badkidzmom
Donna's Journey
Dec 16, 2006
I'm a 36 year old mother of 2. I've been dieting since I was 11. The only way I ever have been able to lose weight is to half kill myself with exercise and now my knees are shot so that is out of the question. I have about every exercise video known to man. My biggest fear is becoming diabetic. In the past 3 years I have watched my mom age 49, my Nana 59. and my dad 56 all die from some complication of being diabetic. My children have also had to see this happen and I don't want them to have to go thru this again with me. It also hinders me socialy because I don't like to go out because I feel like I'm the fat lady in the crowd that everyone is looking at. It's amazing how people can be so rude to you when your fat and not think twice about it. At my dads funeral (Sept 2002) one busy body lady made it a point to come up and tell me how fat I've gotten (well gee thanks for pointing that out I hadn't noticed there goes my dream of being a guest star n "Baywatch unless they need an extra to play a beached whale.) I go to my first meeting with Dr Clark on 3/18/03 and I can't wait. Me and 2 friends of mine are going thru this together so we can all support each other along the way. I haven't told many people about it because the few I have told say why don't you diet and exercise to lose the weight that this is toooooo extreme. You just can't make a person that has never been overweigt that isn't about vanity but a fight for my life and wanting to be able to do all the things I can't do because of my weight. I want to be able to run and play with my kids. I want to be able to go to the Nascar race with my husband but my butt is sooooooo big I can hardly fit in the seat. The last time I went in May 2002 I felt so bad for the lady next to me because my butt was in half her seat I felt like I should pay her for half the cost of her ticket. Then the worst part is the stairs you have to climb to get to my seat. I had to stop and catch my breath more than once ad God forbid if you need to get up to go to the restroom. I dreaded having to walk past all those people and face the dreaded stairs again.
03/18/03
Went to my first meeting with Dr Clark today. He does a siminar with about 20 people that are interested in wls. He goes over everything and answers all questions. It's very important to him that as his patient you are well informed of all the benefits and risks. I felt very comfortable with him. After he reviews the file his staff will contact you and let you know if they are ready to submit to insurance for approval or if something else is needed. So now the waiting begins. His staff was great. Very friendly and answers all questions and told us don't hesitate to call with more questions or if you just want an update on things. Well wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.
3/21/03
Well I think I'm going to call on Tue. and see if there is any news about approval. I don't like waiting as you can tell. I don't think there will be a problem with approval but it would be one less thing to worry about.
3/26/03
Hi just a quick update. Tracy from Dr Clark's office called today said the doctor had read over my file and everything looked good. But I will have to quit smoking and Dr clark needed a letter from my counsler saying that my condition is stable (depression) then we would be set to turn in for insurance approval. Spoke with Dr Poe and he said he would have me a letter waiting at the front desk on Monday. I guess things a moving along good so far. I've met some nice people on this site (Hi Mary & Christy). Say a prayer for me about the smoking or should I say the not smoking.
April 15, 2003
Guess what? I'M APPROVED!!! I am sooooooo happy. I talked with Dana at my insurance and she said that the letter went out yesterday but because I am so excited she is going to fax it to Dr. Clark's office so I can get a date. I called Shawn at the office and she said they are booking for June and as soon as she gets the fax we can pick a date. Life is good and thank you Lord for answering my prayers
4/21/03
Guess what. I got a date, July 14,2003!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Happy dance and a cartwheel (well maybe not a cartwheel now but after the surgery I will do a cartwheel lol). Thanks to everyone for there messages of encourgement and advice. My AMOS family is the best. Love you guys & gals thanks for being my inspiration. It's great to know that the answers to all my questions are just a posting on the message board away. Also please send your prayers out for my friend Ruby C. She had her surgery today (I'm so jealous lol) so she is an official "LOSER" now. Here is a list of all my appointments:
6/25/03*** 3 hour pre op class that Dr Clark requires. Then I'm
off to the hospital for pre op tests.
7/03/03*** Pre op visit with Dr Clark. I heard this takes
about an hour. He likes to make sure all your
questions are answered and that you know all
risks and benefits.
7/14/03*** Surgery my rebirth. Please say a prayer for me.
7/24/03*** Post op visit. Hope I have a good weight loss and no
complications.
Well guys the count down begins.
Well time seems to be creeping by. I am so ready for July 14. My friend had her surgery on 4/21 start weight of 287lbs and at her 10 day check up she was at 261lbs. She looks great. I can't wait. I also want to say THANK YOU!!!!! to Min, she did a great job on my profile.
