berruiser
Prelude and commentary to this particular journey!!!
I hate red tape and small minded people with power! That pretty much describes my intro into the effort to get approved for this surgery 31 months ago. I was introduced to the idea of WLS by my PCP right after we moved into our new home here in Castaic. I had to admit that even then I was immediately encouraged at the thought of getting help. I weighed 375 and was doomed to get worse because of the Diabetes and Insulin shots, the plantar fascitis in both feet that wouldn't allow me to walk or exercise, the need for thyroid medication, and the final nail, the blood pressure meds I was just prescribed. You see I was always told that once you start BP meds, you never get to stop them. So, when my Dr. suggested that I was a good candidate for the surgery, I was stoked. Then it started: the nightmare of Ins. Companies and last minute changes. I started a 9 month weight loss program thru our Med Group that was a prerequisite for the surgery. I went to the nutritionist, started the classes and then some knucklehead ran into the car my weight loss instructor was driving. I was told that there would be a delay in the classes for a couple of weeks. 7 months later, I got a notice that the instructor was not coming back due to her injuries. Hey things happen! I asked the Med Group about what happens to my class time investment and they tell me that I have to start over. 1 year down the tubes and I gained 20 pounds. I then started the inagural 6-month class that is the new prerequisite for the WLS and things look like they are going along swimmingly till my wife's company decides to sell out to a bigger fish. I contact Blue Cross in November of 2004 and find out that I am confirmed/affirmed for the surgery and there are no forseeable problems ahead. WRONG! In January of 2005 my wife comes home with the news that her new company is changing healthcare from Blue Cross to UnitedHealthcare. Bet you can see what's coming can't ya? I thought they would wash me out too, but when I called UHC in Feburary they told me that nothing in process would change and that I was good to go still. Being the pessimist that I am, and realizing that I will be done with my 6-month class and approvable on May 2, I double checked with my Med Group AND UHC again that the transition to UHC wouldn't be a problem. GOOD TO GO Mr. BERRU! Woohoo, the ticket is punched and I am on my way to the losing side. WRONG AGAIN! Since my new plan was a POS instead of a HMO I had no reason to wait for the class to end and filed with my surgeon to start the paperwork for the surgery.
The transition in insurance was April 15, and on April 17 I was informed by my surgeon that I no longer had clearance from the carrier for a risky, elective cosmetic procedure. Had I been able to get the Med Group to process me 2 weeks earlier, I'm 150 pounds lighter today. Turns out that UnitedHealthCare was only the management shell that handled the healthcare business of the company, and that the new company made the payments on it's own. I asked for a policies and procedures manual emailed to me prior to me raising a stink and low-and-behold there it was in black and white on April 20th, an exclusion for WLS procedures. But wait, there's more... when I checked the policies and procedures manual dated April 16th (thats just 4 days earlier) there was no such exclusion listed. I called and asked why the convenient change and was told that they had been considering this for two years but only got around to it now. Even Bill Clinton couldn't expect anyone to buy that.
The money grubbing medical Facists had won and I was out. If I had the money to fight this atrocity, I could pay for the surgery myself. I decided that there was some reason that God was allowing me to get this little dose of patience administered in this fashion.
On to January 2006 -
My wife is dismissed on the 31st and she is out of work for 3 months. She is looking for the perfect job and i tell her that she should be looking for the one that blesses her most and to heck with the insurance. I would have said hell, but we just spoke about God in the earlier paragraph and I decided to PG it from here out. I really do trust that God cares more about us than we give him credit for. So I figure that if God blesses my wife with a husband that blesses her then God will allow for all our needs. So I gave up trying to have the surgery and started to encourage my wife to get the best deal she could get for herself. Woudn't you know it, she gets a job on April 15th that comes outta left field, is challenging for her, gives her the pay she asked for, AND has ins available on day 1 of her employment. Not only that but by June 10, I am approved for the surgery. By July 10 I have a surgery date of 8-22, and here I sit laying out the story just 6 days away from being carved up like a Sunday roast.
Yikes! Here comes the moral part. Close your eyes if you don't want to get the best part of this thing. In the Bible, Joseph was hated by his brothers and was sold down the river into slavery. He ultimately became the 2nd most powerful person in all Egypt and was allowed to be the salvation to all his family even though he endured many terrible trials. Joseph told his brothers that though they meant his selling into slavery for evil, God used it for good, and saved many people through his trial. I put my dough on the Heavenly Father. Enough of the prequel for now, heres the start of the pound for pound action.
