Bellababe
Today is Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - beautiful day and I'm finally feeling fabulous again! During the time when I was recouperating from my most recent surgery and subsequent staph infection, I also suffered with a bout of gout!!! OMG - that was the MOST excruciating pain I've ever experienced bar none. Neither my gall bladder surgery, WLS or tummy tuck surgery was as painful - with those surgeries, I was given a morphine drip which I only used once right after the WLS - however, had I had one for the gout...I would have never taken my hand off the button! Boy am I glad that's over with - can't figure out why I got it - I'm not a drinker, don't eat much read meat, blah blah blah...my surgeon said it was probably because I wasn't drinking enough fluids (which unfortunately, I'm not) and not flushing the uric acid out of my body. I went from having a difficult time in learning how not to eat and drink to not drinking enough!! Ah, I'll master it eventually. Eight pounds to go and I'll be in the 100's...YEAH...and my god...my stomach is FLAT FLAT FLAT...amazing...the swelling is almost gone - initally after the surgery, having the infection and having to heal, it was pretty swollen so I didn't get to really see the benefit of the tummy tuck...but now...it is great and I'm so happy I had it done. Would I do it all over again...ABSOLUTELY...no question. I am, however done with surgeries...I don't care about how anything else looks - I'm a 53 year old woman - not trying to be a 23 year old woman...I have embraced who I am and how I look...I'll leave the bikini's and the mini skirts to the young chicks who rightfully should be wearing them - I had my day in the sun...and now the sun is shining in a different direction! I was not an overweight child, teenager or young adult. I began putting on weight at about 30 years old - and instead of taking it off when it was only 20 lbs. I ignored it and with each passing year watched the numbers on the scale get higher and higher. Every January I'd make another New Year's resolution to make this the year I was going to be successful and lose weight...those resolutions never came to fruition. Eventually, I convinced myself that being overweight wasn't so bad...now instead of being called "fat" we can call ourselves "Rubenesque" or a "BBW" (big beautiful woman) - clothes were much more fashionable and there were lots of stores to shop in...however, in my heart of hearts, they weren't the stores I wanted to be in. Being overweight, I had to go the extra mile...or miles...to look good. I took care of every aspect of my appearance...my hair was always perfect, my makeup impecable (I was a makeup artist for Chanel cosmetics at one point), knew how to dress for my body and bought good clothes, got regular manicures and pedicures, wore jewelry and perfume and had the admiration of friends and colleagues who thought I was a well put together woman. Yep, I controlled it all...all except my ever increasing weight. I joined EVERY single weight loss program out there at one time or another...Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Herbalife, The Zone, Atkins, Grapefruit...and tons more including pills that were deemed dangerous like Fen Phen, and even other things that I won't mention...but if you've been in my shoes, you know what I'm talking about. Then about 5 years ago, two young women I work with had the surgery - this was something new to me for I had never heard of WLS. I didn't see them often as they were located on the other side of the college campus where we all work. One day, we were at a meeting and I was floored by how they looked. However, I wasn't ready for something that drastic...I told myself that I could lose the weight on my own...HA! Some years passed and I was still putting on weight...now it was ridiculous...sometimes I barely ate but the weight still kept coming on. I was frustrated and disgusted...and the numbers just seemed too great to even comprehend losing. In addition to my full time job here at the college, I worked two nights a week in an upscale department store in the cosmetics department. A woman in Customer Service that I had become friendly with over the years was a big girl also - she weighed a little less than I did but she was shorter. It had gotten to the point where she could barely walk. Then one day in September of 2005, I saw her and she was noticably thinner - I asked her what she was doing. She took my hand and we went into her office - she then told me that in July she had WLS and has since lost over 40 lbs!!! I was amazed...she lifted her shirt and showed me her 6 little holes - she was lucky enough to have it done laproscopically rather than be cut down the front. I couldn't believe my eyes. Although I was intrigued about the surgery and amazed at her quick results, I still wasn't ready. A couple of weeks