Amye

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

This week has been a rollercoaster ride of a week, God bless me. There were some really good days then there were some really bad days. I have not been hungry since I have been trying to lose the weight, unlike other times, but one night I was setting home alone and it was like I could not get enough to eat. No matter what yogurt I ate I was still hungry, so I ate a bacon sandwich and felt so guilty for eating it (I was full, but felt guilty). I went to get weighted Monday and I had lost 5 more lbs this week. It was so much better then the 2 from the week before. I am getting on with my life; there are a lot of changes that is going to happen in this year coming up, can not wait to see how they all play together.

Well I guess the first day of this journey that I have decided to take started about three week, when my husband came home from work and told me that my body was disgusting to him. There are no word that I can say that can explain the hurt and the pain that I felt as we talked about ending a 15 year marriage because of the way he felt about me and my body. Even though I am the largest I have ever been I can tell you that I have fault with my weight all my life. I have never been able to be thin even when he married me. For a couple of day I cried, got mad and was flooded with all kinds of feeling. As I talked to my friend about her surgery that she had and I had decided to try one more time to lose the weight on my own since I do not have insurance and can not afford to have surgery at this time. With going to the Dr. Office on Mondays to get weighed (because my scale does not go high enough to get the right weight) and eating one good meal a day and yogurt, nuts and water the other two meals the first week I had lost 2 lbs. I can tell you I was not happy. Then the next week (o my) was Thanksgiving and I gained 7 lbs, again not happy. Now I just finished up my third week and I had only lost 2.5 lbs but I do have a better outlook on it I have started working out (as much as I can) in the mornings and still only eating my one good meal and my yogurt, nuts and water. I am looking forward to see Monday how this week is going to go. But though all the stuff (Junk) I am going though in my life right now I have decided to do this for me (not my husband).