auntlorlee

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This has entries from my original OH profile from when I first became a member back in 2003 until right before surgery in August of 2005. 

I am just beginning my journey. I have an iron-clad exclusion in my BCBS policy regarding WLS. I have the option of switching to Group Health in September. I am a bit worried about the whole ordeal with Dr. Bock. I wouldn't want to switch and then have something happen preventing me from having the surgery. BCBS is great for everything else, they just don't cover WLS. I guess I will just keep checking the message boards and hopefully things will go smoothly with his recovery.

6/04/04
Still waiting to switch to Group Health in Sept. My mom is having DS surgery in San Francisco next week. I am going as her support person but also to help my dad keep from going stir crazy waiting for her to get out of surgery. I can't wait to say that I am having surgery next week! Going for a sleep study later in the month. It's crazy but I am hoping I have sleep apnea so I can say I have a co-morbidity. I believe I do have it but now I will have documentation. I joined a local group to get support in my quest. Most of the people in the group have had DS surgery. There are two other women who have Group Health insurance that will be having the RNY. This group is really PRO DS. I am not sure if I will keep going or not. I probably will just to keep in contact with the two who are in the same boat at me as far as insurance.

By the way, I love this site! I have learned so much about the pros and cons of WLS. I believe us pre-ops need to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are so many misinformed people. I have been researching this surgery for almost a year and a half. I believe it is the best thing for me at this point. I am 37 years old and want to spend the rest of my life actually enjoying it.

8/25/04
Had my sleep apnea test done last night. Tech says he thinks I have it. He said I need to come back in for another study with the CPAP machine on. I guess now I have a co-morbidity! I still have not been able to switch insurances but I will next month. I already signed the paperwork. I just hope this is enough. I have a host of other health problems too, acid reflux, painful joints, elevated BP. But getting my PCP to refer me might be another problem. She is all for doing things the "natural" way. I love her to death but am not sure what she will say. Guess there is only one way to find out! I will wait until I am actually covered under Group Health before I consult with her. Wish me luck!

8/31/04
Haven't gotten my results back from sleep study. Good news is I received the guidelines from Group Health for WLS. If my sleep study comes back that I have sleep apnea and need a CPAP, then I will be in the clear. With my current BMI of 44.6, and documented diagnosis of sleep apnea with active treatment qualifies me for surgery. The only thing I don't have is the 6 months supervised weight management in the past 3 years. I was however under my doctor's supervision on Phen-fen 5 years ago for 6 months. I wonder if that will suffice... I have been on several diets over the last several years. I have made a list of everything I have done since I was 12 years old. And a list of all the problems I have now with being so heavy. I hope they see that I have tried and that I do have several risk factors. I dream of having this surgery all the time. I have had the good dreams, the bad dreams, and the downright scary dreams. But I know that this is what I want to do. I can't wait to be able to walk into Old Navy and pick something off the rack and not even try it on and just know that it will fit. I can't wait to not have people stare at me and think, "oh she has such a pretty face, if only she would lose some weight"... Believe me, I have actually heard people say that. Or when I was 15, the guy who whispered to his friend as I walked by, "she is cute but she has a big butt"... how very devastating is that to a 15 year old girl?? I have fought this struggle my whole life. The only time I have been skinny is when I starved myself to be that way by doing one diet or another, spending a fortune. I don't want to be skinny. I want to be HEALTHY! I am not hoping to be a size 6. I am hoping to be a healthy size, whatever that may be. I just can't be the size I am anymore. I want to be able to move and be active with my family and not suffer for a week afterward. Enough for now. Just wanted to update my profile. I am gonna try and get a pic on here soon. Take care...Lori Oh yeah, one more thing, I found out that I am only 5'4.5", not 5'6"!! So that makes my BMI even higher.

9/29/2004
Well got the results from my sleep study back. I do have sleep apnea and require a CPAP machine. I am seeing my doc on Friday regarding this. I will have to spend another night in the sleep clinic so they get get me adjusted right. I am also going to approach her for the first time to ask for a referral for surgery. I am a little nervous that she won't give me one. Crossing my fingers that she does. I also found out that Group Health will no longer require the 6-month medically supervised diet within the last 3 years! So....now there is nothing that should stop me from getting approved. I do know that Group Health generally denies everyone the first time. But I am fully prepared to fight if they do. I saw my mom last weekend. She looks great. She has lost almost 70lbs since her DS surgery in June. She gave me a bunch of clothes that no longer fit her. Boy did that hit home with me. I realized now more than ever that I need to get this done. My mother has always weighed more than me, alot more. But now that she is looking and feeling so good, I really really want to get this done. No...I am not jealous of her looking so good. I am very happy for her!!!! I am just soooo dang anxious to get this over with! Until next time America....