June 6, 2003 June 22,2003 HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!!!! July 13, 2003 July 18, 2003 Aug 8,2003 Oct. 15,2003
Hi guys hope I'm doing this right. As you can see my picture has been added to my profile. That is one of the very rare photos of me, I hate having my picture taken. I'm on my honeymoon at Lace Falls 11/06/00. My weight in the photo is about 222lbs and now I'm up to 234. What a porker. I hope this is the last summer I spend being "fat". I can't wait for 7/14. I'm not afraid at all. I'm very at peace with my decision to have this surgery. I've put it all in Gods hands. This is day 6 of my quit smoking effort (GROWL). Now take smoking withdrawl and add PMS (sorry guys) and what do you have? Lets just say I'm not pleasant to be around these days. I'm trying to spare my family so I fuss at the TV. You know that commercial that has all the teens on it talking about there parents invading there privacy but at the end they say Thank You. Well the thank you didn't matter to me I went off and started yelling at the TV saying you don't get privacy as long as your in my house your business is my business. At that point my 12 year old daughter asked me was I sure I wanted to quit smoking lol. She even offered me her babysitting money to buy a pack of cigarettes. I refuse to let a cigarette beat me.
Well I have not smoked since June 1. I would love to say the craving has gone away but it hasn't. My motto that I keep in mind when I want to smoke is "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION". I'm only 3 weeks away from my big day. I'm starting to get a little nervous. I'm not afraid of the surgery, I'm afraid of failure. What if I don't lose the weight. What if I'm the only one to screw this up. Then on the other side what is this works? How will the weight loss change my life?
Hope everyone is having a great holiday! So far mine has been great. I had what I will call my "Last Meal". My sister cooked all my favorites for me today and had what is left of our family over. I asked my sister to cook for me because she cooks just like our Nana did. She made me macaroni salad, fruit salad, potato salad, spinich dip, deviled eggs, and all the normal cook out stuff. My brother got his girls for an extra day so they could eat with us, so it was me, hubby, my kids, sister, brother n law, nephew, Popa, and my x husband. Yea we consider my x part of the family so we always invite him to the family gatherings. It gets even better than that, we live on the same street. He and my husband get along great so it works out good for the kids to have both parents involved in there everyday life. Sorry I got so off track of my up and comming sugery. I am almost ready. I have order my protein. It's called Unjury. I had always heard that protein was so gross so I was surprised on how great this tasted. They gave us sample at our last support meeting. I had to hide it from my 12 year old because she liked it so much. I have also ordered some samples of Vita Lady. And I am proud to say I am still not smoking. I went to my pre op visit with Dr Clark yesterday 7/3. All my pre op tests came back fine so we are set to go on 7/14. Oh yea I gained 5lbs so I now weigh 239. I have to be at the hospital at 9:45 for check in and my surgery will at 11:45. I bought my husband and kids season passes for Busch Gardens and Water Country. They are at Water Country right now. It's 90 plus today so there going swiming and for the fire works. Of course I didn't go because I haven't owned a swim suit in years, but watch out next year Water Country here I come.
Well my big day is almost here. I can't wait. I'm surprised at how calm I am. I had my "phoso cocktail"so I am spending the day at home. I chased my husband and kids out for a few hours so I could get some stuff done around the house. I also didn't want anyone in my way when I have to go the bathroom.This sounds kinda weird but I just have this impulse that I must get my house cleaned from top to bottom before I go to the hospital tommorrow. I don't know if that comes from not wanting to come home to a messy house or from the thought of if something happens I don't want to be rememberd as a slob. The last part is just a joke I have all the faith in the world in Dr Clark and plus I know that I won't be alone in the operating room, the Lord will be right there with me holding my hand. I had another last meal last night. I just had to have a blooming onion from Out Back one more time. It was wonderful. When my hubby asked me what I wanted to eat last night I named of all these different foods from different restraunts and bless his heart he thought I was serious and was going to go get it for me. Well I guess thats all for now.">
I had my open VBG on Monday 7/14. I was in recovery a little longer than expected because my heart rate went down but other than that everything went well. I came home yesterday 7/17. I was surprised at how good I feel. I was expecting to feel like death warmed over but I feel great. I guess I must have a high tolerance for pain. The worse part of the whole thing was when the nurse removed one of my tubes before I left. Other than that the pain was minimal and I felt the most pain only when I had to get in and out of the bed. My daughter Rachel didn't leave my side the entire time I was in the hospital. They wouldn't let my hubby stay because I had a room mate (from hell I might add} so my 12 year old stayed with me to help get me in and out of the bed. But as I said I am home now and I feel good. I don't like my protein powder as much as I did pre op but it is tolerable. I don't feel hungry physically but I want something to eat so I guess it must be "head hunger". I'm still afraid this wont work for me and that I wont lose any weight. I have been up walking quite a bit and it does give me more energy when I go out and walk. My hubby cleaned the whole house while I was in the hospital which was worth having the surgery just to have someone else clean for a change lol. I'm going to venture out to the grocery store tonight to pick up a few things because I'm already getting stir crazy sitting ing the house all day. I can't wait until my first doctor visit to see if I have lost any weight. Well I will right more soon but I'm going out for another walk right now.