Aug 15, 2006 -
I think I have this journaling thing cooking now and I will try and be both brief and concise. I am 53 years old, have a fabulous wife that I don't deserve, and 2 kids that I am very proud of. That is precisely the reason I am having the surgery. You see, I have allowed a lifetime of failure on a personal level, concerning my weight, to bring me to my knees. I want very much to be around to be the blessing to my wife that she thought she was buying when we got married, and I want to be able to spoil grandchildren at some time as well.
A very good friend once told me something that has haunted me for many years, he said "Look around Tony, you don't see any OLD FAT Guys, do you? There may be old fat women out there, but no old fat guys". I need to change my involvement in that formula so that I'm no longer a factor in it. Sooooo...as of the 22nd of this month (Aug. 2006) I am taking the best possible step available to me and I am putting myself in the hands of Dr. Phillipe Quilici and St. Josephs Hospital staff. I am very excited to have a chance at new life here. The OH Men's Group board is fantastic. I cannot even have imagined how much encouragement and knowledge is there for someone that has never really taken advantage of support group type stuff for fear of being turned into a psychobabbler from The pit of Hell. Anyway, that's it for now, I'm off to my PCP for the pre-surgery physical.
So much for being brief.lol
August 15, 2006 Pre-op Physical
The physical was a breeze. Just a bunch of factfinding questions that are designed to find the odd bit of info that might cause the surgery to be risky, but other than that...No Problem. Got some blood drawn, which I don't like much because they usually don't find veins on me well, had my chest x-rays, and what physical would be complete without the flying finger wave for the prostate exam. No problems and I'm good to go next tuesday. WooHoo!
August 18, 2006
Just got back from my appointment with the pre-admit at the hospital. Up till now I have just been on easy street emotionally since I've been given the insurance company approval for the WLS. Today I experienced something I wasn't really expecting...Fear. I don't know what hit me but I was in the booth answering the questions of the pre-admit nurse and a wave of anxiety kinda rushed over me. I really wanted to bolt outta there, although at my size bolt is not the right description of speed and imagery. None-the-less, I was afraid of the drama and trauma of this decision. After gathering myself I realize that no matter the risks, I cannot pass up this opportunity to be healthy. God is my refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefor we'll not fear though the Earth be changed, though the mountains be tossed in the depths of the sea. Psalm 46: 1-3. Soooo... I am still IN, deal those cards, pardner!
August 20, 2006
It's Sunday morning and I have been sleeping restlessly for the past week. I'm pretty antsy about this deal coming up on Tuesday. My wife is nervous for me and mostly that takes the edge off me being nervous because I get to keep reassuring her that everything will be fine. Now, however, I find myself dwelling on the most scary and even morbid possibilities that can be imagined. I have had many surgeries in the past (both knees, right shoulder, appendectomy, etc) and have never done well waking up in recovery. I'm almost phobic about it. I have lost 24 pounds in the past 12 days on this liquid diet not designed with diabetics in mind. I don't really feel like I have succeeded in doing my part since I have modified some of the liquid aspects of the diet to include thinned out oatmeal and clam chowder. Pretty stupid stuff to obsess about I think. Afterall I am down 24 pounds in 12 days. Anyway, gotta go now, I'm off to church with my sweetheart. Gotta keep current on my communication with the Big Fella, if you know what I mean.