10/6/04
Went to the doctor on Friday to discuss my sleep apnea. She sent me to have x-rays on my hips to check for arthritis. They have been hurting me for about 6 months now but I hate to complain so I haven't been to the doc. But lately they have been really hurting. She also had me get blood work to rule out Rhumatoid arthritis. I have sent in my referral checklist to the Bariatric Nurse Coordinator at Group Health. I have emailed her several times but haven't gotten a response. I hate to be a pain in the ass so I don't want to call. But I guess if I want to get things done, I might have to. My doctor told me that she would totally back me up on this. She said that she would do whatever she could to help me get approved!!! Imagine how surprised I was to hear that. I thought for sure she would try and send me to Weight Watchers or something like it. You could have knocked me over with a feather when she told me she thought it was a great idea. It feels good to have her backing me up. I am fully prepared for Group Health to deny me the first time around. I have heard they deny everyone the first time. I guess they just want to see how many hoops you will jump through to get this surgery. I now have a BMI above 40 and 2 comorbidities on their list ( I only need one to qualify). I wonder if I should send some type of letter with the first batch of stuff?? I wish the surgeon's office would call or something. I am feeling a bit lost. And alot frustrated. I hope my whole journey isn't like this.....

10/8/2004
I finally heard from Dr. Bock's office. I am in shock as I sit here. They have already submitted for approval from the insurance company. The only thing I have sent in to the Dr. is the referral checklist. No diet history, no medical history, etc. Is this right?? I just know they are going to deny me immediately. I thought I had to send in all kinds of stuff with the pre-determination stuff. If anyone out there has any information on this, please email me. I am just stunned. I never thought it would go this quick. The one thing I don't have is the 6-month supervised diet history. But that is going away as of Jan 2005. I wonder if I should have waited until then?? Harriet told me that if I am denied because of that, to reapply for the surgery in January. What if I am approved right away? Could I be that lucky??? I seriously doubt it. I am going to be a basket case the next two weeks!!! Wish me luck! ~~~~Lori

10/15/04
DENIED! And get this, it is because of lack of information. Well what do ya know!!! I had a feeling that since all that was sent to my insurance was a referral checklist with my doc's signature on it! Of course they are gonna deny that!!! I am really pissed. I contacted the surgeon's office several times asking what else was needed for submission. I finally got an email back saying that they had already sumbmitted it. I think I got screwed. I am not sure but I think I did. I am really surprised the surgeon's office didn't let me know that I needed to send wayyyyy more information. Is this how it's supposed to work? I have gotten some really good information from a co-worker who had the surgery done. She has helped me more than the surgeon's office. I am not knocking them but I wish that I had a little more insight from them as to what I needed to send. I have gotten alot of helpful information of this website as well. I don't know what I would do without it. I just hope that I can get enough information together for my appeal. I have already faxed over a letter to my doctor asking for a medical necessity letter. I know she will give me one. She is all for the surgery. I better go for now. I am really bummed.... Take care AMOS family....

11/04/04
Still haven't gotten my letter of medical necessity from my PCP. Someone over there keeps dropping the ball. I have called, emailed, faxed them several times already. I am starting to get really frustrated. I am going to call again today to see what is going on. I am sure the receptionist is getting annoyed but last time I talked to her, she was more annoyed with the nurse not calling me back. She knows that I need this letter like yesterday! I contacted Harriet at Dr. Bock's office to get something in writing that the 6-month supervised diet requirement is going away in January. She told me she didn't have it yet but knew it was coming. I sure hope she is right. If she isn't, I would like to know now so I can join weight watchers. I feel so bummed all the time now. I want and need this surgery so bad. I should just join weight watchers anyway. Couldn't hurt I guess. I wish I had better news to report this time but unfortunately... Hopefully next time I will have something a little more exciting. Until next time America.... xoxo Lori