later, I had asked my husband if he would go walking with me (yet another attempt at losing weight) - well he flat out said "no" - and that he wasn't going to get caught up again in my battle - that it was something I had to do. I was so angry with him and ignored him the rest of the evening. That night, I had gotten up to go to the bathroom - which had become a nightly ritual...something that I never had to do before...and upon getting back into bed...and I swear this is true...it was like a voice came out of nowhere and said "Suzanne, stop being scared and have the surgery." It flipped me out...don't care if it was real or my imagination...but that was the turning point in my life. The next morning, I called my friend at the store and asked her who her surgeon was and got his phone number...I immediately dialed him up and made an appointment for a consultation...and lucky for me, it was the following Friday. I figured that this would be a good time to have this surgery - I was in good health - my blood pressure was only slightly high, no diabetes, no sleep apnea...but I couldn't climb stairs or walk too far without feeling like I was going to die...I hated the summer because of the heat...my stomach was hitting my steering wheel and so on...I knew that it was now or never...better to have this surgery while in good health rather than wait until things started going wrong. I met with him and he explained everything to me - we decided that the Roux N Y was the best for me and that he would do it laproscopically if it was possible. He then gave me the papers listing all of the doctors and their numbers that I would have to see in order to meet the requirements - and the best thing was that he accepted my insurance as did 3 out of the 4 doctors I had to see. Papers in hand, I went home and told my husband that we had to talk. We sat at the dining room table and I could tell that he was a bit anxious as to what I had to say. I told him that I had decided to have WLS and that I hoped he would be supportive of my decision. His eyes welled up with tears and he said I am so happy for you and I support you 1000% - I was so joyful. Within two weeks of seeing my surgeon, I had all of my appointments booked and felt very empowered. The first doctor I saw was the pulmonologist who accessed my lung capacity, gave me a chest x-ray and then an approval for surgery!! One down, 3 to go. The next one I saw was the nutritionist and then the psychiatrist - both of whom approved me for surgery. The last one I saw was the cardiologist - I was a bit nervous to see him hence making that my last stop. It was a two day stress test...the first day being on the treadmill and then being injected with something...after the treadmill, I then had to go under a machine that I guess watched how my heart was working after the rigorous...and I mean rigorous workout I just had...then the next day was a piece of cake...I just was injected and put under the machine so they could see how my heart worked at rest. That evening the cardiologist called saying that I was cleared for surgery!!! I was elated! It was the end of November and in about 5 weeks I had all of the doctors appointments done. I then wrote up my paper for my insurance company, complete with journals and all of the necessary paperwork from all of the doctors. I submitted them in mid December and I finally heard back from them on February 7...with a denial!!! I was crushed - but not defeated - they didn't know who they were dealing with. I was told that most of the time, with this insurance company, it was a game...a formality...to deny you the first time out. I quickly resubmitted my paperwork with a fabulous appeal letter detailing my life up to that point. Within a month I had an approval - I called my surgeon immediately and got my May 1st surgery date. For the first time in years, I knew that my life was really going to change..it was no longer going to be a fantasy...no more "if onlys" or "maybe this summer I will wear a bathing suit." It was going to become a reality. My surgery date came and my husband and father went to the hospital with me. I went through admitting quickly and was in the the prep room within 30 minutes. As they wheeled me into the OR, I gave my dad and husband a big smile and "thumbs up" gesture. I had absolutely NO fears whatsoever - I had complete faith and trust in my surgeon and maintained my extremely positive outlook. My surgery took 5 hours - a little longer than usual, but Dr. Roth said that he went in and "tuned up" what he had just done...fine by me...I didn't know it! I must say that I woke up and really wasn't in too much pain - I did have a morphine drip, but I only pressed the button perhaps right out of surgery - I'm not one for being too drugged up - and I have a rather high tolerance for pain. That evening, my brother came by to visit and with the help of him