BigDaddyRog
I am ONE BIG MOFO!!! And Im tired of it. Ive been livin large since I was about 8yrs old. I lost alot of weight when I first hit puberty about 14(I know , late bloomer) but my metabolism caught back up with me by the time I got married at 21. We had 3 daughters, and I decided if I was gonna loose any weight, I had to work at it. Went on Atkins at age 30, lost about 125 lbs getting down to as low as 205 lbs. Felt great, I was truely happy, so I took a small break from Atkins...and gained back about 200pounds in a few short months.....ok, it was like a year....or 2....but it went by sooo fast!!!!I tried to get back on the diet dozens and dozens of times, always failing, and doubling back the few pounds Id lose.We had a fourth daughter, Im going through this horribly depressing midlife crisis, and fatter than Ive ever been in my life.
To top it all off, Im a STRIP CLUB DJ at one of the PREMIER CLUBS on BOURBON STREET in the FRENCH QUARTER....surrounded by drugs, alcohol, and beautiful naked women that represented the worst of humanity....I was on the edge and looking down. Cocaine became my best friend, next to Rumplemintze shots and Marlboros....I was doing everything I could to hide from my feelings of disgust with myself. Then Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.....and turned my drug induced little world upside down. We had to evacuate to Galveston, TX.... just me & my family....no strippers....no drug dealers...no alcohol....and a VERY unsure future. As I began to sober up and spend time with my family....the people who loved me no matter how I found excuses not to be home. The people who depended on me to be around for years to come although I was daring death by being 437 lbs and addicted to coke and drinking and smoking like a mad man. Well, like I said, the more time I spent with them and had a clear mind, I realized what an ass I had been being.I decided I was going to be the man these 5 women needed in their lives.
Thats been 2 yrs now......I'll be honest, it took me a full year to quit drinking and drugging. And I still havent figured out how to give up the Cowboy Killers, but 2 outta 3 aint bad.Now for my biggest enemy....MYSELF. The person I was disgusted with all this time to begin with...what am I gonna do about this GUT? I hope I dont sound concieted, I mean, there IS more to me than my concern for my looks....but to admit to myself that I was completly not in control of my body, that I actually had NO CONTROL of my weight, regardless of diet attempts.
But, wait.....whats this?......theres HOPE? (The clouds open up, the light beams down upon me, and an orchestgra of herald angels sing my name in unison..) I can have my stomach removed....and still be alive? What is this nonsence you speak of? My goodness, maybe I can live with myself after all.
Like I said, Im a DJ....pretty much self employed....no insurance. So I had tohave my surgery FINANCED by Capital One for $12,400. I aint rich, or well off....hell, I can barely make ends meet, and for 12.4g....my little wife could be driving around in a sweet little sports car, or we could do some serious remodeling to the house, or pay off a few credit card bills....or I can invest in my health and be around long enough to enjoy what Ive got, instead of worrying about what I COULD HAVE. Bariatric Surgery.....here I come!!!
I was operated on last Monday....Ive already lost 19 pounds since my first pre-op visit. I can see it........if I look closely.....there IS a light at the end of this crappy tunnel!
UPDATE 1/07/09
I havent updated in a VERY LONG TIME!!!!! Its been about a year and a half since my surgery...I've lost 178 pounds!! I've gone from a size 60 jeans to a size 38!!! from a 6xl shirt to a 3xl...often even a 2xl!!! I dont excercise, because Im a lazy bastard, and I eat the same crap I ate before surgery...but LOTS LESS of it. If Id get off of my butt and excercise, and maybe eat like a responsible adult...I'd have lost 200 by now...but ya know what.....I FEEL GREAT!!!! Im 262 pounds...and sure, I'd rather be 220 pounds....but if I never lose another ounce...the surgery was more than worth every penny I spent on it.
For those that are curious....I AM STILL CLEAN AND SOBER !!!!! Thats been the toughest battle Ive ever put myself through, but Im winning...and will never stop fighting this fight. It may always be in the back of my head, nagging at me, calling at me...it may be a fight till the day I die....but I will never go back to drugs or alcohol...YAY ME, and YAY to my FAMILY for sticking in there for me and waiting for the real me to fight my way out of the monster I was hiding inside of !!!!