11/08/04
Finally heard from my doctor's office. The nurse told me, well you know Dr. J is really busy and she doesn't have alot of time, blah blah blah. I said yes I realize she is busy but how much time does it take for someone to call me and let me know you are working on my letter?? I said that I just wanted to know if they had received all the paperwork and where they were at in the process. No big deal! Well, I think I finally got through to the nurse. JUST KEEP ME INFORMED! She did say that I can call her anytime I want to check in. I guess that is a step in the right direction. I heard from another person that the supervised diet requirement is going away. I just wish we had it in writing. I am so torn. Do I send in as soon as I get my letter or do I wait until January... Shit, by the time I get my letter, it might BE January!! I just don't want this to get screwed up since I got TOTALLY screwed with my first request. I believe I can appeal as many times as they deny me but I am not sure. It isn't really clear in my insurance handbook. I have been having issues with depression lately. Somedays I feel like this is never going to happen. But then I think, there are people out there who have fought for years with their insurance companies to get this approved. I guess I shouldn't be so anxious. I will probably end up waiting 6 months or more after approval anyway to get surgery. So waiting another month and a half to send in my appeal isn't that long. And if I wait, that requirement won't even exist so there is nothing to stop me from approval. I meet the minimum requirements. We shall see.... Take care Amos family! xoxo Lori

11/19/04
Well here it is, 11 days later. Still no friggin letter. I talked to the nurse on Monday. She said, call me after lunch. But I got busy and forgot. So.. I called again 2 days later, never called me back. Now today I have called again, still no answer back. I will wait until the end of the day and then I will call again before they close and BITCH! This is getting so stinkin rediculous. In the meantime, my mom has lost 78 lbs. since June!!! She looks soooo good! She is TINY! I never knew how small my mom really was. She is gonna be a petite lil' thang! I am sooo proud of her. She looks and feels like she is 20 years younger. I can't wait to feel that way. Looks like it might BE January before I send in my appeal. The rate my doc is going. Ya know, I love her dearly but she is driving me insane at the moment! LOL! I know she is busy, but damn. Take 1/2 an hour of your time and sit down and write a letter. This better be the premo of all letters when I get it. I guess I should just count my blessings and wait. Like they say, Good things come to those who wait. I will update later if I hear from the doc. TGIF amos family!
Lori

11/22/04
Hey I have a face! Kewl! This pic is when I weighed about 220. I am 261 now. I need a full body shot. Time to get out the digital cam and actually "let" someone take my pic... ugh!
Lori

11/24/04
Here it is, almost the end of November and I still don't have a letter from my doc. I requested she do one on the 15th of October. I just got done talking to the nurse at my doc's office and she told me that they haven't even started it. She apologized up and down but it doesn't make me feel any better. She said that the doc just doesn't have the time to sit down and write a letter. I am done being pissed. It's kinda funny at this point. What more do I have to do?? I have an appt. on Dec 7th for my annual physical. I will speak to her about this then I guess. Maybe she can take the time during my appt to at least get started. Why couldn't she sit down for half an hour of her own free time and do this for me? I don't get it. I guess I am not as important to her as I thought. I have been seeing her for 15 years now. I figured I mattered more than that. Anyhoo, wanted to wish my AMOS family a Happy Thanksgiving! Take care and don't eat too much!!! Love, Lori

12/08/2004
Happy Birthday hubby! Well I went to the doc yesterday for my annual physical. My doctor felt soooo badly about my letter that she spent 2 hours with me!!! I couldn't believe it! She sat right in front of me and wrote the letter! It took her about 10 minutes of her time after asking a bunch of questions. The letter is pretty good. I will copy it here so you guys can tell me how it sounds. She is an awesome doc and I love her. She and her nurse kept apologizing left and right. The nurse told me I was the most understanding patient she has ever seen. (Kissing my butt I think!) Here is the letter:

TO: Group Health Medical Review
RE: Indications for gastric bypass surgery

I have been Lori *****'s primary care provider since March of 1990. Since our initial office encounter, Lori has struggled with obesity. She has tried valiantly over the years to lose weight, and has personally reported to me trials of Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig (twice), Nutri-system (twice) and the Prism Diet (no white flour, no white sugar, no carbs). Some of these have resulted in modest weightloss, but Lori has unfortunately always regained weight shortly after stopping the programs. I have treated her with phenteramine and fenfluramine, and Lori has tried E'ola drops (an ephedrine containing product). None of these drugs resulted in sustained weightloss, but fortunately did not permanently damage her health.