and my husband, I was walking down the hall a few hours after having my surgery! It was amazing. I was released two days later and since I had lots of sick time, I was able to stay home and relax for 3 weeks. I got to learn about my "new" body and all the "new" things it was going through...especially the bathroom things...and I'll leave it at that. It was a good time for me and a beautiful time of year...spring...a new beginning...matter of fact, I "adopted" two songs that I continually listened to before and after my surgery...Beginnings by Chicago was my theme before my surgery and Feeling Stronger Every Day...also by Chicago became my theme song after my surgery. I was very blessed - my recovery went very smoothly - I did get nauseous sometimes when I ate too fast - but other than that no problems. I was very tired in the beginning but as with anything else, this does pass. I took my supplements and lived my life. Each week was like another new beginning - the weight was just melting off me. About three months after my surgery, my hair did begin to thin out - I have to say that was the scariest part for me - being in the shower and when rinsing my hair, having handfuls coming out - it was a bit unnerving - but again, this too shall pass!! Now, here I am just about a year out - today is April 27 and on May 1 I will be celebrating my one year anniversary since my surgery. This year has been one of wonder and excitment. I cannot believe how much my life has changed - not only in the way that I look but the way that I know approach life. I have tons of energy and just want to keep going - I no longer stop myself from doing things - I have a zest for life that I haven't had since I was a teenager. I am looking forward to the summer - last summer was great as I was a few months post op - but this summer will be my first "real" summer as an almost thin person. You don't realize how much it means to just feel "normal" until you notice that you are "normal" now. What I mean is no one is staring at you because of your size...you slip in and out of things with ease...chairs in restaurants are now comfortable...you can cross your legs in any seat you sit in including the ones in the movie theaters...you have to pull your sit up in your car in order to reach the pedals...you shop in stores that you never could before...you catch your reflection and are really surprised that it's you...you notice that men are looking at you approvingly...the list goes on and on. I must say that there is some resentment on my part - I am the same caring, good human being that I was before my surgery - I hate the fact that just because one changes their outside, people treat you differently...was I not deserving of a smile or having a door held for me before my surgery...I guess according to society, I wasn't. But that's water under the bridge...so I now face each new day with all the wonder of a child and I thank God each and every day for all of my blessings. Well, yesterday May 1, 2007 was my one year anniversary since having my weight loss surgery. I have lost so far 125 lbs and want to lose another 45. This has been an amazing year - the profound changes that have taken place not only with my body, but within "me" has been wonderful. I have always been an upbeat, happy person - now I am even more so - I like the woman that is emerging - a woman of confidence, compassion and understanding. This journey is not just one of change but of inner discovery - my life's picture has become clearer. I live life with gusto - I no longer hide in the shadows or prevent myself from doing things because I'm embarrassed of my weight. I now understand why some call it a "rebirth" for it truly is a new beginning. Before my surgery, I came to this site everyday and devoured the journals of those who had gone before me - they gave me hope and inspiration. I looked at the before and after photos and for the first time actually believed that this could be achieved. Now, I sit here - with my journal and before and after pictures - my hope is that it will inspire someone who is contemplating this surgery to take that all important first step to the rest of their life...the journey isn't easy...but it's not that hard either...I am a firm believer that you get out what you put in...and that if you maintain a positive outlook, things fall into place a little easier. Sometimes I find that I have to stop myself from running up to someone I see struggling to walk because of their weight and say "you don't have to live like this anymore." But I know I cannot do that - I don't think I would have appreciated that either. However, anyone that asks me about it, I tell them...the pros and the cons...and I know that the decision is up to them - I don't try to badger anyone - we all must do things at our own pace - we have to listen to our hearts and hopefully make the right decisions.
