Anndie94
I was actually a skinny kid but I was raised in a family that believed in clearing your plate! I remember as a child being the only one at the table because I still had food on my plate and I couldn't get up until it was completely empty. So I learned to stuff myself so that I wouldn't be left sitting alone at the table while my siblings were playing or watching television. I continued this habit and got so good at it that I never even felt the sensation of full. I knew to stop eating when the plate set before me was empty. The crazy thing about that is we used to call empty plates, "Happy Plates"!
I began to pack on the weight and became a chunky or chubby child. I remember wearing the same size clothes as my sister who is 3 years older than me. Fast forward to junior high and I remember being one of the tallest and I also developed early so I was shaped like a woman at a very early age. This was so uncomfortable for me. I had older boys looking at me and thinking I was older because of my body, never looking into my eyes while speaking to me but my chest! I then began to emotional eat because I hated the way I looked and I hated the attention I was getting and it wasn't the right kind of attention.
Thank goodness I was smart enough to surround myself with great friends who loved and accepted me for who I was. I had sad times but not a sad or horrible childhood! I don't want people to think that at all. Big people get a bad wrap for being desperate and sad already and I'm not trying to feed into that stereotype at all!
As an adult, I continue to clear my plate and the plate size grew along with my waist size! I always thought I was a beautiful big Woman and always wanted to represent the BBW's in a positive way. My reality check was when I was on blood pressure medication and looked at the facts concerning my life....both parents diabetics, both have high blood pressure, both overweight, my mother has heart issues and her quality of life is diminishing. I had to take a hard look at myself now that I am in my 30's and make some choices. Life or death, it was no longer about proving the world wrong on the fact that Big Girls can be sexy and beautiful, but now this girl needs to be healthy!
So here I am 2 days out from my surgery date and I am on a different path and a different journey, but I am determined to "Live My Best Life"!