Currently, Lori weighs 264lbs and is 5'4 1/2" tall. She has confirmed obstructive sleep apnea, gastroesophageal reflux disease, and chronic hip pain, all secondary to her obesity. She is also chronically depressed, which is exacerbated by her poor body image and self-disgust at her inability to lose weight.

I feel that Lori is an ideal candidate for gastric bypass surgery. She is very bright, has researched the topic thoroughly, and understands the potential risks. She is very motivated to change her life. She believes that surgery is her only hope of ever getting her weight under control, and I concur.

If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
Margaret A. Jacobson, MD.

What do ya think family? I think it sounds like a pretty good letter. I just hope the insurance company thinks so too... I better get to work so everyone take care and keep me in your thoughts as I get ready to send in my appeal! YIKES!! Love~Lori

1/03/2005
Happy New Year everyone! I was hoping that this would be a happy day for me but alas, it isn't. I just called Group Health and found out that the 6-month supervised weightloss in the last 3 years isn't going away. I am soooo friggin bummed! My surgeon's office told me months ago that this requirement was going away in January. I haven't sent in my appeal yet because I wanted to be sure this was gonna happen. Well now that it hasn't, I am too scared to appeal and get denied again. The next level of appeal is to go in front of the board. I just know that this isn't gonna happen for me. It was too good to be true. I know I can just go do the 6 months but I only have 3 more months before I can't appeal the decision (180 days to appeal from date of denial). Sure I can do that but then I will have to re-appeal in July only to wait another 8-10 months to have the surgery making it 3+ years since I started this journey. I am so sad......

1/6/05
Well I am in a much better mood this time. I found out that GHC did change their criteria for the surgery. I am sooo happy! I trotted on down to the post office yesterday and mailed in my appeal. I am crossing my fingers that they approve me finally. I meet all of the requirements for this surgery. I talked to customer service yesterday and finally got someone who was very compasionate and understanding. She was very willing to help me with my problem and told me exactly what to send in, how to word it in my appeal letter, and then she wished me luck. I have spoken with some very rude people there and some that are just not up to helping. Seeming like they were just trying to get me off the phone. I am somewhat displeased with them anyway because of another incident which I am not going to discuss until I get my approval. Call me crazy but I worry they will check up on me here and use it against me!!! I know, how can they identify me through this. I haven't posted my last name or my city. I am just trying to be sooo careful so I am sure to be approved! Silly, I know. I will go into detail about the other problem some other time. It involves my 14 year old daughter and some referrals I received accidentally. YIKES! Anyhoo... just wanted to update my profile for now. I probably won't update again until I hear something back from GHC. Pray for me!!! "Lord give me the strength to get through the next two weeks!!" Love to you all, Lori

1/19/05
No approval yet. Talked to the person handling my appeal yesterday and she said that she was sending it over to the physician for review right away. They requested access to my medical files so I guess that is a good sign? I hope so. I was laying in bed last night, trying to sleep. I wasn't very successful. These thoughts kept going through my head about this surgery. For those of you who are post-op, did you ever think that this surgery was too good to be true and that it would never happen for you? Ever think that we are just destined to be overweight for the rest of our lives? Sometimes I feel like it's not in the cards for me. How could I ever get so lucky as to be approved?? Will I ever again be a normal weight? Will I be fat forever? These thoughts along with what I will look like after surgery, what size will I end up, will I feel good about myself, will I have complications, will my hair completely fall out...etc... I tried to think of other things like work, family, and the house. But it just wasn't working. I hope I don't have to wait and wonder much longer. I don't know how many more nights I can go without sleeping!!! I will probably be worse when I finally get approved... Not sure how long the wait will be after approval. Some say months. Other say weeks. I have to be on a weight management program for 3 months before and 9 months after. I can do that. I can wait 3-4 months I guess. I know what I am feeling is completely normal. I am sure everyone goes through this. I have really tried to remain calm and not get all worked up over not knowing if they will approve. I have been doing great until yesterday. I was informed by a co-worker that she was denied right after the first of the year and then told yesterday that they overturned her decision because of the new requirements. Why can't they do that for me??? Why does mine need to be reviewed by the doctor and the appeals coordinator?? I meet all of the requirements. There is no reason for them to deny me. None, whatsoever! I love having a safe haven to come and write down my thoughts. It does help to get it out, even if I am not actually speaking the words. Thanks for listening to me rant. Love to you all, Lori

