beccar

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It has been a rough couple of months!  September 5, I fell asleep while driving and was air lifted to Rochester, MN.  Luckily, I had few injuries, most notably a concussion which left me with a poor short term memory for a couple of weeks.  After meeting with the surgical team, we decided to go ahead with surgery, a decission I'm glad I made!  I did end up with an obstruction when they advanced me to the pureed diet, but it was easily solved by avoiding anything by mouth for 24 hours.  I was not happy with my surgeon, who concluded my vomiting was due to my history of bulimia.  I have been in recovery for more than 3 years.  If he thought I was anywhere close to relapsing he had no business doing the surgery!  I was in the hospital for 1 week, went back for 3 bags of fluids a week later, but since then things are going great!  I am still on full liquid/pureed diet, not all pureed foods have been working for me.  I am back at work and finding it hard to remember to eat and to drink.  I really have to work hard on that!  I have lost 25 pounds so far, but I'm convinced a lot of that is water because I'm really dry!  At just over 3 weeks out, I can honestly say I haven't felt this good in years!  It's very encouraging to see the scale moving again, it gives me more motivation everytime I use it! 

Ok, I'm can't take it any longer!  This process has been all about compliance to the rules of the Dr and learning more about myself.  I know myself.  I love cotton candy, chocolate, chicken fettucini alfredo, and anything else that is completely carb overload!  I don't eat these foods often, never have because they are not special if they are common to my diet.  I don't eat large amounts of food at one time.  I rarely graze.  My metabolism is extremely slow because I have suffered from anorexia and bulimia since I was in high school.  I have lost tons of weight about 3 times, actually reaching ideal weight and keeping it there for over a year.  This last trip through recovery I have sworn to stay in recovery.  I don't want my daughters to learn my self destructive behaviors.  The only problem with this recovery is the weight gain.  I have been working with counselors and psychiatrists for a few years now, and they all agree that I am an acceptable candidate for bariatric surgery.  I have been scheduled for RNY in September.  I talked to the surgeons nurse about having a BPB-DDS done instead, but she said I don't have a high enough BMI.  They won't even do a distal RNY.  I am most afraid of failure.  I have been on controlled diets and haven't even succeeded at maintaining weight, I ALWAYS gain!  It took years to prove I wasn't sneaking food that I didn't write down.  My metabolism is just that slow!  Without the malabsorbtive part of the surgery is weight loss still possible for me??  Is proximal RNY still malabsorbtive?  HELP!!

I have recently been approved by my insurance for surgery at Mayo in Rochester, MN with Dr. Swain and have gotten a surgery date of Sept. 21!  It seems like so far away, but I'm sure it will go by quickly (but I've never been accused of having too much patience!).  Now I just have to focus on AT LEAST maintaining my weight loss so far, hopefully lose a little more!  I wish it could be done tomorrow!