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I decided to write this post for myself and not anyone else really, so that one day I can look back and see how far I've come. 

My mother passed away on October 27, 2013 from a long battle with COPD. I watched her slowly decline but never giving up her fight. It was sad to see someone I loved so dearly suffer with something as simple as breathing, on a daily basis.  My mom and I were really close. We worked together for 10 years in the business she started and owned, a home health agency. When we weren't working long hours together, I was at her house for cookouts, pool parties or just to enjoy a cup of coffee or watch a movie with her.  She loved to go shopping too. She would call me up on Saturday mornings and say when are you coming? I'd say I'm on my way mom. I miss my mom so much but at the same time, I'm happy she's not suffering any more.

After mom died, our family pulled together more than ever. My dad was having a really hard time without mom around. We spent many a nights in the garage talking about her and crying and hugging. Christmas was especially hard cause that was moms favorite holiday. She went all out. From the decorations to the Christmas feast. I tried my best to duplicate my moms traditions. I cooked the entire dinner by myself. I hope I made mom proud. It was just a few of us there with my dad (my husband and kids, my sister Destiny and her baby) we knew that mom's spirit was there too. We got through the holidays somehow and had started helping dad to pack and get moved into his new house. With mom gone he could no longer stay in the big house nor afford the 3K house payment. Dad needed me for something almost every day, like paying the bills because he didn't know how to write a check or take him to the grocery store. Then in January he got sick with pneumonia and was in the hospital for a week.  He finally came home and we continued the packing vowing to finish by February 15th. 

I was scheduled to have surgery on January 21st, but thought about postponing it due to all that we had been through, but my dad said, you're going to finish what you started. So, I had my second stage of the DS. Everything went great and I was back home in 5 days. That next Friday night he called me crying and said I need you, can you come? I didn't hesitate and jumped in the car. He just needed someone to listen and a shoulder to cry on.  I was finding it hard to focus on myself with everything going on. I was trying to be strong for my dad and run my moms business, but now I felt like I was neglecting my own family.  I tried to balance it all, while trying to get my protein in, take my vites, drink my water and exercise. 

My dad, like my mom, also had breathing problems. I don't think he ever quite got over the pneumonia because he was still having difficulties breathing and was taking a lot of breathing treatments everyday.  That Saturday I went over to his house to continue to help him pack and clean the house a little. Destiny, my little sister, was going with a friend to a concert at church, so my husband I agreed to babysit. They all sat on the sofa watching a movie while I was in the kitchen making a pot of chili beans.  It was just an ordinary day for us. One minute things are fine, then the next minute it's not. I'll never understand why it happened. My dad went to the bathroom and when he came out he sat on the side of his bed to catch his breath. I saw that he wasn't looking so good and started a breathing treatment for him and told him he needed to go to the ER. I called an ambulance. My husband was in the front driveway waiting for them. The station is only a block away so they got their really quick. Before the paramedics made it in the house, my dad stopped breathing. His face was turning blue then black as I screamed for help to hurry and screamed at him to please breath. I tried to sit him up, but just then a paramedic came in and yanked my dad onto the floor and started CPR. Others came in and joined in his efforts.  After what seemed like hours, but was actually 23 minutes they loaded him into the ambulance, still performing CPR. When we got to the hospital, they told me they did everything they could but my dad didn't make it. I felt my whole world closing in. I couldn't breath. How could this be happening? Again. I had to be dreaming, a nightmare really. Hours turned to days, turned to weeks and it still doesn't feel real. Both of my parents gone, just 3 months apart.

That's not even the half of it though really. People say the don't understand how a family can suffer so much tragedy in such a short time. Besides losing my parents, my grandpa, my mom's dad passed away (10/25/13) two days before my mom (10/27/13). Then my dad unexpectedly dies (2/1/13), a couple of weeks later, my uncle, mom's brother, Dan (2/18/13) and then my nana, dad's mother (3/7/13).  I often think of them in heaven all together having one heck of a party.

So here I am today, April 12th. Missing my family so much. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them and cry. I really miss my mom and dad. My world is not the same and probably never will be again. It's weekends like this when I feel completely lost because I should be at their house, grilling some chicken or taking my mom to Sam's Club. It's a void that can never be filled. People say, oh you have you're family..your kids. But no one can really understand. I miss my routine. My kids do too. That was their grandparents. I just don't know how to move on. Will the pain ever go away?

I'll continue this another time, enough for today.