1/31/05
Hey all. I still have no news about my appeal. Today is day 25 of 30 that they have to give me an answer. Feb 6 will be 30 days. I called customer service last week and got the "they have 30 days to decide" speech. If they can't make a decision in 30 days, they can extend it another 15 "business" days. Which as you know is almost a month. I have been trying to be so patient through this. I even quit smoking 10 days ago. I have done amazingly well. Not even a drag. Even with the stress of waiting. I feel like I am really gonna quit for good this time. I was ready. I hate smoking. And it is better for surgery too. I think I am gonna concentrate on dropping some weight too. I know it will help me in the long run. I will update as soon as I get any new info. I might try calling customer service again. I wish I had a phone number for the appeals department... Anyhoo, have a great day everyone! Love, Lori

2/2/05
Talked to the person in the appeals department who is handling my case. She said there is no decision yet but I will have a yes or no Friday. They will be sending a letter out then. She said I should have it no later than Monday. I am soooo scared they are gonna deny me again. I really have nothing to worry about because I meet all of the requirements. But I still worry they will have some excuse for not approving me. Gawd this is torture. I will update just as soon as I hear something. The gal in the appeals department is kind of gruff. Like she really doesn't like to be bothered. I hope this isn't a sign. I am off to the doc in a few to have my ear checked. I think I have an ear infection. I have been sick with a cold for almost 2 weeks now. I hope I don't need antibiotics. Anyway, that is my update for today.... Wish it was better news. Take care family, Lori xoxo

2/7/2005
Well, guess what? I AM APPROVED!!!!! I received my approval letter in the mail today! I can't believe it. I am in shock still. I don't know whether to cry or jump for joy! I have waited months to be able to come here and update with a big fat APPROVED!!!!! I won't have a surgery date for a while yet but the biggest hurdle is gone. I feel sooooo relieved! Thanks to everyone for their love and support. I wouldn't have made it this far without you all here on this site. I gotta go call people now!!!! weeeeeeee! xoxoxo Lori

2/16/05
Hey all. Just thought I would pop in and update a lil'. I am really bummed out. I found out that I will probably have to wait 10 months for my surgery to happen. I can't believe how long it takes with Group Health. It is rediculous that they only have 2 surgeons who do the surgery. Why, if they are so backed up, won't they let us go out of network for this. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I am so jealous of those of you who's insurance approves and you get a surgery date within weeks. I have read some profiles where people go to the doc, get approval, and get surgery all within 2 weeks!!!! I just can't get excited yet. Seems like this STILL will never happen for me. Sorry for being bitchy but I am sooo frustrated!!! GRRRRR. Take care all you wonderful peeps! xoxo Lori

2/24/05
Hello everyone. Thought it was time for an update. I have my first phone consult with the surgeon's office on March 8th. To go over what tests I need, how long I have to wait, etc. I wish I could be more excited about it. I guess I should be thankful that I am approved when there are sooo many of you out there that haven't been. I need a better attitude!!! I had a birthday on the 17th of this month. 38 years old! UGH! I told my husband that he better plan on taking me somewhere tropical for my 40th because I am gonna be lookin all hot and shit! He laughed. Said he was gonna start saving for my boob job! Stinker! I am a 44 D now, he loves it. When I was thinner, I was a 36 C. Happy with that. Would be happy if that is all the smaller I get after surgery. I just worry about the gravity effect. I was 21 years old when I had 36 C's. Two kids and over 100lbs later, I think they might sag a lil! Tomorrow marks a month and a half that I quit smoking! I can't believe I actually did it. I have been smoking off and on since I was 15! Quit both times I was pregnant. Foolishly started up again afterwards. I am gonna do it this time for good. I was ready. Sick of them and the smell. My nose is finally getting back to normal as far a smell goes. I can smell a cig from a passing car I swear! Anyhoo, that is my update. Oh yeah one more thing... I told the surgeon's office that my insurance could very well change in Oct. They tried to drop Group Health last year but didn't. I worry that they will this year. Anyway, Harriet at Dr. Bock's office told me that she would try and get me scheduled before Oct. So I might be looking at a Sept surgery date. I hope we can do it at the end of Aug since I work for a school district. Sept is a bad month for me. I am the accountant for the district and my busiest, craziest time is September-October. We shall see! Take care all you lovely people! xoxo Lori