Boy do I miss food. I never realized it was such a big part of my life. I went to the doctor yesterday and I'm down to 215lbs. He also has given he the go ahead to eat solids, I just have to go slow. I went home and made a turkey wrap and I never had anything that tasted soooo good. Another good thing that happen was that I had to tighten the draw string on my PJ's. I try to walk 2 miles everyday and so far I've only missed 3 days of walking and that was due to rain.>
Wow long time since I have updated. It's been 3 months since my surgery and I feel great. I now weigh 176lbs. I can't believe how much my self esteem has improved. People at work are starting to call me skinny. I have about 36lbs to go before I reach goal. I can eat about anything that I have tried just in small amounts. I have been lazy about walking everday but I do try to walk as much as possible every week. On the weekends I take my dog on a six mile walk.
November 14,2003
Well today is my 4 month anniversary and I feel great. I now weigh 168lbs for a total loss of 75lbs. Not too bad if I say so myself. I want to thank Dr. Clark and his staff for giving me my life back. My confidence is up so much that my panic attacks rarely occur any more. I can go to the mall and walk around all by myself now. That is avery big step for me to be able to do that. I dress better and take pride in my appearance now. I'm even wearing make up and fixing my hair now. I have been lazy this past month on my walking but hope to get back on track with that. I find that I can eat most anything just in small amounts. Sometimes it drives me crazy that I can eat just a little bit because I have BAD HEAD HUNGER.I am a bad nibbler meaning I will pick at something I want to eat through out the day which I know is wrong to do. Lets just call it what it is I am a grazer. I'm trying to overcome this part but It will take some time. I did have to have an Upper GI and small bowl xray because I was getting sick alot but everything checked out ok. I guess it may have been a "bug" that was going around. Alot of people are telling me how great I look and that they didn't recognize me after not seeing me for a long time. Ah thanks I think ??? I am looking forward to the holidays. I love all the time spent with family, the hustle and bustle, putting up my Christmas tree. I am such a big kid, I can't wait for the christmas shows and my all time favorite movie,"A Christmas Carol" 1932 version and "It's A Wonderful Life. I have a copy of them both but I only watch them during the holidays which helps keep it special to me. I guess you could say it's my own little tradition to snuggle up with my hubby and watch them. Speaking of hubby things have been going great. We had a rough time of it at first but now things are going smoothly. I think at first he was worried about me losing weight and leaving him but I think he finaly realized I'm in it for the long haul. He really likes the changes I'm going through. Well I guess I have babbled on enough so see ya later. Goal to lose 100lbs total by my 6th month anniversary which will be Jan. 14, 2004. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Nov. 29, 2003
Well I don't think I will reach my goal of losing 100lbs by Jan. 14, 2004. I just found out last Friday 11/21 that I am 14 weeks pregnant. How in the heck did that happen. I thougt everything was wrong with me but that. I never got sick with my other two children so when I strated getting sick I called my surgen and he sent me for an Upper GI which came out fine. I thought I was tired all the time from lack of nutrition due to being sick alot and the final straw was when I was having to pee all the time I thought maybe it was a bladder infection. All tests came back clean sO I decided for sh** and giggles I would get a pregnancy test. Well 3 test later all were positive. I saw my OB on Tue and she did an ultra sound and we found I was 14 weeks along. The last cycle I had was in the hospital after my WLS. The doctor said it was normal not to have irregular cycles during rapid weight loss. I am considered high risk due to my past history, WLS, and the Upper GI, and my age (37). So far everything looks good but I am being sent to a specialist for further tests. Please say a prayer for my little guy/girl. My hubby is on cloud 9, this is his first and only child as long as he's with me. I am trying to eat a little more for the baby at the doctors request and I'm drinking the nasty protein drinks again. In some ways this has been easier and in some ways it has been harder being preg after WLS. I have a history of early miscarriage which I went through those weeks without even knowing I was pregnant. I am tired alot and require alot of sleep and still get sick alot which I didn't have with my other two children. Well I will keep everyone updated with me and the baby.