I just wanted to blog a little update on myself. On January 21st 2014 I had the second procedure of the duodenal switch. I was not nervous at all, in fact I was quite tired and said to the anesthesiologist, lets do this. lol

I weighed in that morning at 222.5. I was in surgery for 2 hours and 50 minutes and then moved to recovery for an hour and a half. Finally I was moved up to the floor and in my room where my husband was finally able to see me. I was still out of it until later that evening. The next day I was started on clear liquids and lots of walking. I weighed in at 106 kilos (233 lbs). I was taken back a little by that number, but they assured me it was due to fluids etc from the surgery. I continued to do well there at Scottsdale Healthcare Shea, I had very little pain and on Thursday the 24th I was discharged. I am still on clear liquids until my post-op appointment and nutrition class on Tuesday, the 28th. I am SICK of jello and chicken broth. I have broken the rules and tasted some applesauce and scrambled eggs. I know...shame on me.

This morning I weighed myself for the first time since being home, just out of curiosity, and I am 214 lbs. That's so unbelievable. This is my lowest weight so far. I haven't been this weight since I was a freshman in high school. Just wow. Oh and I only have to lose 7 more pounds and I will have lost a total of 200 pounds! Is that crazy or what?

Well, I'm off for my walk.

That is the question the doc asked me today. Well duh, I wanna get switched. I had my appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Blackstone and she says that I'm in a "perfect" place to have the 2nd stage of the DS. My labs were pretty good, with a few exceptions. Like D3 was low and protein was borderline low. Everything else was great. My BMI is currently a 39 which still qualifies me for bariatric surgery. (yup, still considered obese even after losing 130+lbs). I asked her tons of questions and she spent over an hour with me. I was so impressed that she did that. Just goes to show was a great doctor she is. So next on the agenda is to submit my paperwork to the insurance company for approval. I should have an answer next week, hopefully. Last year, it only took my insurance 1 day to reply, lets hope this time they are as swift in their decision. I'm so thrilled right now. It's like going through the whole process all over again but it's a good feeling. Unless they deny it, that would suck. But I'm just going to think positive, happy thoughts and pray lots. I really miss my mom right now and wish she was here so I could share this news with her. She was always my #1 supporter. I want to make her proud. After getting home from Phoenix and putting away all my TJ goodies, I went to the gym and had a great workout. I just wish I someone could go and workout with me. *sigh*

Ok, I'm off to bed now. Night night OH peeps.

*Barbara*

It's been crazy that's for sure. OMG..136 pounds gone? That's what the scale is telling me as of this morning. It's been an amazing trip so far, but hey I'm not getting off here. I still have 70-75ish pounds to go. I'm meeting with Dr. Blackstone on the 21st this month to discuss part 2 of the DS. I hope we can get this done, the sooner the better I always say. That's all I got to say for now, gotta get my bootie to the gym. Peace.

I'm not very good at keeping up with my blog, but every now and then is better than nothing at all I suppose. I just wanted to give a little update. I am 7 weeks away from my one year surgery anniversary. As of today I have lost 126 lbs with the VSG and total overall weight loss of 174 lbs. That's just crazy to see those kind of numbers. I never really thought It was possible to lose this kind of weight. Every day I feel better and have so much energy. I'm still tracking my food on MFP and exercising 3-4 times a week. I wish it could be more, but right now I'm taking care of my mom who is very sick and I run a business and take care of my family too. It's amazing that I even have time to sleep... well that is actually something I need to work on...

I'm really excited because I finally got an appointment with Dr. Blackstone on November 21st for my one year check up and to discuss part two of the duodenal switch. I still have 80-90 lbs to lose and I don't think I can do it with the VSG alone. Don't get me wrong. I love my VSG but the weight loss is really starting to slow down. I struggle with the same 2 pounds for a week or more sometimes. So where I used to lose 10 pounds in a month, I'm now barely losing 3-5 pounds a month. I'm scared that I won't reach my goal weight and get to a healthy BMI with the VSG alone. Therefore I want to talk to Dr. Blackstone about finishing my DS.

Also, I am going to be doing two 5K runs this fall. The first is on October 12th. It is called Paint the Town Purple. This run is going to benefit Amberly's Place, which is a local shelter for victims of domestic and sexual abuse. So this one is really special to me and even if I have to walk the whole thing, I will finish. Then on November 9th I'm going to be doing my very first 5K Color Me Rad.  I've always wanted to be a part of that.  So I can't wait. I've been training and getting myself ready by doing the Couch-to-5k program. I'm really taking my time with this and I'm having a hard time getting past the first week and moving on to week 2. Like I said, even if I have to WALK, I'm doing both of these 5K's. Not much else to say right now, I'm exhausted and will probably write more tomorrow.