3/14/05
Look at my beautiful new profile!!! Thanks Cindy! It looks awesome! Now I just need to insert some new pics of me. Well I had my consult with Harriet last week. She is very informative. I found out that I will probably have surgery in Sept. So not too far off. I was hoping for sooner but this will do. I am waiting now for my doc to contact Dr. Bock's office to set up the testing I need to have done. Hopefully they get right on that and not stall like they did with my letter. I am starting to get excited now. This is really happening for me. Well, I better go for now. We just moved our offices at work and I haven't unpacked it yet. Thanks for everything family!!! xoxo Lori

3/28/05
A short update on me.... I have completed all but one test. I have had my psych consult, my blood tests, urinalysis, EKG. I only need my Spirometry test done and then I am ready. I don't know if it will make a difference of when I get surgery. But I have all my ducks in a row so far. I also found out that my insurance is dropping WLS from the policy starting October 1. Crossing my fingers that it happens sometime between the end of June and the 1st of September. Gotta run for now... Take care family! xoxo Lori

4/12/05
Well here I am again. I had a lil' problem with my profile but am up and running again! I have finished all of my testing, paid my nutritional counseling fee, etc. I am now waiting for Dr. Bock's office to schedule me for orientation. I am still frustrated with the fact that they only allow 2 surgeons to do this surgery for Group Health. But there is nothing I can do about it. Click on the link above for recent pics of me. Sorry they are blurry but they give you an idea of how I look. I took them with my daughter's cheapy digital camera/web cam on April Fool's day.. of all days!! I will update when I get my orientation date or hear an estimated time of when that will happen. xoxo Lori

4/21/05
Hey family! Thought I would pop in for an update. I received a letter from Harriet yesterday. It was the date for my Pre-op Orientation. June 3, 2005. I will meet with the surgeon, the anethstesiologist, and nutritional counselor. Then at the end of the day, yes it takes all day, I will have my surgery date! I am soooo friggin excited. I can't wait to have this surgery and start my new life. My last fat summer. I can't believe it. No more worrying about how I must look on the back of our Harley. No more being the fattest female at the bike rally. No more feeling like my hubby should be with someone skinnier than me. He has NEVER even hinted that. I know its just me worrying that he is ashamed of my fat ass. He loves me for me. And supports me 1000%. I want to healthy again. Ok, I am getting sappy now. I better get back to work. Thanks for all your support family. You ROCK! XOXO Lori

5/17/05 I have just updated my photobucket with a bunch of new pictures. I even posted one of my hubby and my son. I need to get one of my daughter on there too. She is gorgeous!! There is a picture of my mom with her "fat pants". She had surgery last June. She went from a size 30 to a 12 in less then a year! I hope I do as well. No news to report on my WLS front. Still waiting for June 3rd to get here for my orientation. I am hoping to get a surgery date that day. Take care family! xoxo Lori

5/31/05 Thought I would come in and update. I have my pre-op orientation this coming Friday. I am supposed to meet my surgeon and get my surgery date but can't because he isn't there on that day. So since he won't be there on Friday, I have to take another full day off from work, June 10th. I am not having Dr. Bock for my surgery. I have been assigned to Dr. Au. I did tell Harriet that I didn't care which surgeon does my surgery. But now I am a little worried. I am sure he is completely capable. He has been a surgeon for 25 years. Seems like time is going by really fast though. Guess that is a good thing! I have a feeling that I will get a surgery date sooner than I expected. Yeeehaaww!! xoxo Lori

6/15/05 I am here with an update on my surgery date. August 24th I will be going in and changing my life. 71 more days and I will too be a loser! It feels surreal that this is finally happening. After months of frustration and tears it's finally happened. I have a date! I am so happy and excited and scared at the same time. I want to thank all of you who have encouraged me and made me feel welcome into this community. Your support means the world to me. I still can't believe that I am finally posting my date. Wow!!!! Take care family, xoxo Lori