Sunday 8-27-06 - 5 days Post Surgery
<><>OUCH! I thought I was doing good the morning of the surgery, my wife and I got to the hospital 15 minutes after 6 am and were not expected there till 6:30. My feeling was that I would get 2-3 hours to dial down with my sweetheart prior to getting into the cutting zone and then we could get some final things talked about beforehand. Wrong! When we walked into the admitting we were told that we were late and that I was first up in 20 minutes. The Dr.s office made a scheduling change and told everyone but the 3 patients. I was now rushed and poor Cathleen, who came early, had to wait another 3.5 hours. I don't get the scheduling issues at hospitals but Oh Well it got done anyway. I woke up in pretty bad pain but without a catheter (WooHoo) after a 3 hour cruise, sorry Gilligan. The nurses and staff at St Joes in Burbank were amazing. They made me feel like what I was feeling was also considered in the process and not just the rulebook. The bed was awful and there was no position that allowed me sleep that wasn't narcotically induced. However, those nurses were like my sisters, only the ones that like you though, and they encouraged me at all times. Only bad hospital thing was me and those stinkin meds. I am allergic to Morophine and was given Dilaudin instead. I needed to sleep so I kept allowing the Dilaudin, but by Thursday I was talkin to my IV drip meter like we were planning changes to a new movie script. Back in my misspent youth I never got drugs that would do that to me. I didn't care if they wanted to amputate my left big toe with no anesthesia at all, I just couldn't have anymore of the Dilaudin. By the time I was released on Friday, I thought I was really prepared for what was coming up next.
I have had a pretty good day at home on Friday, mostly sleeping, no walking (bad), but liking the lortab liquid and not feeling too much pain. Saturday I actually got back on-line and was motivated to walk by one of the Mens Message broarders to walk and I got in a 1/2 mile walk before almost passing out at my door. I felt good about it though.
Today I just want to have a good day and get in all my liquids and protein just to show myself that I can do it. Later!
BTW - Starting weight 2 weeks prior to surgery: 430. Today 397.
Thursday - Sept 7, 2006
Weight 383 - Officially down 47 lbs in 4 weeks
I had my 2 week post surgery appointment to get the staples removed from my still mondo body. However it is less mondo by 47 pounds and, though I cannot tell visually any difference, I can feel the difference in my knees. Some of the immediate bennies form this last 4 weeks are: 1 I can put my sox on without having to contort my legs on the bed in a sideways L-shape. 2. the seatbelt in my car has a little play it didn't used to have, and best car thing of all.....The steering wheel doesn't touch my pants, leaving the dirty streak near my zipper anymore. WooHoo!!! 3. Joined a gym (local YMCA) and have been working out for the first time in 20 years. See ya later, I get to go walk my dog now.
Thursday - October 5, 2006
<><><>Weight 362 - Officially down 68 lbs in 8 weeks (inc 2 week liquid pre-op)
Haven't posted in a while but I am doin pretty well. I want to weigh myslf every 10 minutes but have managed to not put my slightly-less-fat-a$$ on the scale more than at morning rising (once a day). Some guys tell me that I should only weigh myself when I see the Dr., and others like to see the progress for motivation daily, but I think I will try to wean myself off for weekly scale visits for a while. I like the daily peeks, but I can be somewhat obsessive at times (ya think) and I may benefit from a break in routine. My food consumption is going well...I hate the taste of just about everything I eat, so I have been able to work pretty well in that area. I am definately sucking big time on the calcium front. I hate that stuff but I need to get going pretty quick with the big horse pills or I will end up with brittle bones and that is just another problem that I will be adding to the future cleanup. Man, the time is flying by. I can't believe it has been 8 weeks since I was complaining about the liquid diet and now I am closing in on 70 lbs down. Well, I gotta go for now.
October 11, 2006
<><><>Went to the Dr. yesterday for my 7-week follow-up and it was a happy/downer experience. The Dr. was thrilled with the 70 lb weight loss, but I was bummed because my home scale is now measuring like the Dr's scale. Before, my home scale was 4 pounds heavier than the Dr. office scale and now they are the same. So, when I went yesterday to my office visit, I was pretty sure I was closing in on 75 pounds only to find out that I had only lost 70. I am happy, but it took a little steam outta my visit for me. Seems kinda petty when I write it down like this. Really, I am stoked about my progress. Another thing is that I have been wearing clothes that are too small for soo long, you know, wearing a 5x cotton pullover shirt and having to stretch it out while I put it on just to get it on? I am now wearing the 4x shirts and not stretching them out at all, and throwing away the 5x shirts. That is an exciting deal for me. I may make it yet.
December 4, 2006
The day has arrived to do some crowing. 104 pounds has fallen off this old pile of humanity. I figure that that is the equivalent of a 6th grader. While I know there's another 6th grader still hiding in there somewhere, I have served him notice that, like his buddy, I will hunt him down and kill that little fat demon sooner, rather than later. I have spent countless dollars over my lifetime feeding him, but now is the time for Retribution, and I will have mine. I'm out for now!