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Hello all - today is Thursday, August 7 and I finally returned to work last week. On June 23, I had my tummy tuck surgery where all went well - approximately 9 pounds of skin was removed from my abdomen area. I was in the hospital for 2 days and then was sent home - in good condition. The first week home was rough...I wasn't expecting it to be that bad. Then during the second week, I began to run a slight temperature, but it went away. Then on Sunday, July 13 I began to run a temperature of 101 - I was supposed to return to work the following day but I called and left a message that I wouldn't be coming in. I stayed in bed all day Sunday and then also on Monday. When my husband came home from work on Monday, he was alarmed by how I looked when he saw me in the bed - he took my temperature which was now 103.4 and immediately called my surgeon who said to get me to the emergency room asap and that he would meet us there. Off we go and they didn't even keep me waiting - I went right in. My surgeon was there and when he pulled up my shirt and removed the bandage, his eyes went wide. They hooked me up to all kinds of stuff and he proceeded to take a scapel and cut into a section of my incision - what came out of me was...let's just say disgusting and leave it at that. They had to clean me up three times in the ER - I was admitted and taken to a room - and again had to be cleaned up by the time I was settled into my room. The next morning, the surgeon came in to check on me and when he pulled the dressing back, he again had a very alarmed look on his face...he said something like "you shouldn't still be draining like this." He then takes his finger and puts it directly into the incision - he's feeling around (I cannot feel anything that he is doing) and suddenly says "oh my, here's the problem." Apparently, the night before he had lanced an abcess that had come to the surface of the wound. They thought that this was the problem - apparently, there was yet another abcess that was underneath that one - he proceeded to pop that one - again yuck city - but within a couple of hours, my fever broke. I was put on heavy duty intravenous antibiotics and was told that I had contracted a staph infection. I was in the hospital for 5 days - longer than for my original WLS and the tummy tuck! When I was released, I had to stay home for two more weeks - I have never in my life been out of work for 5 weeks! Thank God I had the time. From my first day home, I now have to have a visiting nurse who comes in every morning to clean, repack and dress the wound. I had a 2 1/2" wide by 3" deep open wound in my incision due to the infection. It has since shrunk a half inch both in width and depth - I'm no longer on the antibiotics and I finally feel like myself. I probably will have the nurse for the month of August as I'm told these wounds take a while to heal - but once they start to heal, they move along nicely. This was a very unexpected incident - but all is well now...hopefully!
Even with this setback, I would do it all again in a heartbeat - although I'm still swollen and told I will be for about six months, and still have the bandage part on my incision, I love the way my body looks! I can't believe that I sit down and no longer have my stomach resting on the tops of my thighs! I fit into a regular size 12 bottoms and large tops - unbelieveable - for someone who once was a 30/32 top and 3x or 26/28 bottoms (and that was never jeans either!)
I've posted a couple of new pics - I cut off my hair yesterday...wanted a change to go with the rest of me. Life is good right now and I thank God every day.
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Today is Monday, June 16 - exactly one week from today I will have my tummy tuck surgery...I am really stoked about it but I'm also a little nervous. Sometimes I feel like I am asking for too much - I had a very successful WLS - lost alot of weight but I was left with too much hanging sagging skin in my stomach area - I guess I'm just paranoid sometimes. 
I was truly amazed at how quickly the insurance company approved the surgery - my surgeon put the papers in on a Friday and the following Wednesday they called me with the approval! I guess the photos of all that skin got to them...I will keep you posted after the surgery...keep me in your prayers...thanks to all who read this. 
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Today is May 27 and just got back from a wonderful weekend...lots of WALKING...something I rarely, if ever, did 150 lbs ago!! Just got wonderful news last week...my insurance company approved my tummy tuck...YEAH...I cannot believe how fast they did it...my surgeon put the papers, along with letters from two doctors and my letter on a Friday...and on the following Wednesday, the doctor's office called me and told me I was approved...I couldn't believe it. I scheduled it for Monday, June 23 - I cannot wait to have this skin removed - my doctor said it's about 8 pounds of skin...which doesn't sound like alot, but if you think about it, it is. Not to have this hanging pouch will be amazing. The rest of my skin is in pretty good shape - with the exception of my "bat wings" - but alas, that is truly considered cosmetic - I just won't show the tops of my arms...lol...they do look weird...you can see the definition of my arm and then this skin just hangs there...they looked better when they were fat because they were solid and nothing hung...oh well. Maybe next year I'll investigate and see what that costs...but I am not pushed about having it done. I am just so thrilled to have my tummy tuck that nothing else concerns me. I feel like now, I can complete the rest of this journey.