7/18/05 WOW!! It has been a while since I updated! Sorry about that! I guess it was because I really had nothing new to report. I started with my nutritionist about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I am happy to report that I have lost 7.5 lbs since I started the pre-surgery diet! I probably gained some of that back this weekend though. We spent the entire weekend at a basketball tournament in Spokane. Needless to say, I didn't drink any protein shakes! I tried to make the best choices possible. Anyhoo... I have 37 days until my surgery! Yikes! I am really getting nervous now. I keep having the usual thoughts of not making it, is this the right choice, etc. And then I go to Spokane where it is in the 90's and I don't have a pair of shorts that aren't skin tight on me making me terribly uncomfortable. So we go to Big K thinking I might find something cheap in the way of shorts to wear. I reach for the size I think I am and find out that they are wayyyy to small for me. I wanted to cry right then and there. I was walking with my 150lb athletic daughter through the store. I told her that I couldn't wait until I didn't have to worry about being fat anymore. She just put her arm around me and gave me a lil hug. She is the sweetest girl I know. She will be 15 in September. She tells me all the time that she can't wait until we can share clothes! I love her to so much! My husband tried to help me find something, bless his heart, but I was in a royal grouchy mood and was a bit snappy to him. He just walked off to the sporting goods without saying a word. Probably the best thing he could have done!!! It was our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday. We spent it traveling from Spokane to home. It is about a 6-7 hour drive with the traffic. I spent it with my pants unzipped because they were too tight and it was too hot. I was in no mood to "celebrate" our anniversary by the time we got home. I have no desire to get intimate with him. It is not because I don't like him or want him. I just don't feel sexy or sexual being this fat. Yes, I said FAT! I know I made the right decision to have this surgery. I KNOW that my relationship (sexual) with my husband will improve. I KNOW that my moods will improve. I KNOW that my health will improve. I KNOW that I will pull through and be ok. Thanks for listening to my ranting. I can't wait to have my surgery. I know the next 37 days will go fast. I have never wanted summer to come to an end so quickly before! Next summer will be AWESOME and I won't want it to end! Take care family! xoxo Lori

8/1/05 Hey all. 23 more days! I am getting so ancy! But I have to tell ya... the time is flying past! I have just been trying to keep my mind on other things. But, I keep in the back of my mind that I hope I haven't gained any weight. I lost 7.5lbs and haven't weighed again. I haven't exactly been sticking to my diet plan either. It's so hard. Especially with a busy family. My daughter is playing in some kind of tournament almost every weekend. We are hardly ever home. It is very convenient to stop and grab something to eat. I know I should be carrying around my protein shakes but how convenient is that?? You have to keep it cold so that means some kind of ice chest. Pain in the tush!! I just want to get the surgery over with so I don't have to worry about it any more. I know there will be other things for me to worry about and complain about. I am just so sick of protein shakes. Good thing my doc is against them after surgery. He believes in getting your protein from food. Anyhoo, thanks for listening to my latest rant. Take care family! xoxo Lori

8/10/05 14 days from today! I can't friggin believe it! I am starting to freak a little bit. I know everything will be ok. I know I made the right choice. What I am freaking about it the weightloss issue. Pre-surgery weightloss that is. I am soooo worried that I will have gained weight instead of lost. I have been doing the diet. Not religiously but I have been staying on track for the most part. The protein shakes are still giving me HELL! But I have now switched to some I bought from Vitalady. I bought about 10 different samples. So far I have tried the Roadside Lemonade and the Fuzzy Navel both of which are pretty good if you mix with more water than is suggested. I have been hitting the water bottle really hard too. I do feel a bit "skinnier" today. I think its the water. I have been peeing alot more too. Yes, I know, I should have been doing the water all along. I have been, just not like this. I am getting a minimum of 64 oz a day. More like 96oz. I have been trying super hard the last few days to stay away from carbs. I still am having issues with BM's. I usually go at least 2 times a day. Now I am lucky if I go once. I am hoping that the water will help with that. I have been trying to eat more ruffage too. I don't want to resort to a laxative. But, I am going to do the ol' bowel cleanse a day or two before surgery. I will be on a liquid diet the week before my surgery. Shrinking my liver. I know I am freaked out for no reason. I am sure I will be ok and not weigh more than I did at my consult, 281.25lbs. Also... another plus... I am due anyday to start my period. I always weigh more during that. I wouldn't be surprised to see a 5lb loss from that. Crossing my fingers! Thanks for checking on me! I will update more as the days roll by. I am soooooo excited! YEEEHAWWW!! Take care family xoxo Lori

About Me

Before & After
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This is me a couple of months before WLS - 281 lbs!

281lbs

Sept 6th, 2006, 163lbs, size 8 jeans!

163lbs

Friends 42

Latest Blog 6