doing quite well.   thanks for all of you who sent me messages over the past week, hopefully some of your questions have been answered.   ~b

it is day one of this presurgery liquid diet, and i'm starving. for some reason we can have rice? although that isn't a liquid...i'm going to try that next. i think i'm probably not eating enough...so i'm going to go out tomorrow and buy a boatload of yogurt. and cream of wheat. i can't seem to find what the common theme is in the foods listed...which i think is why i'm feeling lost. (doesn't help that my neighbors are grilling out back)

just have to make it until thursday..
and then things will get better....right????

i have my surgery date! yay!

i was very excited, but now it just seems forever away. i feel like now that i know when it's going to happen i just want some changes already--instead of waiting around 2 months 2 weeks and 4 days. i know it isn't really that far away, and i know people have waited much longer, but lately it feels like it's a year away....

i met up with a friend yesterday who thought it would just be nice for us to walk to dinner...and guess what? a LOT of places are closed on monday...so we kept walking and walking and walking (but really only about 7 blocks). i felt like a fat slug when we were walking and then a sweaty pig when we got to the resturant and sat down. i keep telling myself that once i lose weight i won't get all anxious everytime someone suggests walking. and i tell myself that even though i'm wearing the same few outfits week after week it doesn't make sense to buy anything new....because change is coming...

i'm also moving to a new apartment on saturday, so i'm also dreading my excessive sweating and lack of muscles. i used to have muscles---and the stubborness to do things without help. now i'm completely dependant on other people. i'm sure this is healthy on some level, but it doesn't mean i'm happy about it! i just want my life back--i already had to get it back after serious depression and i don't feel like waiting around for change again.

so i guess i'm stuck in a period of waiting for big change while i deal with change in my living situation--and get my own apartment again!

i'm not really as upset as this post sounds...i've just been holding it all in and needed to vent...to people who might understand the frustration. and i do feel a bit better...

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