Nighty Night :)) Zzzz

..having the VSG or having hernia surgery? I think hernia surgery wins this one.

I am sooo excited to be attending the 2nd Annual OAC Your Weight Matters Conference in Phoenix August 15-18. There are going to be so many awesome speakers and breakout sessions and lunch with the experts and the social activities! OMG Not to mention meeting all these wonderful people I've met in the course of my WLS. AHHHH!! Can you tell I'm freaking excited?? I'll be sure to post updates on the conference as it happens and hopefully some pics too. oh and if your interested in going here's the site: www.ywmconvention.com (sorry I don't know how to create a hyperlink, just copy and paste in your browser).

Check it out and get registered and meet me there!

It feels like I haven't updated in quite a while, but I guess that's because it feels like nothing much has changed to come here and write about. However, a lot has happened recently including my 6 month follow up.

First of all, I was very disappointed that I didn't get to see Dr. Blackstone herself, AGAIN. Instead I got to see the nurse practitioner. Nothing against NP's but I really needed to talk to Dr. B. This chick just didn't do it for me. She didn't answer half my questions and I left their office very upset.

Let me explain. My lab work was pretty good, except for vitamin D. It was only 24, but it was up from my pre-op labs, which was only 11. Still deficient none-the-less so she prescribed me D-3.  Great, another pill. Then she goes on to discuss my weight loss and says I'm doing great and we talked about water and protein intake. She asks how much protein I am getting each day, and I proudly replied anywhere from 60-90 grams. She looks at me surprised and says, Wow 90?  Yes, I said.  I have 3 good healthy meals with lean high protein food and 1 or 2 protein supplements each day. She tells me that I should be careful with that amount of protein because I could go over on my calories and I need to keep my calories under 1000. LOL....seriously? I don't go over 700. On average, according to MFP I'm consuming about 600 calories per day. 

Moving on.... I asked Miss NP when can we schedule the second part of my DS?  She was completely unaware that I was a DS patient and thought I was a VSG. She paused for a minute to read my surgical report. Then said, 'Well, Dr. Blackstone likes to wait at least 9-12 months before doing the second part, to give your intestines a chance to decrease the inflammation that's there, so that the staples will hold up much nicer and you'll have fewer chance of complications.'  Hmmm that's odd because Dr. Blackstone told my husband when I was in recovery that she would prefer to wait 6 months or so then do my part 2. 

Anyway, I'm starting to get upset at this point, my eyes are watering up and I just want to cry. I do not want to wait 6 more months. I am ready for it now. I have lost a LOT of weight and we just need to do this now. Then Miss NP says that I need do my 1 year labs in October then see Dr. B in November. She said I need to book my appointment with her NOW because she is very busy and books months ahead of time. I'm thinking, Great Let's do this... and get me out of here.  Then we go out to the front office area to talk to the scheduler. This chick says oh no, you have to do your labs first then call for your appointment.  (I'm boiling now)

So I grab my lab slip and prescriptions and leave the office. I have made up my mind that I want a new surgeon. This is complete BS. I have not been happy with them since the day of my surgery and it's only getting worse. So who else does the DS that's not 500 miles away? I don't even know, but I'm going to start looking.

Then there's the second big thing to happen to me this past week... After my trip to Scottsdale, we get home and return the rental car, my husband and youngest daughter are with me. We stop to eat at a restaraunt before going to my oldest daughters drama performance at her high school.  We leave the restaraunt, drove about a mile then BAM! We get into a pretty bad car accident. No one was seriously hurt, except for my beautiful Ruby (my 08 Dodge Avenger). The dumb a*s that hit us was trying to change lanes and apparently we were in his blind spot, therefore he hit us...at about 35 mph. Both of our front airbags were deployed. Not fun at all. I got punched so hard in the face and the chemicals from the airbag made my face and neck feel like it was on Fire.  Now we are in the midst of dealing with insurance companies, repair shops and rental cars and its just way more than I can handle right now, especially with my mom being so ill. Thankfully my awesome husband is here for me and taking the reins on this one.

That's about all for now...I will try to update as soon as I know what's going to happen with my part 2 DS.

Toodles

..since I've updated my progress and whats going on in my life. So here I am. 5 1/2 months post op and about 80 pounds lost since my VSG on 11/7/12 and a total loss of 128 pounds since my consultation with the surgeon in 3/2012.  I think it's been going very well and I haven't had any major problems at all.  I'm consistently averaging about 80 grams of protein per day and 800 kcal or less. My nutritionist and doc seem pleased with that.  Recently my family and I joined the Y.  I absolutely love it. I had a membership to the gym a few years ago and I couldnt work out for more than 10 minutes without stopping to breath and sit down. Now I'm in there for 30-45 minutes and kicking butt.  I'm hoping to see better losses now that I am exercising more.