March 5,2004
I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted. I am now 27 weeks pregnant and have gained a total of 7lbs as of last months OB visit which has me weighing in at 173lbs. I go again this Tuesday and I am so afraid to weigh in. This past month I have been grazing like crazy and have found out that I don't dump so I have been on a M&M binge. The baby is doing fine and "her" growth is right on schedule. Everyone says it looks like I'm still getting smaller everywhere except my belly.
June 2, 2004
Hi it sure has been a long time since my last update. Well I had my daughter on 5/22 she weighs 6lbs 11oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I gained 24lbs during my pregnancy (no complications) and as of today I have lost 21lbs. I am now on the losing side again. I weigh 169lbs on my OB's scale and 166lbs on my WLS surgens scale so I think I will go with the lower weight and hope to get down to 130lbs ASAP. I'm not able to exercise yet because I had a c-section and when they removed the staples today part of it hasn't closed so I have to keep it packed with gauze until it heals. Doctor said I was doing too much too soon. I've been feeling so good I didn't see any reason to take it easy but I guess I will have to now. Well as soon as I make some more progress I will update.
Oct 28, 2004
Well I made it back for my official weigh in at Dr Clarks office. I kept putting off my check up because I wanted to lose some more weight but oh well, anyway I'm at 156lbs. Not too bad considering I was pregnant during my first year post op. I checked the profile of a lady that had surgery 2 days after me by the same surgeon with very similar stats and she's down to 142lbs so I don't think I've done too bad on my weight loss. I have been going to Curves 2 days a week, walk 2 miles 3 days a week and do some Pilates 2 days a week. I can wear a misses size 6 or a juniors size 11. My biggest problem area is my belly so after I lose 21 more pounds I'm going to check on a tummy tuck. Even if I don't lose another pound I want to thank Dr Clark for giving me my life back. I am so happy now and have so much more energy than I did before this surgery. I am even more sociable than I was before. Before this surgery I would enter a room and hope that no one would notice I was there and now it's hey look at me I'm here and I've lost weight and I'm feeling good about being me.
March 5,2005
Today I heard every WLS patient longs to hear "You need to stop losing weight you look too skinny". I had my nails done today by a frined that has done my nails for the past 9 years and she said that to me today when I was leaving. Next at WalMart my hubby and I ran into some old friends that also have a new baby and they comented on how thin I am and last night another friend called me skinny. WooHoo.....I weight 136lbs and still shrinking...
May 5, 2005
I am now at 129lbs and feeling great. Now people are starting to say that I am too thin. I just want to maintain at this point. I can wear a size 3 juniors in Levi jeans. There stretch jeans but who cares there still a size 3. I have so much loose skin and wish I could afford plastic surgery to remove it.
July 31, 2005
I had my 2 year check up with Dr Clark last week and I'm down to 126lbs. I also had my yearly at my OB's office last week and she didn't realize it was me until she saw the stretch marks under my arm during my breast exam and she was like "Oh now I remember which Donna Smith you are, you were my WLS mom." What a way for someone to remember you by your stretch marks. I had lost 43lbs since having the baby. My OB's daughter had WLS 3 months ago and DR Clark was also her doctor.
December 18, 2005
I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. My weight is now from 123-129, just depends on the time of the month. Hubby took me to the store last night ti pick out some new clothes for Christmas. I still have the tendency to go for the larger sizes. I started with large shirts and had to keep sending him back for a smaller size. Needless to say we ended up buying small shirts and in there stretch pants I needed an xs. It still blows my mind that I am so small now. I work out 5 days a week for an hour a day. I feel that I eat alot so I just want to keep my weight under control.
September 20, 2006
I can't believe how long it has been since I last updated. Since I last posted I turned 40. This year I gave myself a birthday gift, I had a breast augmentation on 9/18. I was originally suppose to have the surgery 7/24 but I was so anemic the surgery got postponed until I got my iron levels up. The pain isn't too bad. I can't exercise for a few weeks and that is driving me crazy. My weight flucuates from 125-132 since the surgery. I haven't been in the 130's in such a long time I hope i'ts just fluid because I was only 127lbs on the day of the surgery.
December 16, 2006
Well since I last updated I am down to 1 boob. I got in infection in the left breast and my doctor had to remove the implant in Oct. the good news is I can get it put back in Feb 5th. Yea I have been stuffing my bra on the left side since Oct. The 1 boob I have looks great (lol). My average weight is 129. I keep a weight diary so I don't let it get out of control. I weigh myself every morning and have done so since my WLS. I can eat alot more now so I have to be very careful. Sometimes it sucks having to be so aware of every bite I take but if I don't I'll end up back where I started out. Hope everyone has a great holiday.
Photos
243
125
