bferrari
Feel the fear.....and do it anyways.......
Nov 15, 2007
Time for an update. I have had more medical tests and nothing has surfaced that will delay the surgery! December 3rd remains the big day! Tomorrow I see the anesthesiologist and the nutritionist, and Monday I start the 2 week pre-surgery liquid diet to shrink my liver. WoooWhoooo!
I have been doing ALOT of reading about emotional eating. I know I am a huge emotional overeater, so I know I will be finding new, healthier ways to cope with my feelings. Like the title of an article says "They did surgery on my stomach, not my brain."
I actually believe the REAL surgery that will happen is much more personal, a soul surgery of sorts. Once the body gets that kick start into weight loss motion, the mind and spirit will begin to change and grow, too. I am one of those people who believe you cannot change one part of yourself without changing other parts. 
I really like a quote I found that says "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." MLK,Jr.
Its all about trust in the end. Trusting the message and the messenger....and myself....that I am doing the right thing. Amen.
No Lapband for me either.....
Sep 08, 2007
She did talk to me about the DS procedure. This could solve more than one big problem I have....getting rid of both the polyps AND lose weight. I need to be scoped by Dr. Lane so he can determine if it is safe to cut my stomach without cutting through a polyp. This could lead to uncontrolable bleeding.
So...in some ways I feel like I am starting this process all over again, and I am because I have a new surgeon and a new potential procedure. I think after the big let down (no RNY) I have learned to sufficiently protect myself from a repeat episode, so I am doing okay.
One thing I have learned is this: there is no such thing as "personal plans." Not one has worked out yet the way I had hoped, so the lesson is that there is something much bigger and better going on here than I am currently aware of.
If anyone has had any experience with Dr. Brian Lane (currently at the Wood County Center for WLS) please drop me a note and share. Thanks!
No RNY for me.......
Aug 07, 2007
So....I finally seen my surgeon today. I thought I was really cruison along, had insurance approval and all....but...he cannot do the RNY because there are just too many stomach polyps. The risk of bleeding would be too high, plus my gastro doc will need to be able to biopsy them the rest of my life because, while they are benign now, some are at risk of becoming cancerous.So...I did something I have NEVER done in my life before...I broke down crying right there in front of my surgeon
...I put so much hope into this visit. He did tell me that he will recommend to my insurance company that I get a Lapband, and if they will not pay for that then he wants me to come back to see him and talk about the "VBG" bariatric procedure. He has only done one before on a woman for the same reasons he would do one on me.
So, my new direction for now is to agressively pursue his recommendations and HOPE once again that God has had a better plan all along for me.
I am going to continue to take the training to become a support group leader. I am not going to give up as long as I am alive. But right now, I am feeling a little beaten down. It doesn't help that I am post-menopausal and have been clean out of estrogen for a few months now
....but I broke down and asked for something (prempro) because of night sweats and no sleep. I am only on pill #5 but at least I now can look forward to relief.I just found my way to the OFF board (over fifty forum) yesterday and this has certainly been an act of God. I am VERY grateful that so many people seem to care about me - a perfect stranger right now. What a gift.
I am NOT going to throw the towel in. But I am going to have a good cry and thank God for one more day of life to live the best I know how to.
If you took the time to read this, then please take the time to pray for me right now. I know my vision is "clouded" by my lack of estrogen and physical pain I am from being obese. Thank you
....you never know when an angel will show up in your life, tap you on the shoulder and say "hey, hi, I'm here, your not alone anymore."~Barb
Waiting and waiting some more........
Jul 14, 2007
I seen my surgeon last week, and he decided he wants some more tests done on my stomach before he can decide if I am a candidate for this surgery. So...I will see him again on August 7th to discuss his decision.
So, waiting is starting to get to me...wondering what will I feel if he says "no," this surgery is not for you. I honestly can't imagine right now what I would feel, because I believe this surgery will save my life. It has been such a long road already, and sometimes I just get plain tired.
I have been reading so many other posts on OH and honestly, this is where I get my hope from that I CAN do this. I am just waiting to find out if in fact, I will be getting this surgery.
Pre-surgery Date!!!!
Jul 04, 2007
Hi! Well....I completed ALOT of pre-surgery stuff and my insurance company approved a visit for me to see Dr. White on July 10th!!!!!!!!!!! So.....I will be spending a couple of hours there that day, and I am thinking I get a surgery date that day.
Time is really starting to fly by now.......I am working hard on the pre-surgery recommendations the nutrionist made so my liver will shrink some before the big day. Today when I took all the pills I normally take it occured to me for the first time that one day soon, most of these will not longer be needed, or in much lower doses. I will NEVER complain about the vitamins and supplements I will need to take the rest of my life in exchange for getting rid of some of these pills!!!
Most people have been very supportive of my decision to get this surgery, but yesterday I met my first "doubting Thomas." I really didnt say much to her, and she just flatly said back to me "There isn't nothing wrong with you to do something like THAT to yourself!" I looked right back at her and said "Oh, you have no idea what you are saying." And that was the end of that!
Enough about me....just want you all to know that this website is my one big link for support (outside of the July 11th support group, etc.) and I hope to make and keep some supportive friends!!!!