Favorite Protein Supplements right now are:

• Quest bars (160-200 cal and 20 grams protein) Tons of great flavors. My favorite is the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
• Jay Robb Whey Protein Isolate (vanilla and chocolate 110 cal and 25 grams protein + your milk stats)
• Unjury Protein Powder (Chocolate Splendor 100 cal and 220 grams protein + milk)

Ok..on to other news. My mom has been seriously ill for quite some time now.  She has end-stage COPD. She was being evaluated by UCLA medical center for a lung transplant.  However, that isn't likely to happen at this point due to the fact that she is declining so rapidly and has had multiple hospitilazations and is on numerous medications that have caused her to gain massive amounts of weight. My mom however, is a fighter and very optimistic. She "thinks" that she will get a lap band or other weight loss surgery and then get on the transplant list once she loses 75 pounds. I guess if that keeps her going then that's one thing. But relistically I know she won't ever have WLS because she is too high risk. If she were to go under sedation, she would never wake up. She is oxygen dependent and uses 10 Liters of oxygen continuous 24/7. She also has severe pulmonary hypertension.  I am still taking it all in but I know she isn't going to be around much longer. I pray for and strongly believe in miracles though, so if she wants to hang in there and fight the fight then I'm going to let her. At her most recent appointment at UCLA, the doctor told her to go home and get her affairs in order.  Soo..that's where we are.

Hope everyone out there is doing awesome and rocking their tool! If you're the praying kind, then please do so for my mom, Melinda.  Good vibes are also welcome. 

God Bless & Good Night to ya'll

...give or take a couple of days of course. Since having the VSG on November 7th, I have lost 39 pounds (plus I lost 48 pounds before surgery) with a combined weight loss of 87 pounds. So I want to just reflect on the past two months for anyone who may be deciding to have this surgery. This is only my personal experience.  I thought I was prepared for life after, but soon realized I was not. I can't just go into my fridge or pantry and pull something out and just eat a couple of tablespoons of it. I have learned to become so conscious of everything that goes into my mouth. I thought I was already doing this before surgery...haha not even close. Now I am reading labels on everything, if I try a new recipe I'm reading the nutritional information. If it doesn't benefit my body in some way, ie. high in protein, good source of calcium, low in fat, low in carbs... then I am not putting it in my mouth. Sure I had a bite of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. It doesn't mean I'm going to do that everyday.  And journal your food. Oh my god this is so important. If it isn't written down somewhere you tend to forget that you ate it. I use the oh-so-wonderful MyFitnessPal. Amazing site it has every type of food you can imagine, and if they don't you can add it yourself. So there is no reason not to journal your food. ok, now I'm going to be a big hippocrite when I say, Water is so important. You have to drink, drink, and drink some more. They tell you that 64 oz is the minimum amount of water to drink everyday. I SUCK at drinking water. If I'm lucky, I'll get in 32 or 40, but I've never been able to hit 64.  The other thing I'm horrible at is my PROTEIN. You have to take in a minimum of 60 grams of protein everyday (this is what my surgeon recommended for me, others may be different) When it comes to protein, I'm trying my hardest, but I'm coming up short and only getting an average of 40 gr. per day. I know this could change if I could only find a protein shake that I like. Not even like...heck if I could just tolerate one, I'd buy them by the case.  Oh yes and Exercise is another very important component of my weight loss journey. When I first came home from the hospital I was surprisingly energetic. About a week out, I was moving my butt. Walking and cleaning house and walking again. It was great! Then out of no where I starting having really bad pain in my right hip and knees. Now its my left and right hips. I can not walk for more than 5 minutes, then I need to sit and relieve the pain on my hips. I would love to be in the pool, unfortunately its January and 35 degrees outside.

So needless to say, there is a lot more work involved than I had imagined. But it is all very doable. After all...we decided to have this surgery to change our life. Our surgery is a tool and we must learn to use our tool properly. It isn't going to work itself. I wish I would have lost more weight by now, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm losing, (albeit slowly) but it's better than gaining. People are telling me how great I look, even though I don't see it. My clothes are falling off, so it must be true.

I meet with my nut and exercise people next week, so I'm looking forward to that. I want to get a list of exercises I can do without putting strain on my hip joints. It should be an interesting appointment.

HAPPY NEW YEAR OH FRIENDS!