carrie E.
A sad ending, but a new begining.
Sep 21, 2011
I don't even know where to begin.
For the last 2 months I have been with my brother who is 42 and was terminal with cancer, he found out he had pancreatic cancer that spread to his liver July 2ND and died Aug 30Th, just 7 weeks later. I had the privilege to spend the whole time with him, I miss him so much, he was my best friend life just couldn't get anymore sadder for me right now. leaving my family in Ontario was hard, my mom still to this day cries all day, this to breaks my heart.
I came back last Friday to face a few medical challenges myself #1 my hip and #2 a scan to see if I have cancer. night sweets along with a mass sticking out my side near my kidney....so the battle begins. Not only have i been fighting this battle to get the WLS from Dr pace for the past 5 years now I have to face this. They say God doesn't give you more then you can handle but I'm not sure anymore....I'm not one to surcome to depression or suicide don't get me wrong, I could never be so unselfish to do that to my kids but a nice cozy hole somewhere would be awesome...lol....I will be having my hip surgery within the next 6 weeks due to a hole in my bone and a large amount of deterioration to my femur. My orthopedic surgeon had sent me to another ortho for a consult because my case is so complicated with my weight and the mess my bones are in...my new ortho was disappointed I have not yet even had my apt to see Dr Pace. I have stopped reading the forum because this only depresses me more when I see people getting apts when they have only just sent in referrals this year, I feel it's not fair to all the others who have been waiting for years....I know at least 10 woman who are waiting for WLS on his list with no medical problems and are lower BMI's and still no apts, they have been waiting for years like me and it's not fair....I feel very sad for them as well as myself.
I want a chance to live just as much as everyone else.
1 comment
For the last 2 months I have been with my brother who is 42 and was terminal with cancer, he found out he had pancreatic cancer that spread to his liver July 2ND and died Aug 30Th, just 7 weeks later. I had the privilege to spend the whole time with him, I miss him so much, he was my best friend life just couldn't get anymore sadder for me right now. leaving my family in Ontario was hard, my mom still to this day cries all day, this to breaks my heart.
I came back last Friday to face a few medical challenges myself #1 my hip and #2 a scan to see if I have cancer. night sweets along with a mass sticking out my side near my kidney....so the battle begins. Not only have i been fighting this battle to get the WLS from Dr pace for the past 5 years now I have to face this. They say God doesn't give you more then you can handle but I'm not sure anymore....I'm not one to surcome to depression or suicide don't get me wrong, I could never be so unselfish to do that to my kids but a nice cozy hole somewhere would be awesome...lol....I will be having my hip surgery within the next 6 weeks due to a hole in my bone and a large amount of deterioration to my femur. My orthopedic surgeon had sent me to another ortho for a consult because my case is so complicated with my weight and the mess my bones are in...my new ortho was disappointed I have not yet even had my apt to see Dr Pace. I have stopped reading the forum because this only depresses me more when I see people getting apts when they have only just sent in referrals this year, I feel it's not fair to all the others who have been waiting for years....I know at least 10 woman who are waiting for WLS on his list with no medical problems and are lower BMI's and still no apts, they have been waiting for years like me and it's not fair....I feel very sad for them as well as myself.
I want a chance to live just as much as everyone else.
My Journey
Jun 20, 2011
Hi, My name is carrie, I'm 45 , married and have a Daughter 26 who lives in B.C and A son 22 who lives in Hampden NL with his fiance and my Grandson Ryder who is my world..I live in Gould's NL for now but have my home in Hampden NL and will be returning after my husbands contracts are up....I find I'm very lonely here without friends but at least I have the ones back home that I get to visit every 6 weeks or so.
My story begins way back when I was 4 and my parents found out I had an immune disorder that prevented from eating anything except , lamb, rice and lettuce until I was 12 years of age....I had shots everyday and also a series of shots from my DR once a week in order for my body to accept food. I was very thin and pale and was often called cancer stick in school....very depressing but they were youngsters with no clue of the effects it would have on me. At the age of 11 I was in an accident and crushed my bones from my waist down and was hospitalized for 8 months and then in a wheelchair for 2 years until all 8 of my surgeries were over...arggg those were trying times I tell ya....The good news is I was able to eat most foods again so with no exercise in a wheelchair and my taste buds so excited for different foods the lbs started coming as fast as I could chew. I went from being called cancer stick to cosmic cow,,,,,then penguin cause I had a limp when I did walk....I wonder If my eating habits now have something to do with trauma as a child. I have had 5 more surgeries since then and am waiting for another one now, but the challenge now is I'm 100lbs overweight and they feel I will not heel well so this makes it complicated..
I stated my journey to get WLS back 5 years ago , saw Dr Pace and was put on a list...I have had 2 more new referrals sent into his office and am on a waiting list still....who knows when the call will come in. I just hope its soon.
I'm not sure why I'm writing on a blog....I;ve tried to make contacts on here but It seems like its not working, so for now this is going to be my diary of my struggles and hopes.
I have put in an add to meet people in st John's with the same struggles to swim, chat and help each other out....I'm going to be having coffee with a few of these woman at the end of this week....This makes me happy.
I've been swimming for the past 2 or 3 weeks now and trying hard to eat healthy but same old same old....I fell off the wagon at least 5 times so far. I hope this week is a better week.
2 comments
My story begins way back when I was 4 and my parents found out I had an immune disorder that prevented from eating anything except , lamb, rice and lettuce until I was 12 years of age....I had shots everyday and also a series of shots from my DR once a week in order for my body to accept food. I was very thin and pale and was often called cancer stick in school....very depressing but they were youngsters with no clue of the effects it would have on me. At the age of 11 I was in an accident and crushed my bones from my waist down and was hospitalized for 8 months and then in a wheelchair for 2 years until all 8 of my surgeries were over...arggg those were trying times I tell ya....The good news is I was able to eat most foods again so with no exercise in a wheelchair and my taste buds so excited for different foods the lbs started coming as fast as I could chew. I went from being called cancer stick to cosmic cow,,,,,then penguin cause I had a limp when I did walk....I wonder If my eating habits now have something to do with trauma as a child. I have had 5 more surgeries since then and am waiting for another one now, but the challenge now is I'm 100lbs overweight and they feel I will not heel well so this makes it complicated..
I stated my journey to get WLS back 5 years ago , saw Dr Pace and was put on a list...I have had 2 more new referrals sent into his office and am on a waiting list still....who knows when the call will come in. I just hope its soon.
I'm not sure why I'm writing on a blog....I;ve tried to make contacts on here but It seems like its not working, so for now this is going to be my diary of my struggles and hopes.
I have put in an add to meet people in st John's with the same struggles to swim, chat and help each other out....I'm going to be having coffee with a few of these woman at the end of this week....This makes me happy.
I've been swimming for the past 2 or 3 weeks now and trying hard to eat healthy but same old same old....I fell off the wagon at least 5 times so far. I hope this week is a better week.