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Well hello everyone! Today is March 14, 2008 - just two months shy of my 2 year anniversary of WLS. I have lost a total of 150 lbs - as of this morning, I weight 216 lbs!!! I cannot believe that a mere 16 pounds and I will have a "1" in front of my weight number! Amazing! Life is so good - I feel like I have to pinch myself to actually believe that I'm here. For anyone contemplating this surgery, please...get the facts and just DO IT...it will change your life forever. I never dreamed that when I weighed 366 lbs that I could ever be seeing the hundreds again. I bought a pair of jeans yesterday in size 14 petite...the lady in the store said "well, we won't be seeing you anymore - this is our smallest size." Music to my ears! Especially considering that I was at one time, wearing their highest size which was 3x pants and 30/32 in a shirt!! But it's not just about how I look...it's how I feel. To no longer be the "fat" woman - in the office, at the party, or just life in general. To be able to sit in any chair in any restaurant, or even a booth, a movie seat, a plane seat (no more seatbelt extension!) - to shop in normal clothes stores in normal sizes, to be able to walk up a hill without panting and almost dying, to wake up in the morning and not only loving the new day, but not to have those aches and pains that came with the weight. No more embarrassing moments at the doctor's office when having to be weighed...hell at one point, the scale didn't go up high enough...what a disgrace...now the first thing I do is hope on the scale. It's a whole new life people...if anyone has any questions at all, I'll be happy to share my experience with you. I know that we all don't and won't have the same experiences, but for the most part...it's pretty parallel.
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November 26, 2007 - well I've just gone through my second Thanksgiving since my surgery 1 1/2 years ago - no problems at all - matter of fact, I had to get up from the table for several reasons - I've learned to remove myself so I don't overeat - and by overeating, I mean just an extra forkful...that can put me right over the edge and then I've got to lie down for about 20 minutes until that yucky feeling passes...lol
What I find most amazing is that I no longer live to eat...I eat to live...and in my wildest dreams I could never even relate to that statement let alone live it! Since May 1, 2006 which was the date of my surgery, I have lost 144 lbs - I am a completely different person. People that have known me for years have literally walked past me not recognizing me...sometimes I'm even amazed when I see my reflection.
I must admit though, that I still have "fat eyes" - by this I mean that I still see myself sometimes as the "before" person. It takes a while before it really sets in - at least for me anyway. This past summer was one of the best in YEARS - I went to the beach just about every single weekend - it was wonderful. I cannot believe how much life I was missing out on before I had my surgery. The only thing that does bother me is how differently some people have been treating me...I'm still the same Suzanne on the inside...so I'm wrestling with the "extra" interest. I know it's a positive thing, but I'm still in shock at how being overweight makes you less important in the eyes of some...I guess I never really wanted to believe that before but from my own experiences so far and even from some of those stories on television where someone wears a fat suit and you see how society treats them...it's just a sad commentary on society..but enough lamenting.
In case I don't get here before the holidays, I want to wish everyone a happy, healthy holiday season. If you are contemplating getting the surgery...DO IT...it's a new year...make 2008 the year you change your life for the better. For those who are already on the "other side" congratulations for continued success on your journey...NEVER let anyone sidetrack you from your goals...say "thank you" every morning for a new day and love that person that you see in the mirror.
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May 16, 2007 - the journey continues - well now I've seen everything!! This past weekend I had two events to go to - one on Friday night and one on Saturday afternoon - both involved dinners - I said to my husband, "I can't stand going to these events - I just hate eating!" LOL He almost fainted! It's true - I never thought those words would pass my lips - but eating is so unimportant to me right now - the food just doesn't do it for me...and I have no problems eating anything. I've been lucky in that fact - I can eat just about anything only small portions. Believe it or not, I have not eaten a hamburger since before my surgery - I just can't do it - the thought of it makes me gag - even smelling them does that to me...who knew!!! I also don't drink soda of any kind - my doctor doesn't recommend it - and believe me, I LIVED for my diet pepsi - that was the one thing that was freaking me out most of all before my surgery - how will I not be able to drink my diet pepsi!!! Well, here I am one year and two weeks out and I haven't had a diet pepsi - I don't even think about it - I did try one a few months ago, but I just didn't like the way it felt in my stomach - and to be honest, the taste wasn't doing it for me either. I do get all my protein in...just about...although I am still bad on the water. I have to date lost 127 lbs and feel fabulous. I never thought that I'd be here actually --saying how unimportant food now is in my life - it's amazing. My journey is below if you are interested.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hi, my name is Suzanne - today is April 2, 2007 and as of April 4th, 2007 I will be 52 years old - this last year was one of the best! On May 1, 2006 I had WLS at White Plains Hospital in White Plains, New York - my surgeon was Dr. Aaron Roth...and to date, I have lost 120 lbs! Prior to my surgery I weighed 347 lbs!!!!
